Sexual Health

Tag: Sexual Health

How Herpes affects Women’s Sexuality

aloneHow Herpes affects Women’s Sexuality

Contributing Author: Stephanie

Many anthropologists, sociologists, and feminist theorists have explored the reasoning behind women’s sexuality, or rather the reasoning for the almost absence of women’s sexuality in today’s society.  Because women’s ability to have sexual desires based on their own personal desires, and not those of a man, is frequently discredited by mainstream society, women’s sexuality automatically becomes discredited as a whole.  The idea that sexuality is socially constructed based on things we learn from media, religion, schools, and other great institutions is a common theory.

Scholars in this area have also taken specific interest in the way that an STD diagnosis might affect how a person experiences sexuality based on the social construction and meaning on the diagnosis.  

Women’s sexuality is already invalidated, so an STD diagnosis simply invalidates it further based on her supposed deviation form the female sexual norm (having sexual desires, acting upon them, and being diagnosed with an STD because of those actions).

There are plenty of articles and scholarly works out there discussing this issue from an outside perspective, but I would like to share my personal experience of dealing with my new sexual identity after being diagnosed with herpes. I would like to emphasize that my perspective is very heterosexual, for lack of a better term, but I believe there will be plenty of parallels for those who identify elsewhere on the spectrum.

As I feel many young women believe when they first begin to experience their sexual selves, my sexuality was based solely on what I thought my male partner wanted.

Neither the media, school, nor my parents had ever taught me what sex or intimacy should be from a woman’s perspective.  It was always based on heterosexual male pleasure.

That being the case, when I learned I had herpes I felt I could no longer fulfill those sexual desires for someone else again because I was no longer desirable to men based on my new label as a “sexual deviant.”

I would like to break down my experience into stages that coincide with Dr. Kelly’s “Stages of Grief” in her book Live, Love, & Thrive with Herpes in hopes that many of you can connect to one, a few, or maybe even all of them as you begin to find sexual freedom after your diagnosis.

Stages to Sexual Freedom:

  1. Avoidance
    • Reference Stage One: Trauma and Denial, and Stage Two: Feelings of Rage from Dr. Kelly’s “Stages of Grief”
  2. Settling
    • Reference Stage Three: Profound and Prolonged Sadness
  3. Fear of Control
    • This stage triggers Stage Four of the “Stages of Grief,” Communicating and Reaching Out
  4. Freedom
    • Reference Stage Five: Surrender and Acceptance, and Stage Six: Empowerment

Avoidance (Trauma and Denial/Feelings of Rage)
When I was first diagnosed I had an irrational fear of spreading herpes to anyone I had any sexual contact with at all.  I say irrational, because as I learned more about the transmission of the virus, I discovered there are plenty of ways to reduce the likelihood of transmission as well as ways avoid the possibility of transmission completely.  

Because of my fear, during this stage I completely avoided any situation that could lead to sexual desire, including dating.  

Trauma and Denial, as Dr. Kelly emphasizes in her book, played a huge role in my avoidance.  The trauma of my diagnosis as well as my denial made disclosure impossible at the time.  I was not ready to disclose my situation with someone, and I knew I had to do so before becoming intimate again.

Settling (Profound and Prolonged Sadness)
Looking back on my journey, this stage brings me the most sadness, which directly relates to Dr. Kelly’s explanation of Stage Three in her book.

During the “Settling” stage my mind set was to “take what I can get.”  If a man said he loved me or that he found me irresistible despite my herpes I thought I had to reciprocate those feelings.  This is because I thought it was so incredibly rare for a man to feel these things about me after my diagnosis that it might be my only chance to find love or intimacy again.  

After going through this stage, my blunt advice is that this is NOT TRUE.  There will be many men or women that love you and find you undoubtedly sexy not despite your herpes, but almost by virtue of your herpes and the woman it has created.

Fear of Control (Communicating and Reaching Out)
This stage was by far the longest of the four because it took me so long time to understand my thought process during it.  

As women we already sometimes feel a lack of control with our sexuality and sexual decisions based on the submissiveness we learn from society.  After I began to seek intimacy again after settling for men I did not necessarily desire, I found it… but on someone else’s terms.

I believed that I no longer had the right to share my opinions about what I desired sexually because it was unfair to ask someone to put himself at risk for my pleasure.  What I learned after verbally expressing my thoughts to loved ones was that I have just as much control over how I experience sex and intimacy as I did before.  

I was afraid to take control of my sexuality again because that could mean putting someone else at risk.  What I didn’t realize is that if I had disclosed my diagnosis and shared the transmission risks with my partner I had done my part in keeping him safe.  

This is where Dr. Kelly’s stage on communicating and reaching out becomes so important.  Without my ability to do so, I may not have allowed control back into my intimate experiences.

Freedom (Surrender and Acceptance/Empowerment)
After effectively communicating and finding the ability to reach out and seek advice from friends and family, I am finally able to enjoy my sexuality and be at peace with my diagnosis.

I have accepted that I cannot have spontaneous sexual encounters without putting others at risk, and I now understand how that is not at all a curse; it is actually a true blessing.

I have accepted that I need to be at a more intimate level with someone before I share my sexuality with them in order to feel comfortable and in control of the situation.  Once again, this has proved to be a huge blessing in my life.

Finally, I have accepted that my herpes diagnosis has not hindered or tainted my sexuality in any way, but rather it has forced me to embrace every piece of my self in order to find true intimacy with another person.

I encourage you all, as I always do, to find the silver lining in situations where you feel that your herpes might have given you the short end of the stick.  I can guarantee that once you start searching, you will find all the amazing ways that herpes has allowed you to grow as a woman in every way, including your sexual being.      

MPWH: The New Tinder-like Herpes Dating App

Meeting People with HerpesMPWH: The New Herpes Dating App

By Contributing Author: Stephanie

Have you heard the news? Apparently there is a new herpes dating app that works somewhat like tinder.  I would like to use this blog to start the discussion on what apps like this mean for our community.

As I’m sure many of you are aware of, online dating and dating apps have become increasingly popular over the last decade.  Different sites like Positive Singles and Herpes Singles  are designed specifically for people seeking the online dating experience who have been diagnosed with herpes or other chronic STDs.  The new app, MPWH, stands for Meeting People with Herpes.  Although this runs as a website, there is also an app free for downloading on iOS and Android systems. I have never used online dating apps, or herpes specific dating apps, but I have given the concept a lot of thought.  I am going to lay out the pros and cons of using herpes dating apps and websites to the best of my ability, but I would like to hear from you all about your own experience with the world of online dating with herpes!

Pros:

I personally believe that the herpes dating websites have a lot to offer, especially for newly diagnosed individuals.  In my experience, it was extremely scary to start dating again after my diagnosis.  I was constantly worried about how and when I would have “the talk.”  For some reason rejection got a lot harder when it had to do with my sexual health status. Being able to date without worrying about “the talk” would have made the traumatic shift in the perception of my love life a bit easier.

I also think that an app like MPWH could be beneficial just for the sake of what I will call sexual sanity.  Just because we have been diagnosed with an STD does not mean that we do not have the right to enjoy casual sex if that is what we desire.  These websites could be a great place to meet someone to have a casual dating relationship with, without having to worry about transmitting the virus.  So long as the person you meet has the same type of HSV as you, and they do not have any other STDs, these websites give you access to have freedom and safety in casual sex.

One last pro is the way that these apps and websites show the prevalence of genital herpes in the world.  A herpes diagnosis can make us feel completely alone and unwanted if we allow the virus to make us feel like a victim.  These websites show the surprising amount of people who are living with the same virus as us, and that can be extremely comforting in times of loneliness!

Cons:

The first con that came to mind when I began to think critically about these websites and apps is the possibility of transmitting different types of the herpes virus back and forth, or even contracting another STD.  Many sites are herpes specific, but sites like Positive Single target anyone with any STD.  I urge you all to be smart when using these apps and websites for the sake of your own health and other’s health.

Although I agree that dating within the herpes community can be a great start to getting back out there after a diagnosis, I also argue that this can be limiting to a person’s dating life.  Sometimes I wonder if only dating other people with herpes can hold us back from seeing our true potential as an intimate partner.  It is inevitable that some people will not be accepting of our diagnosis, but it is also inevitable that some people will!  I think it is great to challenge ourselves to move outside of the herpes community to find love and support.  I think you will surprised with what you find!

Now I would like to hear thoughts and opinions from you all on the pros and cons of: 1) herpes dating websites and apps, and 2) only dating within the herpes community.  Feel free to ask me, Dr. Kelly, and each other questions.  I am looking forward to hearing about all the different experiences each of you have had!

 

About Stephanie

Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie.  I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old.  Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University.  I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis.  With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs.  I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.

Overcoming Stigma and Finding your Unique Path

Overcoming Stigma and Finding your Unique Path

By Contributing Author Stephanie

I watched this video quite a few months ago and for a long time did not understand my connection to Eleanor Longden or her struggle with mental health.  After much contemplation I began to understand my ability to empathize with her and be overwhelmingly inspired by her journey.  Although her experience with schizophrenia is vastly different than my own experience with herpes, the fact of the matter is we both had to overcome societal stigma and as well personal stigma against our conditions.

To me, the most inspirational part of Eleanor’s story is her ability to not only overcome that stigma but to do so in a way that defied the norms of medicine and treatment for her condition.  By overcoming the stigma associated with schizophrenia she was able to work with her symptoms and hardships in order to create a meaningful interaction with her voices.  What she teaches any of us going through the process of overcoming stigma to promote healing is that doing so will allow you to experience your stigmatized identity in a way that is actually beneficial. For those of us dealing with a new herpes diagnosis, or the trauma that comes along with an outbreak after years of living with the virus, it is important to interact with our condition and symptoms in a compassionate way.  My ability, and i’m sure many of yours, to understand Eleanor’s hardships is a perfect example of one way herpes has been beneficial in my life.  Being able to feel true compassion and empathize for others in seemingly completely different situations than your own is a true gift that I may not have today without my diagnosis.

I hope you all find as much inspiration in Eleanor’s story and her ability to overcome stigma associated with her voices as I have; and I hope it inspires you all to find your unique path to health and happiness in your acceptance of your diagnosis.  

 

About Stephanie

Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie.  I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old.  Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University.  I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis.  With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs.  I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.

You’re Invited: Share your Story of being Diagnosed and Living with Herpes

Share your Story of being Diagnosed and Living with Herpes

By Contributing Author Stephanie

Living with herpesAs many of you know from reading my short bio, I am working on earning my MA in Sociology. I was diagnosed with herpes right around the time that I was accepted into my program and made the decision to go to graduate school. As I was brainstorming ideas for my thesis, my own experience as a woman living with herpes sparked my topic. I am now in the midst of exploring the connection between social stigma and the disclosure process. I am determined to understand the role that stigma plays in the ability, or inability, to give “the talk.” I also want to know how the social stigma of herpes affects simple dynamics of “the talk.” By understanding the relationship between stigma and the disclosure process a bit more clearly, I hope to shed light on the way that stigma can affect transmission rates. If we can get people to feel more comfortable talking about their sexual health, there is a possibility that STD transmission rates could drop. Of course this assumption would need to be explored further than my own research in order to make this claim, but one thing we do know is that simply knowing you have an STD decreases the chance of passing it on to your partner.

Now that you have learned a little bit about my thesis and the agenda of it, I would like to invite any and all of you to be a part of the process. My methods for data collection include individual, qualitative interviews with people who have been diagnosed with genital herpes (type 1 or type 2) and wish to share their experience with me. The interviews will give you a chance to share your story, including triumphs and struggles with “the talk.” By talking with as many people in the herpes community as possible, I am hoping to paint a representative and accurate picture of the experience of living with herpes.

If you are interested in sharing your story with me, I would greatly appreciate your participation and ask that you contact me with any questions and concerns. The research is completely confidential, meaning there will be no names mentioned in the final report. I will be the only one with access to names of the participants, and measures like keeping files on a locked computer and using numeric identifiers and pseudonyms will be taken to protect your identity. If you wish to contact me about participating in the study you can reach me at: stephanienwilson@yahoo.com. I hope to hear from you all, and look forward to shedding light on the struggle associated with a genital herpes diagnosis through my thesis.

About Stephanie

Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie.  I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old.  Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University.  I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis.  With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs.  I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.

Herpes Diagnosis: The One Secret To Discovering Love

Herpes Diagnosis: The One Secret To Discovering Love

 

 

Hope After A Herpes Diagnosis- A Day Of Celebration
I awoke this morning at 6:30AM to the sun piercing through the leaves of our apple tree and the birds chirping to a song all their own. While my husband and little girl lie sleeping, I quietly slipped out of bed to ponder life and sit in silence on my hot pink meditation cushion. This day already felt different. Six years ago, I married my best friend and soul mate.

 

My heart was bursting with gratitude for the life that I am living. I have so many things to be grateful for and in the next 48 hours, I will raise up my hands, dance, sing and give thanks for my husband Richard and our beautiful little girl, Madeline.

 

 

Hopes Shattered By A Herpes Diagnosis 

DSC_0064 (1)Over the past several years, I have had the unique opportunity to coach women with herpes. Who would have ever thought that this would be my niche. I mean REALLY…who would ever sign up to be in the limelight as the doctor with herpes who decided to share her story as a vehicle of hope and support for other women?

The truth is, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Has it been a challenging journey? Yes! But what has made it challenging, is not the full blown exposure of everyone knowing that I have herpes; rather, it has been the heartache of realizing how many women out there are suffering. Their hearts and hopes shattered by their herpes diagnosis. Just last week I was working with a woman who shared with me that all she really wanted in life was to feel loved again. She felt that after her diagnosis, she could no longer give and receive love as she had done before. Her whole self concept was being challenged! As I sat with her, I felt her pain as if it were my own and yet I knew the love that was possible for her IF, she was willing and able to move through her grief.

You see, there are two types of pain that we women with herpes must learn to deal with.

1. The Physical Pain of herpes symptoms
2. The Emotional Pain associated with the stigma and our threatened self concept, self worth and self esteem.

While the physical pain is a whole conversation in and of itself (there are several strategies from antivirals to natural remedies), the Emotional Pain can often be the number one thing that barricades us into a world of isolation, shame and fear. What I have learned from the women I have worked with and those I have read about is that the difference between those who discover love again and those that don’t is one and only one thing. What might this ONE Secret ingredient be? HOPE Close your eyes and feel into the love that you deserve and know that there is someone out there who will love and support you just the way you are. You must know that you are Loveable Capable A True Catch Even if all hope seems lost right now, I promise you that it doesn’t have to be. You get to choose the thoughts that you tell yourself. If you truly desire a loving partnership after your herpes diagnosis, you must first start by unconditionally loving yourself. You are worth the love that you so desire AND that love is just waiting to dive into your heart. LOVE THYSELF How?

Write a love letter to yourself Take yourself out to dinner Make a collage with the visual reminders of all the things you love about yourself and your life If I can find love…so can YOU. Just BELIEVE! I am no different than you. If I can find love…so can you. Use your imagination in the beginning of imagining the man of your dreams and focus on that NOT on NOT having that yet. I send you my blessings and faith that I have in you to overcome this herpes diagnosis. Please share your story and allow the women of Pink Tent™ to support you.

 

Shame Of Herpes: Impact On A Woman’s Body Image

Shame Of Herpes: Impact On A Woman’s Body Image

Body Image of Woman With HerpesA woman’s self concept is so often tied to her looks. While on the outside she might be stunning, the shame of herpes leaves her feeling broken and undesirable. The shame of herpes is devastating to a woman’s sense of self worth and beauty. After a diagnosis of herpes, it is not uncommon for a woman to go through long periods of depression and isolation. Feeling broken and like damaged goods, women are convinced that they are now like lepers of the past. While many women learn to overcome this initial shock and body distortion, many women are never able to feel their beauty and access their sexual power again. If you are one of those women…. This article is for YOU!

In a society that values material possessions and model like looks, it can be challenging to develop a strong and healthy self esteem. What would our world look like if we upheld women on a pedestal for their inner beauty as much as their outer beauty? As I sat down this morning to do my daily practice, I read a prayer that spoke directly to my heart and soul. I immediately knew that I had to share this with my Pink Tent™ community of Women Supporting Women With Herpes. So, here it is…from the Daily Word

Temple: I bless my body temple

“Each day I take time to bless my body temple and affirm my strength, health, beauty, and vitality….As I awaken to the truth of my body’s holiness, I become aware of practices and habits I want to add or change to support my ever-increasing health and strength. Changes in food, activities, or attitude may be in order” (Daily Word, A Unity Publication March 2015).

No matter what your spiritual background is, I am confident that if each and every woman with herpes began to affirm this blessing daily, their shame of herpes would begin to melt away. Our bodies are our temples. Please don’t allow herpes to rob you of the right to feel safe and loved beyond measure in your own skin. Your body should be a refuge of self expression and beauty. No body is perfect, and yet women with herpes often begin to feel angry towards their own bodies. The stigma of herpes leaves them feeling dirty and shameful. We become our worst enemies. We allow herpes to be the ever impending intruder of our bodies. Instead of acting with kindness and love, we begin to act with self sabotaging behavior like overeating, drinking or substance abuse. As we distance ourselves and disconnect, we become fragmented and forget who we really are. We forget our true gifts and talents. Instead of being a woman who lives with herpes, we allow herpes to run the show. This misery is truly self imposed. I encourage you to take time each day to love and nurture your body and affirm to yourself… I bless my body temple.

Discovering unconditional self love is truly the best gift you can give yourself. Stop being a victim to herpes and affirm that you are NOT your herpes. You are a beautiful…from the inside out and you are loved beyond measure. Start treating your body with the love and respect it deserves and watch the miracles unfold in your life.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Live Love and Thrive with Herpes        

Healthy Eating This Holiday Season- Avoiding an Outbreak

 

 

Healthy Eating This Holiday Season- Avoiding an Outbreak

Healthy Eating During The Holidays: Kale ChipsNew Years Eve might be right around the corner, but now is NOT the time to make your declarations for a new year and a new you. The trick to healthy eating and staying slim this holiday season is to enjoy things in moderation. We can talk about making major changes in your diet after the new year, but for now, enjoy the festivities and the specialty food and drinks that come with it.

As we prepare our bodies for the cold of winter, our taste buds begin to shift to sugar and spice and everything nice. Stop feeling guilty about that! This isn’t a time to count calories or walk a rigid dietary tightrope. This sort of withdraw will probably lead you down the path of binging instead. This is about nurturing yourself and allowing yourself to indulge in some the sweetness that the holidays bring. If you think about it, the reason why we crave fatty, sugary things is that our body naturally wants to stay warm and the change of foods that we eat enable us to shift with the seasons. There is a rhythm to nature and it is time that we begin to honor that rhythm.

If you truly want to honor that rhythm, you must first find your own rhythm  and pulse. This requires us to connect with the inner most parts of ourselves, creating a soul connection. Those of us who have a tough time getting our hands out of the cookie jar are often overeating because of an underlying stress that has not been resolved. The quick rush of sugar gives us an endorphin like high, but the downside of the slope will send us dozing off on the couch. Then, as our blood sugars drop below normal, we reach for a double espresso or another cookie to pull us through the day. If this is you, you need to take the time to be with your thoughts, so that you don’t just run your body into the ground and get sick. We are here for you, just raise your hand and speak up.

Here are a few healthy eating tips that can truly help you to get through the holidays without having to drop all of your favorite goodies off the list.

1. Drink at least 50% of your body weight in ounces every day. This will help to hydrate your body and to cleanse some of the toxins in your food and beverages.

2. Start your day with a cup of hot water, lemon, and honey. This will stimulate your liver to detoxify your body and will provide you with some extra vitamin C to keep your immune system up to par.

3. Eat at least one green vegetable a day. Kale, swiss chard, broccoli,and brussel sprouts are all excellent choices. Consider making some kale chips to replace your cravings for potato chips. Our three year old loves kale chips! Experiment with olive oil and coconut oil or adding cajun spices, onion powder or smoked paprika.

4. Before going to your next holiday party, be sure to eat something healthy ahead of time. This will decrease your chances of over indulging.

5. Keep a stash of healthy snacks around (carrot sticks, apple slices, seaweed) have some in your car, in your purse and at work. (If you have herpes, do not overdue it on nuts and seeds because they can lead to outbreaks)

6. Drink alcohol and caffeine in moderation: both caffeine and alcohol are high in arginine, which is a known trigger for herpes. As a preventative during the holidays, you might want to start supplementing with L-Lysine. This will help to counteract the arginine in these foods.

7. End your day with an attitude of GRATITUDE. Review all of the things that you are happy and grateful for in your life.

If you need some support, please jump in the Forum and introduce yourself. We would love to hear from you. The stress of the holiday season can trigger an outbreak, so allow us to support you and keep your stress levels to a minimum.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Amazon Best selling author of Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide for Women    

Is Dating With Herpes Ruining Your Sex Life?

Is Dating With Herpes Ruining Your Sex Life? 

For many people, the answer to this question is a resounding, YES! While this is true for many, it does not have to be for you. Just last week I was working with a woman who was feeling the aftershocks of Valentine’s Day. Her chest pains were so bad that it sent her to the emergency room. What did they find? Nothing, nada, and yet she felt like her heart was going to explode and her herpes outbreak were worse than ever. Once I applauded her for seeking medical attention, for she was very embarrassed for having “over reacted,” I asked her if Valentine’s Day had anything to do with her physical pain.

Why, “of course!” she said. It was the anniversary of the betrayal of her ex husband and his passing “the gift” onto her. After she shared her story with me, I asked her if she felt like her body was betraying her and she said, “Yes!”. Long story short, we began to work with her feelings of betrayal and the need for her to feel worthy of love for her physical and emotional bodies to heal.

Moral of the story? Our emotions can directly affect our outbreaks and what we tell ourselves is important in the healing process. Want to attract your soulmate? The first step is to love yourself unconditionally and begin to feel worthy of love. Repeat after me… I am worthy of love! Practice saying this several times a day and watch how you will become a magnet for love and healing.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly

www.PinkTent.com

Is Herpes Destroying Your Happiness?


pie chartAfter we put our baby down for bed last night, my husband and I decided to watch the documentary, 
Happy, which had just arrived from Netflix. I must say, that after watching it I felt a tremendous amount of gratitude and love in my life.

Was I happy in life? Absolutely!

While I have always been a happy woman, there have been many times in my life where happiness was difficult to access. My diagnosis of herpes was certainly one of those times. What struck me most about this film was that the research indicated that only 10% of our happiness is related to our circumstances. This was absolutely shocking!  After many years of research, it was discovered that 50% of happiness is genetic, 10% is Circumstantial (income, social status, where you live, age, life experiences) and 40% is due to Intentional Activity (what we choose to do with our lives).

There was a woman who was interviewed, who had survived a horrendous accident where she was run over by a truck. The once pageant queen mother survived, but at the cost of a very disfigured face. The trauma of the event brought back repressed memories of the sexual abuse she had endured as a child. While this women contemplated ending her life at that time, she was able to overcome her challenges and become an amazingly happy woman. She now says that she lives with more joy and gratitude than ever before.

So, when you are down and out over herpes and its implications, know that you have the option to overcome this challenge and become a happier, healthier and more vibrant person than you were before. You can choose to embrace relationships with a greater level of intimacy and connection than ever before. Do not allow herpes to destroy your happiness and remember, your circumstances only amount to 10% of your access to happiness. You have the courage and capacity to live and love again. Take hold of the other 40% factor that determines happiness….Intentional Activity. Research has shown that exercise, spending time with friends and giving back to society are things you do have control over and they are directly related to happiness.

If you want to reclaim your happiness, choose self love, friendship, and gratitude. You can be happy again!

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly

PS. You can check out the full feature length documentary of Happy here

 

Want more happiness? Get coached with Dr Kelly!

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Do Doctors Misdiagnose Herpes?

Q: Do doctors misdiagnose herpes?

shutterstock-misdiagnosisA: Yes. It wasn’t until the 1940s that herpes was found to be an actual virus. Then, 1960’s research started to isolate the virus into two types that we know today: HSV-1 and HSV-2. Although it is said that the virus was misdiagnosed all the way through the 1970s, the truth is, it’s still being misdiagnosed.

It used to be that doctors would diagnose herpes based on classic presentations of painful, itching blisters. This “classic presentation” is now debunked due to the alarming number of people who never elicit such classic symptoms.

Type-specific blood testing, which enables us to differentiate between HSV-1 and HSV-2, was not available until more recent years. The older tests could only reveal a positive or negative result for the herpes virus.

This was extremely limiting in regards to helping patients determine their level of risk and how they might have acquired the infection. Doctors still misdiagnose herpes all the time.

Herpes has been called the great masquerader because it can look like so many different things. We need to get doctors on board with proper diagnosis of herpes so that we as patients can be empowered, educated individuals.