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Facebook Live Full Moon Forgiveness Ceremony

Forgiveness: Forgiving The Unforgiven

What should you do when the PAST calls?

Hang UP!

It has nothing for you!~Sandra Yancey: Founder E-Women Network

My journey of forgiveness

My husband, Richard, and I spent this past weekend cleaning out our safe and file cabinets. I must admit that I have been dreading this!
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I have been in business for myself since 2004 and have kept ALL of my receipts! Yep…that’s right! It’s 2018 now and my file cabinets were bursting at the seams!
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In addition to business receipts, I’m a sucker for personal memorabilia!

So, as Richard fired up the chiminea in the back yard, I started purging, while he proceeded to do the burning.

It snowed ashes in our back yard, while the gentle snow kept on falling!

In the last hours of burning with my husbands hair filled with snow and ashes, I came across a more recent letter from the Delaware Department of Justice.

It was the final correspondence that finalized the pardon of the teacher who sexually abused me from about age 12-18 years old.

In the Spring of 2017 (exactly 1 year prior to the pardon), I was notified by the Victim Services Department from the Department of Justice, that my former teacher was requesting a pardon for the Sexual Abuse felonies he committed decades ago.

Bare in mind that after I came forward at the age of 23 years old, 3 other women did too.

Unfortunately, my case was the only one that had enough evidence for conviction.
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This case went to the supreme court and challenged and extended Delaware’s laws around the statue of limitations.

In the spring of 2017, I was offered the opportunity to attend the public hearing or write a “victim statement” to be read on my behalf.

Even the term “victim” triggered me and a whole ocean of feelings and turmoil arose again for me to heal, even though I thought I was done with healing. (more on that another time)

I did end up writing that statement in the Spring of 2017, so that my story still had a voice.

AND

I want YOU to have a voice too!

Here is why this is important to you.

If the PAST calls…HANG the #$@! up! It has NOTHING for you!

What I mean is that that letter has no business being in my life.

I guess I’ve kept it for the last 6 months because when I would read it, I would get fired up, angry and passionate about taking a stand for women and helping them to find their voices.

Of course it made me ill to even look at the envelope, but I thought I needed it to keep my passion strong for helping women rise in their power.

It has taken me a few days of hanging out in my pj’s, processing my emotions and finally talking to my sister and dear friend today to realize that…

​​​​​​​there is NOTHING GOOD coming out of the ANGER I have carried towards the pardoning of this man and the governor who granted the pardon, despite the board of directors voting in my favor.

So, after a powerful forgiveness exercise today, out in nature, with the sun on my face and God granting me GRACE…

I released and forgave these men.

For ME and YOU…I choose PEACE…

I no longer need the anger to fuel my flame!

So, I have decided to choose forgiveness and I’ll  burn that letter too, but I need your help.

I truly believe that we must all Forgive if we are meant to live our BEST lives.

So, it’s time for me to burn this letter, and finally heal from my past.
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​​​​​​This is where you come in.

Who do you need to forgive?
What do you need to let go of?
What emotions or memories keep you held in bondage?

If not NOW then WHEN?

It’s our time ladies!

This is why I am cordially inviting you to join me on the

Full Moon Forgiveness Fire Ceremony

#forgiveandlive

Where: Facebook Live: Register Here
Wednesday October 24th 5PM MST

where I will burn this letter on Facebook Live and you too will burn your letter and finally release it back to where it came from.

My story does NOT define me and neither does YOURS.

You are no longer ALONE and we as sisters will gather in sisterhood and burn up our PAST.

All you need to do is to write a letter to someone you need to forgive.  Maybe it’s yourself!

We will allow these letters of forgiveness or letters of grief or whatever you no longer need from your past to return to where they came from.

You have less than 1 week to find your letter or write one, so that you can stand in your power and be set free!

For the rise of YOU
​​​​​​​For the rise of ME
For the rise of SHE~Rebecca Campbell: Light Is The New Black

We are on this journey together dear sisters! I am a stand for you!

Let’s HANG up the calls from the PAST and set ourselves FREE!

I am honored to be on this journey with you

Feel free to share with us in the comments below who or what you will be releasing!

Please forward this to your friends and let’s rise sisters!

The healing power of community is exponential.

Access Peace and Power like never before!

You ARE FREE!

#forgiveandlive

 

https://www.facebook.com/events/348840322518465/

 

Herpes Diet: Managing Herpes Symptoms With Fall Veggies

Herpes SymptomsHerpes Diet: Managing Herpes Symptoms With Fall Veggies
By Contributing Author Stephanie

As those of us who have read Dr. Kelly’s Book Live, Love & Thrive with Herpes know, diet can have a huge affect on how our bodies experience the herpes virus.  Whether it’s the balance between lysine and arginine in our bodies, or simply eating well to support our immunity, it is important to actively support our bodies through our diet. This is a key to managing our herpes symptoms.  In this blog, I will go over some of the fall vegetables you can eat to support your body in suppressing future herpes outbreaks.  I strongly suggest referring back to Dr. Kelly’s previous blog on lysine and arginine for reference, as it explains how and why lysine is helpful in preventing outbreaks and arginine can be a trigger for outbreaks.

Root vegetables and squash are common fall vegetables that are delicious and nutritious for our bodies! Most vegetables have fairly high amounts of lysine.  Did you know that wheat and other grains contain high levels of arginine? This is why it is not uncommon for people diagnosed with herpes to go gluten free. If we can replace our grains  (which contain high levels of arginine) with vegetables high in complex carbs, our bodies will likely thank us. Of course this is a personal choice, but if you suffer from constant outbreaks, you can always test out this method to see if it helps you!

Some fall vegetables I love that are either higher in lysine than arginine or about equal in amounts of the two according to the sources I have researched are: beets, turnips, select squashes, and potatoes (white and sweet).

A great way to get the most out of these delicious fall foods is to pair them with foods we know are very high in lysine. One amazing recipe that comes to mind is roasted beets with goat cheese.  If you have never tried roasted red beets with goat cheese, I suggest you do so soon. If your recipe calls for nuts, you should omit them, since nuts are another known herpes trigger.

Another great and super easy recipe is roasted acorn squash filled with yogurt. Yogurts containing probiotics in the form of live cultures can also help boost our immunity to better manage herpes symptoms (assuming you are not dairy free).  If this is the case, there are dairy free yogurts made with coconut milk. High levels of probiotics and lysine in this meal, or dessert, make it an excellent and healthy choice for the season.  Since sugar affects the body in a way that prevents us from fighting off viruses, it is important to minimize our intake of sugar to prevent future outbreaks.  This is one of many delicious squash recipes that can easily double as a sweet dessert.

One last recipe that incorporates fall veggies with other foods containing high amounts of lysine is this Italian fagioli soup recipe.  This recipe is great for those cold and busy months and is packed with root veggies and squash.  The ground turkey is a great addition, as turkey is one meat in particular that is very high amounts in lysine.  You will even get some lysine from the parmesan cheese on top! I urge you all to take a look at some of the different recipes you can try to incorporate some of the seasonal vegetables into your diet throughout these colder months.

Keeping veggies in our diet consistently is so important for our health, regardless of living with herpes or not; but of course if we can decrease our herpes symptoms at the same time, why wouldn’t we do it?

book_LiveLove300Make sure to check out Dr. Kelly’s book to learn more about how diet and supplements can support your body as you learn to navigate your herpes symptoms!  

Misdiagnosis of Herpes Symptoms In Women

Did you know that herpes symptoms in women can be confused with many common conditions? 85% of people with herpes don’t know they have it! Common symptoms include blisters, sores, itchy areas, tingling, burning, painful urination, skin fissures and cracks, skin ulcers, swollen lymph nodes, fatigue, depression, pain down the leg, flu like symptoms, body aches and watery vaginal discharge; but how do you know if it is herpes? I have worked with women who were misdiagnosed with several other ailments before they were ever PROPERLY diagnosed with herpes.

Why does this happen?

Herpes is truly the Great Masquerader. Doctors and patients alike misdiagnose herpes all the time. Here is a chart of what women with herpes think they have and what men with herpes think they have.

What Women With Herpes Think They Have What Men With Herpes Think They Have
Yeast Infection Folliculitis
Urinary Tract Infection Jock Itch
Menstrual Complaints Normal Itch
Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids
Heat Rash Zipper Burn
Urethral Syndrome Insect or Spider Bite
Allergy to condoms, spermicides, sperm, elastic/pantyhose Allergies to condoms
Irritation from bike seat, shaving, douching Irritation from bike seat, tight jeans, sexual intercourse
As you can see, it would be very easy to misdiagnosis herpes in women AND men. So, if you have any or many of these symptoms, especially if they are reoccurring, I suggest that you seek medical advice. You have to take control of your health and sometimes it means challenging your doctor’s diagnosis. There have been times when I have encouraged women to demand a herpes blood test. Not knowing can drive you crazy! A simple blood test paired with a thorough exam can determine your herpes status. You can find a herpes testing center near you.  I also recommend getting screened for other STI’s.
If you end up testing positive for herpes, Pink Tent (TM) is here it support you. We are committed to educate, empower and inspire women with herpes to live, love and thrive. If you reside in the Boulder/Denver area, check our www.ColoradoHFriends.com. We host monthly discussion groups, social events and women’s brunches. Take a stand for your health and get tested!
Live. Love. Thrive.

 

Overcoming Herpes Depression with Passion

Herpes depression is a real thing for many women. It can be overwhelming and leave women feeling all alone.

It’s not that you don’t have enough Zoloft running through your veins, it’s just that you are believing your thoughts about what it means to have herpes.

Most of you are thinking that…

No one will ever love me OR

My symptoms will NEVER get under control OR

People are going to think of me differently.

While these are all common thoughts, they do not need to be your TRUTH.

The truth is that you CAN overcome these thoughts about this diagnosis and rediscover hope, healing, and happiness.

If you are tired of feeling depressed…here is what you need to do.

You need to get out of your head and back into your heart!

While you probably haven’t felt like doing the things you love to do and are passionate about….I’m here to kick your butt and tell you that it is time to return to your passions, even if it is just for 30 minutes.

Here is a quick video from me to you from the beautiful mountains of Colorado. I wanted to send it to you yesterday, but I guess it was meant to happen today.

You know why? I just found out that Warren Miller, a ski movie icon, at 93 years old died today. He created a whole industry and lifestyle around his number one passion, skiing. I was introduced to him and his ski movies at the age of 8. Here is a video that I dedicate to him. May you rediscover your passions and not give up on happiness!

MPWH: The New Tinder-like Herpes Dating App

Meeting People with HerpesMPWH: The New Herpes Dating App

By Contributing Author: Stephanie

Have you heard the news? Apparently there is a new herpes dating app that works somewhat like tinder.  I would like to use this blog to start the discussion on what apps like this mean for our community.

As I’m sure many of you are aware of, online dating and dating apps have become increasingly popular over the last decade.  Different sites like Positive Singles and Herpes Singles  are designed specifically for people seeking the online dating experience who have been diagnosed with herpes or other chronic STDs.  The new app, MPWH, stands for Meeting People with Herpes.  Although this runs as a website, there is also an app free for downloading on iOS and Android systems. I have never used online dating apps, or herpes specific dating apps, but I have given the concept a lot of thought.  I am going to lay out the pros and cons of using herpes dating apps and websites to the best of my ability, but I would like to hear from you all about your own experience with the world of online dating with herpes!

Pros:

I personally believe that the herpes dating websites have a lot to offer, especially for newly diagnosed individuals.  In my experience, it was extremely scary to start dating again after my diagnosis.  I was constantly worried about how and when I would have “the talk.”  For some reason rejection got a lot harder when it had to do with my sexual health status. Being able to date without worrying about “the talk” would have made the traumatic shift in the perception of my love life a bit easier.

I also think that an app like MPWH could be beneficial just for the sake of what I will call sexual sanity.  Just because we have been diagnosed with an STD does not mean that we do not have the right to enjoy casual sex if that is what we desire.  These websites could be a great place to meet someone to have a casual dating relationship with, without having to worry about transmitting the virus.  So long as the person you meet has the same type of HSV as you, and they do not have any other STDs, these websites give you access to have freedom and safety in casual sex.

One last pro is the way that these apps and websites show the prevalence of genital herpes in the world.  A herpes diagnosis can make us feel completely alone and unwanted if we allow the virus to make us feel like a victim.  These websites show the surprising amount of people who are living with the same virus as us, and that can be extremely comforting in times of loneliness!

Cons:

The first con that came to mind when I began to think critically about these websites and apps is the possibility of transmitting different types of the herpes virus back and forth, or even contracting another STD.  Many sites are herpes specific, but sites like Positive Single target anyone with any STD.  I urge you all to be smart when using these apps and websites for the sake of your own health and other’s health.

Although I agree that dating within the herpes community can be a great start to getting back out there after a diagnosis, I also argue that this can be limiting to a person’s dating life.  Sometimes I wonder if only dating other people with herpes can hold us back from seeing our true potential as an intimate partner.  It is inevitable that some people will not be accepting of our diagnosis, but it is also inevitable that some people will!  I think it is great to challenge ourselves to move outside of the herpes community to find love and support.  I think you will surprised with what you find!

Now I would like to hear thoughts and opinions from you all on the pros and cons of: 1) herpes dating websites and apps, and 2) only dating within the herpes community.  Feel free to ask me, Dr. Kelly, and each other questions.  I am looking forward to hearing about all the different experiences each of you have had!

 

About Stephanie

Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie.  I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old.  Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University.  I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis.  With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs.  I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.

Practicing Self-Love

file1551245784283Practicing Self-Love

By Contributing Author Stephanie

As I was beginning to write this blog, I started with looking for articles about self-love. There are so many articles out there telling us how to love ourselves and how to practice as much patience with ourselves as we do with others. Although these are all beautiful and inspiring articles I found that the majority was missing one thing.  What do we do when we feel completely unable to love the person we are today, right at this moment?

This is something I have struggled with my whole life, but when I was diagnosed with herpes it became even more difficult.  As women we are constantly surrounded by messages and images telling us what beautiful is, what the ideal woman acts like, and what our health says about our character as women.  It can be extremely difficult to push those messages aside in order to learn to really love yourself, but I would like to share with you all how I have been able to start to do just that in order to accept myself exactly the way that I am. Over the last year I have made it a priority to really get to know myself.  By that I mean I wanted to know what makes me feel happy, sad, excited, anxious, and what things were really most important to me in my life.  Through my efforts this year I have been able to understand what triggers my emotions, what I really value in my life, and many other things I would have never guessed were a part of who I am a year ago.  

Interestingly enough, understanding myself in these ways has helped me to fall in love with the person that I am. When reflecting on this experience, I like to compare it to falling in love with another person.  As we get to know someone, either intimately or as a friend, we start to accept that person for everything he or she is as well as everything he or she is not.  As we accept a person for all he or she has to offer we can start to really love that person unconditionally.  I believe this is what has happened in my relationship with myself over the last year.  By allowing myself to get to know me I have been able to accept myself for everything that I am, and that has given me the ability to love myself unconditionally, herpes and all. I challenge you all to get to know yourselves on the same intimate level you might imagine you would get to know your life partner on.

If you are struggling with accepting yourself as a woman diagnosed with herpes, understanding deeper traits about yourself will allow you to put less emphasis on such a small aspect of your health and life.  Remember that others will only judge you as much as you judge yourself.   I hope what I have discovered will help you all as you begin the same journey that I started a year ago.  Be your biggest fan, and the journey towards unconditional self-love will be easy.    

Prepare for Cold Season and Avoid Herpes Outbreaks

Avoid Herpes OutbreaksPrepare for Cold Season and Avoid Herpes Outbreaks
By Contributing Author Stephanie

As we enter into the beautiful, yet dangerously contagious, fall season I usually have one thing on my mind: avoiding colds.  After being diagnosed with herpes, this concern weighs on my mind even more.  As most of us know, the herpes virus shows up when our immune system has been compromised.  There can be many causes for this including stress, another virus like the common cold or the flu, or perhaps even lack of sleep.

As my body was still trying to build up immunity to the herpes virus, colds had a substantial effect on my experience with outbreaks.  For the first year of my diagnosis, every time I caught a small cold, an outbreak would follow days after the cold arrived.  Because of this, I have found that it is extremely important for me to take care of myself and keep my immune system strong in order to avoid herpes outbreaks. This blog post will go over some simple, yet key points on how to boost your immune system during the cold season in order to avoid herpes outbreaks. The first step you can take to avoid herpes outbreaks by boosting your immune system is take Omega-3s on a daily basis.

In Dr. Kelly’s book, Live, Love, & Thrive with Herpes, she suggests 2000 mg or more a day. Omega-3s are a great way to boost your immune system as well as balance your hormones, and support cardiovascular and brain health. Zinc Chelate is another easy supplement to use to boost your immunity. Dr. Kelly’s book suggests 50 mg a day.  Not only will taking Zinc on a daily basis support a strong immune system, but it will also promote skin health and tissue repair: two benefits that are amazing for herpes outbreaks. Vitamin D3 is also a great supplement to build immunity.  The suggested dose listed in Dr. Kelly’s book is 5000 IU’s a day.

Women are often deficient in Vitamin D3 and new research is showing that it acts as a hormone, signaling cells to boost immunity. If you are osteoporotic, then D3 is required for you to be able to properly absorb your calcium supplements. Probiotics are another supplement to add to your regimen or diet, not only during cold season, but all the time.  Probiotics help the “good bacteria” in your body to thrive so that they can fight off the “bad bacteria.” You may be able to get all the probiotics you need from your diet.  A few of the foods known to be rich in probiotics are yogurt, sauerkraut, kefir, and kimchi.

One last supplement you should always take to support your health and immune system is a multivitamin.  In Live, Love, & Thrive with Herpes, Dr. Kelly suggests a multivitamin that has at least 750 mg of calcium and 450 mg of magnesium. If you are already taking each of these supplements daily, congratulations!  If you are not, now would be the perfect time to start. Cold season is among us, and supporting our immune systems is extremely important to avoid herpes outbreaks as well as for our overall health and happiness.  I hope these suggestions find you well and that you all have a happy and healthy cold season.

You’re Invited: Share your Story of being Diagnosed and Living with Herpes

Share your Story of being Diagnosed and Living with Herpes

By Contributing Author Stephanie

Living with herpesAs many of you know from reading my short bio, I am working on earning my MA in Sociology. I was diagnosed with herpes right around the time that I was accepted into my program and made the decision to go to graduate school. As I was brainstorming ideas for my thesis, my own experience as a woman living with herpes sparked my topic. I am now in the midst of exploring the connection between social stigma and the disclosure process. I am determined to understand the role that stigma plays in the ability, or inability, to give “the talk.” I also want to know how the social stigma of herpes affects simple dynamics of “the talk.” By understanding the relationship between stigma and the disclosure process a bit more clearly, I hope to shed light on the way that stigma can affect transmission rates. If we can get people to feel more comfortable talking about their sexual health, there is a possibility that STD transmission rates could drop. Of course this assumption would need to be explored further than my own research in order to make this claim, but one thing we do know is that simply knowing you have an STD decreases the chance of passing it on to your partner.

Now that you have learned a little bit about my thesis and the agenda of it, I would like to invite any and all of you to be a part of the process. My methods for data collection include individual, qualitative interviews with people who have been diagnosed with genital herpes (type 1 or type 2) and wish to share their experience with me. The interviews will give you a chance to share your story, including triumphs and struggles with “the talk.” By talking with as many people in the herpes community as possible, I am hoping to paint a representative and accurate picture of the experience of living with herpes.

If you are interested in sharing your story with me, I would greatly appreciate your participation and ask that you contact me with any questions and concerns. The research is completely confidential, meaning there will be no names mentioned in the final report. I will be the only one with access to names of the participants, and measures like keeping files on a locked computer and using numeric identifiers and pseudonyms will be taken to protect your identity. If you wish to contact me about participating in the study you can reach me at: stephanienwilson@yahoo.com. I hope to hear from you all, and look forward to shedding light on the struggle associated with a genital herpes diagnosis through my thesis.

About Stephanie

Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie.  I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old.  Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University.  I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis.  With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs.  I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.