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Positive Singles: Benefits and Risks of Women Using Herpes Dating Sites

Positive Singles: Benefits and Risks of Women Using Herpes Dating Sites

I have learned so much in the last 16 years from my own experience of dating with herpes and supporting women with herpes in my private practice and herpes Pink Tent™ support forum. While I never chose to use a herpes dating site myself, many women out there do and I totally support them in their choice. Let’s review some of the benefits and risks.

Benefits and Risks Of Using a Positive Singles Dating Site or Herpes Dating Site

1. The Talk:
The most glaringly obvious benefit is that dating on a positive singles site can help to lessen the fear of having The Talk and disclosing your herpes status. Where so many women fall short is that they skip ever having “The Talk” with their new prospective positive partners, especially if both have herpes. They assume that since they both have herpes, that there is no reason to discuss their past medical history. STD’s come in all different forms, and while HSV is the 2nd most common STD, it is not the ONLY ONE. I have coached so many women over the years after they are newly diagnosed with herpes and I always remind them that The Talk is an essential part of staying healthy. In fact, having genital herpes puts you at a greater risk of contracting HIV. The reason for this is that if you have genital herpes, your natural barrier of protection, the skin, might be compromised with small sores or lesions in and around the vagina and cervix that you might not even feel. These openings in the skin are access points to HIV and other STD’s and infections. Know your risks before having sex!

2. Stigma:
Herpes dating sites often give women who are newly diagnosed a chance to meet some really wonderful and normal men and women. So many women with herpes who have been sexually responsible think that they are all alone. The truth is that herpes affects all sorts of women and the stigma of it being “dirty” and “shameful” is totally unfounded. The fact is that herpes affects at least 1 in 4 women and statistically speaking, there is absolutely no way that 1 in 4 women are “dirty”, sexually irresponsible and promiscuous. Dating within the community can often help to build a woman’s self confidence as she gets used to dating with herpes.

3. Honesty:
I recently conversed with a young woman with herpes that had just broken up with her boyfriend. They had been dating for some time and things were really going well. She had had sex with him a few times before she ever got the courage to tell him that she had herpes. Now, this is much more common than you think. So many women with herpes never disclose to their partners until its too late. In this case, the boyfriend was extremely loving and compassionate towards his girlfriend, but the trust he had in her was ruined by her withholding her status and exposing him. Even after talking to his friend with herpes, he just couldn’t get over the betrayal, so he broke things off. She was devastated! The moral of this story is that if you are a woman dating with herpes, you MUST tell your partner before it’s too late. Imagine how he or she would feel if they contracted genital herpes from you and you never disclosed your status! One of the benefits of using herpes dating sites is that you don’t need to worry about rejection because of your status.

4. Getting Too Comfortable:
I can’t tell you how many times I have had women with herpes share with me that the only reason they stayed in a bad relationship was because their partner also had herpes. This seems to happen more frequently with couples who come together on herpes dating sites. Regardless of whether your partner has herpes or not, a woman should never stay in a bad relationship because she doesn’t think she can do any better. Over time, many women start to even forget that they have herpes, until its time to break things off. If the relationship goes bad, women often stick around longer than they should because of the fear of being rejected once again. A herpes dating site and community is of great value to lessen these fears. I coach women to really pay attention as to whether or not their relationships are only based on the fact that both partners find sanctuary in the fact that they both are infected. If so, this is a fateful disaster waiting to happen. It will eat away at one’s soul and rob a woman of her right to be have a happy and healthy relationship.

5. Small Pool of Fish:
If a woman chooses to only date within the herpes community or from herpes dating sites, then she limits herself to the number of potential partners that would otherwise be interested in dating her. This is the main reason why I never used a herpes dating site. I wanted to put my best foot forward and not limit myself to only date men with herpes. Looking back, this was a good choice for me because I met my husband through a mutual friend. Had I not given him the chance because of the fear of rejection, then we would have never come together. While there have been several women who have found their partners from these sites, I have also heard of women who have just given up and stopped dating altogether if they are not successful. All in all, I encourage women with herpes to keep an open mind as to who would and wouldn’t be open to dating them. Dating within the herpes community is a great first step, but I encourage women to get out there in the open pool if things don’t work out in the “small pool”.

6. Transmitting Herpes To A Partner:
For many women, their greatest fear is transmitting the virus to an uninfected partner. The good news is that once a woman discovers she has herpes, she can take the proper precautions to greatly decrease the risk of transmission to her partner. If a woman with herpes is dating within the herpes community, it is important that she understands the transmission of herpes. If two people have the same strain of the virus, for example, if both people have HSV-1 or herpes type 1, then the partners can not pass it back and forth between them. This “compatibility” is the same if both people have HSV-2. However, if one has HSV-1 and the other has HSV-2, then there is some chance of transmission. Having one type does protect you a bit from contracting the other.

For many, dating another person with herpes can remove one’s fear of transmitting the virus and this alone is thought to be a huge benefit to dating within the community. But just remember that if you date someone that you assume does not have herpes, there is always a very good chance that they have it too. Recent studies show that 85% of people who have herpes don’t know it. Get your partners tested! If you would like more information on dating and living with herpes, be sure to check out our FREE, private forum for women supporting women with herpes. Ask questions, get support and get inspired. You’re not alone at Pink Tent™ Forum.

Dating With Genital Herpes: Dating Yourself First

Dating With Herpes- Know Thyself

Do you have genital herpes and are terrified to date? Are you terrified of the rejection? Have you been alone, waiting to get enough courage to even talk to a guy or girl? Then I have the perfect solution for you…

Start by dating yourself!

Now that Valentine’s Day is over, you can stop thinking about your loneliness and victimhood and start thinking about all the reasons why you are an awesome catch! I first got this idea from Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way”. At the time, I was single and I wanted so much to find that perfect guy. I would imagine what our lives would be like, where we would live, what activities we would enjoy together etc… But there was one catch. I had genital herpes. At the time, I thought it would be a deal breaker, so I decided to turn inward and “date myself.” What do I mean by this?

I decided to take myself out on dates. Going to the movies, out to dinner, to art shows, skiing, candlelit baths… you name it. If it lit me up, I would make it a point every week to do at least one thing that I totally loved… AND I did it SOLO. It wasn’t that I didn’t have any friends, but I wanted to remind myself of what I loved about life and what made my heart sing. I wanted to know that even if I never met someone, I could totally love and accept myself for who I was. How could I expect someone else to love me unconditionally, if I didn’t love myself! Now I know that there are millions of women out there with genital herpes that have resigned to be alone for the rest of their lives. Hey….I’m talking to YOU. I am living proof that there is a love life after a diagnosis of genital herpes. You are your worst enemy! After I really learned to love my own company and I was able to release and surrender to the great mystery of life, my now husband came into my life. I’ll let you in on a little secret… I even bought myself a ring to signify my wholeness and completeness despite my not having met my man yet. (If you want to read about that magical experience, you’ll have to read my book: Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women).

Now, take a moment and think of the happiest and emotionally healthiest couples you know. More likely than not, they are happy because they individually know who they are: their strengths and weaknesses. Genital herpes gives us a unique opportunity to really practice and learn radical self love and this starts with two simple words… Know Thyself

How do you do this?

  1. Make a list of your favorite things to do
  2. Make a date with yourself to do one of your favorite things. (Put it in your calendar)
  3. Make a list of your best traits
  4. Whenever you feel down, refer to number 3 and do number 2
  5. Journal your experience

Believe me, your attraction quotient will soar when you start making dates with yourself on a regular basis. After getting out in the community and experiencing your birthright of joy, you will begin to evolve from the inside out. You will rediscover your awesomeness. As your self confidence begins to resurface again, then it’s time to get out in the dating scene again. I have met so many women who have used this solo time to make some fundamental lifestyle changes that dramatically shaped their lives. They began to eat better, exercise and take overall better care of themselves. Use your genital herpes diagnosis as a stepping stone toward the life you never thought was possible. Never give up on your dreams! I know I didn’t. I am now happily married and raising the most amazing little girl in Boulder, CO. None of this would have been possible if I didn’t first take the time to Know Thyself.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Amazon Bestselling Author    

Herpes Diagnosis In A Foreign Country- By “Trying To Be Brave 2”

Flower patternMy story is a new one. I am a 38 year old  who lives and works in a country far away from home …I just found out three days ago. I only got tested because my partner of six months suddenly had an outbreak.  I went to my Gyno..he actually REFUSED to test me though I literally begged. I told him what was happening to my partner, he told me I have no signs of the disease..and I should come back if I ever have signs. Can you imagine!!! I am actually worried about my health..even other than the Disease I now have…I am not so trusting anymore…I often just trust doctors blindly.

I went to another clinic, language barrier in tow, and got the tests done. The doctor could hardly explain to me what the results meant. (I saw IgG  99.8+. 2.0….that looked positive to me.) Despite our inability to communicate, I know in my heart that I am positive. Again, this Dr. was telling me I had no problem…”sigh” It is doubly lonely here for me as I am far away from home. I am not fluent in the language either, and the native people have a hard time understanding the concept of confidentiality, even friends..At my workplace this would have been all over the staffroom by day’s end if I told my closest pal. I don’t know if this is something I should, or have to share with my friends, so I won’t. Is that ok?

I don’t want to share it with my family either ..maybe my sisters in time..not right now. My mom worries too much and gets sick.I am at a loss having never experienced an outbreak..do I still take meds even though I don’t even know when I am having an outbreak or when I will be contagious?  I am now terrified of spreading it to other parts of my body and other people as I don’t even know when I am shedding. This country is a bit relaxed where STD’s are concerned, I basically have no one to turn to for information After many moons of being single, then finding someone I really love..this happens. I just need the reassurance that everyday for the rest of my life will not be filled with sadness and the sense of loss that I now feel. My partner is so scared he is slowly locking me out of his life…he is a bit of a softy and we are not sure who gave who and it is killing him that it may be him ..(me too) he gets actual OBs so he can’t be stressed…even riding his bike gives him OBs…I think just looking at me stresses him out. I want to talk to him about it..he prefers online friends as he can’t handle the emotion involved in talking to me. (Even before I found out I was positive he didn’t even want to use the camera during SKYPE)I am heartbroken. I have overcome much in my lifetime…I will survive I think…but I need some help.  I am gonna be ok..but these first few days are not so nice.. Thank you so much for doing this Dr. You are a brave woman. Thanks. Tryingtobebrave2

You Probably Have Herpes and Don’t Know It

 

You Probably Have Herpes and Don’t Know It

I came across a great article today written by Vox magazine entitled: Bad news: you probably have herpes and don’t know it.  It is so refreshing to see that there are other people out there trying to educate the public about herpes. Did you know that at least 85% of the population that has genital herpes and doesn’t even know it? This is the same virus that causes chicken pox, cold sores and shingles.  I had a friend of mine ask me, “then, how do we know that they have herpes.” What a great question!

In 2006, the largest study ever on genital herpes was conducted on a cross section of the American population.  The National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey asked people who thought that they did not have herpes to participate in the study. Each participant was then tested for herpes using type specific blood tests for HSV-2. When the tests were then analyzed, it was determined that 85% of those participants did in fact test positive for herpes. Then, the group that tested positive for HSV-2 (genital herpes) were then educated on the signs and symptoms of herpes. It was then determined that 70% of those tested were then able to positively identify previous signs and symptoms of herpes.

I have quoted this study time and again in my outreach to educate the public about the high prevalence of genital herpes. Genital herpes is the most common STI and yet no one is comfortable talking about it because of its stigma. This is just one of the many enlightening statistics that reveals the truth about herpes. I also think it is important to reveal that women are 3-4x more likely to contract herpes and at least 1 in 4 women have it. It is our time as women to stand in our power and reveal to the public the reality of this condition.

Remember how people used to openly make fun of HIV and those who suffered from it? Rarely do you hear comedians making such rude comments regarding HIV and AIDs. It is time that those with herpes take a stand and educate the public about this mostly benign infection that does not lead to any other diseases. Wake up America! The next time you poke fun of someone with herpes or make a herpes joke, know that there is a very good chance that you are making fun of your best friend or loved one that just hasn’t had the courage to disclose their status to you.

Want to get educated, empowered and inspired? Check out my Amazon bestseller Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women.  

Healing Herpes: Opening Up To Your Dreams

 

Healing Herpes: Opening Up To Your Dreams

TransformationI just spent the past several hours facilitating a Ladies Brunch and workshop on Healing Herpes in my home. What a magical event!

My Story

I opened up the afternoon by sharing my story of how fifteen years ago, I contracted herpes on a post college trekking trip high in the Himalayan mountains. I shared how my world came tumbling around me as I faced my greatest fears….that no one would ever love me again and that I would never be able to bear children naturally. Thankfully I was wrong, but I’ll never forget how that tiny, windowless room in a dilapidated backpackers hotel became my cave of isolation for three whole days. An endless stream of tears and waves of despair, anger, shame and frustration overwhelmed me. Would I…could I… have a life after a herpes diagnosis? At that time, the only ray of hope was from the crack of light piercing through the hotel room door. Everything else seemed dark…a mystery waiting to unfold. (Want to read more about my story from shame to love? Click here)

Their Stories

First and foremost, I want to acknowledge the women who shared their stories today at our Pink Tent™ event. It takes a great deal of courage to share your story publicly in a room full of women you have never met. These women stood in their power and shared some of their deepest and darkest secrets and fears. Not only were they brave enough to attend our event, but they took it a step further and dove deep into the emotional facets that bind us from healing herpes.  Feelings of shame, guilt, anger and unworthiness were at the core of every story.

Listening to these women tell their stories brought me right back to that windowless room in Katmandu. I recalled how the crack of light from the hallway pierced through my darkest of nights. How at that time, I could have never conceived the life I am living now. My dreams did come true, but back then, the brightness of the sun and the world of possibilities for me would have been too bright for me to embrace. I truly would have been blinded by the light and the plan that God or The Divine had in store for me.

After working with women from around the world,  I now realize that some women have lost access to their dreams. They have given up hope and even worse, they self sabotage their future with toxic substances and thoughts of betrayal, guilt, shame,and negative self talk. When I ask them to share with me what they want in life, they respond by saying that they have no idea. They can easily rattle off the things in life that they DON’T WANT, but they are hard pressed to even come up with one thing that they desire. They forgot what it was like to be in their joy and to feel fulfilled in their lives. Herpes was like a thief in the night, robbing these women of their dreams.

Wherever you might be on your journey of healing herpes, your first step is to share your story and know that you are not alone. Life has a way of beating us down and over time we become numb to what else is possible. Sharing your story is cathartic and our Pink Tent™ community is the perfect forum for you to get educated, empowered and inspired. Even if you think you have lost your ability to dream, you haven’t! Herpes can be devastating, but you can pick yourself up and move in the direction of your dreams.

If the word “dream” seems too out there for you or too much, just think of one small thing you can do today for yourself to bring you comfort and joy. What did you used to do when you were a little girl? Did you dance to music when no one was watching? Did you pick flowers or gaze up at the stars in wonderment? Get back in touch with your inner child. Take time to date yourself and fall in love with YOU before you even consider dating again. Go to an art show, take up dancing, or cooking. The KEY to healing herpes is to love yourself; wholly and completely. The best way to do that is to take one baby step in the right direction. Just like that crack of light piercing the night in my hotel room, think of one ray of hope for yourself and do one thing that brings you joy. Chose love and don’t let it slip away. Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Amazon bestselling author of Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women

 

Bethany: Herpes Isn’t The End Of The World

Well, even though the H bomb is still hard to think about from time to time…I have definitely figured out that I can’t let it get me down and in the dumps. I contracted herpes from a tall, strapping man. He was a co-worker and that should have been my red light, but it wasn’t. I really like the way that he made me feel and the sweet nothings that he would always seem to whisper in my ear. I pretty much knew he was a player and I just never thought that herpes could happen to me. I was young, dumb, and having fun. I knew people with herpes, but I never really though about it.In 2010, I was 23 when I got the news. I was in the deepest of denial and then regret, and then denial again. I looked at my vagina 2 days after the diagnosis and it was all white. I knew then that it was real. Talk about hurt. I automatically thought about my daughter’s father and the fact that I would possibly never get oral sex again. The 23 year old mind! SMH… I was terrible.I don’t take my Valtrex anymore. When I got my first bottle I took it like clockwork and then I was in denial again… I thought, “If I take these pills, then that means that I accept it.” I didn’t want to accept it. I still don’t sometimes. I feel like I don’t have it. When I meet a guy, that is when I remember that I may have to tell him about my conditon.I wanted to be with my daughter’s father ultimately, but we had gone down our own paths. When my daughter was born we weren’t patient with one another and we found quick love or lust in other people. I still miss him, but I understand that some people may not want to take this risk. We continue to co-parent well and that is good for now. I have learned that STDs have a crazy stigma to them and I wish people would be a bit more accepting. I have learned that herpes isn’t the end of the world, even though it definitely feels like it. I have learned that I can live a normal life. I have learned that outbreaks aren’t a daily occurence. I had that initial ob and that was the craziest one. I have had a minor one, but nothing like the first. They don’t happen often at all.I would tell a newly diagnosed woman that it will be fine. Joining support groups and getting deeper into my faith (Team Jesus) got me through my herpes diagnosis. It is going to be hard, but this will definitely make you stronger. Don’t be discouraged. It is hard to say that at first, but once you rewind to the diagnosed date…you will see how much better life is and it isn’t over. You still have life and that is what matters!Currently, I feel like half and half. I wish I had made better choices, but God has a way of making us relax and sit down when we are moving way too fast… It could have been HIV or Hep C. I always think about that. I am a better person because of it. I treat people better and I respect people who want to learn more about it. I have made it my business to know all about it. I just take it day by day.

Looking For Some Natural Energy Boosters?

 

The Best Way To Get Your Natural Energy Boost

Energy Boosting MeditationAre you feeling exhausted? In overdrive? Too much sugar and not enough sleep? I know that it is so easy to get hooked on coffee and energy drinks, especially during the rush before the holidays. That little red cup from Starbucks is so alluring when you can barely keep your eyes open. What if there were natural energy boosters you could use that would be good for you? Would that be something that would interest you?

Before I share with you my favorite remedy to pick up my energy, I want to offer you a replacement for your warm cup of coffee. Have you ever tried green tea? There is a ton of literature that points to the benefits to green tea including its antioxidant polyphenols, antiviral, and weight loss to name a few. The most important thing to note about green tea is that all is not created equal. Most conventional green tea is sprayed with pesticides and fungicides which is very toxic to the body. Be sure to drink only organic green tea! Now for my favorite natural energy booster!

Many years ago, while I was training in Qi Gong, my teacher taught me a meditation to rejuvenate the mind and increase one’s energy. While I had always used meditation to calm me down, I had never thought about a meditation to lift me up and energize me. While I would never encourage you to do this in place of getting a good night’s rest, there are times when you just need a little pick me up. Not only is Red Bull, coffee, soda and other stimulants bad for your adrenal glands, immune system and gut, they can be totally addictive. So the more you travel down that rabbit whole, the deeper you’ll go and it is hard to break such bad habits.

For those of you who suffer from herpes, these drinks can trigger an outbreak over night for all of the above are high in arginine and sugar, known culprits for triggers. So, instead of reaching for your next fix, try this simple meditation to clear your mind and improve your energy state. I have found that even 15 minutes of this natural energy boosting meditation allows me to feel like I’ve had an hour or more of deep sleep. Listen to the instructions on how to do the meditation, then do it on your own for as long as you are able.

Healthy Eating This Holiday Season- Avoiding an Outbreak

 

 

Healthy Eating This Holiday Season- Avoiding an Outbreak

Healthy Eating During The Holidays: Kale ChipsNew Years Eve might be right around the corner, but now is NOT the time to make your declarations for a new year and a new you. The trick to healthy eating and staying slim this holiday season is to enjoy things in moderation. We can talk about making major changes in your diet after the new year, but for now, enjoy the festivities and the specialty food and drinks that come with it.

As we prepare our bodies for the cold of winter, our taste buds begin to shift to sugar and spice and everything nice. Stop feeling guilty about that! This isn’t a time to count calories or walk a rigid dietary tightrope. This sort of withdraw will probably lead you down the path of binging instead. This is about nurturing yourself and allowing yourself to indulge in some the sweetness that the holidays bring. If you think about it, the reason why we crave fatty, sugary things is that our body naturally wants to stay warm and the change of foods that we eat enable us to shift with the seasons. There is a rhythm to nature and it is time that we begin to honor that rhythm.

If you truly want to honor that rhythm, you must first find your own rhythm  and pulse. This requires us to connect with the inner most parts of ourselves, creating a soul connection. Those of us who have a tough time getting our hands out of the cookie jar are often overeating because of an underlying stress that has not been resolved. The quick rush of sugar gives us an endorphin like high, but the downside of the slope will send us dozing off on the couch. Then, as our blood sugars drop below normal, we reach for a double espresso or another cookie to pull us through the day. If this is you, you need to take the time to be with your thoughts, so that you don’t just run your body into the ground and get sick. We are here for you, just raise your hand and speak up.

Here are a few healthy eating tips that can truly help you to get through the holidays without having to drop all of your favorite goodies off the list.

1. Drink at least 50% of your body weight in ounces every day. This will help to hydrate your body and to cleanse some of the toxins in your food and beverages.

2. Start your day with a cup of hot water, lemon, and honey. This will stimulate your liver to detoxify your body and will provide you with some extra vitamin C to keep your immune system up to par.

3. Eat at least one green vegetable a day. Kale, swiss chard, broccoli,and brussel sprouts are all excellent choices. Consider making some kale chips to replace your cravings for potato chips. Our three year old loves kale chips! Experiment with olive oil and coconut oil or adding cajun spices, onion powder or smoked paprika.

4. Before going to your next holiday party, be sure to eat something healthy ahead of time. This will decrease your chances of over indulging.

5. Keep a stash of healthy snacks around (carrot sticks, apple slices, seaweed) have some in your car, in your purse and at work. (If you have herpes, do not overdue it on nuts and seeds because they can lead to outbreaks)

6. Drink alcohol and caffeine in moderation: both caffeine and alcohol are high in arginine, which is a known trigger for herpes. As a preventative during the holidays, you might want to start supplementing with L-Lysine. This will help to counteract the arginine in these foods.

7. End your day with an attitude of GRATITUDE. Review all of the things that you are happy and grateful for in your life.

If you need some support, please jump in the Forum and introduce yourself. We would love to hear from you. The stress of the holiday season can trigger an outbreak, so allow us to support you and keep your stress levels to a minimum.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Amazon Best selling author of Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide for Women    

From Gluten Free to Paleo?

From Gluten Free to Paleo?

GrainsOctober 22, 2014….I was sitting in my doctor’s office listening to all of the things I knew he would say. The usual suspects were at hand…exhausted adrenals, low progesterone, heavy metal toxicity, sluggish thyroid and liver.

Although I had studied my hair analysis for several years, hearing it from another professional made it real for me. I started zoning out as he outlined my new “diet”. I was in a fog and all I could think about was that Paleo Cookbook I just borrowed from the library, based on my suspicion that dietary changes were coming. My doctor started listing all of my restrictions… No coffee- Not Even Decaf. No alcohol. No gluten- not even most “gluten free” treats. No dairy. No grains. No beans. No processed foods. No refined sugar. No canned foods. “No Fun“, I thought, and Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner.

Richard spoke up first as he asked if I could “cheat” on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. My doctor rolled his eyes and raised his eyebrows. Then, he went into a whole monologue complete with graphs as to why I couldn’t “cheat” if we wanted to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy, delivery and baby. So, “should I go paleo?” I asked. And his answer was a resounding yes.

Now, let me give you some background. In the past year, I have had 3 miscarriages (BTW, miscarriages are not related to herpes) despite the fact that I have a very healthy 3 year old girl Maddie. After the third miscarriage and a challenging pregnancy and afterbirth with Maddie, I knew that it was time to get some answers. So, I took the summer off and fervently placed my energy in creating our new Foundations Course. Richard and I both agreed that come Fall we would start seeking some answers.

I had blood tests, urine tests, saliva tests, and hair tests to get an accurate measure of what was out of balance. Mind you, I feel great and eat healthy. In fact, I went Gluten Free (no wheat, barley, rye, triticale) over the summer after having read the book Wheatbelly. My mother, father and aunt had already gone gluten free. The best gift of going Gluten Free for my whole family allowed our little girl’s occasional stomach aches to go away completely. I was amazed at how easy going gluten free was for our family. Maddie’s biggest challenge was not being able to get mac n cheese at the “mac n cheese store” (AKA Whole Foods).

I was shocked to find that going Gluten Free in Boulder, CO is relatively easy if your diet is already pretty clean. We could still partake in gluten free pasta and cupcakes- two treats that Maddie loved. The only other challenge I had was when Maddie started preschool part time this Fall. Most of the snacks are filled with gluten like pretzels, graham crackers, cookies, goldfish etc. I felt guilty that my child was going to have to be different. The good news is that they make most of these things gluten free and I as able to bring Maddie her own snacks. When she was in a fire drill the other day, she said that she was a good listener and that she had a pretzel (GF) as an award and that the other kids had gluten. She made me smile.

So, it is three days before Thanksgiving and now I am taking on a Paleo diet. All weekend I was pissed off that I had to be so restrictive in my diet. I went ahead and cleaned out my refrigerator and pantry of all potential temptations. No Thanksgiving stuffing or Christmas cookies or chocolate torte for me! And what about my favorite seasonal beers? I am a foodie at heart! I couldn’t possibly imagine how I would do it. My husband agreed to do the diet with me in his commitment to expand our family. He looks at it as an opportunity for us both to be healthier than ever. Watch out for what you pray for, for I have always gotten on his case for eating more veggies and now he is more than willing to.

My yoga instructor told us in class on Saturday that “Adversity is just change that has not adapted yet”. She shared this idea after watching a Ted Talk from a paralympic sprinter Aimee Mullins. Her message sank deep into my soul and I’ve been holding onto it ever since. This diet change will be a challenge for me, but I am committed to adapting to it. Richard reminds me to focus on the foods that I CAN eat as opposed to those that I CAN’T. I am so grateful for my current level of health and my amazing family.

I GET to have the chance of turning this ship around and if that means changing my diet, then I’m all in. I can’t control the outcome, but I can participate 100%. There are many of you who are reading this after having read my recommendations in my new book, Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes. I have heard from many of you that you are challenged to clean up your diet and make changes to decrease your herpes outbreaks. I totally understand. If I can do Paleo, you can make the necessary changes you need in your diet and lifestyle.

How committed are you to healing? I know that I will do whatever it takes to heal my body to its optimal potential. I have had a headache for the past few days and I am just now starting to feel more empowered. I bought 2 Paleo cookbooks and shared with my family how restricted my diet will be over the holidays. I am so fortunate that they are on board to support me. Health and healing is a never ending journey. I am on this journey with each and every one of you here at Pink Tent. Let’s rise above our challenges and be grateful for the opportunity to do so. Happy Thanksgiving!

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly

P.S. If you’re looking for some great Paleo Cookbooks, check out Primal Cravings, Practical Paleo or  Make it Paleo

P.S.S. I’m off to read my new book, Grain Brain- The Surprising Truth About Wheat, Carbs and Sugar: Your Brains Silent Killers

Genital Herpes In Women- Life does go on….Merideth

Penguins

Genital Herpes In Women

I am beginning to feel confident with myself gain. I am 18 years old and 4 months ago (one week before my 18th b-day) I had noticed some sores in my genital area. I scheduled an appt. with my gynecologist and right after looking at them she knew what was wrong with me. She told me that I had genital herpes. I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I was thinking she had to be wrong, this couldn’t happen to me. She told me she was sure that’s what I have and I was hysterical. I would have rather been dead. I thought that anyone that I told would back away from me and not want to come near me. I felt so disgusted and ashamed of myself I could hardly stand to look in the mirror. I didn’t know what to do, I needed someone to lean on and help me through this but I was so ashamed of myself.I called my step mom crying hysterically and she came to pick me up at the doctor’s office. I could hardly tell her what I found out. Just saying the words ‘genital herpes’ was too hard to do. She was very sympathetic towards me but I didn’t understand. She and the doctor were both telling me it wasn’t the end of the world but in my eyes it was! How could anyone say everything would be OK and I would get through it? I couldn’t even grasp the concept of having a normal life ever again. Since that day I have researched it a lot and I have come to terms with it. I know now that it’s not the end of the world and I can and am living a normal life. It has only been 4 months since I was diagnosed but I am already OK with it. There are times when I still get very upset over it but overall I have regained my self-confidence. I can hold my head up high again and be proud of who I am. I still wonder “Why me?” and I wonder also who gave it to me and when exactly I got it but I understand those are questions that I will never have answered. All I know is I have it and I have to take care of myself and be sure not to spread this on to others. I have not had an outbreak since the first one 4 months ago and all I can do is take care of myself in hopes of reducing a recurrence. I will not give this to anyone because I know what it feels like. Someone I trusted and felt close to was careless and didn’t worry or care about passing this on to me so all I can do is make sure I do my best not to pass it on to anyone else. I hope my words and experience with this can help others learn to be OK with themselves after being diagnosed with this. Life does go on and you can be happy!!!