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Tag: living with herpes
Overcoming Stigma and Finding your Unique Path
Overcoming Stigma and Finding your Unique Path
By Contributing Author Stephanie
I watched this video quite a few months ago and for a long time did not understand my connection to Eleanor Longden or her struggle with mental health. After much contemplation I began to understand my ability to empathize with her and be overwhelmingly inspired by her journey. Although her experience with schizophrenia is vastly different than my own experience with herpes, the fact of the matter is we both had to overcome societal stigma and as well personal stigma against our conditions.
To me, the most inspirational part of Eleanor’s story is her ability to not only overcome that stigma but to do so in a way that defied the norms of medicine and treatment for her condition. By overcoming the stigma associated with schizophrenia she was able to work with her symptoms and hardships in order to create a meaningful interaction with her voices. What she teaches any of us going through the process of overcoming stigma to promote healing is that doing so will allow you to experience your stigmatized identity in a way that is actually beneficial. For those of us dealing with a new herpes diagnosis, or the trauma that comes along with an outbreak after years of living with the virus, it is important to interact with our condition and symptoms in a compassionate way. My ability, and i’m sure many of yours, to understand Eleanor’s hardships is a perfect example of one way herpes has been beneficial in my life. Being able to feel true compassion and empathize for others in seemingly completely different situations than your own is a true gift that I may not have today without my diagnosis.
I hope you all find as much inspiration in Eleanor’s story and her ability to overcome stigma associated with her voices as I have; and I hope it inspires you all to find your unique path to health and happiness in your acceptance of your diagnosis.
About Stephanie
Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old. Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University. I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis. With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs. I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.
Prepare for Cold Season and Avoid Herpes Outbreaks
Prepare for Cold Season and Avoid Herpes Outbreaks
By Contributing Author Stephanie
As we enter into the beautiful, yet dangerously contagious, fall season I usually have one thing on my mind: avoiding colds. After being diagnosed with herpes, this concern weighs on my mind even more. As most of us know, the herpes virus shows up when our immune system has been compromised. There can be many causes for this including stress, another virus like the common cold or the flu, or perhaps even lack of sleep.
As my body was still trying to build up immunity to the herpes virus, colds had a substantial effect on my experience with outbreaks. For the first year of my diagnosis, every time I caught a small cold, an outbreak would follow days after the cold arrived. Because of this, I have found that it is extremely important for me to take care of myself and keep my immune system strong in order to avoid herpes outbreaks. This blog post will go over some simple, yet key points on how to boost your immune system during the cold season in order to avoid herpes outbreaks. The first step you can take to avoid herpes outbreaks by boosting your immune system is take Omega-3s on a daily basis.
In Dr. Kelly’s book, Live, Love, & Thrive with Herpes, she suggests 2000 mg or more a day. Omega-3s are a great way to boost your immune system as well as balance your hormones, and support cardiovascular and brain health. Zinc Chelate is another easy supplement to use to boost your immunity. Dr. Kelly’s book suggests 50 mg a day. Not only will taking Zinc on a daily basis support a strong immune system, but it will also promote skin health and tissue repair: two benefits that are amazing for herpes outbreaks. Vitamin D3 is also a great supplement to build immunity. The suggested dose listed in Dr. Kelly’s book is 5000 IU’s a day.
Women are often deficient in Vitamin D3 and new research is showing that it acts as a hormone, signaling cells to boost immunity. If you are osteoporotic, then D3 is required for you to be able to properly absorb your calcium supplements. Probiotics are another supplement to add to your regimen or diet, not only during cold season, but all the time. Probiotics help the “good bacteria” in your body to thrive so that they can fight off the “bad bacteria.” You may be able to get all the probiotics you need from your diet. A few of the foods known to be rich in probiotics are yogurt, sauerkraut, kefir, and kimchi.
One last supplement you should always take to support your health and immune system is a multivitamin. In Live, Love, & Thrive with Herpes, Dr. Kelly suggests a multivitamin that has at least 750 mg of calcium and 450 mg of magnesium. If you are already taking each of these supplements daily, congratulations! If you are not, now would be the perfect time to start. Cold season is among us, and supporting our immune systems is extremely important to avoid herpes outbreaks as well as for our overall health and happiness. I hope these suggestions find you well and that you all have a happy and healthy cold season.
You’re Invited: Share your Story of being Diagnosed and Living with Herpes
Share your Story of being Diagnosed and Living with Herpes
By Contributing Author Stephanie
As many of you know from reading my short bio, I am working on earning my MA in Sociology. I was diagnosed with herpes right around the time that I was accepted into my program and made the decision to go to graduate school. As I was brainstorming ideas for my thesis, my own experience as a woman living with herpes sparked my topic. I am now in the midst of exploring the connection between social stigma and the disclosure process. I am determined to understand the role that stigma plays in the ability, or inability, to give “the talk.” I also want to know how the social stigma of herpes affects simple dynamics of “the talk.” By understanding the relationship between stigma and the disclosure process a bit more clearly, I hope to shed light on the way that stigma can affect transmission rates. If we can get people to feel more comfortable talking about their sexual health, there is a possibility that STD transmission rates could drop. Of course this assumption would need to be explored further than my own research in order to make this claim, but one thing we do know is that simply knowing you have an STD decreases the chance of passing it on to your partner.
Now that you have learned a little bit about my thesis and the agenda of it, I would like to invite any and all of you to be a part of the process. My methods for data collection include individual, qualitative interviews with people who have been diagnosed with genital herpes (type 1 or type 2) and wish to share their experience with me. The interviews will give you a chance to share your story, including triumphs and struggles with “the talk.” By talking with as many people in the herpes community as possible, I am hoping to paint a representative and accurate picture of the experience of living with herpes.
If you are interested in sharing your story with me, I would greatly appreciate your participation and ask that you contact me with any questions and concerns. The research is completely confidential, meaning there will be no names mentioned in the final report. I will be the only one with access to names of the participants, and measures like keeping files on a locked computer and using numeric identifiers and pseudonyms will be taken to protect your identity. If you wish to contact me about participating in the study you can reach me at: stephanienwilson@yahoo.com. I hope to hear from you all, and look forward to shedding light on the struggle associated with a genital herpes diagnosis through my thesis.
About Stephanie
Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old. Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University. I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis. With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs. I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.
Tips to Avoid a Heat Triggered Herpes Outbreak
Tips to Avoid a Heat Triggered Herpes Outbreak
By: contributing author Stephanie 
For those of you who have read Dr. Kelly’s book, Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes, you are aware that heat, moisture, and sun can trigger outbreaks. Here, I will go over the facts you need to minimize your risk of a sun or heat triggered herpes outbreak as well as provide some tips for non toxic sun protection.
According to an article on Livestrong.com, the reason that sun exposure activates the herpes virus is unknown. However, the article informs us that using sunscreen before sun exposure will decrease the risk of an outbreak triggered by UV rays. This mean that applying sunscreen prior to a day in the sun is especially important for those of us who experience outbreaks on our faces. Choosing the right sunscreen with ingredients that won’t irritate your skin and possibly trigger outbreaks is also very important.
My favorite resource to use when buying any cosmetic products is the Skin Deep Cosmetic Database. For your convenience this website provides a tab on the top left of the page specifically for sun protection. This database will provide you with a toxicity rating for almost any product you are debating purchasing. The key for these ratings is pictured below in the Hazard Score Key. If the product has a hazard score that is color coded green and numbered 0-2 it is in the lowest toxicity bracket. Products with a score that is color coded red and numbered 7-10 is in the highest toxicity bracket. Once you find a product that meets your own personal qualifications for a hazard rating you can click on the product to see what specific ingredients earned the rating.
The database also provides a helpful list of common toxic ingredients found in sunscreens. Here is a list of the harmful active ingredients from highest toxicity to lowest toxicity found in many sunscreens provided by ewg.org: Common Toxic Sunscreen Ingredients
- Oxybenzone
- Octinoxate (Octylmethoxycinnamate)
- Homosalate
- Octisalate
- Octocrylene
- Titanium Dioxide
- Zinc Oxide
- Avobenzone
- Mexoryl SX
It may be hard to avoid all of these ingredients, so when choosing sunscreen I suggest you remember that although these ingredients may be harmful to our bodies, overexposure to the sun is also harmful. Regardless of whether you have been diagnosed with the herpes virus or not, the sun is harmful and can irritate the skin. It is also important to get to know you own body in order to understand how the virus will react to heat triggers on your body specifically. If you notice that you tend to get frequent outbreaks during constant heat exposure, take steps to avoid the heat. Keep in mind that avoiding the heat does not necessarily mean that you need to avoid your favorite summer hobbies.
Get acquainted with your body’s limits and you may be surprised with what it can handle. With this information I hope you practice mindful sunscreen use and regulate your exposure to heat this summer. Remember that we all have a unique experience with herpes, and one person’s trigger is not always the same as another’s. Now, enjoy the last rays of summer!
Want to learn more about the herpes triggers your doctor never told you about? Check out Dr. Kelly’s Amazon bestseller.
About Stephanie
Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old. Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University. I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis. With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs. I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.
Herpes Treatment: Lemon Balm for Herpes
Herpes Treatment: Lemon Balm for Herpes
By Contributing Auther: Stephanie
One of my main concerns with herpes treatment is my ability to control the virus naturally without effecting other areas of my body. Lemon balm is used in herpes treatment as a natural home remedy to reduce the replication of the herpes virus. Here, you will learn many of the different ways you can use lemon balm for herpes outbreak treatment and prevention, in hopes that you will find the perfect remedy for your lifestyle!
Lemon balm, scientifically known as Melissa officinalis, was shown in a 2004 study to effectively reduce the rate of of replication of both type 1 and 2 of the herpes virus (Allahverdiyev et. al 2004). One precaution the article gives is using anything over a concentration of 100 micrograms per milliliter. If the concentration is higher than this threshold there could be potential toxic side effects. This being said, any lemon balm oil or supplement that you buy in the store should be safe for use, but I would suggest checking the dosage on the product just to be sure. As you can probably imagine, go organic whenever possible. While it is beneficial to discuss how this herb can potentially prevent outbreaks, help heal current outbreaks, and hinder the replication of the virus, we will also discuss some creative uses for the herb. This herb can be used in many applications and it is my intent that each and every one of you will learn how it can benefit you, no matter what your unique situation with herpes is.
Different uses for lemon balm:
If you would like to grow the herb and use it in its most natural form, there are several ways to accomplish this. The first, and likely most common, is to make lemon balm tea. All you need to do is to place some herbs in hot boiling water for a few minutes (tea bag is optional), add some honey (raw is best), sip and relax. This tea also pairs well with black or mint tea. You can drink this hot or you can add ice to drink iced tea. This herb touts its ability to relax you and when you’ve sipped to your hearts content, re use the tea bag to sooth any sores by placing the bag directly on them. If you do not want to grow the herb yourself, lemon balm tea is readily available for purchase.
Another creative and relaxing remedy is to take a lemon balm bath. If you have the lemon balm plant you can use the leaves in the bath by making a lemon balm leaf-filled bag and hanging it under the running water as you fill the bath. This remedy will create a relaxing and healing environment for your herpes sores to heal. A word of caution though, do not take a bath that is too hot as very hot baths and hot tubs can trigger the herpes virus.
You can even eat fresh lemon balm leaves in a salad or with any other meal you have prepared. Culinary nerds might want to add mint, anise, fennel or lemon verbena to mix with the lemon balm. Eating the leaves allows you to proactively begin to approach herpes treatment with more of a preventative approach. Having lemon balm as a part of your regular diet could help to decrease the likelihood of having another outbreak.
Lemon balm salve or ointment is also available over the counter. The salve can be applied directly to an outbreak site to help sooth and heal any bothersome sores. This is a great option for those of us who might not have the time to get super creative with the herb.
You can also buy a lemon balm (or Melissa) supplement at your vitamin store to get the herb into your daily intake. This is a great alternative to eating the leaves with your food, and will also act as a herpes treatment for outbreak prevention.
Lemon balm/Melissa essential oils are also available. You can use the oil in the area that you usually experience outbreaks to potentially prevent them. You can also use the oil for its relaxing and calming properties in times of stress to help control your immune system’s response to hectic times.
These are just some of the many creative uses I have found while researching the lemon balm herb and its effect on the herpes virus. I for one am planning to experiment with each of them to find which remedy works best for my mind and body. I hope you all do the same, and successfully find a healing outlet in the herb!
Resources:
Allahverdiyev, A., Duran, N., Ozguven, M., & Koltas, S. 2004. “Antiviral activity of the volatile oils of Melissa officinalis L. against Herpes simplex virus type-2.” Phytomedicine 11(7):657-661.
About Stephanie
Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old. Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University. I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis. With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs. I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.
Genital Herpes And Self Esteem
Genital Herpes and Self Esteem
Now you might be thinking to yourself….why in the world is this woman with herpes so happy? Well, I am. Why? Because I am still the same happy go lucky woman that I have always been and I do not allow herpes to affect my level of self esteem. If you want to change how you think about yourself and feel about yourself, you must first honor your physical body. This is one of the pillars of self love.
In my book, Live, Love and Thrive With Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women, I speak about the importance of the Triad Of Health. At the foundation of health is your physical body and the two arms of the triangle are your mental and emotional/spiritual. If you don’t take care of your physical body, your mental and emotional/spiritual wellbeing will begin to weaken over time. Herpes is such a stigmatizing infection, that it is no wonder that many women who are diagnosed with it suffer from depression.
What’s one of the best things you can do for depression? Move Your Body! That’s right…move your body! If you are not moving your body, then you are building up toxins, losing muscle mass, depressing your immunity, and decreasing your potential for happiness and joy. The body is meant to move and for some, a herpes diagnosis can be the perfect catalyst to begin to take charge of your physical health. Moving your physical body will help you to love and appreciate this temple called your body. Instead of disassociating with your body, you need to embrace it. Many women with herpes stop moving their bodies and they begin to disown it. This is the “house” you were given, so it is time to take care of it.
One of the other benefits of moving your body is that you will receive the natural high of endorphins. This always helps to improve your mood. Have you ever worked out and then thought….I just shouldn’t have done that? Absolutely not! Make a commitment to yourself to move your body every day. It doesn’t need to be much, but you must move to grow and heal. Learn to love your body again and it will start to love you back.
Need additional support? Check out my Amazon Best-Seller, Live, Love & Thrive With Herpes
Abreva Cream- The Ins and Outs
Abreva Cream- The Ins and Outs
By Contributing author Stephanie
Abreva cream is a topical ointment used to treat cold sores; at least that is how it is marketed. Customer reviews on numerous websites show success for the medicine. People who have used Abreva report that the time it takes for the cold sores to heal decreases, the severity of the sore or sores decreases, and there are even reports that it can be used to prevent a sore from ever actually showing up. Overall, people seem to have great success with Abreva. After diving into the use of it a bit more I found that it targets sores caused by HSV-1 (as opposed to HSV-2), which we know can also appear genitally.
I searched to see if the cream could be used for genital lesions as well, and after finding out that it certainly can be (as long as those legions are caused by HSV-1) I began to deconstruct why the company might market the product in the way that it does. The stigma associated with oral herpes is very different than that associated with genital herpes, and unfortunately a company is smart to steer clear from the later. In one of my earlier blogs, “The Social Construction of Genital Herpes,” I touch on why the stigma of genital herpes is the way it is. Because oral herpes is not as closely associated with sex, the stigma is not the same. There is also something to be said about the inability to conceal our herpes when it appears orally.
If we only experience genital lesions, disclosure is our personal choice; but when cold sores appear orally, disclosure of our herpes happens automatically. The stigmas of each type (oral and genital) as well as the ways we manage the stigmas of each type are very different from each other. Because of that difference, it is important to place them into different social categories. It is unfortunate that in order to avoid the associated stigma Abreva must also avoid marketing their product to those living with HSV-1 genitally, but then again there is a chance that products for the automatically disclosed stigma are just in higher demand. Despite these circumstances, reviews on the product would steer me towards using it so long as my diagnosis is HSV-1.
I hope this information benefits those of you who are looking for a treatment like this. I also hope this helps you to think critically about your situation and all the nooks and crannies that seem to have simple explanations but in reality are much more complex. Don’t disregard the social definitions of your diagnosis and the way you treat it, they will help you more than you might think!
Want to learn how to heal cold sores faster using all natural remedies? You’ll have to check out Dr. Kelly’s Amazon bestselling book, Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes.
About Stephanie
Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old. Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University. I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis. With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs. I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.
Brene Brown’s Top 3 Things To Overcome Shame
Brene Brown’s Top 3 Things To Overcome Shame
Dr. Kelly Martin Schuh shares what she learned from Brene Brown on overcoming shame. Women with herpes are following these same easy steps to overcome their herpes diagnosis.
1. Talk to yourself like you would a loved one– Dr. Kelly adds to this tip. If you find yourself speaking like a “gremlin”, say “cancel that” to yourself and replace it with a positive thought
2. Reach out to someone you trust- Dr. Kelly also advises NOT to choose someone who is known to be judgmental.
3. Share your story– this is truly the first huge step to overcoming the emotional burdens that a herpes diagnosis brings. As Brene Brown teaches, shame grows exponentially in the environment of secrets. When you can share your story, like women do on Pink Tent™, you can begin to shine a light on your deepest, darkest secrets. This is a huge step for women who want to overcome the stigma and shame so closely linked to a herpes diagnosis. For women who really want to dive in and learn how to have a happy, healthy sex life and to embrace wellness, they should check out her online Foundations Course© 
In this 4 part multi media training, women are learning how to overcome their shame and start living and loving again. In this intimate, safe environment, women can ask her anything about herpes. In addition, women no longer feel all alone because they are able to “meet” other empowered women who are no longer victims to their herpes diagnosis.
Registration is currently closed for the Secrets To Success: Foundations Course, but if you want to start your journey to a happier, healthier you, sign up for a free one-on-one call with Dr. Kelly!
Shame Of Herpes: Impact On A Woman’s Body Image
Shame Of Herpes: Impact On A Woman’s Body Image
A woman’s self concept is so often tied to her looks. While on the outside she might be stunning, the shame of herpes leaves her feeling broken and undesirable. The shame of herpes is devastating to a woman’s sense of self worth and beauty. After a diagnosis of herpes, it is not uncommon for a woman to go through long periods of depression and isolation. Feeling broken and like damaged goods, women are convinced that they are now like lepers of the past. While many women learn to overcome this initial shock and body distortion, many women are never able to feel their beauty and access their sexual power again. If you are one of those women…. This article is for YOU!
In a society that values material possessions and model like looks, it can be challenging to develop a strong and healthy self esteem. What would our world look like if we upheld women on a pedestal for their inner beauty as much as their outer beauty? As I sat down this morning to do my daily practice, I read a prayer that spoke directly to my heart and soul. I immediately knew that I had to share this with my Pink Tent™ community of Women Supporting Women With Herpes. So, here it is…from the Daily Word
Temple: I bless my body temple
“Each day I take time to bless my body temple and affirm my strength, health, beauty, and vitality….As I awaken to the truth of my body’s holiness, I become aware of practices and habits I want to add or change to support my ever-increasing health and strength. Changes in food, activities, or attitude may be in order” (Daily Word, A Unity Publication March 2015).
No matter what your spiritual background is, I am confident that if each and every woman with herpes began to affirm this blessing daily, their shame of herpes would begin to melt away. Our bodies are our temples. Please don’t allow herpes to rob you of the right to feel safe and loved beyond measure in your own skin. Your body should be a refuge of self expression and beauty. No body is perfect, and yet women with herpes often begin to feel angry towards their own bodies. The stigma of herpes leaves them feeling dirty and shameful. We become our worst enemies. We allow herpes to be the ever impending intruder of our bodies. Instead of acting with kindness and love, we begin to act with self sabotaging behavior like overeating, drinking or substance abuse. As we distance ourselves and disconnect, we become fragmented and forget who we really are. We forget our true gifts and talents. Instead of being a woman who lives with herpes, we allow herpes to run the show. This misery is truly self imposed. I encourage you to take time each day to love and nurture your body and affirm to yourself… I bless my body temple.
Discovering unconditional self love is truly the best gift you can give yourself. Stop being a victim to herpes and affirm that you are NOT your herpes. You are a beautiful…from the inside out and you are loved beyond measure. Start treating your body with the love and respect it deserves and watch the miracles unfold in your life.
Live. Love. Thrive.
Dr. Kelly
