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2 Step Process To Overcome A Herpes Diagnosis

2 Step Process To Overcome A Herpes Diagnosis

Springtime: Overcoming Herpes

Over the past few weeks, I have been inundated with requests for private coaching. I don’t know if it is linked to Spring, the season of renewal, or if it is just coincidental. Either way, I feel so blessed to be privy to women’s deepest darkest secrets. Springtime truly is a time of change and renewal. We move from the darkness and introspection of winter and transition into the warmth and growth of Spring.

As the crocus pokes through the patches of snow and newly sprung grass, so too do our souls want to move toward the direction of personal growth. Most women reach out to me because they have been diagnosed with genital herpes and they just can’t seem to psychologically overcome it. Whether it’s alcoholism, abuse, an eating disorder or an embarrassing medical condition…you name it… everyone has a skeleton in their closet that keeps them from living a full and vibrant life. 

The Springtime is the PERFECT time to shed a light on those shadows, so that they no longer trap us in FEAR. As Francois de La Rochefoucauld said, “The only thing constant in life is change” So whether you are in that place of shock and chaos or in a place of peace and gratitude, what I can be certain of is that eventually things will change. Something is going to come along and rock your boat. The question then becomes, how will you RESPOND to change? Resistance is futile! So, how does one move from the shock and overwhelm of a herpes diagnosis, to a place of peace and acceptance?

The answer is in the ability to FEEL and FLOW. If you are in the midst of chaos, this is THE two step punch to move you through it so that you can rediscover the peace and acceptance you deserve.

Step One: FEEL
If you find yourself in a state of overwhelm, sadness or chaos, the first step is to truly FEEL all that you are feeling. Place your hand on your heart and acknowledge how you are really feeling. In the case of a diagnosis of herpes- there are probably feelings of sadness, shame, grief and loneliness. Say to yourself-YES, this did happen to me and I will feel the sadness and not fight it. Then, scan your body and discover where you are feeling your feelings the strongest. Maybe it is in your heart or in your stomach. Wherever it is, place your hands on that area and breath into it, not trying to change it.

Step Two: FLOW
Now that you have acknowledged your feelings, allow the emotions to move through your body. Emotions are just ENERGY in MOTION. If we try to suppress them, then the energy gets stuck in our body, later to manifest as physical disease or imbalance. Once we FEEL this energy in motion, then it can FLOW through us. It is the stuck energy that harms us long term. To be in the state of FLOW is to truly be in the art of allowing. It is during this state that we can call upon our higher self or God, or the Divine… whatever you believe in. Ask for guidance, healing and peace and then let it go. It is in this art of allowing that you will be guided to your next step in healing.

Use this two step approach for any challenge that comes your way. Believe me, I now know that my greatest challenges in life have been my greatest teachers. Many might find this absurd, but I can truly state that my diagnosis of herpes was truly a gift. It has enabled me to have much more compassion for others and it has guided me to YOU….the Women of Pink Tent. You are the most resilient, powerful and strong women I have ever met. If you truly want to be bigger than your herpes and you want to be stronger and healthier than ever before, use your diagnosis of herpes as a catalyst for BIG CHANGES. Changes that you get to declare and make happen.

As Elizabeth Lesser, Cofounder of Omega Institute For Holistic Studies said: “I’ve found that the changes I feared would ruin me have always become doorways, and on the other side I have found a more courageous and graceful self.” Declare today that you are worthy of radical self love and peace.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Martin Schuh Author of Amazon Bestselling Book Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes    

Shame Of Herpes: Impact On A Woman’s Body Image

Shame Of Herpes: Impact On A Woman’s Body Image

Body Image of Woman With HerpesA woman’s self concept is so often tied to her looks. While on the outside she might be stunning, the shame of herpes leaves her feeling broken and undesirable. The shame of herpes is devastating to a woman’s sense of self worth and beauty. After a diagnosis of herpes, it is not uncommon for a woman to go through long periods of depression and isolation. Feeling broken and like damaged goods, women are convinced that they are now like lepers of the past. While many women learn to overcome this initial shock and body distortion, many women are never able to feel their beauty and access their sexual power again. If you are one of those women…. This article is for YOU!

In a society that values material possessions and model like looks, it can be challenging to develop a strong and healthy self esteem. What would our world look like if we upheld women on a pedestal for their inner beauty as much as their outer beauty? As I sat down this morning to do my daily practice, I read a prayer that spoke directly to my heart and soul. I immediately knew that I had to share this with my Pink Tent™ community of Women Supporting Women With Herpes. So, here it is…from the Daily Word

Temple: I bless my body temple

“Each day I take time to bless my body temple and affirm my strength, health, beauty, and vitality….As I awaken to the truth of my body’s holiness, I become aware of practices and habits I want to add or change to support my ever-increasing health and strength. Changes in food, activities, or attitude may be in order” (Daily Word, A Unity Publication March 2015).

No matter what your spiritual background is, I am confident that if each and every woman with herpes began to affirm this blessing daily, their shame of herpes would begin to melt away. Our bodies are our temples. Please don’t allow herpes to rob you of the right to feel safe and loved beyond measure in your own skin. Your body should be a refuge of self expression and beauty. No body is perfect, and yet women with herpes often begin to feel angry towards their own bodies. The stigma of herpes leaves them feeling dirty and shameful. We become our worst enemies. We allow herpes to be the ever impending intruder of our bodies. Instead of acting with kindness and love, we begin to act with self sabotaging behavior like overeating, drinking or substance abuse. As we distance ourselves and disconnect, we become fragmented and forget who we really are. We forget our true gifts and talents. Instead of being a woman who lives with herpes, we allow herpes to run the show. This misery is truly self imposed. I encourage you to take time each day to love and nurture your body and affirm to yourself… I bless my body temple.

Discovering unconditional self love is truly the best gift you can give yourself. Stop being a victim to herpes and affirm that you are NOT your herpes. You are a beautiful…from the inside out and you are loved beyond measure. Start treating your body with the love and respect it deserves and watch the miracles unfold in your life.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Live Love and Thrive with Herpes        

Positive Singles: Benefits and Risks of Women Using Herpes Dating Sites

Positive Singles: Benefits and Risks of Women Using Herpes Dating Sites

I have learned so much in the last 16 years from my own experience of dating with herpes and supporting women with herpes in my private practice and herpes Pink Tent™ support forum. While I never chose to use a herpes dating site myself, many women out there do and I totally support them in their choice. Let’s review some of the benefits and risks.

Benefits and Risks Of Using a Positive Singles Dating Site or Herpes Dating Site

1. The Talk:
The most glaringly obvious benefit is that dating on a positive singles site can help to lessen the fear of having The Talk and disclosing your herpes status. Where so many women fall short is that they skip ever having “The Talk” with their new prospective positive partners, especially if both have herpes. They assume that since they both have herpes, that there is no reason to discuss their past medical history. STD’s come in all different forms, and while HSV is the 2nd most common STD, it is not the ONLY ONE. I have coached so many women over the years after they are newly diagnosed with herpes and I always remind them that The Talk is an essential part of staying healthy. In fact, having genital herpes puts you at a greater risk of contracting HIV. The reason for this is that if you have genital herpes, your natural barrier of protection, the skin, might be compromised with small sores or lesions in and around the vagina and cervix that you might not even feel. These openings in the skin are access points to HIV and other STD’s and infections. Know your risks before having sex!

2. Stigma:
Herpes dating sites often give women who are newly diagnosed a chance to meet some really wonderful and normal men and women. So many women with herpes who have been sexually responsible think that they are all alone. The truth is that herpes affects all sorts of women and the stigma of it being “dirty” and “shameful” is totally unfounded. The fact is that herpes affects at least 1 in 4 women and statistically speaking, there is absolutely no way that 1 in 4 women are “dirty”, sexually irresponsible and promiscuous. Dating within the community can often help to build a woman’s self confidence as she gets used to dating with herpes.

3. Honesty:
I recently conversed with a young woman with herpes that had just broken up with her boyfriend. They had been dating for some time and things were really going well. She had had sex with him a few times before she ever got the courage to tell him that she had herpes. Now, this is much more common than you think. So many women with herpes never disclose to their partners until its too late. In this case, the boyfriend was extremely loving and compassionate towards his girlfriend, but the trust he had in her was ruined by her withholding her status and exposing him. Even after talking to his friend with herpes, he just couldn’t get over the betrayal, so he broke things off. She was devastated! The moral of this story is that if you are a woman dating with herpes, you MUST tell your partner before it’s too late. Imagine how he or she would feel if they contracted genital herpes from you and you never disclosed your status! One of the benefits of using herpes dating sites is that you don’t need to worry about rejection because of your status.

4. Getting Too Comfortable:
I can’t tell you how many times I have had women with herpes share with me that the only reason they stayed in a bad relationship was because their partner also had herpes. This seems to happen more frequently with couples who come together on herpes dating sites. Regardless of whether your partner has herpes or not, a woman should never stay in a bad relationship because she doesn’t think she can do any better. Over time, many women start to even forget that they have herpes, until its time to break things off. If the relationship goes bad, women often stick around longer than they should because of the fear of being rejected once again. A herpes dating site and community is of great value to lessen these fears. I coach women to really pay attention as to whether or not their relationships are only based on the fact that both partners find sanctuary in the fact that they both are infected. If so, this is a fateful disaster waiting to happen. It will eat away at one’s soul and rob a woman of her right to be have a happy and healthy relationship.

5. Small Pool of Fish:
If a woman chooses to only date within the herpes community or from herpes dating sites, then she limits herself to the number of potential partners that would otherwise be interested in dating her. This is the main reason why I never used a herpes dating site. I wanted to put my best foot forward and not limit myself to only date men with herpes. Looking back, this was a good choice for me because I met my husband through a mutual friend. Had I not given him the chance because of the fear of rejection, then we would have never come together. While there have been several women who have found their partners from these sites, I have also heard of women who have just given up and stopped dating altogether if they are not successful. All in all, I encourage women with herpes to keep an open mind as to who would and wouldn’t be open to dating them. Dating within the herpes community is a great first step, but I encourage women to get out there in the open pool if things don’t work out in the “small pool”.

6. Transmitting Herpes To A Partner:
For many women, their greatest fear is transmitting the virus to an uninfected partner. The good news is that once a woman discovers she has herpes, she can take the proper precautions to greatly decrease the risk of transmission to her partner. If a woman with herpes is dating within the herpes community, it is important that she understands the transmission of herpes. If two people have the same strain of the virus, for example, if both people have HSV-1 or herpes type 1, then the partners can not pass it back and forth between them. This “compatibility” is the same if both people have HSV-2. However, if one has HSV-1 and the other has HSV-2, then there is some chance of transmission. Having one type does protect you a bit from contracting the other.

For many, dating another person with herpes can remove one’s fear of transmitting the virus and this alone is thought to be a huge benefit to dating within the community. But just remember that if you date someone that you assume does not have herpes, there is always a very good chance that they have it too. Recent studies show that 85% of people who have herpes don’t know it. Get your partners tested! If you would like more information on dating and living with herpes, be sure to check out our FREE, private forum for women supporting women with herpes. Ask questions, get support and get inspired. You’re not alone at Pink Tent™ Forum.

Dating With Genital Herpes: Dating Yourself First

Dating With Herpes- Know Thyself

Do you have genital herpes and are terrified to date? Are you terrified of the rejection? Have you been alone, waiting to get enough courage to even talk to a guy or girl? Then I have the perfect solution for you…

Start by dating yourself!

Now that Valentine’s Day is over, you can stop thinking about your loneliness and victimhood and start thinking about all the reasons why you are an awesome catch! I first got this idea from Julia Cameron’s book “The Artist’s Way”. At the time, I was single and I wanted so much to find that perfect guy. I would imagine what our lives would be like, where we would live, what activities we would enjoy together etc… But there was one catch. I had genital herpes. At the time, I thought it would be a deal breaker, so I decided to turn inward and “date myself.” What do I mean by this?

I decided to take myself out on dates. Going to the movies, out to dinner, to art shows, skiing, candlelit baths… you name it. If it lit me up, I would make it a point every week to do at least one thing that I totally loved… AND I did it SOLO. It wasn’t that I didn’t have any friends, but I wanted to remind myself of what I loved about life and what made my heart sing. I wanted to know that even if I never met someone, I could totally love and accept myself for who I was. How could I expect someone else to love me unconditionally, if I didn’t love myself! Now I know that there are millions of women out there with genital herpes that have resigned to be alone for the rest of their lives. Hey….I’m talking to YOU. I am living proof that there is a love life after a diagnosis of genital herpes. You are your worst enemy! After I really learned to love my own company and I was able to release and surrender to the great mystery of life, my now husband came into my life. I’ll let you in on a little secret… I even bought myself a ring to signify my wholeness and completeness despite my not having met my man yet. (If you want to read about that magical experience, you’ll have to read my book: Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women).

Now, take a moment and think of the happiest and emotionally healthiest couples you know. More likely than not, they are happy because they individually know who they are: their strengths and weaknesses. Genital herpes gives us a unique opportunity to really practice and learn radical self love and this starts with two simple words… Know Thyself

How do you do this?

  1. Make a list of your favorite things to do
  2. Make a date with yourself to do one of your favorite things. (Put it in your calendar)
  3. Make a list of your best traits
  4. Whenever you feel down, refer to number 3 and do number 2
  5. Journal your experience

Believe me, your attraction quotient will soar when you start making dates with yourself on a regular basis. After getting out in the community and experiencing your birthright of joy, you will begin to evolve from the inside out. You will rediscover your awesomeness. As your self confidence begins to resurface again, then it’s time to get out in the dating scene again. I have met so many women who have used this solo time to make some fundamental lifestyle changes that dramatically shaped their lives. They began to eat better, exercise and take overall better care of themselves. Use your genital herpes diagnosis as a stepping stone toward the life you never thought was possible. Never give up on your dreams! I know I didn’t. I am now happily married and raising the most amazing little girl in Boulder, CO. None of this would have been possible if I didn’t first take the time to Know Thyself.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Amazon Bestselling Author    

Lysine: Herpes, Chocolate, and Valentine’s Day

 

Lysine: Herpes, Chocolate, and Valentine’s Day

file000163648711Valentine’s Day is here and so is our desire to eat massive amounts of chocolate. Allow me to confess…. I LOVE CHOCOLATE… In fact, my favorite dessert in the whole wide world is a Flour less Chocolate Torte- (Martha Stewart’s recipe to be exact). But…I don’t like to get herpes outbreaks.

When I work with women with herpes one-on-one and in groups, they are often surprised to hear that I am able to eat chocolate, despite the fact that it is a known trigger for herpes outbreaks. Their surprise reminds me of how I felt when I discovered that one of my favorite “gurus”, Cealo, is still known to smoke a cigar from time to time. So…how I am able to eat chocolate and not get herpes outbreaks? (Before I disclose my one word secret in person, women’s eyes widen and they lean in)

LYSINE

When I consume large amounts of chocolate, nuts, nut butters or coffee, I take lysine. You see, the problem with the above foods is that they are high in arginine, a known trigger for herpes outbreaks. Lysine, on the other hand, is proven to counteract high levels of arginine. In fact, lysine has been shown to decrease the frequency and severity of herpes outbreaks.

In the past, if I was stressed out or if I consumed large amounts of these dietary triggers, I would get a genital outbreak within days. Now, I can use lysine as part of my defense and STILL eat my chocolate torte. Hallelujah! I often use lysine proactively when I’ve consumed too much arginine in my diet and use a dosage that would be therapeutic for an active herpes infection. Typically this would be about 3000mg per day for a few days. During an active herpes outbreak, it is therapeutic to take anywhere between 3000mg-9000mg/day for several days. Some people with herpes take lysine supplements daily, while others use them only at the onset of an outbreak.

Whether you are with a partner or not this Valentine’s Day, I wanted to let you in on my little secret. Life it too short to NOT eat chocolate.

Want to learn more about my natural remedies for herpes? Check out my newest online course for women with herpes. foundations-sidebar300x250

LIVE MORE and LOVE MORE!

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly- Amazon Bestselling Author of Live, Love, and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women P.S. Want more support? Join our FREE herpes forum for Women Supporting Women With Herpes  

You Probably Have Herpes and Don’t Know It

 

You Probably Have Herpes and Don’t Know It

I came across a great article today written by Vox magazine entitled: Bad news: you probably have herpes and don’t know it.  It is so refreshing to see that there are other people out there trying to educate the public about herpes. Did you know that at least 85% of the population that has genital herpes and doesn’t even know it? This is the same virus that causes chicken pox, cold sores and shingles.  I had a friend of mine ask me, “then, how do we know that they have herpes.” What a great question!

In 2006, the largest study ever on genital herpes was conducted on a cross section of the American population.  The National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey asked people who thought that they did not have herpes to participate in the study. Each participant was then tested for herpes using type specific blood tests for HSV-2. When the tests were then analyzed, it was determined that 85% of those participants did in fact test positive for herpes. Then, the group that tested positive for HSV-2 (genital herpes) were then educated on the signs and symptoms of herpes. It was then determined that 70% of those tested were then able to positively identify previous signs and symptoms of herpes.

I have quoted this study time and again in my outreach to educate the public about the high prevalence of genital herpes. Genital herpes is the most common STI and yet no one is comfortable talking about it because of its stigma. This is just one of the many enlightening statistics that reveals the truth about herpes. I also think it is important to reveal that women are 3-4x more likely to contract herpes and at least 1 in 4 women have it. It is our time as women to stand in our power and reveal to the public the reality of this condition.

Remember how people used to openly make fun of HIV and those who suffered from it? Rarely do you hear comedians making such rude comments regarding HIV and AIDs. It is time that those with herpes take a stand and educate the public about this mostly benign infection that does not lead to any other diseases. Wake up America! The next time you poke fun of someone with herpes or make a herpes joke, know that there is a very good chance that you are making fun of your best friend or loved one that just hasn’t had the courage to disclose their status to you.

Want to get educated, empowered and inspired? Check out my Amazon bestseller Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women.  

Healing Herpes: Opening Up To Your Dreams

 

Healing Herpes: Opening Up To Your Dreams

TransformationI just spent the past several hours facilitating a Ladies Brunch and workshop on Healing Herpes in my home. What a magical event!

My Story

I opened up the afternoon by sharing my story of how fifteen years ago, I contracted herpes on a post college trekking trip high in the Himalayan mountains. I shared how my world came tumbling around me as I faced my greatest fears….that no one would ever love me again and that I would never be able to bear children naturally. Thankfully I was wrong, but I’ll never forget how that tiny, windowless room in a dilapidated backpackers hotel became my cave of isolation for three whole days. An endless stream of tears and waves of despair, anger, shame and frustration overwhelmed me. Would I…could I… have a life after a herpes diagnosis? At that time, the only ray of hope was from the crack of light piercing through the hotel room door. Everything else seemed dark…a mystery waiting to unfold. (Want to read more about my story from shame to love? Click here)

Their Stories

First and foremost, I want to acknowledge the women who shared their stories today at our Pink Tent™ event. It takes a great deal of courage to share your story publicly in a room full of women you have never met. These women stood in their power and shared some of their deepest and darkest secrets and fears. Not only were they brave enough to attend our event, but they took it a step further and dove deep into the emotional facets that bind us from healing herpes.  Feelings of shame, guilt, anger and unworthiness were at the core of every story.

Listening to these women tell their stories brought me right back to that windowless room in Katmandu. I recalled how the crack of light from the hallway pierced through my darkest of nights. How at that time, I could have never conceived the life I am living now. My dreams did come true, but back then, the brightness of the sun and the world of possibilities for me would have been too bright for me to embrace. I truly would have been blinded by the light and the plan that God or The Divine had in store for me.

After working with women from around the world,  I now realize that some women have lost access to their dreams. They have given up hope and even worse, they self sabotage their future with toxic substances and thoughts of betrayal, guilt, shame,and negative self talk. When I ask them to share with me what they want in life, they respond by saying that they have no idea. They can easily rattle off the things in life that they DON’T WANT, but they are hard pressed to even come up with one thing that they desire. They forgot what it was like to be in their joy and to feel fulfilled in their lives. Herpes was like a thief in the night, robbing these women of their dreams.

Wherever you might be on your journey of healing herpes, your first step is to share your story and know that you are not alone. Life has a way of beating us down and over time we become numb to what else is possible. Sharing your story is cathartic and our Pink Tent™ community is the perfect forum for you to get educated, empowered and inspired. Even if you think you have lost your ability to dream, you haven’t! Herpes can be devastating, but you can pick yourself up and move in the direction of your dreams.

If the word “dream” seems too out there for you or too much, just think of one small thing you can do today for yourself to bring you comfort and joy. What did you used to do when you were a little girl? Did you dance to music when no one was watching? Did you pick flowers or gaze up at the stars in wonderment? Get back in touch with your inner child. Take time to date yourself and fall in love with YOU before you even consider dating again. Go to an art show, take up dancing, or cooking. The KEY to healing herpes is to love yourself; wholly and completely. The best way to do that is to take one baby step in the right direction. Just like that crack of light piercing the night in my hotel room, think of one ray of hope for yourself and do one thing that brings you joy. Chose love and don’t let it slip away. Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Amazon bestselling author of Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide For Women

 

Smart Goal Setting: The Power Is In The Reflection

 

Smart Goal Setting: The Power Is In The Reflection

ReflectionsWith 2014 right around the corner, some of you are anxiously awaiting and preparing for your New Year’s Eve resolutions. You know that most don’t stick, right?  You want to know why? It’s because most people make a rash decision to make a change, but they have not investigated the fuel behind the fire of desire. Before you begin to even think about what dreams you have for 2014, you must first reflect on the past.

Now I know that some of you have had a very difficult 2013. Maybe even several years in a row filled with challenges or maybe your life has been filled with bliss and unexpected miracles. Either way, I can help you to create the life of your dreams. I have received personal and business coaching consistently for the past 10 years and I have learned a few things about what has worked and what has failed miserably when it comes to smart goal setting. Surprisingly enough, this post will have NOTHING to do with smart goal setting and EVERYTHING to do with it.

So where do you start? Get out a pen and paper and let’s dive deep. But first, I want to share an important analogy with you. How big is your rear view mirror in comparison to you windshield in your car? It might seem like a silly question, but actually it’s not. Obviously, the rear view mirror is significantly smaller than the windshield, but it is still important, right? The rear view mirror represents your past. A quick look in the rear view mirror and you can reflect upon what is behind you and what lies in your past. Your windshield, on the other hand, is your vision for your future. All of your hopes and dreams that lie ahead of you. You could NEVER drive your car if you were constantly looking in the rear view mirror. It only serves you to take quick glances, especially if you have a baby in the back! I want you to use this same metaphor in your life.

While your past is incredibly important, it does not define you! You can’t dwell on your past and expect to live into a brighter future. When you think about your past, I want you to reflect on the GOOD and the BAD, paying particular attention to what you have learned in the process. One of the number one questions my coach is constantly asking me is, “What is working for you in your life right now?” as opposed to “what’s NOT working?”. What amazes me is that I am constantly accessing an incredible amount of actionable information when I focus on what’s working. What do you want in your life? What could you build upon that is already working in your life to get you where you want to go? What resources do you have that could help you to get there? What gremlin might be lurking in the background that could keep you from attaining your goals?

1. Pick up your pen and paper, or start typing or dictating to Siri all of the things that come to mind when you think of 2013. Lay it all out. No filters, just write it down until nothing else comes to mind. Think of this as a brain dump for 2013. I personally have had a very full past year. In brief, I launched my book, created an online private forum for Women Supporting Women with Herpes, created an online Foundations Course for my community, became Vice President of the Colorado H Club, started my daughter in part time PreSchool, we potty trained my daughter (my biggest accomplishment) and I had a few miscarriages (that totally sucked!)

2. Identify what helped you to achieve some of your goals or what may have gone wrong with some of your mistakes. Always try to find something positive even in the midst of tragedy. For example, I could have never created an online forum for women without the help of my internet consultant. I clearly explained to him what my vision was and then I trusted that he could bring it to fruition. One of the key things I have learned this past year is to delegate the things that I cannot do and to NOT try to become an expert on things I have no business doing. It takes too much time away from the things that I love to do and I am good at doing. I dearly love to collaborate and this past year was all about collaboration and delegation to help my dreams to become a reality. As women, we often try to do it all. I did that for many years and it is absolutely exhausting! Asking for help is a lesson that everyone should learn.

3. Write down some of your key strengths and your key weaknesses

4. When you think about the future you want to create, what is your number one motivation? How would you feel if you didn’t accomplish it? What small thing could you do today to move you toward that goal?

5. Take the next few weeks to get real about where you’ve been and what you have learned. Be sure to include your victories and what was in place in your life that helped you to achieve them. Include the good, the bad and the ugly. No one will ever have to read this, so be true to yourself. The reason it is so important for you to intimately know your past in a very conscious way is because it will help you to explode your growth in the future.

One of the best tools I have used in my life for personal growth and development is my journals. I have been journaling since I was a teenager. Most of the time I just allow my thoughts to flow onto the paper without any judgement. It is from these journals that I eventually wrote my book to help women overcome the emotional and physical burdens that a diagnosis of herpes brings. Thank God for those journals to offer me insight and memories that helped me to find my path of helping others.

Whether you believe it or not, I believe that there are hidden blessings in almost all struggles in life. Believe me, I would have never thought that I would write a book about herpes, but upon reflection, I realized that I had a lot to share with my sisters around the world who were struggling with the same things I was. After the New Year, we can talk more about your dreams for the future and how to make them come true, but for now, spend your time in reflection.

I will end with a quote that my sister wrote in a journal for me many years ago before I set out on a trip around the world. “He who knows others is wise; He who knows (her) himself is enlightened.” –Lao-tzuThe Way of Lao-tzu Chinese philosopher (604 BC – 531 BC)

Know Thyself!!!!

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Amazon best-selling author of Live, Love, and Thrive with Herpes  

Looking For Some Natural Energy Boosters?

 

The Best Way To Get Your Natural Energy Boost

Energy Boosting MeditationAre you feeling exhausted? In overdrive? Too much sugar and not enough sleep? I know that it is so easy to get hooked on coffee and energy drinks, especially during the rush before the holidays. That little red cup from Starbucks is so alluring when you can barely keep your eyes open. What if there were natural energy boosters you could use that would be good for you? Would that be something that would interest you?

Before I share with you my favorite remedy to pick up my energy, I want to offer you a replacement for your warm cup of coffee. Have you ever tried green tea? There is a ton of literature that points to the benefits to green tea including its antioxidant polyphenols, antiviral, and weight loss to name a few. The most important thing to note about green tea is that all is not created equal. Most conventional green tea is sprayed with pesticides and fungicides which is very toxic to the body. Be sure to drink only organic green tea! Now for my favorite natural energy booster!

Many years ago, while I was training in Qi Gong, my teacher taught me a meditation to rejuvenate the mind and increase one’s energy. While I had always used meditation to calm me down, I had never thought about a meditation to lift me up and energize me. While I would never encourage you to do this in place of getting a good night’s rest, there are times when you just need a little pick me up. Not only is Red Bull, coffee, soda and other stimulants bad for your adrenal glands, immune system and gut, they can be totally addictive. So the more you travel down that rabbit whole, the deeper you’ll go and it is hard to break such bad habits.

For those of you who suffer from herpes, these drinks can trigger an outbreak over night for all of the above are high in arginine and sugar, known culprits for triggers. So, instead of reaching for your next fix, try this simple meditation to clear your mind and improve your energy state. I have found that even 15 minutes of this natural energy boosting meditation allows me to feel like I’ve had an hour or more of deep sleep. Listen to the instructions on how to do the meditation, then do it on your own for as long as you are able.

Holiday Stress: Loving More This Holiday Season

 

Holiday Stress: Loving More This Holiday Season

Holiday Stress: Cookie Making A Gingerbread HouseChristmas has always been my favorite time of year. Each year it sparks an inner light that takes me back to the wonderment of Santa Claus, Christmas Carols, baking cookies and decorating the tree. I look forward to getting out the ceramic Santa Clause cookie plate I made when I was a little girl. It still has the yellowed crack in it from when we glued Santa’s hat back on. And lets not forget the homemade Christmas tree bell ornaments made from upside down wax paper cups covered in aluminum foil from when I was in Preschool. Now that Maddie is in Preschool, I can’t wait to make some ornaments with her this year.

As the outside temperatures drop, the light and warmth of the hearth draws me inward. Not everyone has a beloved “kookamonga” family, as I endearingly call them, to go home to. I am so blessed to have such a loving family I can fly home to each and every year. While on the outside, our tree might be perfectly trimmed, even we have holes in the tree that we fill up with ornaments to hide the void. No family is without its trials and tribulations or holiday stress. Whether you have a family that you are close to or not, no holiday is complete without a little bit of tension and stress. People might snap at you, your tree might fall off the roof of your car, or your bank account might be incredibly thin. And let’s not forget all the extra sugar, caffeine, alcohol and junk food that are fueling your system! Maybe this even triggered an outbreak for you. This stress can ruin a holiday if you let it! So, what is the trick to move through the holidays with ease and grace? Loving what is!

What’s that, you might ask? It is about loving whatever and whomever is in your life right now. Maybe you are all alone this holiday season. Maybe you have a crazy family member that always pushes your buttons. Maybe your health is not very good right now. Whatever it is, you can find that place of grace. Here’s the key to your peace. Ready? You might not be able to control your environment, but you can control how you react to it.

What would it look like if you responded to your environment this holiday season with gratitude and love? Whenever something or someone triggers you, take a deep breath and reconnect to your heart space. Instead of immediately reacting, ask yourself a few questions. What, in this moment are you grateful for? Is there an opportunity to connect on a deeper level? Is your knee jerk reaction to defend your position to be right? Is there a lesson to be learned? Could you respond with a greater capacity for love for yourself or another? What might your friend or family member really need in this moment? Is this something our Pink Tent forum could support you in?

When we can take a moment and pause, we can truly be in the present moment as opposed to reacting to our old past. As family and friends come together, sometimes old wounds are triggered and we act from a place in the past….an often wounded past. If you are struggling financially, do you have enough for today and if so, then only take on today. So, instead of flipping your finger off to the guy that steals your parking space, take a deep breath and consciously choose your next step. Would it be so crazy for you to wish him love and light? Maybe if you knew his holiday story, you would be more compassionate toward him.

The holiday season is truly an opportunity to expand your heart and to practice forgiveness. It is a time to count our blessings, for whatever you might be going through, it could be worse. Take the time to randomly write down all the things you are grateful for and place the list where you can see it everyday. As you begin to focus on what IS working in your life and truly loving the present for what it is, it becomes the very best present you could ever give yourself. Sending you lots of love and light, wherever you are this holiday season. I can’t wait to meet you in our women’s only forum for women supporting women with herpes.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Author of Amazon’s bestselling book, Live, Love, and Thrive with Herpes: A Holistic Guide for Women