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Herpes Diagnosis: The One Secret To Discovering Love

Herpes Diagnosis: The One Secret To Discovering Love



Hope After A Herpes Diagnosis- A Day Of Celebration
I awoke this morning at 6:30AM to the sun piercing through the leaves of our apple tree and the birds chirping to a song all their own. While my husband and little girl lie sleeping, I quietly slipped out of bed to ponder life and sit in silence on my hot pink meditation cushion. This day already felt different. Six years ago, I married my best friend and soul mate.


My heart was bursting with gratitude for the life that I am living. I have so many things to be grateful for and in the next 48 hours, I will raise up my hands, dance, sing and give thanks for my husband Richard and our beautiful little girl, Madeline.



Hopes Shattered By A Herpes Diagnosis 

DSC_0064 (1)Over the past several years, I have had the unique opportunity to coach women with herpes. Who would have ever thought that this would be my niche. I mean REALLY…who would ever sign up to be in the limelight as the doctor with herpes who decided to share her story as a vehicle of hope and support for other women?

The truth is, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Has it been a challenging journey? Yes! But what has made it challenging, is not the full blown exposure of everyone knowing that I have herpes; rather, it has been the heartache of realizing how many women out there are suffering. Their hearts and hopes shattered by their herpes diagnosis. Just last week I was working with a woman who shared with me that all she really wanted in life was to feel loved again. She felt that after her diagnosis, she could no longer give and receive love as she had done before. Her whole self concept was being challenged! As I sat with her, I felt her pain as if it were my own and yet I knew the love that was possible for her IF, she was willing and able to move through her grief.

You see, there are two types of pain that we women with herpes must learn to deal with.

1. The Physical Pain of herpes symptoms
2. The Emotional Pain associated with the stigma and our threatened self concept, self worth and self esteem.

While the physical pain is a whole conversation in and of itself (there are several strategies from antivirals to natural remedies), the Emotional Pain can often be the number one thing that barricades us into a world of isolation, shame and fear. What I have learned from the women I have worked with and those I have read about is that the difference between those who discover love again and those that don’t is one and only one thing. What might this ONE Secret ingredient be? HOPE Close your eyes and feel into the love that you deserve and know that there is someone out there who will love and support you just the way you are. You must know that you are Loveable Capable A True Catch Even if all hope seems lost right now, I promise you that it doesn’t have to be. You get to choose the thoughts that you tell yourself. If you truly desire a loving partnership after your herpes diagnosis, you must first start by unconditionally loving yourself. You are worth the love that you so desire AND that love is just waiting to dive into your heart. LOVE THYSELF How?

Write a love letter to yourself Take yourself out to dinner Make a collage with the visual reminders of all the things you love about yourself and your life If I can find love…so can YOU. Just BELIEVE! I am no different than you. If I can find love…so can you. Use your imagination in the beginning of imagining the man of your dreams and focus on that NOT on NOT having that yet. I send you my blessings and faith that I have in you to overcome this herpes diagnosis. Please share your story and allow the women of Pink Tent™ to support you.


Oral Sex and Herpes: Liz’s Story

Purple flower

Oral Sex and Herpes: I came to terms with it . . .I was diagnosed one year ago at the age of 19. It was a complete shock. I had only been sexually active with one person in a monogomous relationship. My boyfried was unaware that having had past cold sores on his mouth could lead to me contracting herpes. He hadn’t had a cold sore in years and we believe I got it through oral sex. It was very difficult to understand but with the support of my boyfriend and through educating myself about it, I came to terms with it. Trust me, for months afterwards it was always on my mind and I noticed people’s comments about STDs a lot more. People do not understand that its neither funny nor cool to joke about herpes or any other STD. It can happen to anyone; we are all at risk. I firmly believe now that sex is NEVER safe- it is a risk and it is one that should be assessed maturely before committing yourself to it.Now one year later, I recently became sexually active with another guy. I was terrified about telling him. I believed he would run away and never speak to me again. I could barely get the words out but as soon as I began speaking all my tension went away as I realized he was not scared, nor was he looking at me any differently. He told me he likes me for me and that I should not worry about it. He told me he was very glad I told him about it. I couldn’t have asked for a better response. We have had sex together and so far he has no symptoms. We also went to the doctor separately to have some other STD tests taken. It is everyone’s responsibility to discuss these issues. Having herpes or hpv or syphilis does not change who you are. It can be managed and no matter what, do not think that future relationships will be destroyed. If someone cares about you a lot, they will do what they can to be with you. I have had 2 outbreaks after my initial outbreak since then. I believe I am experiencing my second currently. Its not as severe as the first one. I have valtrex but I am trying to treat this on my own to understand how long a recurring outbreak is and how severe. I am also going to be taking lysine supplementes this week to see if that speeds up the process. I hope my story helps. I’ve come a long way since my initial diagnosis and I know that you will too. I wish you luck and self-love and encourage you to take control over your sex life- no matter how “safe” you believe you are. Good luck and remember, you are neither the first nor the last to be diagnosed with herpes. You will feel better, I promise. 🙂

Herpes Forum: Worldwide Support For Women With Herpes


Herpes Forum: Worldwide Support For Women With Herpes

Just two weeks ago we opened up our Beta Herpes Forum for a handful of women from our founder’s circle. I was so excited to get the conversations rolling! Within a few days, it was clear to us that the platform we built it on would not work for us. I took it in stride and went back to the drawing board. There have been so many times in this Pink Tent journey that I could have easily given up, but I haven’t and I won’t. I am committed to providing women living with herpes the support they need. Now, fast forward to this weekend.

On Friday morning, I packed up my bags and headed out to Shoshoni Retreat center for a morning yoga and meditation class. I had never been there before and for some reason, I thought it was in Nederland and not in Rollingsville; 13 miles further up the road. I had left myself plenty of time to get there, but with my husband not able to find the car keys right before I left and an extra 13 miles, I arrived for a 10AM class a few minutes late.

With paperwork still to sign, I opted to walk in during the break after the meditation and settle into the beauty that surrounded me. Once again, I opted to surrender to the journey. For there are things that we can control, and things that we can’t. The choice to surrender to those things we cannot change is a powerful practice!

After class, I met with a yoga instructor and woman who is part of our Pink Tent community. She shared with me her vision of creating a retreat for women within our community. I couldn’t believe my ears as she described exactly what I have always envisioned for the women of Pink Tent. After our lunch together, I hiked to the Buddha Rocks she had described to me. The dirt path through the thick green forest was almost surreal. The smell of pine was intoxicating and the profound silence held me in wonder. What would these buddha rocks look like? How much farther did I need to go? Would I find the blue trail as it split from the red trail?

As I walked, I contemplated my visions for Pink Tent herpes forum and felt as if I was walking into a metaphor for what I wanted to create. In the thickness of the wood, there was clearly one path that others had walked. As long as I followed it and looked for the signs, I would arrive at my destination. If not, I could easily get lost. “Am I there yet?” I asked myself several times.

When I finally arrived, I was in awe of the Buddha and the other painted deities. Smaller rocks stacked precariously on top of one another were placed at the feet of buddha. As the noon day sun shone down on me on that rocky escarpment, I carefully chose a pink rock, said my prayer and placed it at Buddha’s feet.

Living with herpes can certainly be challenging. There are times that you will feel lost in the forest and wonder how you strayed off your path. Maybe you started self medicating with alcohol, food, or drugs once you were diagnosed. Maybe you stayed in an unhealthy relationship too long because of the fear of rejection or guilt. Maybe your swore off dating for the fear of having to disclose your status.

My vision is that Pink Tent forum will be an oasis for women with herpes who need support. You no longer need to walk this walk alone. There are so many woman who have been where you are and know exactly what you are going through. They can help you to get back on your path. Allow the Pink Tent women who have come before you share with you their secrets and stories of inspirations. This will be a private forum, for women ONLY. No longer will you need to worry about your herpes status getting out on the internet. Unlike Facebook, we will not be constantly changing our privacy settings. We will be using top notch security so that the content will NOT be searchable by Google or any other search engines.

I know that in order to heal on a deep level, we must be able to share what’s on our hearts and minds in a sacred place. The women of Pink Tent will keep your secrets tucked away. Can you imagine how your life will be touched once we launch Pink Tent forum? I wish I had this 15 years ago when I didn’t know where to turn for answers. We will be launching our beta forum in the next week and will open it up to all of our members in the next few weeks. Stay posted! In the Fall 2013, we will be launching a Foundations Course that will totally transform your relationship with herpes! I can’t wait to release it! If you haven’t done so already, become a member of Pink Tent and get on the path to live, love and thrive!