Dr. Kelly

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Facebook Live Full Moon Forgiveness Ceremony

Forgiveness: Forgiving The Unforgiven

What should you do when the PAST calls?

Hang UP!

It has nothing for you!~Sandra Yancey: Founder E-Women Network

My journey of forgiveness

My husband, Richard, and I spent this past weekend cleaning out our safe and file cabinets. I must admit that I have been dreading this!
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I have been in business for myself since 2004 and have kept ALL of my receipts! Yep…that’s right! It’s 2018 now and my file cabinets were bursting at the seams!
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In addition to business receipts, I’m a sucker for personal memorabilia!

So, as Richard fired up the chiminea in the back yard, I started purging, while he proceeded to do the burning.

It snowed ashes in our back yard, while the gentle snow kept on falling!

In the last hours of burning with my husbands hair filled with snow and ashes, I came across a more recent letter from the Delaware Department of Justice.

It was the final correspondence that finalized the pardon of the teacher who sexually abused me from about age 12-18 years old.

In the Spring of 2017 (exactly 1 year prior to the pardon), I was notified by the Victim Services Department from the Department of Justice, that my former teacher was requesting a pardon for the Sexual Abuse felonies he committed decades ago.

Bare in mind that after I came forward at the age of 23 years old, 3 other women did too.

Unfortunately, my case was the only one that had enough evidence for conviction.
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This case went to the supreme court and challenged and extended Delaware’s laws around the statue of limitations.

In the spring of 2017, I was offered the opportunity to attend the public hearing or write a “victim statement” to be read on my behalf.

Even the term “victim” triggered me and a whole ocean of feelings and turmoil arose again for me to heal, even though I thought I was done with healing. (more on that another time)

I did end up writing that statement in the Spring of 2017, so that my story still had a voice.

AND

I want YOU to have a voice too!

Here is why this is important to you.

If the PAST calls…HANG the #$@! up! It has NOTHING for you!

What I mean is that that letter has no business being in my life.

I guess I’ve kept it for the last 6 months because when I would read it, I would get fired up, angry and passionate about taking a stand for women and helping them to find their voices.

Of course it made me ill to even look at the envelope, but I thought I needed it to keep my passion strong for helping women rise in their power.

It has taken me a few days of hanging out in my pj’s, processing my emotions and finally talking to my sister and dear friend today to realize that…

​​​​​​​there is NOTHING GOOD coming out of the ANGER I have carried towards the pardoning of this man and the governor who granted the pardon, despite the board of directors voting in my favor.

So, after a powerful forgiveness exercise today, out in nature, with the sun on my face and God granting me GRACE…

I released and forgave these men.

For ME and YOU…I choose PEACE…

I no longer need the anger to fuel my flame!

So, I have decided to choose forgiveness and I’ll  burn that letter too, but I need your help.

I truly believe that we must all Forgive if we are meant to live our BEST lives.

So, it’s time for me to burn this letter, and finally heal from my past.
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​​​​​​This is where you come in.

Who do you need to forgive?
What do you need to let go of?
What emotions or memories keep you held in bondage?

If not NOW then WHEN?

It’s our time ladies!

This is why I am cordially inviting you to join me on the

Full Moon Forgiveness Fire Ceremony

#forgiveandlive

Where: Facebook Live: Register Here
Wednesday October 24th 5PM MST

where I will burn this letter on Facebook Live and you too will burn your letter and finally release it back to where it came from.

My story does NOT define me and neither does YOURS.

You are no longer ALONE and we as sisters will gather in sisterhood and burn up our PAST.

All you need to do is to write a letter to someone you need to forgive.  Maybe it’s yourself!

We will allow these letters of forgiveness or letters of grief or whatever you no longer need from your past to return to where they came from.

You have less than 1 week to find your letter or write one, so that you can stand in your power and be set free!

For the rise of YOU
​​​​​​​For the rise of ME
For the rise of SHE~Rebecca Campbell: Light Is The New Black

We are on this journey together dear sisters! I am a stand for you!

Let’s HANG up the calls from the PAST and set ourselves FREE!

I am honored to be on this journey with you

Feel free to share with us in the comments below who or what you will be releasing!

Please forward this to your friends and let’s rise sisters!

The healing power of community is exponential.

Access Peace and Power like never before!

You ARE FREE!

#forgiveandlive

 

https://www.facebook.com/events/348840322518465/

 

Evening Primrose Oil For Breast Cysts and PCOS

Evening Primrose Helped My Breast Cysts

I just ordered some more Evening Primrose. For 2 decades I suffered from fibrocystic breasts (breast cysts). Then, I started taking Evening Primrose about 6 months ago and I am amazed at the difference it has made in my life. The swelling has gone down significantly and I barely even notice the cysts. In fact, some are totally gone! The therapeutic dose for me is 1300 mg per day. This oil is also great for treating PCOS, ovarian cysts, skin blemishes and many other hormonal imbalances. Interested it trying it? Go to the link below and order some!

Are you an all natural woman? Learn how to manage herpes naturally in an exclusive interview with Dr. Kelly and famous herbalist, Brigette Mars.

Herpes Diet: Managing Herpes Symptoms With Fall Veggies

Herpes SymptomsHerpes Diet: Managing Herpes Symptoms With Fall Veggies
By Contributing Author Stephanie

As those of us who have read Dr. Kelly’s Book Live, Love & Thrive with Herpes know, diet can have a huge affect on how our bodies experience the herpes virus.  Whether it’s the balance between lysine and arginine in our bodies, or simply eating well to support our immunity, it is important to actively support our bodies through our diet. This is a key to managing our herpes symptoms.  In this blog, I will go over some of the fall vegetables you can eat to support your body in suppressing future herpes outbreaks.  I strongly suggest referring back to Dr. Kelly’s previous blog on lysine and arginine for reference, as it explains how and why lysine is helpful in preventing outbreaks and arginine can be a trigger for outbreaks.

Root vegetables and squash are common fall vegetables that are delicious and nutritious for our bodies! Most vegetables have fairly high amounts of lysine.  Did you know that wheat and other grains contain high levels of arginine? This is why it is not uncommon for people diagnosed with herpes to go gluten free. If we can replace our grains  (which contain high levels of arginine) with vegetables high in complex carbs, our bodies will likely thank us. Of course this is a personal choice, but if you suffer from constant outbreaks, you can always test out this method to see if it helps you!

Some fall vegetables I love that are either higher in lysine than arginine or about equal in amounts of the two according to the sources I have researched are: beets, turnips, select squashes, and potatoes (white and sweet).

A great way to get the most out of these delicious fall foods is to pair them with foods we know are very high in lysine. One amazing recipe that comes to mind is roasted beets with goat cheese.  If you have never tried roasted red beets with goat cheese, I suggest you do so soon. If your recipe calls for nuts, you should omit them, since nuts are another known herpes trigger.

Another great and super easy recipe is roasted acorn squash filled with yogurt. Yogurts containing probiotics in the form of live cultures can also help boost our immunity to better manage herpes symptoms (assuming you are not dairy free).  If this is the case, there are dairy free yogurts made with coconut milk. High levels of probiotics and lysine in this meal, or dessert, make it an excellent and healthy choice for the season.  Since sugar affects the body in a way that prevents us from fighting off viruses, it is important to minimize our intake of sugar to prevent future outbreaks.  This is one of many delicious squash recipes that can easily double as a sweet dessert.

One last recipe that incorporates fall veggies with other foods containing high amounts of lysine is this Italian fagioli soup recipe.  This recipe is great for those cold and busy months and is packed with root veggies and squash.  The ground turkey is a great addition, as turkey is one meat in particular that is very high amounts in lysine.  You will even get some lysine from the parmesan cheese on top! I urge you all to take a look at some of the different recipes you can try to incorporate some of the seasonal vegetables into your diet throughout these colder months.

Keeping veggies in our diet consistently is so important for our health, regardless of living with herpes or not; but of course if we can decrease our herpes symptoms at the same time, why wouldn’t we do it?

book_LiveLove300Make sure to check out Dr. Kelly’s book to learn more about how diet and supplements can support your body as you learn to navigate your herpes symptoms!  

Misdiagnosis of Herpes Symptoms In Women

Did you know that herpes symptoms in women can be confused with many common conditions? 85% of people with herpes don’t know they have it! Common symptoms include blisters, sores, itchy areas, tingling, burning, painful urination, skin fissures and cracks, skin ulcers, swollen lymph nodes, fatigue, depression, pain down the leg, flu like symptoms, body aches and watery vaginal discharge; but how do you know if it is herpes? I have worked with women who were misdiagnosed with several other ailments before they were ever PROPERLY diagnosed with herpes.

Why does this happen?

Herpes is truly the Great Masquerader. Doctors and patients alike misdiagnose herpes all the time. Here is a chart of what women with herpes think they have and what men with herpes think they have.

What Women With Herpes Think They Have What Men With Herpes Think They Have
Yeast Infection Folliculitis
Urinary Tract Infection Jock Itch
Menstrual Complaints Normal Itch
Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids
Heat Rash Zipper Burn
Urethral Syndrome Insect or Spider Bite
Allergy to condoms, spermicides, sperm, elastic/pantyhose Allergies to condoms
Irritation from bike seat, shaving, douching Irritation from bike seat, tight jeans, sexual intercourse
As you can see, it would be very easy to misdiagnosis herpes in women AND men. So, if you have any or many of these symptoms, especially if they are reoccurring, I suggest that you seek medical advice. You have to take control of your health and sometimes it means challenging your doctor’s diagnosis. There have been times when I have encouraged women to demand a herpes blood test. Not knowing can drive you crazy! A simple blood test paired with a thorough exam can determine your herpes status. You can find a herpes testing center near you.  I also recommend getting screened for other STI’s.
If you end up testing positive for herpes, Pink Tent (TM) is here it support you. We are committed to educate, empower and inspire women with herpes to live, love and thrive. If you reside in the Boulder/Denver area, check our www.ColoradoHFriends.com. We host monthly discussion groups, social events and women’s brunches. Take a stand for your health and get tested!
Live. Love. Thrive.

 

Overcoming Herpes Depression with Passion

Herpes depression is a real thing for many women. It can be overwhelming and leave women feeling all alone.

It’s not that you don’t have enough Zoloft running through your veins, it’s just that you are believing your thoughts about what it means to have herpes.

Most of you are thinking that…

No one will ever love me OR

My symptoms will NEVER get under control OR

People are going to think of me differently.

While these are all common thoughts, they do not need to be your TRUTH.

The truth is that you CAN overcome these thoughts about this diagnosis and rediscover hope, healing, and happiness.

If you are tired of feeling depressed…here is what you need to do.

You need to get out of your head and back into your heart!

While you probably haven’t felt like doing the things you love to do and are passionate about….I’m here to kick your butt and tell you that it is time to return to your passions, even if it is just for 30 minutes.

Here is a quick video from me to you from the beautiful mountains of Colorado. I wanted to send it to you yesterday, but I guess it was meant to happen today.

You know why? I just found out that Warren Miller, a ski movie icon, at 93 years old died today. He created a whole industry and lifestyle around his number one passion, skiing. I was introduced to him and his ski movies at the age of 8. Here is a video that I dedicate to him. May you rediscover your passions and not give up on happiness!

How do you define yourselves as women with herpes?

How do you define yourselves as women with herpes?

By Contributing Author Stephanie

Lizzie Velasquez is undoubtedly an incredibly inspiring woman.  She has overcome so much negativity in her lifetime, it is unreal. Some of you may be asking: what do we have in common with her?  Others of you may see the connection instantly. What Lizzie has to teach us, as women with herpes, is how to love ourselves unconditionally not despite our condition but because of our condition.

At the begging of her TED talk, Lizzie talks about the benefits of her condition.  I think we can all learn from her dedication to finding the silver lining.  Despite all the hardships her condition has given her, she chooses to recognize the positive aspects that it has brought to her life.  Being diagnosed with genital herpes can be a devastating and traumatic experience – it certainly was for me – but we will all benefit from highlighting the benefits our diagnoses bring to our lives.

  1. We know that when someone we have had “the talk” with sticks around, that person sees past our physical attributes and cares deeply for our character.
  2. We are more compassionate individuals having gone through a medical diagnosis and experiencing first hand how that can change the way people view themselves.
  3. We likely date differently and really get to know a person before sharing our sexual selves with someone.

These are just a few positive aspects that herpes has brought to my own life, and I am sure many of you share the same experiences, whether you have recognized them yet or not.

As women with herpes, it can be easy to define ourselves based on a virus; but what Lizzie has to teach us is that we are so much more than that!

I encourage you all to think about how you define yourselves.  If you do define yourself based on your herpes diagnosis, think about how that might be negatively affecting your life and your happiness.  Now, I challenge you all to define yourself based on the things that actually matter like the kind of person you are or the kinds of things you do.  Finally, sense how big of a difference that shift of your definition made and imagine how it can continue to positively influence your life.

I hope Lizzie has inspired you all as much as she has inspired me! I hope you all use her beauty as motivation to define yourselves based on that inner beauty that you all possess.  Now, celebrate yourselves!

 

About Stephanie

Hi Everyone! My name is Stephanie.  I was diagnosed with HSV-2 in April of 2014 when I was 22 years old.  Right now, almost three years later, I am a doctoral student in the sociology department at Purdue University.  I recently completed my MA in sociology at the University of Northern Colorado where I explored the role of stigma in the process of disclosing a genital herpes diagnosis.  With that said, if anyone is interested in reading what I discovered in my project, I am happy to share that with you! I plan to continue advocating for our community, as well as studying the social factors that influence sexual health in order to understand how we can create a world that is easier for people diagnosed with STIs.  I really enjoy writing for the Pink Tent community and am excited to be able to share some of my experiences and thoughts about living with genital herpes with you all.

 

How Herpes affects Women’s Sexuality

aloneHow Herpes affects Women’s Sexuality

Contributing Author: Stephanie

Many anthropologists, sociologists, and feminist theorists have explored the reasoning behind women’s sexuality, or rather the reasoning for the almost absence of women’s sexuality in today’s society.  Because women’s ability to have sexual desires based on their own personal desires, and not those of a man, is frequently discredited by mainstream society, women’s sexuality automatically becomes discredited as a whole.  The idea that sexuality is socially constructed based on things we learn from media, religion, schools, and other great institutions is a common theory.

Scholars in this area have also taken specific interest in the way that an STD diagnosis might affect how a person experiences sexuality based on the social construction and meaning on the diagnosis.  

Women’s sexuality is already invalidated, so an STD diagnosis simply invalidates it further based on her supposed deviation form the female sexual norm (having sexual desires, acting upon them, and being diagnosed with an STD because of those actions).

There are plenty of articles and scholarly works out there discussing this issue from an outside perspective, but I would like to share my personal experience of dealing with my new sexual identity after being diagnosed with herpes. I would like to emphasize that my perspective is very heterosexual, for lack of a better term, but I believe there will be plenty of parallels for those who identify elsewhere on the spectrum.

As I feel many young women believe when they first begin to experience their sexual selves, my sexuality was based solely on what I thought my male partner wanted.

Neither the media, school, nor my parents had ever taught me what sex or intimacy should be from a woman’s perspective.  It was always based on heterosexual male pleasure.

That being the case, when I learned I had herpes I felt I could no longer fulfill those sexual desires for someone else again because I was no longer desirable to men based on my new label as a “sexual deviant.”

I would like to break down my experience into stages that coincide with Dr. Kelly’s “Stages of Grief” in her book Live, Love, & Thrive with Herpes in hopes that many of you can connect to one, a few, or maybe even all of them as you begin to find sexual freedom after your diagnosis.

Stages to Sexual Freedom:

  1. Avoidance
    • Reference Stage One: Trauma and Denial, and Stage Two: Feelings of Rage from Dr. Kelly’s “Stages of Grief”
  2. Settling
    • Reference Stage Three: Profound and Prolonged Sadness
  3. Fear of Control
    • This stage triggers Stage Four of the “Stages of Grief,” Communicating and Reaching Out
  4. Freedom
    • Reference Stage Five: Surrender and Acceptance, and Stage Six: Empowerment

Avoidance (Trauma and Denial/Feelings of Rage)
When I was first diagnosed I had an irrational fear of spreading herpes to anyone I had any sexual contact with at all.  I say irrational, because as I learned more about the transmission of the virus, I discovered there are plenty of ways to reduce the likelihood of transmission as well as ways avoid the possibility of transmission completely.  

Because of my fear, during this stage I completely avoided any situation that could lead to sexual desire, including dating.  

Trauma and Denial, as Dr. Kelly emphasizes in her book, played a huge role in my avoidance.  The trauma of my diagnosis as well as my denial made disclosure impossible at the time.  I was not ready to disclose my situation with someone, and I knew I had to do so before becoming intimate again.

Settling (Profound and Prolonged Sadness)
Looking back on my journey, this stage brings me the most sadness, which directly relates to Dr. Kelly’s explanation of Stage Three in her book.

During the “Settling” stage my mind set was to “take what I can get.”  If a man said he loved me or that he found me irresistible despite my herpes I thought I had to reciprocate those feelings.  This is because I thought it was so incredibly rare for a man to feel these things about me after my diagnosis that it might be my only chance to find love or intimacy again.  

After going through this stage, my blunt advice is that this is NOT TRUE.  There will be many men or women that love you and find you undoubtedly sexy not despite your herpes, but almost by virtue of your herpes and the woman it has created.

Fear of Control (Communicating and Reaching Out)
This stage was by far the longest of the four because it took me so long time to understand my thought process during it.  

As women we already sometimes feel a lack of control with our sexuality and sexual decisions based on the submissiveness we learn from society.  After I began to seek intimacy again after settling for men I did not necessarily desire, I found it… but on someone else’s terms.

I believed that I no longer had the right to share my opinions about what I desired sexually because it was unfair to ask someone to put himself at risk for my pleasure.  What I learned after verbally expressing my thoughts to loved ones was that I have just as much control over how I experience sex and intimacy as I did before.  

I was afraid to take control of my sexuality again because that could mean putting someone else at risk.  What I didn’t realize is that if I had disclosed my diagnosis and shared the transmission risks with my partner I had done my part in keeping him safe.  

This is where Dr. Kelly’s stage on communicating and reaching out becomes so important.  Without my ability to do so, I may not have allowed control back into my intimate experiences.

Freedom (Surrender and Acceptance/Empowerment)
After effectively communicating and finding the ability to reach out and seek advice from friends and family, I am finally able to enjoy my sexuality and be at peace with my diagnosis.

I have accepted that I cannot have spontaneous sexual encounters without putting others at risk, and I now understand how that is not at all a curse; it is actually a true blessing.

I have accepted that I need to be at a more intimate level with someone before I share my sexuality with them in order to feel comfortable and in control of the situation.  Once again, this has proved to be a huge blessing in my life.

Finally, I have accepted that my herpes diagnosis has not hindered or tainted my sexuality in any way, but rather it has forced me to embrace every piece of my self in order to find true intimacy with another person.

I encourage you all, as I always do, to find the silver lining in situations where you feel that your herpes might have given you the short end of the stick.  I can guarantee that once you start searching, you will find all the amazing ways that herpes has allowed you to grow as a woman in every way, including your sexual being.