dealing with the shame of herpes

Tag: dealing with the shame of herpes

2 Step Process To Overcome A Herpes Diagnosis

2 Step Process To Overcome A Herpes Diagnosis

Springtime: Overcoming Herpes

Over the past few weeks, I have been inundated with requests for private coaching. I don’t know if it is linked to Spring, the season of renewal, or if it is just coincidental. Either way, I feel so blessed to be privy to women’s deepest darkest secrets. Springtime truly is a time of change and renewal. We move from the darkness and introspection of winter and transition into the warmth and growth of Spring.

As the crocus pokes through the patches of snow and newly sprung grass, so too do our souls want to move toward the direction of personal growth. Most women reach out to me because they have been diagnosed with genital herpes and they just can’t seem to psychologically overcome it. Whether it’s alcoholism, abuse, an eating disorder or an embarrassing medical condition…you name it… everyone has a skeleton in their closet that keeps them from living a full and vibrant life. 

The Springtime is the PERFECT time to shed a light on those shadows, so that they no longer trap us in FEAR. As Francois de La Rochefoucauld said, “The only thing constant in life is change” So whether you are in that place of shock and chaos or in a place of peace and gratitude, what I can be certain of is that eventually things will change. Something is going to come along and rock your boat. The question then becomes, how will you RESPOND to change? Resistance is futile! So, how does one move from the shock and overwhelm of a herpes diagnosis, to a place of peace and acceptance?

The answer is in the ability to FEEL and FLOW. If you are in the midst of chaos, this is THE two step punch to move you through it so that you can rediscover the peace and acceptance you deserve.

Step One: FEEL
If you find yourself in a state of overwhelm, sadness or chaos, the first step is to truly FEEL all that you are feeling. Place your hand on your heart and acknowledge how you are really feeling. In the case of a diagnosis of herpes- there are probably feelings of sadness, shame, grief and loneliness. Say to yourself-YES, this did happen to me and I will feel the sadness and not fight it. Then, scan your body and discover where you are feeling your feelings the strongest. Maybe it is in your heart or in your stomach. Wherever it is, place your hands on that area and breath into it, not trying to change it.

Step Two: FLOW
Now that you have acknowledged your feelings, allow the emotions to move through your body. Emotions are just ENERGY in MOTION. If we try to suppress them, then the energy gets stuck in our body, later to manifest as physical disease or imbalance. Once we FEEL this energy in motion, then it can FLOW through us. It is the stuck energy that harms us long term. To be in the state of FLOW is to truly be in the art of allowing. It is during this state that we can call upon our higher self or God, or the Divine… whatever you believe in. Ask for guidance, healing and peace and then let it go. It is in this art of allowing that you will be guided to your next step in healing.

Use this two step approach for any challenge that comes your way. Believe me, I now know that my greatest challenges in life have been my greatest teachers. Many might find this absurd, but I can truly state that my diagnosis of herpes was truly a gift. It has enabled me to have much more compassion for others and it has guided me to YOU….the Women of Pink Tent. You are the most resilient, powerful and strong women I have ever met. If you truly want to be bigger than your herpes and you want to be stronger and healthier than ever before, use your diagnosis of herpes as a catalyst for BIG CHANGES. Changes that you get to declare and make happen.

As Elizabeth Lesser, Cofounder of Omega Institute For Holistic Studies said: “I’ve found that the changes I feared would ruin me have always become doorways, and on the other side I have found a more courageous and graceful self.” Declare today that you are worthy of radical self love and peace.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Martin Schuh Author of Amazon Bestselling Book Live, Love and Thrive with Herpes    

Shame Of Herpes: Impact On A Woman’s Body Image

Shame Of Herpes: Impact On A Woman’s Body Image

Body Image of Woman With HerpesA woman’s self concept is so often tied to her looks. While on the outside she might be stunning, the shame of herpes leaves her feeling broken and undesirable. The shame of herpes is devastating to a woman’s sense of self worth and beauty. After a diagnosis of herpes, it is not uncommon for a woman to go through long periods of depression and isolation. Feeling broken and like damaged goods, women are convinced that they are now like lepers of the past. While many women learn to overcome this initial shock and body distortion, many women are never able to feel their beauty and access their sexual power again. If you are one of those women…. This article is for YOU!

In a society that values material possessions and model like looks, it can be challenging to develop a strong and healthy self esteem. What would our world look like if we upheld women on a pedestal for their inner beauty as much as their outer beauty? As I sat down this morning to do my daily practice, I read a prayer that spoke directly to my heart and soul. I immediately knew that I had to share this with my Pink Tent™ community of Women Supporting Women With Herpes. So, here it is…from the Daily Word

Temple: I bless my body temple

“Each day I take time to bless my body temple and affirm my strength, health, beauty, and vitality….As I awaken to the truth of my body’s holiness, I become aware of practices and habits I want to add or change to support my ever-increasing health and strength. Changes in food, activities, or attitude may be in order” (Daily Word, A Unity Publication March 2015).

No matter what your spiritual background is, I am confident that if each and every woman with herpes began to affirm this blessing daily, their shame of herpes would begin to melt away. Our bodies are our temples. Please don’t allow herpes to rob you of the right to feel safe and loved beyond measure in your own skin. Your body should be a refuge of self expression and beauty. No body is perfect, and yet women with herpes often begin to feel angry towards their own bodies. The stigma of herpes leaves them feeling dirty and shameful. We become our worst enemies. We allow herpes to be the ever impending intruder of our bodies. Instead of acting with kindness and love, we begin to act with self sabotaging behavior like overeating, drinking or substance abuse. As we distance ourselves and disconnect, we become fragmented and forget who we really are. We forget our true gifts and talents. Instead of being a woman who lives with herpes, we allow herpes to run the show. This misery is truly self imposed. I encourage you to take time each day to love and nurture your body and affirm to yourself… I bless my body temple.

Discovering unconditional self love is truly the best gift you can give yourself. Stop being a victim to herpes and affirm that you are NOT your herpes. You are a beautiful…from the inside out and you are loved beyond measure. Start treating your body with the love and respect it deserves and watch the miracles unfold in your life.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly Live Love and Thrive with Herpes