Single With Herpes: A Mom’s Perspective

Single With Herpes: I’m 29 nearly 30 years old and a single mum of a 9 year old. I’m not sure how I’ve contracted herpes. I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 2 years with the same person. We had unprotected sex 2 or 3 times in 18 months. I had a 3 month relationship previously where it was unprotected, he’d had a vasectomy and had told me he was “clean.” I trusted my ex believing he didn’t have an std as I did with my current boyfriend. I’d been tested for STD’s several times and had never tested positive for anything. I barely knew anything about herpes until I was diagnosed about 4 months ago.I already suffered with depression, body dysmorphia disorder and social anxiety and finding out I have herpes has made me feel worse. Initially I felt shocked and undesirable. I still feel undesirable. I’m also struggling not to blame my boy friend but I think that’s due to us already having issues as he’s never let me know where he lives.I’ve had prodome symptoms since being diagnosed and probably 4 mild outbreaks. I think stress is partly triggering the outbreaks.As I already feel ugly and struggle with agoraphobia, the diagnosis has been very difficult for me because I don’t have friends. I’m an orphan and I’m not very close to my 2 siblings.I feel quite depressed. I’m not sure what I’d tell someone whose recently been diagnosed. Maybe some understanding. It’s hard to offer advice when you’re not coping yourself.


  1. Anonymous says:

    Hi, I just wanted to post an update on how I’m doing as it’s been several months.
    I did struggle for a while with my diagnosis, I’ve found it easier since the symptoms have eased off, I also found out I’m positive for type 1 not 2 as I’d originally thought.
    Overall I do think the diagnosis has made me a stronger person, it’s helped me to see myself as more than my insecurities about my looks.

    My advice to anyone whose just found out is be kind to yourself, give yourself time to heal and come to terms with the diagnosis, your life will go on and you can still appreciate it and enjoy it even though at times it’s hard, hang in there.

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