M.G- Symptoms of Genital Burning and Tingling

After 6 years of celibacy, determined to wait until I get married before having intercourse again, I had sex with my children’s father. I knew he didn’t love me but I used him as a way to relieve stress. After having sex with him I started having flu like symptoms and inflammation around my genitals. The doctors diagnosed me with herpes. I rarely have bumps but I suspect I may have shedding because of a light tingling and genital burning sensation. My ex denies having herpese and giving it to me. He has had multiple sex partners since my diagnoses and moved on with his life. I can’t see myself ever telling a man I have this disease & expecting him to say, ” I love you enough to have it too”. Even though the Dr. says this disease is very common, it doesn’t make me feel any better about taking the chance of telling a potential marriage partner. If I should get rejected I risk the chance of this person telling every one that I have this disease. I’m African American and when it comes to things like STD’s we can be very judgmental and say harsh things. I can’t imagine me telling a black man something like this. It’s been about 7 yrs since my diagnoses. I’ve been doing my best to stay away from foods that will cause inflammation. I mostly experience symptoms before, during or after my period. I need all the support and education about this STD that I can get right now.


  1. Kay says:

    Hey hun. I totally understand how u feel I went through this same thing…sorry to reply so (2yrs later). But I’ve had it for 7 or 8 years now and, yes u are right, black people are very harsh and judgemental because so far what u were trying to avoid is what happened to me. I am also mixed. I told a guy I had it after possibly infecting him with it. He was so angry i swear he was gonna hit me. And honestly it wasnt intentional that it happned and right now I feel rejected, used and aweful and my fear is that he’s gonna tell other people about it. This actually happened a few weeks ago. I was in a mess and really depressed about it but what I learnt from this experience is if the person really loves u, no matter what u did they will stick with u n love u. Its a terrible disease but ur not alone. So many ppl are going through it and u have a lot of support on this site that u can relate to. I actually only discover this site last month and I wish it existed years ago. 🙂

  2. El says:

    So sorry this is your experience ladies. I think the guy I got it from didn’t know or didn’t care. Another guy I fell in love with didn’t care, I don’t know if he has told his new partner but that is not my responsibility. I have told new partners prior to unprotected intercourse, and strangely they don’t seem to care. My most recent partner seemed oblivious, but I knew he already had it because he had the strong odour which sometimes is evident with herpes. This odour is very distinctive, and it is doing my head in that so many people including medical profesisonals seem unaware of it. It’s not always present, and is not always accompanied by other symptoms but I believe that awareness of that odour can help manage it. I went ahead and had intercourse despite smelling this on my partner’s genital area, because I take regular medication for the herpes I contracted somewhere else. But both times I did this I felt very unwell for a few days afterwards even though I was ingesting the meds every day. makes me think his fluid must be very full of nasty grooblies to do that. I told him about it and he obligingly visited the Dr, who is questioning it and insisting on running a gamut of tests. I hate that there is stigma attached, I choose to be accepting of myself and others – main thing is that it is managed, and if your lifestyle is healthy and/or you manage it with meds it doesn’t generally have to affect your life.

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