Is Dating With Herpes Ruining Your Sex Life?

Is Dating With Herpes Ruining Your Sex Life? 

For many people, the answer to this question is a resounding, YES! While this is true for many, it does not have to be for you. Just last week I was working with a woman who was feeling the aftershocks of Valentine’s Day. Her chest pains were so bad that it sent her to the emergency room. What did they find? Nothing, nada, and yet she felt like her heart was going to explode and her herpes outbreak were worse than ever. Once I applauded her for seeking medical attention, for she was very embarrassed for having “over reacted,” I asked her if Valentine’s Day had anything to do with her physical pain.

Why, “of course!” she said. It was the anniversary of the betrayal of her ex husband and his passing “the gift” onto her. After she shared her story with me, I asked her if she felt like her body was betraying her and she said, “Yes!”. Long story short, we began to work with her feelings of betrayal and the need for her to feel worthy of love for her physical and emotional bodies to heal.

Moral of the story? Our emotions can directly affect our outbreaks and what we tell ourselves is important in the healing process. Want to attract your soulmate? The first step is to love yourself unconditionally and begin to feel worthy of love. Repeat after me… I am worthy of love! Practice saying this several times a day and watch how you will become a magnet for love and healing.

Live. Love. Thrive.

Dr. Kelly


  1. reedee says:

    This does not relate to the topic above, but I was wondering if any woman took acyclovir during their pregnancy? This is my first pregnancy and I was even hesitate to take Tylenol, let alone a antiviral. I’m scared it will hurt the baby. My midwife reassured me it that it won’t, but I would like to hear from other woman or Dr. Kelly if you took this medication during pregnancy, and if so, did you have any side effects? My midwife said it would be more of a danger if I don’t take it.

    • Dr. Kelly says:

      I personally, did not take any antivirals during my pregnancy. If you do not have frequent outbreaks and are concerned about the risks, you could always consider taking antivirals from 36 weeks on. This is truly a personal preference.

      I gave birth to a healthy baby girl at home and there were no complications with herpes. Statistically speaking, the risk of passing it onto you baby is .oooo6% as seen in the study below.

      Neonatal herpes is extremely rare. A three-year study in Canada (2000–2003) revealed a neonatal HSV (herpes simplex virus) incidence of 5.9 per 100,000 live births (.00006%) and a case fatality rate of 15.5%.

      Would you or any other ladies reading this be interested in a course about pregnancy and herpes? I have an ebook, Pregnancy and Herpes: What Every Woman Needs To Know. Just click on the link below.

      I hope this helps.

      Live. Love. Thrive.
      Dr. Kelly

  2. Kelly says:

    What are some alternative methods for sex so that intercourse doesn’t feel like your only option for intimacy? In this situation, it would be where one partner has herpes and the other partner does not. I think if the non-infected partner knows that there are other options for sex beside just intercourse, maybe they won’t be so quick to leave the relationship when you tell them you have herpes. The two of you can come up with a plan together on how to still be intimate and have a full-filling sex life and still cut back on the risk of passing it on to your partner. After meeting a guy on an online dating website and having met up with him on 3 dates, I told him after the 3rd date. He was really understanding, but didn’t want to risk getting it, so he decided not to pursue the relationship with me. I feel like this is going to be a constant hurdle in every future relationship and I would like to be able to offer the partner some options so that he doesn’t just dump me and I end up feeling rejected, hurt and ashamed.

  3. dersie says:

    I have some questions that need serious answers. At the age of 45 I am diagnosed with genital herpes. The crazy thing is that I’ve been with my boyfriend for the past 6 years and never cheated on him. He said he never cheated on me and when he went to take his test it came back negative. I am so confused. Is it possible that the partner I had before this six year relationship caused this? Please I need some answers. When I ask my GYN DR. they don’t know what to say to me. Please help. My boyfriend is of course concerned and says there is no possibility it is him.

  4. casey says:

    Just found out I got misdiagnosed! Thank god! I thought that I had an initial outbreak but it turned out it was scabies and flu at the same time by coincidence, although I had a positive swab test when i initially got “diagnosed” over the past year I have done 3 blood tests on 4 month spaced intervals and all of them turned out negative!

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