After we put our baby down for bed last night, my husband and I decided to watch the documentary, Happy, which had just arrived from Netflix. I must say, that after watching it I felt a tremendous amount of gratitude and love in my life.
Was I happy in life? Absolutely!
While I have always been a happy woman, there have been many times in my life where happiness was difficult to access. My diagnosis of herpes was certainly one of those times. What struck me most about this film was that the research indicated that only 10% of our happiness is related to our circumstances. This was absolutely shocking! After many years of research, it was discovered that 50% of happiness is genetic, 10% is Circumstantial (income, social status, where you live, age, life experiences) and 40% is due to Intentional Activity (what we choose to do with our lives).
There was a woman who was interviewed, who had survived a horrendous accident where she was run over by a truck. The once pageant queen mother survived, but at the cost of a very disfigured face. The trauma of the event brought back repressed memories of the sexual abuse she had endured as a child. While this women contemplated ending her life at that time, she was able to overcome her challenges and become an amazingly happy woman. She now says that she lives with more joy and gratitude than ever before.
So, when you are down and out over herpes and its implications, know that you have the option to overcome this challenge and become a happier, healthier and more vibrant person than you were before. You can choose to embrace relationships with a greater level of intimacy and connection than ever before. Do not allow herpes to destroy your happiness and remember, your circumstances only amount to 10% of your access to happiness. You have the courage and capacity to live and love again. Take hold of the other 40% factor that determines happiness….Intentional Activity. Research has shown that exercise, spending time with friends and giving back to society are things you do have control over and they are directly related to happiness.
If you want to reclaim your happiness, choose self love, friendship, and gratitude. You can be happy again!
Live. Love. Thrive.
PS. You can check out the full feature length documentary of Happy here
Want more happiness? Get coached with Dr Kelly!
thankful for the info at this time in my life
I don’t know where to start. I feel like I’ve been swallowed into a black hole since my diagnosis. I have a 14 month old and a 4 month old. During both pregnancies I suffered UTI’s, Vaginitis, and yeast infections. The baby was born at 33 weeks due to ruptured membranes from an unknown infection. My mind has been racing wondering if all of my issues were due to herpes that I didn’t know I had. I’ve been faithfully with the same partner/ husband for 3 years. All the times I was checked for STD’s I had absolutely no idea that tests for herpes was not done unless requested. Why was I not informed? I’ve never been promiscuous and always thought I was safe. Yearly pap and STD testing, using protection and now this! I feel dirty and ashamed. My husband tries to be supportive but I just want to hide away. Herpes has consumed my every thought, my hands are raw from washing them, I’ve gone through more bleach in the past few weeks than I normally do in a year and I’m afraid to kiss my boys. My stomach hurts from the Valtrex. The sores ( this is the first time I’ve had them) are healing but my body tingles almost painfully in odd spots all over my body. From mid buttock on both sides down to my toes is sore and tight, almost like the muscles are too short. I have read more on the Internet than I ever cared too. Comparing pictures of sore and blisters to mine, others symptoms to mine. Yet I am at such a complete loss. How will I know if an outbreak is coming? How dangerous is this for my children? What if I spread it to them already because I didn’t know I had it? How do I keep outbreaks from occurring?
I first contracted hsv 2 @ 17 yrs old after high school graduation. I was seeing a guy who was older ( found out he was 30 instead of 20 ). I had recently just been stood up for prom, and was seeking male companionship because I felt lonely. So seeing this guy in a nice car who took interest in me, had his own place, and finances I thought he was a winner. Boy was I wrong. I had protected sex with him at first, but then he took the condom off and began ejaculating in me. I didn’t think much of it because if he was willing to do that, he wanted to be with me for a long time, seeing how pregnancy was the outcome. To my naiveness, I thought I was the only person he was dealing with ( he was Still dealing with his ex girlfriend). When I think back I remember him complaining about itchiness near his scrotum, but he said it was the detergent he was using, so I didn’t think much of it.
I found out I had herpes in March 2010 and I still feel dirty, unlovable, ashamed and angry.