Herpes Diagnosis In A Foreign Country- By “Trying To Be Brave 2”

Flower patternMy story is a new one. I am a 38 year old  who lives and works in a country far away from home …I just found out three days ago. I only got tested because my partner of six months suddenly had an outbreak.  I went to my Gyno..he actually REFUSED to test me though I literally begged. I told him what was happening to my partner, he told me I have no signs of the disease..and I should come back if I ever have signs. Can you imagine!!! I am actually worried about my health..even other than the Disease I now have…I am not so trusting anymore…I often just trust doctors blindly.

I went to another clinic, language barrier in tow, and got the tests done. The doctor could hardly explain to me what the results meant. (I saw IgG  99.8+. 2.0….that looked positive to me.) Despite our inability to communicate, I know in my heart that I am positive. Again, this Dr. was telling me I had no problem…”sigh” It is doubly lonely here for me as I am far away from home. I am not fluent in the language either, and the native people have a hard time understanding the concept of confidentiality, even friends..At my workplace this would have been all over the staffroom by day’s end if I told my closest pal. I don’t know if this is something I should, or have to share with my friends, so I won’t. Is that ok?

I don’t want to share it with my family either ..maybe my sisters in time..not right now. My mom worries too much and gets sick.I am at a loss having never experienced an outbreak..do I still take meds even though I don’t even know when I am having an outbreak or when I will be contagious?  I am now terrified of spreading it to other parts of my body and other people as I don’t even know when I am shedding. This country is a bit relaxed where STD’s are concerned, I basically have no one to turn to for information After many moons of being single, then finding someone I really love..this happens. I just need the reassurance that everyday for the rest of my life will not be filled with sadness and the sense of loss that I now feel. My partner is so scared he is slowly locking me out of his life…he is a bit of a softy and we are not sure who gave who and it is killing him that it may be him ..(me too) he gets actual OBs so he can’t be stressed…even riding his bike gives him OBs…I think just looking at me stresses him out. I want to talk to him about it..he prefers online friends as he can’t handle the emotion involved in talking to me. (Even before I found out I was positive he didn’t even want to use the camera during SKYPE)I am heartbroken. I have overcome much in my lifetime…I will survive I think…but I need some help.  I am gonna be ok..but these first few days are not so nice.. Thank you so much for doing this Dr. You are a brave woman. Thanks. Tryingtobebrave2

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