Having trouble communicating with your partner?
Finding yourself in drag out fights or misunderstandings?
Said something in anger that you now regret?
These past few weeks have been incredibly challenging for me and so many women. It seems like life has been falling apart. There are certain things in my life that I have never questioned and now they are being threatened and challenged. I have heard from so many of you that in this past week you are fighting like never before with those you love most. Hurtful things are being said, hearts broken, couples breaking up etc…. I too fought with my husband like never before. I cried for days. You know those days when you awake and the puffiness under your eyes look like a donut? That was me.
As I reflect, there was one phrase that could possibly have saved us from so much pain. From my perspective, I was angry that our stress had gotten so great that we were both grumpy, unhappy, disconnected and not making time for one another. From his perspective, my daughter had been asking him if she could have a sister. Now mind you, it has been weighing on my heart recently that I would love to have a second child. The other day I saw a baby across the isle from me on an airplane with her grandfather playing with her and I broke down crying for the reality that I will never have another baby. I have had 4 miscarriages and nearly lost my life with the birth of my daughter. Richard and I decided not to have a second child, but within the past year it has weighed heavy on my heart and I really wanted another child, but Richard was not willing to take the risk. So, in the height of our fight, Richard thought that he couldn’t fulfill me as a man and older father with the decision we had made. He thought I was egging our daughter on to bring up the conversation.
If I had only said “the story that I am making up is” and filled in the blank which was that launching two businesses at the same time is not worth it, then he would have understood my concern and perspective. Then, he could have stated his story and it would never had escalated to the big “D” divorce threat which is totally irrational and hurtful for both of us. So, I challenge you, the next time you are in a disagreement that is getting heightened with emotion…take a deep breath and state your truth and perspective….”the story I am making up is” this one statement breaks down walls and allows for true communication, authenticity and love.
#ownyourstory #emotionalintelligence #dating #drkelly #authenticity #vulnerability #chooselove #pinktent #transformationaltuesday #datingwithconfidence #happilyeverafter