Genital Herpes In Women
I am beginning to feel confident with myself gain. I am 18 years old and 4 months ago (one week before my 18th b-day) I had noticed some sores in my genital area. I scheduled an appt. with my gynecologist and right after looking at them she knew what was wrong with me. She told me that I had genital herpes. I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I was thinking she had to be wrong, this couldn’t happen to me. She told me she was sure that’s what I have and I was hysterical. I would have rather been dead. I thought that anyone that I told would back away from me and not want to come near me. I felt so disgusted and ashamed of myself I could hardly stand to look in the mirror. I didn’t know what to do, I needed someone to lean on and help me through this but I was so ashamed of myself.I called my step mom crying hysterically and she came to pick me up at the doctor’s office. I could hardly tell her what I found out. Just saying the words ‘genital herpes’ was too hard to do. She was very sympathetic towards me but I didn’t understand. She and the doctor were both telling me it wasn’t the end of the world but in my eyes it was! How could anyone say everything would be OK and I would get through it? I couldn’t even grasp the concept of having a normal life ever again. Since that day I have researched it a lot and I have come to terms with it. I know now that it’s not the end of the world and I can and am living a normal life. It has only been 4 months since I was diagnosed but I am already OK with it. There are times when I still get very upset over it but overall I have regained my self-confidence. I can hold my head up high again and be proud of who I am. I still wonder “Why me?” and I wonder also who gave it to me and when exactly I got it but I understand those are questions that I will never have answered. All I know is I have it and I have to take care of myself and be sure not to spread this on to others. I have not had an outbreak since the first one 4 months ago and all I can do is take care of myself in hopes of reducing a recurrence. I will not give this to anyone because I know what it feels like. Someone I trusted and felt close to was careless and didn’t worry or care about passing this on to me so all I can do is make sure I do my best not to pass it on to anyone else. I hope my words and experience with this can help others learn to be OK with themselves after being diagnosed with this. Life does go on and you can be happy!!!
Reading previous posts has encouraged me to share my own story, and hopefully help others and heal myself in the process. I am so happy that I’ve come across this forum. I believe that it will help me on my journey of healing and understanding. I’m 26 and I contracted hsv from an ex boyfriend. The last two years have been an absolute roller coaster of emotion. I do feel though that I’m in a good place at the moment.
During casual conversation one day my boyfriend had mentioned that his previous girlfriend had been so possessive that she told him she had herpes to keep him around. Immediately red flags went up and I had asked numerous questions, worried about my own sexual health. He got very defensive. We had been together for three months at this point. I had been to my obgyn for testing which was normal practice for me entering into a new relationship. All the results came back negative. One part of me was relieved because I had testing since we were together and everything was fine. About three months later he had what I know now was an outbreak. He told me that his privates hurt but it was just chaffing because he was uncircumcised and it happened from time to time. I believed him since I have no idea when it comes to that sort of thing about the male genitalia. We had been intimate during that time.
A week later I started having symptoms. I mentioned to him that I noticed a very painful bump on my vagina. Again he was very defensive. I had mentioned the conversation to him that we had before and he exclaimed “I can’t tell you anything, I never should’ve told you!” I was very hurt and upset. In the back of my mind I already knew. I went to the doctor and my suspicions were confirmed.
Since which we have broken up. I’m now trying to navigate dating and relationships. I am currently on suppressive therapy which has helped ABUNDANTLY. I have very few outbreaks. I think a shift in mindset has helped as well. I’ve had lots of counseling to help with feelings of self hate and resentment most of all. I’ve just met someone and we haven’t had the talk yet and haven’t had a physical relationship. I feel confident enough to tell him before we get intimate, present him with the facts and let him make an educated decision. I have had other partners since. It’s still a scary road to navigate because you never know how someone is going to react.
I live in a very small community it’s hard to know who to trust because there is such a stigma. I keep reminding myself that this is very common but there is life after diagnosis. I have peace of mind that I’m able to confront this and not let it lead my life. In the beginning I felt ashamed and dirty and unworthy. With time though that idea is changing. I do feel worthy of bring loved and I do know that someone will want to be with me despite this.
Hope my story can help.
Okay….its true life does go on after being diagnosed with herpes……i also would like to share my storie im 22 years of age i was diagnosed in 2014 ….i got from a guy i used to see but not date….we have not had that talk with da guy we both parted ways….i hav not told anybody in my family…but im coping i hav accepted my fate and im dealing with it ……..im not dating anymore im working on being a better person….and so far so good