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The only advice I can give is don’t let other people’s opinions of you and your life define you. Lthere is this obgyn on YouTube that I follow and she always says this quote “you do the best you can with the information that you had”. Its not your fault you unintentionally given this virus. The other part about it is it does not define you! Its a skin condition that you have to deal with periodically. And even while you are dealing with an outbreak, you go on about your day and do all the things you need to do. Life doesn’t stop because of this diagnosis. I hope this helps. I definitely am sorry the person you thought you were going to marry didn’t work out but that same feeling can be found again if you are open to it. Nobody in this world is perfect so as you go into the dating world just be honest and upfront with people. This is me and I have this and are you ok with it? If not, Thank you, next!
I just recently had a more rough than normal session with my fellow and since then I got anoutbreak. It has definitely been longer lasting and the lesion is bleeding more than I have ever experienced before.:( its really frustrating. Im not sure if its because my skin is thinner or just the location of the lesion keeps rubbing together which is causing the bleeding/slower healing. I’ve been putting tp between to try and avoid further spread and infection. Its miserable and so painful when I urinate. And when I wipe I see bright red like fresh blood. Its been a few days so I’m hoping it will get better soon. I didnt take the antivirals but I might start if it doesn’t go away soon. I do think its because of the rougher than normal sex. My guy has hsv2 (he gave it to me) so we don’t use condoms. We use lube but maybe we didn’t use enough. Idk but I was happy to see this post since I’ve never had bleeding before with my outbreaks so maybe I was just because of the sex.
For the whitlow, if you see a sore definitely keep it covered completely with a bandaid. If you are worried about transmitting it to baby make sure while you have an active sore to use gloves when you change/bathroom the baby. Probably overkill since just covering it up with the bandaid and preventing the skin to skin contact will likely prevent transmission.
When you dont have an outbreak try to remind yourself that the danger of transmission is minimal. If you feel you are getting several outbreaks then you may want to talk to your doc about staying on the chronic therapy and maybe even increasing the dose depending on how many outbreaks you are getting.
I have hsv2 and when I was first diagnosed last memorial day I did get 1 finger with whitlow. It has not recurred on my finger since. I do get recurrent outbreaks down south and take suppressive therapy for that reason. From everything I have read whitlow is far less common than the other outbreaks.. so just do everything that you can to not further spread it.. use a body gloves to clean down there when you have an ourbreak so you dont have to physically touch your sore..Once you have the virus its really about damage control and making it a normal part of your life. “I have to do xyz now and thats ok.” If you have a questionable sore just treat it as if it was one to be extra safe.
I have had the same fear about accidentally transmitting it to my family or friends. Just remember the more you stress the more outbreaks you are likely to get. So you can think of it as part of your treatment or therapy to calm yourself down when you start to panic and freakout. If you feel like you see a sore on the baby then just go get her tested. You don’t need to tell anyone or get anyone permission. Just for your own peace of mind that its nothing. And if it is something is is 100% better to know so that you can contain the issue early.
Hope this helps a little! I am actually trying to get pregnant with my first child. There are a ton of fears and questions but it will be ok. We have to remember that. Life doesn’t always happen the way we want it but we deserve all the good things in this life including having our family.
