When will I feel ready to have sex?

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    Hi. I was diagnosed with herpes two months ago. My boyfriend gets cold sores (HSV1) but did not have any noticeable symptoms at the time. He performed oral sex and I was diagnosed a few days later, around the same time the tell tale blisters appeared on his lip. Thankfully I’ve only had one recurrence since then and was extremely mild. Ever since my diagnosis I’ve felt dirty and unlovable. I’m worried that even though he says I’m not dirty; he believes it and he won’t want to be with me anymore. I can’t help but feel like my diagnosis was my fault and that if I had just remained celibate nothing would have happened to me. I feel like I have all these negative thoughts surrounding sex all of a sudden and I’m afraid to do it. I want to be with him like we were but I’m so afraid and I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking that maybe I should leave him and be on my own so I don’t have to deal with it but I don’t want that at all. I love him I’m just worried he won’t love me anymore. What can I do to help get rid of these feelings and be ready to have sex again?

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