- This topic is empty.
December 11, 2014 at 8:59 pm #19765Dr. KellyKeymaster
I just wanted to take the time to post this most serious of topics. Over the years I have received several calls from women who were suicidal. I want you to know that over time, these women were able to see the light at the end of the tunnel and they later realized how horrific it would have been had they taken action. If you are reading this, I want you to know that you are not alone! We know that at least 1 in 4 women has herpes and yet no one is talking about it. This forum is a safe place to share your inner most thoughts. Never be shameful of what is running through your mind. Herpes is something that you can absolutely learn how to manage AND you can have a healthy sex life again. I promise! If you were just diagnosed, I encourage you to jump in this forum and just spill your heart out on the page. The Pink Tent Sisterhood will be here to hold you and lift you up. Also, please take at LEAST 5 minutes a day and just meditate. Focus on your breath and all the things you have to be grateful for. The tears will come and in the beginning it is a roller coaster ride. Some days will be better than others. If you begin to think crazy thoughts, reach out and ask for help at the suicide hotline.
1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
You can and will get through this and there is no reason why you should have to do it all alone.
Dr. KellyDecember 12, 2014 at 12:36 pm #19767CalmParticipant
Do you think anything can be done to stop people feeling this way?
I felt exactly like this. As though it would be better to stop living than have to wake up every day with the words ‘you have herpes’ screaming in my head.
I am angry that I have had to live with this most of my adult life. I believe it has affected my attitude to sex (seeing as I contracted it very early on in my sexual experience, it is as though sex for me is ‘dirty’, something to be avoided and something distasteful). I am deeply bitter that I have never been able to have a loving relationship without this virus being in it too, seeing as I met my husband when we were only 20, and I already had the virus at that point. I never had the opportunity to have a truly relaxed sexual relationship with him because of the psychological toll this virus has taken on me.
I worry that my relationship with sex has been very damaged. It is rarely something I want to do and I can’t help thinking that the psychological damage of herpes is far greater than the physical damage. And if there were anything that could lessen this…a change in the reputation of herpes socially, an awareness…anything that would lessen the blow of knowing you have to deal with it for life…then it would help so many people deal with this chronic illness. It is a perception that we are all suffering from.
Kind regards.December 12, 2014 at 1:15 pm #19766Dr. KellyKeymaster
Thank you for being so honest with us. I can totally understand why you are so bitter and angry. Maybe it is time now for you to address this so that you can find peace and develop a healthy relationship to sex. We are all sexual beings, wanting to share this most sacred part of ourselves. For many women, herpes gets right in the way of this. Over time, we diminish our sexual selves so that we don’t have to deal with it.
First and foremost, we need to heal ourselves and discover a radical sense of self love. It is only from this place that the stigma and shame releases. There are many people out there like myself who are committed to irradiating the stigma so that this no longer is a problem.
So, how do you discover this radical self love and acceptance? It starts with telling yourself “I love you” each and every day. I also have several tools in my Foundations Course at https://pinktent.com/funnel/foundations-book.php to help women overcome the emotional trauma of the diagnosis. You might also be a great candidate for some private coaching. I work with women one on one over the phone to help them to overcome these challenges. If this interests you, just let me know by sending me a private message and we can chat about that.
You can have the sex life you have always wanted. Just declare it and take one baby step forward to make it so.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.