Success Stories

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  M 1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #39415

    M
    Participant

    Hi everyone,

    I was diagnosed in July of 2015. I was in a serious relationship for a long time that unfortunately just ended back in March. I started dating again recently and told a guy about my diagnosis and he didn’t take it well. Long story short, it has reignited all of my feelings of disgust and sadness that I had when I first got it. I read so many sad stories all the time – where are the success stories? Could anyone share their success story like Dr. Kelly? Are there more people out there with genital herpes that are married with children? My biggest fear is that I won’t have the opportunity to have the life I’ve always wanted because I carry this burden. Thank you all for reading and hope to hear responses soon.

    M

    #39416

    KitC
    Participant

    May I ask how long you were dating before you told him ? I too was in a long term relationship at the time of my diagnosis and I have been too chicken to date since my relationship ended. Dr. Kelly also has great advice on how to tell a partner. I have also read from other popular bloggers that the quality of men you date while having herpes improves. Such a negative reaction from a man sounds like he wasn’t very mature or a kind person so better to End it now before you develop more feelings.

    #39434

    M
    Participant

    Thanks KitC. I know that you’re right, but it still hurts. When do you recommend telling someone? What is too soon and what is not soon enough?

    #39438

    Tay
    Participant

    Hi M,
    Success story here! I had been diagnosed about 2 years ahead of meeting my now husband. We had met and been talking about 3 months when we decided to start dating and it was the first thing I told him. He was very understanding and as a previous poster said…the type of guy who is understanding is a man you want in your life. I’ve only had one outbreak since we’ve been together but always very open about what symptoms are like\ always use condoms. I have asked him if he ever regrets dating/marrying me since I have hsv and he said never and that if that was a reason then it wouldn’t have been a serious relationship for him since it is just one small part of our life/relationship. We’ve been together for 6.5 years now and now starting to try for a family. There is someone wonderful out there for you!

    #39460

    M
    Participant

    Thank you so much Tay! It really means a lot to hear something positive. I really hope there is someone out there for me. I wish you all the very best in starting a family – please keep me posted!

    #39512

    PAjess
    Participant

    I was diagnosed my junior year in college when my bf at the time had it and didnt tell me. We ended the relationship before I found out I had it and all he said when I told him was sorry. later on after a year of trying to cope with the dx and find myself again I ended up dating this guy who excepted me but held it over my head like a sword waiting to drop (looking back I know now it wasnt healthy). I eventually ended that and met my now bf of 4 years. He is amazing and someone was correct that the quality of people you date does improve!!! Having this dx made me slow down and actually go on a few dates before committing and disclosing. He is so supportive and is open to talk about it when I have an outbreak or feeling crappy. He even encouraged me to see a counselor to help with my acceptance and try to move forward.

    There are people with success stories just try to remember that you are worthy and that it may take some time but there are caring and supportive people out there. Idk who said it previously but they were right about if you disclose to a person and they don except you then that says more about the person than you and its not worth your time.

    #39515

    M
    Participant

    Thank you so much Jess! I appreciate you sharing that with me! I agree that it says more about the other person than anything else – I mean if they can’t get past a road bump, how are they are going to get past a road block? It still is really hurtful unfortunately, but hearing stories like yours gives me hope. Sounds like you met an amazing guy and I wish you all the best. Thank you again!

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