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    I am a 61 year old woman who had her first outbreak of genital herpes ever; after testing negative for STDS 30 days ago. The outbreak occurred 4 days after having sex with a man I have been seeing for 16 years. Is it mostly like I got the virus from him.

    I am confused, struggling, embarrassed and ashamed. He didn’t seem angry or surprised when I told him what was going on.



    Im so sorry. I found out 4 months after my 37th birthday. I cried my heart out. The last two times i cried that hard or felt so upset was last December when my teens father died in a car accident and when i miscarried at 5 months along.

    Finding out this is our new life sucks. It truly is a hard pill to swallow for sure. We have a ton of emotions and for me I grieved a lot. Im 3 months into this new life. I have learned it’s not the end of the world at all. 1 and 3 people have it. You can get it and it can lay dormant for over 20 years!! So where or who you got it from is like finding a needle in a hay stack. Your partner either knew he had it and the cat is out of the bag or he too knows chances are very high of catching it in your life time. I can bet many people around you have it and no one talks about it. Which is sad becuase i can’t imagine going this all alone lile that. Im sorry your in the club with us but im glad your here and not alone feeling. Because your not alone. We got you.


    Thank you Rae. I have been in tears for a week, as I tested negative for the virus less than a month ago.


    I’m so sorry, E4670. I am 52, and I was diagnosed 8 years ago. Some days I still find it difficult to accept. Crying is normal. Anger is normal. Feeling ashamed is normal. You are not alone. We all know exactly how you are feeling. Sending you virtual hugs.


    When does it get better? I feel so alone and ashamed.


    Your story sounds very similar to mines. I am 61 years old and was just diagnosed with HSV-2. I’m devastated. Like you, I’ve been with the same partner, not 16 years, but for 3 years. I have not been with anyone else. My partner got tested and he tested negative. He broke up with me, leaving me to deal with this horrible situation alone. My doctor told me that I was exposed/infected within the last few months. I have not been with anyone else, so I have no idea how I got this virus. My ex said he’s going to get tested again. We’ve had a very active sex life. How am I infected and he’s not? This makes no sense at all. I’m going crazy trying to figure out how this happened. I’m depressed, hopeless and alone.

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