Still struggling

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  • #19548
    Dr. Kelly
    Keymaster

    Hello. My name is Jessica. I found this website when I was diagnosed back in August of 2014. I never joined, because I thought I could do this alone but I’m struggling big time! I was dating a guy last summer and before we dated I was with an ex on and off for several years. I’m pretty sure I got it from the fling in the summer time, because my ex of years was clean. I’ll never forget the day that I found out. I felt that my life was over. I felt dirty, worthless, and thought how will someone ever love me? I went home and cried for hours. I didn’t want this to define who I am, so I went to 4 sessions of counseling and I opened up to my closest family and friends. Even though they are very supportive, I still feel like they don’t know exactly what I’m going through. Lately, I have not been able to accept myself. I struggle with even wanting to talk to the opposite sex, because if I can’t accept myself, who will.

    #19550
    Dr. Kelly
    Keymaster

    Jess,

    Thank you so much for sharing with us! I am so glad to hear that you have some support.

    There are many women out there who, just like you, are afraid to be themselves around the opposite sex. I can remember a woman I once coached who went from not making eye contact with the opposite sex to dating a fabulous guy. I think the journey starts with the exploration of self love. You are worth it!

    The truth is that every person has something that they would rather that the whole world not know. We all have secrets and once we realize that we are not alone, life gets easier. All too often, the women who appear to have it all together are really a mess behind closed doors.

    There is nothing to be ashamed of by having herpes. When you are out in public, look around and realize that at least 1 in 4 women have genital herpes.

    With the help of this community, we can learn to love ourselves again and to overcome this diagnosis. Once we embody the power that lies within, the power that herpes has over us fades. There will come a time again when you can walk into a room with self confidence and a radiant sense of self love. When that time comes, you will be a magnet for the perfect mate.

    There are so many people out there who will love you just the way you are.

    Many blessings to you! Keep the faith.

    Live. Love. Thrive.
    Dr. Kelly

    #19549
    Calm
    Participant

    Hi Dr Kelly,

    I was wondering where exactly the 1 in 4 women statistic comes from?

    When I was diagnosed the Dr told me only 5% of the population (UK) have this. He might have meant the entire population, including those who aren’t sexually active, which might have reduced the figure slightly…but even so 5% seemed very low to me…and seeing as I caught this when I was young and having only had very few partners…well… I don’t know. I’d like to know for sure, because the internet would suggest there are a lot of people out there with it.

    Incidentally, I think if people were made more aware how atypical symptoms can be, and if testing were offered as part of general STD screening, then a lot of people wouldn’t pass it on ignorantly. I think of myself as a responsible person, but given constant misdiagnoses I can see how this gets passed around willy nilly by people who don’t know they have it.

    I can’t be certain, but I don’t think I have given this to anyone (other than my wonderful husband, which is really just too sad).

    Kind regards

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