Spiralling and depressed. Feeling suicidal because of this.

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  • #42897
    mhp
    Participant

    Ever since this diagnosis a month ago I’ve spiralled into the deepest depression I’ve been in probably in my entire life. all I do is go to work, come home and go to bed. My diet has completely gone to shit. I used to compete in fitness competitions and now all I do is eat away my feelings. I feel like my life is over. Every day I feel like I should take my life because nothing will get better. Currently it is 6:45 and I am laying in bed because I don’t want to be awake. Any positive thoughts would help.

    #42910
    ashley
    Participant

    I am 22 and was diagnosed at the end of Feb of this year and let me tell you, I felt the SAME EXACT WAY for the first few weeks following my diagnosis. Here are some positive thoughts that I hope will help you as much as it helped me. You are NOT alone in the way that you feel and your life is absolutely NOT over. It will get better and you will heal with time. When considering the statistics (at least 1 in 4 women and 1 in 5 men have herpes), it is highly likely, if not definite, that someone you know in your life also has herpes and experienced a similar shock that you did when receiving their diagnosis.. OR has herpes and is just completely unaware. Herpes does NOT in any way define who you are as a person or make you less worthy of love. At first i know that its extremely difficult to process (i was an actual mess), but your life and continuing to do what you love is worth so much more than allowing herpes to get in the way of that.

    #42912
    graceforever
    Participant

    Hello hun, I know that feeling, when you start having suicidal thought. I too went through worst times and all I can say now is thank God for the doctor who helped me with his treatment, for over six months now, I haven’t experienced any pains or outbreaks. You should mail me on gracejohnforever@gmail.com so I can tell you how to reach the doctor so you too can be free from the horrible pains, symptoms and outbreaks.

    #42914
    mhp
    Participant

    Thanks Ashley, it really does feel like my life is over and at any point in time that I feel myself having a good day, I think back to making one bad decision I’ve night and I get upset again. But thank you for giving me hope. It seems like you were able to push through.

    #42921
    add value
    Participant

    Hey, I understand your struggle. Although it can be stressful because of the stigma associated with the disease, herpes is simply a virus like any other.
    A herpes diagnosis says nothing about how you live your life. It says nothing about who you are.
    Remember, it is in the past. It is over. Just be positive and happy.
    To normalize herpes in your life, you need to first embrace self-acceptance. It is a process that may take time.
    I managed to overcome my thoughts and now I am feeling much better than before. It is all in the mind. You can do it.
    Always tell yourself that.
    You can also e-mail me on addvalue16@gmail.com for more support. Take care.

    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by add value.
    • This reply was modified 3 weeks, 2 days ago by add value. Reason: typo
    #42927
    Charlotte
    Participant

    Hi there, I’m so sorry you’re struggling so much 🙁 I completely understand where you’re coming from and there will be some bad times. But sometimes it helps me to remember that most people have chicken pox as a kid right? And when it goes away it stays with you, like herpes. It’s just that chicken pox is very unlikely to resurface, but with herpes it tingles every now and again (less and less as you go on, I used to get cold sores too and haven’t had one in years and years) and just says take a week out from sex, it’s nice to think of it that simply. And to remember asking a partner not to have sex for a week isn’t a big ask (think period!) and as long as you are self aware so you watch out for any out break, they can go on relatively unconcerned. Even if you were to pass it on, again most people don’t have many recurrences and it isn’t too disruptive. Plus the amount of people who have herpes, it’s always a risk (especially with oral sex as so many people have it, people are just unaware of like 2/3 people having it so it’s not at all rare to have this risk in any kind of sex).
    The hardest thing tends to be self esteem, but of course you are Worth more than getting a few blisters every now and again! It can be sucky, but you aren’t alone and I always remember when I’m scared of how people might see me, that if a partner told me they had it I’d be happy to take a break from sex for the outbreak, there’s so much more to being with someone than sex (and there’s also other things to do safely) and it can build anticipation for when you’re back in action! Just because it’s near your intimate area, blisters are blisters yanno, not a crazy thing, irritating but you’re still a person aside from those 🙂 if you’d like to contact me privately to chat reply to this and I’ll reply privately with a contact. Much love xxx

    #42932
    mia
    Participant

    I just found out this week and I am still processing it. I blame myself for taking back my cheating partner of 7 years this is the 2nd time he did this. i feel nasty and completely lost. I am depressed and I dont know what to do. his response when i told him was that he is sorry for everything. we have 2 kids together so is he really sorry or is he sorry I got tested and told him I got him from him because he is the only person I have been with. I dont know how to process this I feel like he is the blame and I want to hate him but I took him back and slept with him so who really is to blame. Im stuck at this point and need advice

    #42967
    Sophia
    Participant

    I um its not easy to say this. I have very low self esteem. It just started to heighten maybe about a yr ago I am 21 now. I started to obsess about perfectionism and how I wanted to look like the models on instagram. I would never be jealous of their beauty I woumd just get depressed and would start to feel not good enough. Even though I had a boyfriend who would repeatedly tell me I’m beautiful and he loves me. It was very hard to accept myself even in a relationship and someone telling me that there here and not just here because there not attracted for many years I would care about my physical flaws on how people would think the same thoughts I would think about myself and it discouraged me from seeing friends, isolating myself, not being who I was a social person I would like to say all because of my thoughts. It would be repeatedly I felt like I was in a war in my own mind. I felt attacked constantly . I realized mental health was real. I wanted to seek help. I made a phone call for counseling and they hadn’t got back to me so soon. So as the time being with those thoughts still there I started to feel desperate. I sold myself. I am not that kind of girl I dont know how all that works I just knew I needed money and this guy said he was going to help me. I believed him. So we met at a hotel and all I remember is being there for maybe about 20 mins I dont even remember feeling buzzed from drinking I just knocked out he raped me had his friends rape me. Multiple condoms on the floor my moms husband had to find me that way. Next morning I wake up with something above my lip burning I feel it on my face. I contracted hsv 1. I was devastated I have a son I have a boyfriend how was I suppose to deal with this how was I suppose to love again I feel I have all these restrictions. Hes still here… i just can never kiss him again i can never kiss my son again. I’m happy i can shower with him still… I’m happy I can have sex without a condom.. but I’m very angry I’m very depressed as in I was a clean girl I never slept with alot of ppl I just dont feel like I deserve this sometimes I feel like throwing my life away and becoming a prostitute I know those are just thoughts tho but they still cross my mind when I’m very depressed I snap out of it and I feel okay again but it resurfaces again. It’s only been a month of this diagnosis its very hard to deal with this. It’s very hard to know that I have a disease and I’m not the same anymore….

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