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I was diagnosed with genital herpes 3 days ago now. My boyfriend has coldsores and passed the virus to me. I can’t seem to get over the fact he’s passed it on to me maybe I’m clouded by the fact it’s all fresh and I’m in an immense amount of pain but I feel so resentful towards him even though he says he didn’t know he could pass this on to me. Part of me feels like having coldsores should’ve made him more aware. It’s a new relationship and I hadn’t seen him have any outbreaks when I was with him. How can I move past this and not let it ruin our relationship. I know I’m probably just wanting to blame someone right now but I just hope this passes. I’m not sure we’ll be the same again
Hi Lovely, I have a pretty similar story to you. In august last year I got diagnosed with genital herpes after getting it from my boyfriend, who is the only person I have ever slept with, thinking I was pretty much safe from catching any STDs… I had mixed feelings when I first got diagnosed because part of me was scared he would leave me and part of me was so frustrated that he had given this to me. I know he didn’t give it to me on purpose, and I’m sure your boyfriend didn’t either! If he is supporting you, and looking after you while you are going through this, try not to resent him for it. It is hard, I would definitely say this is the hardest thing we have been through in our relationship, but if you communicate and care for each other, you will be absolutely fine! As you haven’t been diagnosed too long ago, you aren’t sure how it’s going to impact you just yet, you may be lucky and never have a flare up again but if you do have recurrent flare ups, you can have suppression therapy to prevent it. It can be hard to forgive your partner for giving it to you, especially when they have given you genital herpes from a cold sore so they don’t even understand the pain you are going through, but I would say as long as he is supporting you through it, you’ll be able to get through it together!
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