Rejection

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  • #43410
    MJ
    Participant

    Hello Beautiful Women!
    I have had a hard road with confidence, sex, and acceptance. I was molested when I was a child and grew to know sex as the way to gain affection and love. I gained quite a bit of weight after this experience and loathed by body in comparison to my sisters and peers in high school. I was told by my parents and siblings that I would never find a man to love me unless I lost weight. These two factors contributed to my self-loathing and my hunger for affection and acceptance. In college I slept with men that would give me some form of acceptance and affection because I craved that so much in myself. I ended up sleeping with a man who fed me the lines that I was beautiful, the whole package, and so worthy of any man. While we slept together I gave him a condom to use, I asked when his last STD check was and if he had an STD. He told me he couldn’t use the condom and that he was clean. He was not.
    A month later I had my first outbreak of herpes and my self-loathing was at an all time high. I felt disgusting, diseased, and unworthy of any ones love. I soon learned to love myself again and felt proud of how far I have come within myself. I tried to see the positives in my situation and seek the good that has come from it.
    However, this positive change only lasts until the first rejection. Then you try and rekindle the hope and say the next man will understand that it wasn’t my fault, that I am still worthy of being loved. I have always tried to do the honorable thing and tell a man a few dates in to protect us both, but after this last rejection where I thought he was the one I just don’t know what to do anymore. He was my complete checklist and I thought he would understand, but he said that I wasn’t worth the risk. That just about broke me all over again. How do you cope with these situations? How do you keep your hearts strong?

    #43426
    jwoww.256
    Participant

    Your words really struck a note with me. I completely relate to you 100%. I understand that rejection is a part of life, but the fact that I may encounter a guy I like and who shows interest in me back just to reject me for having herpes? That blows. But I think that just goes to show how they aren’t the one. Because in reality, if a guy REALLY loves you and knows you, he won’t care. Especially if you educate him on the disease and use a condom, etc. I just recently had sex with a guy that I disclosed it to and it made the experience feel even more special. However, now he is really talking to me…. but that’s not the point! lol. And I do admit, this makes me sad but we remain good friends. Maybe we have to come up with some sort of dating scheme where we can really vet out the guys we’re talking to, you know? I myself am having a hard time navigating how to make sure I’m talking to the right guy that I can trust with this information about me. Maybe for now on, we should friendzone guys until they fall in love with us? LOL!

    #43491
    Aundria
    Participant

    Hi! I feel this so much. I recently went through a horrible rejection too. I’m pretty sad about it because I was very into this man. I told him. He was soooo disgusted. But I’ve also had men in the past that I’ve told and have had zero problem with it!! My advice is to consistently serve yourself and upgrade yourself! This diagnosis definitely hurt my confidence big time, but I was able to get most of it back over the past year by redefining my value a bit. Women have way more to bring to the table than sex. You have to do what you can to find out what that is for your personally so you can better deal with rejection.

    #43492
    Boo
    Participant

    Please help me,I met someone a few weeks ago he is absolutely amazing,I need to have the conversation with him but I don’t even know where to start im not sleeping because I feel like he’s just going to be disgusted by it and just walk which is not what I want.im not going to see him for a few days but I will Monday and I think I need to tell him before his feelings progress towards me.any support or advise would be so appreciated right now x

    #43497
    seasideskate21
    Participant

    I honestly feel your pain. I stressed so bad about telling someone I had an outbreak. For me I’m a open person so for a long time i wanted to tell this person but automatically thought he wouldn’t accept me. After the long message I sent him he was nice enough and said he would research it further and get back to me, he said he didn’t want to go any further with me. It’s taking me a few days to get over it because yes it does hurt. However it would hurt more if I wasn’t 100% honest with myself. If anyone wants to discuss further my email is seasideskate21@gmail.com hope you are all okay! It’s never easy

    #43498
    seasideskate21
    Participant

    Reminder you’re too dope for someone that’s unsure of you. It’s honestly their loss

    #43499
    Aundria
    Participant
    This reply has been marked as private.
    #43505
    Elpis
    Participant

    The fear of rejection is what keeps me from even allowing myself to get close to anyone. I am sorry it didn’t work out for you but like someone else said he just wasn’t the one for you.

    #43637
    Tryingtoexist
    Participant

    Personally if I EVER decide to start dating again or be intimate I will start looking on sites that are for people who have herpes. That way I don’t have to fear rejection, disgust or constant fear.

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