Newly Diagnosed with no outbreak yet.. So many emotions..? Questions.. Scared!

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    I was diagnosed July 30th, 2019. My story… I divorced im 2015 after 12 years. I didn’t feel ready to date until this year. I dated a guy over the summer who I think gave it to me. I was diagnosed with bith HSV1 and HSV 2.. Yay me! I was devastated with my diagnosis! I felt and still feel ashamed, dirty, embarrassed and depressed. Although I have not had an outbreak every bump, itch or weird feeling i have i think its one its exhausting. I wash my hands all day long, i don’t kiss my kids except on the top of their heads.. We don’t share food anymore.. Makes me feel like an awful dirty mom÷😞 the guy that i think gave it to me ghosted me after telling me he was ok with trying to see past my diagnosis which hurt more than he just telling me up front he wasn’t ok with it.. He is HSV1 positive. I think im done dating and having sex.. It’s just not the risk anymore. I don’t want to spread it and im scared of getting something else! I tried taking antiviral meds as a preventative measure but they made me crazy.. Headaches.. Mood swings.. So i stopped taking them. Then I was on line reading about people that describe how awful and painful having herpes is and how it can cause neurological issues.. Scares me to how my body will react to the virus in the long run! Im so scared.. Ashamed.. Hurt..mad.. So many emotions!!! Sorry to be such a downer but how I feel!!!

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