Newly Diagnosed and Scared

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    I was diagnosed about 2 weeks ago after going to my doctor for what I thought was a bad yeast infection. When I found out that I had herpes, it felt like my world ended. I was diagnosed with HSV-1 and I believe I may have contracted it from my boyfriend who gets cold sores. I have been struggling ever since I was diagnosed, I feel dirty and unlovable, even though I keep telling myself that it wasn’t my fault. One of my biggest struggles currently is feeling comfortable having sex with my boyfriend again. Since he gets cold sores and already has HSV-1, I don’t know how big of a risk I am to him. Could I possibly give him a genital outbreak? I am trying to wait until I have absolutely no symptoms, but every itch in that region makes me think that I am still symptomatic even though I am way past the 7-10 days it took my Valacyclovir to clear up my outbreak. Honestly any information or advice would be helpful. Finding this website has been the first time I haven’t felt alone since my diagnosis.


    I was in the exact same situation you are in as my (now ex) boyfriend gave me genital HSV1 from his cold sores. Since he has already got HSV1, his body should have produced antibodies for the virus, this means that the chances of you passing genital HSV1 to him is really really low! Apparently it’s like the same chance as catching chicken pox again, so very unlikely. I hope this helps!


    So, I was diagnosed yesterday but still waiting on my results as to which type. I also found out that my partner used to suffer from cold sores but was never tested nor has he had one in a very long time. Not sure if it’s probable that was the cause or if he has HSV2 and just doesn’t know. I feel like my life is over. I’m glad I have found others to talk to.


    Hey Aly! I was diagnosed about a week ago. I also have HSV 1 in my genitals. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for 4.5 years and neither of us have had Known of any symptoms. When I got the news that I may have herpes I was deviated. I was scared to tell my boyfriend because I thought he would think I had cheated which I had not. The virus can be in your system for years to decades before it emerges which is what I think happened to me. My doctor told me if someone touches the active lesions they can spread it. Even though your boyfriend has them orally he can still get them on his genitals. BUT you’re not likely to pass it when there’s no outbreak! You’re right, this is not your fault. You are not dirty. It’s a virus that comes and goes. There are plenty of ways to help lower the risk of outbreaks. Most people after the age of 35 stop having outbreaks. Just do your research, talk to your doctor, and talk with your boyfriend. Get comfortable with small changes you may have to make to your life. You’re not alone! We’re all in this together and will support you!


    Hi with all of you,

    I just wanted to tell you that HSV-1 genital is very different than HSV-2 genital. HSV1-genital is less severe, you have an outbreak and mostly (40%), no more breakouts, or 2 more breakouts in the net two or three years and then no more. Worst case scenario, one a year. It is different than HSV-2 genital, where you get from 3 to 8 breakouts per year. (All this in symptomatic people).
    Other facts, the viral shedding (when you have no symptoms) of HSV-1 genital is 2%, compared to HSv2, which is around 15-30% of the time. So, it’s very unlikely to pass HSV1 genital to genital. You are more likely to get HSV-1 genital from oral sex.
    If your boyfriend, partner, already has HSV-1 orally (like the 50-80% of the population), he is not likely to get HSV-1 genitally because he already developed the antibodies, so it will protect him.
    I hope this makes you feel better. Even doctors make the mistake to tell people herpes is herpes, but no, it is important to know the type of herpes you have.
    You were unlucky you didn’t get HSV-1 oral herpes in childhood (the kiss of a relative), and you got exposed to get it genitally. You were unlucky to get genital herpes, but you got the nicer one, HSV-1.

    Watch a video on youtube called “understanding genital herpes” from the American Sexual Health Association. And read this article:

    I hope this all makes you feel better.
    If you need more information, let me know. I’d be happy to share more information.

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