Newly diagnosed and feeling overwhelmed

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    I’m 54 years old, divorced for 4 years and recently stopped my toes back in the dating pool. I had sex with a condom and was ghosted within a few days. About 10 days later, I thought I had a yeast infection. After treating it with over the counter meds, it still didn’t go away and felt like it was getting worse. Then I felt the bumps. I saw my gynecologist and she believed in was indeed herpes. In all of the years of being sexually active, I’ve never had an STI. I’ve never felt so ashamed and mortified in my life. I feel like I’m damaged goods and will never have anyone want me again. I’m at a point where my kids are almost out of the house and I was hopeful to have a long term relationship again. I feel hopeless now. How do I get past this?? Will I ever get past this shame and self loathing? I feel broken.


    Hello Artemis,

    You are not alone and your feelings are exactly what I felt a month ago. I’m not feeling nearly as overwhelmed as I was at the beginning of my diagnosis. Reading through the posts on this site has helped as well as educating myself on my diagnosis. I had started dating (single dates/no sex) prior to my diagnosis via online dating. I’m going forward again with dating and have decided that I won’t have “the conversation” until I know I really like the guy and feel it’s reciprocal. I’ve been able to get back to feeling really good about who I am which is the same person I was before being diagnosed. Receiving attention on the dating app has made me feel attractive again. I don’t post my HSV-2 status. If it doesn’t work out with someone, I will keep trying. That is all I can do. That is all “we” can do.

    Meditate. Take care of yourself. You are the same wonderful person. Take it day by day.

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