Newly diagnosed

[Jay]

I’m 32 always been careful when it came sex. I’d ask if they were tested recently an some would still have the results on hand that eased my mind protection was always used well most of the time unless I was in a relationship with them and we both were tested and we were negative. Since July I was talking with somebody to see where it goes we slept together 2 times an for the first time in a long time I was satisfied. Feelings were on both sides happening I had a bad week emotionally mentally drained he said he was done an I took it as he was done with me I didn’t talk to him for 2 weeks an sucked it up cause I really wanted to give it a shot. In the meantime while we weren’t talking I took it hard ended in a dark place. Thinking I messed up something that could of been good and so on an so forth. I went and hung out with somebody knowing I was in a bad place didn’t want to be alone I passed out an woke up with no pants on. A few days after my period I felt like I had an ingrown hair or another boil it tends to happen after I would grt a waxing thinking that’s what it was I left go I managed to look an see what it was it looked like an ingrown that I kept picking at honestly. Before that appeared I had some extra discharged similar to what I’d get before my period. I made an appointment Monday for Tuesday first thing in the morning to get checked an I asked to have a std screening done as well. The np said that it looks like herpes but she isn’t positive let’s swab it. It didn’t bother me not painful or anything. I was hoping it would all come back negative an yesterday I got the results it was positive 2 antibiotics an antiviral. I was clean last month I called the person I was talking to upset an just spiraling with everything I said I need you to get tested. I didn’t tell him about that night 2 weeks ago cause we weren’t talking an I kept it to myself. I’m a mess I don’t know whatbto do how to feel I’m disgusted of myself I don’t want to be bothered with anyone I don’t have many that I can trust with this information started doing my research but not knowing where to look. How can it be passed on am I gonna give it my kids for drinking out cups I feel like I’m just this disgusted human being. Any helpful tips tricks something for a better understanding

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