August 5, 2019 at 9:09 pm #39343
I have been diagnosed today and though I did my fair share of asking questions I still feel so confused. So here is my story
I have never had any symptoms of herpes before other than a cold sore maybe once or twice as a child. I had unprotected sex with a new partner, (he used a lubricant which I have never used before…maybe that’s unrelated but like I said, I still have a lot of questions) and I was in a bit of pain after our time together but I just attributed it to soreness I had gotten before. Then, gradually I started to feel an incredible amount of pain and noticed the sores. I went to the OB/GYN today and she said it appeared to be herpes. I immediately contacted the guy and he said “I have never even had a cold sore or any signs of herpes”. I don’t want to play the blame game because at the end of the day it won’t change anything, but I have never had signs either so I am wondering how I contacted it and how this is the first time I am ever experiencing an outbreak. I am 22 and even though I know my sexual future is not hopeless I am feeling very distraught and defeated.
Thank you for reading, any advise would help immensely.August 6, 2019 at 6:03 pm #39348
Hello. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I am newly diagnosed as well but he knew he was infected and coerced me into thinking that it was an infected scratch and not a herpes sore. I ended up getting it. For me, the morning after, I woke up with the worst fever and headache. Then the sores started and boy were they painful. They are some blood tests that supposedly test if you were infected long term or short term, but when I did it both were negative. When i had gotten another outbreak I went to my gyno and she swabbed the sores and got a good sample for testing. It came back positive. But yes, you’re right, whether he has it or not shouldn’t be a concern for you anymore. Focus on yourself and your health because that’s what matters most. 🙂
The best test is swabbing the sores for culture. The virus lives in the nerve root in the area that you were infected and it is very difficult to detect sometimes with testing. It is also important that you don’t have sex while you have an outbreak until you’re fully healed. I take daily 500mg valtrex and sometimes take vitamin c and zinc as well. I have not been intimate with anyone since my diagnosis but I was told by my gyno that with daily valtrex use and using condoms, the transmission rate is less than 3%. Hope this helps!August 7, 2019 at 12:16 pm #39354
Oh yes that does very much! I have been terrified of how I am going to tell someone in the future. But knowing the likelihood of transmission is less than 3% is wonderful! I will talk to my gyno about the daily valtrex! Thank you so much!August 9, 2019 at 9:46 pm #39355
You’re more than welcome. As for telling a future partner, I choose to wait until we get to know one another and that way you build without it being all about intimacy (which is a great way to make sure you actually like someone). I used my notes app on my phone and typed up kind of like a script that I use. It’s easy, and i’ve reviewed it tons of times until it seemed comfortable enough for me. That way, if the topic ever arises, I copy and paste if i’m telling them over text, or i read from it if i tell them in person, and that’s that 🙂August 10, 2019 at 11:46 pm #39356
Hi I’m new too. I had my 1st outbreak about a week ago and went to my Ob yesterday. Doing the test but I’m pretty sure it will test positive for herpes. I’m almost 40 years old and have 1 healthy child and never had any symptoms until now.
I’m glad I found this forum because I’m feeling confused and alone about this. It’s encouraging to see that this won’t define our lives.August 11, 2019 at 7:38 am #39358
I’m sorry you’re going through this but yes we are all here together. I’m struggling myself to understand it and not let it define me and people’s stories and responses have been so encouraging! I hope all stays well for you and your doctor helps answer and questions you may have!August 11, 2019 at 4:21 pm #39359
Thanks hrpiowaty! I’m taking the steps to get educated on this skin diseases and try taking care of myself. Msg me anytime, in need of support.August 15, 2019 at 2:28 am #39375
I had a similar experience, I’m 26. I’m with a brand new guy who swore up and down he was “clean”, he also used a lubricant that I’ve never come in contact too (for a bot I thought it was an allergy, rough sex, and a yeast infect (although I did get a yeast infection too)). Now, I also have a decently close friend who was the last person to sleep with him before me, and she swears shes “clean” too… like you I dont want to play the blame game, but this was my first time having sex in over a year- and I never had symptoms before.
I’m terrified of telling either of them, because one could have infected the other and then me or both had it and I got the short end of the stick here…. theres nothing I can do about it now… but I feel obligated to tell them both because its potentially going to spread.
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