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December 1, 2014 at 8:20 pm #19861Dr. KellyKeymaster
Every day I have women ask me about how herpes is transmitted. Herpes is transmitted from skin to skin contact. The virus likes warm and moist environments (mouth, nasal passages, genitalia etc.). The virus is most easily transmitted when there are sores present. However, it is possible to transmit the virus when there are no symptoms present.March 19, 2015 at 7:42 pm #19864JessicaParticipant
Okay now for some real stuff. The only time I really have to talk about my herpes is when my boyfriend wants to have sex and I’m having an outbreak. I always tell him that I don’t want to do it when I’m having an outbreak because not only can he get it but he can spread it on me and it’s just a horrible nasty mess.
I am still so horrified that I have this and it freaks me out that he wants to do it anyway. He says he loves me and he doesn’t care. But I know he thinks he doesn’t care until he gets it and then his whole life is changed. I don’t wish this on anyone.
Is there something else I can say other then I don’t want to do it right now.
I really do love this guy and I would be so heartbroken if I gave him anything.March 26, 2015 at 9:16 am #19863KatieParticipant
Have you talked to him about how you felt when you found out you had herpes? Maybe if he understands the emotional side better and what you went through (that true real perspective), he might have a better understanding as to why you don’t want to pass this on to him. The other thing I am thinking is that he makes his own choices now too-if he knows the risks and you’ve informed him, it’s his responsibility as well. However, you know yourself better than anyone else and what you need in order to feel ok with the situation.August 18, 2015 at 3:00 am #19862faerie greenParticipant
Also Dr Kelly said that it can be transmitted even when you aren’t having an outbreak (though unlikely) – so you have been honest with him, and he has decided to continue the relationship, kind of does seem that he chooses to take some responsibility for that possibility (though sounds like maybe he is naive to the true consequences)
But also, I support you just to remember that even without the whole herpes thing, consent is consent. It’s a huge issue everywhere, and all I can say is that you have the right to say ‘no’ for ANY reason and have that respected. It might make you feel a whole lot better about everything if you can have that support around your consent in general in the relationship.June 7, 2016 at 3:33 pm #20183cosmoqueenParticipant
Dr. Kelly I am more concerned into passing it on too my Daughter,Grandchildren or friends.I have friends that say oh taste this or try this drink .I usually say I have a sore throat or make up some excuse.That can only be used for so long.Is there away too know if you don’t have symptoms of the virus if you are passing it on.You talk about viral shedding is that only in your underwear cause at least there you can see it does Viral shedding occur on other parts of the body.I have always had a touch of excemza so now I am not sure if that is what it is or what?I only thought initially that herpes was a sexual disease but if you can infect other people that aren’t sexual partners like family and friends……What is your best advice as you deal with patients in a clinic setting?September 2, 2016 at 11:31 pm #20282AnonymousGuest
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