Made a mistake and need help!

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    I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 a little over a year ago. I recently made the mistake of getting drunk and sleeping naked with someone without telling him about my diagnosis. We did not have sex but there was accidental genital to genital touching and rubbing and now I am freaking out that I potentially gave him herpes. I was not having an outbreak and I am not too familiar with viral shedding. Any advice? I feel so guilty and don’t know what to do!


    Hey Carly! If you didn’t have an outbreak, it’s unlikely you transmitted. Genital HSV-1 rarely ever sheds and it’s less likely from female to male. What I understand about shedding is this:

    First 6 months from initial outbreak, you’re shedding 13% of the time
    After 6 months, 7% of the time
    After 2 years, 4 days out of the year

    And even if you were shedding, doesn’t mean it would transmit.


    Hi Carly,

    Don’t freak out. I’d like to expand @Sister7277 explanation.
    1. 50%-80% of Americans already have HSV-1, and normally oral. So the chances he already has it are high. If he has it orally, he won’t get it.
    2. Genital HSV-1 transmission with genital to genital contact is extremely rare. Why? Because HSV-1 doesn’t like the sacral ganglia and it’s not its’ favorite place. Viral shedding is 2%. HSV-2 genital has 12%-20% of viral shedding (@sister7277).
    3. You get genital HSV-1 from oral sex. If you begin your sexual life without having it. Normally, people get oral HSV-1 during childhood, so they are immune to get it in another part of their body.
    4. HSV-1 genital has less frequency of outbreaks. It’s 1.2 per year.

    Conclusion: You shouldn’t even be afraid of transmitting genital HSV-1 with genital contact. If you had oral HSV-1, and you were going to perform oral sex on a guy, yes, you should be afraid and disclose it. Disclosure of genital HSV-1 is more trust than transmission, dear.

    So, you are fine. He didn’t catch it. Knowledge is power. Having HSV-1 genital is completely different than HSV-2 genital.
    Calm down and get more information about HSV-1 genital. Chances you date a guy with HSV-1 and doesn’t even know are extremely high.
    Watch on youtube an interview called: Herpes episode with Terry Warren. She is one of the best researchers about herpes. There you will get a lot of information. Even doctors don’t know the difference between HSV-1 and HSV-2 genital. You got genital herpes, yes, but you got the nicer one.


    Also. HSV-1, if you didn’t have a genital outbreak after the first one for a year. You are 85% sure that you won’t have an outbreak in your life.

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