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January 1, 2015 at 8:56 pm #19546PinkCamperParticipant
oh my gosh, Dr Kelly. I am so inspired by your bravery and positivity. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You make me feel stronger and less ashamed.
My H story began 15 years ago when I was 19. I was a bit of a late bloomer; i didn’t have my first kiss until I was 17! I was a rule following, straight-A student. The summer after my freshman year of college, I fell crazy in love with a hilarious, cute, and smart co-worker while working at my summer job. We were mad about each other. Four weeks into the relationship we were planning our future together. It was one of the best times of my life. A few days after the first time he went down on me, I noticed a cold sore on his face. I still remember sitting in his lap that day asking him what it was. (knowing what it was.) I had previously read that you could get GH from a person with cold sores, but at that point I didn’t realize how easily it could happen. Six weeks into the relationship, we were getting ready to head back to our different universities and i started feeling sick. It kept getting more painful and I got very worried. I was diagnosed in my college infirmary a few days later. Hearing the words ‘does your boyfriend get cold sores?” confirmed my worst fear. I couldn’t believe it!! My best friend came with me that day, and we sat at the back door steps hugging and crying. My innocence was gone. I had been served up a big bowl of ‘life isn’t fair’ and it was crushing.
My feelings for him became very complicated. Come to find out, he had been getting cold sores very regularly his whole life. He got it from his mom. I still loved him but how could he have been so unbelievably careless with my health?? Was he even sorry? Was I still desirable? I felt like I couldn’t talk to him about my pain. I became very resentful. It was difficult for me to reconcile it all in my young head. He had tarnished the way I saw myself. We unraveled. After two years together, he broke up with me. I was again devastated. I was now all alone in this. I still think about him sometimes and wonder how it would have gone had this not come between us. Maybe it was just young love, but I think we had something special.
I have dated and loved several good men since then. The talk is never easy but it’s gone surprisingly well in most cases. I’ve also told most of my close friends. Getting my secret out makes me feel more free. The physiological aspect is what impacts me the most. I developed endometriosis in my early 20s. I’ve always thought my mental anguish somehow caused it and after reading the Louise Hay material in Dr Kelly’s book, I think that is quite possible.
I have come a long way in my journey. I now know that it’s just a part of my story, not my whole story. Also, I started seeing a counselor a few years ago and that helped a lot, too. (i should have found someone to talk to in college.) Herpes has definitely been my toughest teacher. It has surely taught me to be more compassionate, among other things. I continue to learn and re-learn it’s lessons.January 2, 2015 at 5:00 pm #19547Dr. KellyKeymaster
Thank you for your kind words.
I agree with you that herpes can be our greatest teacher in life. I am so proud of you for breaking through the stigma and realizing that herpes does not define you.
Isn’t it amazing how much we can learn about ourselves when we begin to link our symptoms to our struggles? Herpes can be such an amazing teacher of self love….and once we can grasp that, we can become a bright and shining light unto the world.
Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story.
Live. Love. Thrive.
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