I Was So Surprised

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    Celestina
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    This has been a difficult year for me…
    Here I am trying to start a new life in a new environment when one night with someone very special later became a reason for concern….
    Days after I slept with him he had an outbreak. He asked me about the husband I left who was having an affair and asked me to get tested, specifically for herpes…
    I went to a clinic and they said they were doing a full STD panel. To my surprise I discovered this did not cover herpes, so I went the private route and paid for a type specific test.
    I got the results a couple days ago… HSV2
    Now, I have never had an OB, ever, never had reason to even suspect anything like this, but in retrospect there was a period of 6 weeks in the spring when I was sick with fevers, fatigue, and urinary discomfort, in which I had many tests run and they found nothing wrong with me. Now I am wondering if that was because of the herpes?
    I have no idea how long I may have had this, or where I could have gotten it, and to me that doesn’t matter as much as how I go on from this moment.
    I have let my ex know of my results as well as the man I was with who alerted me to this.
    I keep trying to tell myself, this is just a virus. I know from my college experience that we are made up mostly of virus cells and that almost everyone will have contracted one form of this virus or another whether it be CMV, chickenpox, shingles or HSV…
    I keep telling myself this is no different than getting any common virus and that I am still the same person I was before I got my diagnosis.
    But I have to be honest and admit that rationale has not held back my occasional tears, my fears, or my questions. But I am trying to educate myself and take good care of myself to allow my body to keep this virus under control.

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