I feel so all alone

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  • #19586
    Piracart
    Participant

    I am 22 years old and I have had herpes for over 4 years now. I still suffer from outbreaks several times a year and have not figured out what is triggering them. I was on Valtrex for a while, but it didn’t seem to help and it upset my stomach. I was diagnosed with genital herpes my freshman year at college after fooling around with a guy at a party. I still feel so stupid! We didn’t even have sex, but now I have to live with this life long curse. I barely kissed a boy before that dreaded night, but the alcohol was flowing and I made some poor choices.
    I am an Indian woman, born in America, but was brought up by my parents who didn’t speak any English. Life has been hard for us. In my culture, women are meant to be “pure” before marriage and arranged marriages are still quite common. I want to please my family and would rather date another Indian man, but I am so fearful that I will never be accepted. I have never told anyone about my having herpes and I am scared to death that my family might find out someday.
    I am so glad I found Pink Tent and all I want is to feel normal again. I feel dirty and so ashamed of my actions. I just can’t seem to forgive myself and every time I have an OB, I am reminded of how I screwed up my life.

    #19587
    Tara44
    Participant

    Believe me, you are not all alone. I too felt alone in the beginning. What I am now realizing is that herpes can only ruin your life if you allow it to. Stop beating yourself up. You have done nothing wrong. Start by forgiving yourself and loving yourself. There is a man out there for you!

    #20449
    Becky
    Participant

    You are so not alone. I have had this for 18 years now. I got it when I was 18 🙁 My entire adult life I have dealt with this and has caused a lot of pain but what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger… How are you dealing with this now?

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