Holding so much anger..help!

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    Dr. Kelly

    I’m not even 100 percent sure that I got H from a fling I had in the summertime, but I hold so much anger and hate towards him! The reason I think he did give it to me is because my ex who I was with before him, was clean. It’s making my life miserable. He is NOT a good guy and I figured that out very quickly, but my irresponsible choices left me with something for the rest of my life. He’s rude, and now he is even trying to date one of my good friends. She knows all about my issue, but still continues to talk to him. She claims she would never hook up with him, but why would she even need to talk to him? She even asked if I still had feelings for him. HECK NO, but she knows best why I feel so much hate towards him yet still does that! Also, I would never want her to contract it! I need to let go and forgive so I can move on. Does anyone have advice? I’m so tired of feeling mad and angry!

    Dr. Kelly


    I can totally understand your anger and hate. These are normal feelings as you process your emotions. Now’s the time to take back the reigns and focus on your health and healing. Hating him delays your healing process.

    I would encourage you to practice forgiveness of yourself and “him”. If you have never practiced forgiveness as a healing tool, there is a whole chapter in my book about it. One simple thing you could do is imagine “him” and say “I forgive you” in your mind several times a day. Also say this out loud to forgive yourself.

    Believe me….miracles can happen once you transition out of the feelings of being a victim to your circumstances. It never rights a wrong, but it does allow you to release the anger and hate which is eating you up inside.

    I send you many blessings.

    Keep us posted.

    Live. Love. Thrive.
    Dr. Kelly


    I’m 23 and got diagnosed about a month ago. The guy i was with pretended to be such a nice guy in the beginning. It’s only now that i realize he was playing me the whole time. And guess what, he also gave me herpes. When I told him, his reaction was pretty convincing that he didn’t know that he had it. Turns out that he is a total a-hole that was just playing me the whole time, telling me everything that i wanted to hear. So now I’m not sure if he really wasnt aware that he was infected.

    I feel so lost now. I dont know how to cope on my own. I thought I really loved him, part of me still does. I thought that we were going to get through this together. Turns out that I was just being naive.

    Any advice on how to move on would be greatly appreciated.

    Dr. Kelly

    Thank you Dr. Kelly for your response! Means so much

    Maura- I got Dr. Kelly’s 30 day challenge, I started to journal, and I put affirmations all around my room for when I was feeling down. I have never felt better! I had to forgive and move past all my anger towards “him” and myself. Once you can do that, healing begins. If he is playing you, he is NOT the one for you. I was nervous about dating at first, but herpes has helped me make better choices for the kind of guys I go for. I have told 5 guys since Aug, 14 when I found out (been sexually active with one), and ALL of them have been perfectly okay with it. I told my ex/best friend, because I wanted him to get checked, I told a close guy friend, and 3 guys that I was seeing. They have respect for my story, and liked me for me. This does not define you, and I promise you will be okay. Facing this alone has brought me so much inner peace. I really had to do some soul searching, but I know you can do this!

    Stay strong!


    Hey Jess,

    Your story is giving me hope in the dating scene. I recently broke up with my long term BF only to get H from the new guy I was seeing. We’re not together now but I am completely shy about dating again. And I just met a new guy and I am already finding myself worried. But knowing you had success is amazing. I hear you about the affirmations! I have about 20 post-its in my house. I swear it works.

    Thanks for sharing.


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