Hideously unfriendly “clinician” for my first appointment

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    So I haven’t had an official test yet as I’ve found it so hard trying to get a test anywhere. The doctors have kept me waiting a week for a call back. The clinician was so impatient and rude sounding on the phone. I am dreading going in for a swab. I know I haven’t had official diagnosis yet but I know they’ll say it’s Herpes. I was so mortified describing my symptoms on the phone and she was trying to get me to basically shout it down the phone 😭. She acted annoyed that I wanted to come in for a swab and was like. If you get a swab it isn’t including treatment OK! You’ll have to go elsewhere. I’m trying so hard not to drink booze at the moment but being treated like some annoying little shit that wants to come in for a herpes diagnosis has upset me so much. Covid has made it so difficult to see any doctors and get any advice. Feel so alone and haven’t told anyone in my life yet except the guy I slept with who also didn’t offer sympathy 😔😔
    Anyone else getting horrible doctors?


    Ohhh what an awful experience. Where are you located?

    I work closely with a couple of women’s clinics, I could try to recommend somewhere. Failing all else, try Planned Parenthood.

    In the mean time:
    1) your worth is not determined by the person on the other end of the phone
    2) your body, YOURS, even with imperfections, is beautiful and strong.
    3) your sleeping partner is probably having an emotional reaction – shame, guilt, sadness, anger. That’s ok. Treating you poorly is not. Empathize and tell them what you expect (but be prepared to give back, too!)

    Good luck, friend.


    Thanks Annie. Located in Bristol, UK


    I experienced similar treatment when I went in for my swab, and I left the place in tears from the ordeal. I yelped in pain as the woman took the swab (it was my initial outbreak so it was extremely painful, my recurrences haven’t been very painful) and she had the nerve to turn to me and say “I don’t know what else you want me to do, this is the only way to do it.” She acted as if I was flailing around the table when I actually was perfectly still, I just wasn’t expecting the pain to be so intense. Then she had the nerve to suggest to me that my partner was unfaithful, which was completely inappropriate, not her place or the time to bring such ideas into my mind. Then she casually and coldy left the room, didn’t give me any useful information or provide me with any sort of comfort. I am so sorry that you had to experience somebody making you feel that way, I know what that is like and on top of all the emotions you experience from what you are already going through, the last thing you need is someone to be so callous towards you. I have honestly found more useful information and comfort from this forum than I have from any doctor.

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