So, I got herpes about 8 years ago in my early 50’s after dating someone after my divorce. I’m now 59. It was devastating and I’m still struggling with the physical symptoms as well as the shame and disappointment of knowing I’ll never be free to really enjoy sex again. It’s just not fun for me, and I’ve resigned myself to celibacy. I have a partner of 5 years, but we don’t have sex and neither of us cares. To be honest, sex is just too much trouble (the condoms, the lube, no oral sex, the breakouts from friction! Ugh) and the spontaneity is gone, not to mention the worry of me passing this virus on to him. The whole thing is stressful so I avoid sex completely. It is an option, and one that I’m ok with (for now).
I know this isn’t what most people want to hear, but this is the conclusion that I have come to, and it’s alright to NOT have sex. I’ve had great sex in my life, so I’m grateful for that but it’s not the end of the world if I never have it again. There are many other things in
life, and it can be freeing when sex isn’t central to the relationship. Just another perspective! Hope it’s helpful to someone.
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