I recently got tested a couple days ago after my boyfriend suggested. I had no symptoms whatsoever and had previously been treated for chlamydia. I find out that I tested positive not only for chlamydia but also HSV1. I’m not so sure he got it from me since he never went to get tested and cheated on me. My whole life shattered when 15 years of my life went up in flames in an instant. The worst part is that he accused me of knowing all along when I was just as shocked and confused as he was. I was angry and blamed myself for our relationship being over. I felt disgusting and thought the life we planned together could never happen for me. Who will want me now ?
I am so sorry to hear this Jade. He acted out of anger and said things that were not true. Sometimes it easier to blame others because it’s easier than turning the blame inward. At the end of the day, people are not screened for HSV, they are only tested when there are symptoms. There is no way of knowing who gave it to who or how long either of you have had it. Like you said, if he didn’t get tested after cheating, he has no idea when he got it. Regardless, that sounds like a painful conversation and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
I know how heartbreaking this all can be. If he cheated on you though, then that tells me that he might not truly respect and honor all the gifts you can bring to a relationship. There is a better mate out there that would walk this path WITH you and honor you every step of the way. You deserve to be deeply loved, respected, and honored.
You are not your diagnosis. You will get through this and find the person that is meant for you. You can still have everything you have ever wanted and more. There are so many women I have worked with whose dreams of marriage, partnership, and motherhood have become a reality.
Maybe you actually haven’t met the love of your life yet and when you are ready, he will appear.
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