Disclosure went poorly

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  • #40502
    Runaround
    Participant

    Hi all.

    New to the forum, not new to ghsv-1. I recently started dating again after a breakup with my long term partner and it’s been stressful to say the least. I’m in need of a little support because I just had the disclosure talk with someone and it went really badly. He freaked out. Said I was scaring him, asked if he had it (we did not sleep together but one night it got hot and heavy, I told him he couldn’t go down on me and he went for it anyway which is another story entirely)

    We were intimate again right after the talk (I felt used, we’ll just say that.) He stayed and cuddled and said he just needed to do research etc etc. Fast forward to a few days later he sends me a text saying he has feelings for me and doesn’t want to stop dating, but he doesn’t see it working out in the long run.

    I’m just broken. I really fell for him and now I don’t know what to do with all of these emotions. I’ve had this going on 15 years (after an assault) and have never had anyone react this way. And now I’m super terrified to go through it again + am back in this place where I don’t think anyone will want to be with me. How can I cope?

    #40504
    Tina
    Participant

    First off I’m so sorry that he handled it so poorly! At the same time, maybe this was a blessing that he disclosed early on how he will really treat you as a partner in life. You need someone who accepts you for who you are, long term. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve. That is just as much as anyone else deserves <3

    #40512
    am09souc
    Participant

    This guy sounds like a jerk, honestly! I’m terrified of having to date again and tell someone new about my hsv. But just remember, the right person will NOT care about your diagnosis. They’ll know that you are an amazing beautiful and amazing person, and that your diagnosis does NOT define you. You are strong and perfect.

    #40521
    gogirl84
    Participant

    It sounds like this helped reveal how he truly feels about you. His problem, not yours. I’m sorry he reacted that way and left you feeling hurt but it’s good to know these things as early as possible because in the long run, the hurt would run much deeper.

    #40634
    Starryeyed
    Participant

    I’m sorry you had to go through this! Even though I’ve been positive for 9 years, I get sent right back to the initial feelings of self doubt every time I get rejected due to this. The other ladies are right, he revealed who he was, believe him! I went through something similar just recently, and after the initial shock I was thankful that relationship barely made it out the gate.

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