Tagged: Not Disclosing
July 28, 2019 at 11:59 am #39308
this guy that i am dating , i didnt tell him that i have herpes until after we had sex multiple times. i was scared of getting rejected. scared to tell him and face the fact he wouldnt wanna be with me if he knew i had it. i convinced myself that as long as im not having an outbreak that i cant pass it on to him when that isnt true. i put him at risk of getting it. and i dont know if he will ever be able to forgive me for not telling him sooner , before we had sex. it had only been about a month when i decided i had to tell him. i didnt wanna get deeper involved with him without disclosing that i had it. he deserved to know. i just wish i told him sooner.July 29, 2019 at 4:47 pm #39310
I am so proud of you for finally telling him that you have herpes. I know it can be such a scary, vulnerable thing to do!
You are not alone in this! There are many women who find themselves in this position of being intimate with someone before disclosing.
Unfortunately, many doctors even tell their patients that they don’t have to tell partners since it is so common. I definitely don’t agree with this. I believe that our partners deserve to know.
How did he respond?
I encourage you to recommit to telling the truth to your partner regardless of what can be uncomfortable. This will allow you to start to repair the trust that may have been lost.
Let us know how it goes.
Live. Love. Thrive.
Dr. KellyJuly 29, 2019 at 7:59 pm #39312
Thank you, it was really hard to tell him but i know that i had to be honest and let him know. and he was upset that i didn’t tell him before we had sex. he told me that he needs some space for the time being. its been a few days since i told him on Thursday. I’m gonna try to reach out to him and see how he is doing.July 30, 2019 at 7:49 pm #39324
Having someone need distance after this is a common response.
Do you know some of the facts about transmission to help him through this?
If not, be sure to download our free “The Facts” download from our website by going to resources>the Facts
Keep us posted.
Live. Love. Thrive.
Dr. KellyJuly 30, 2019 at 9:12 pm #39325
Yes i know, right now i just need to give him his space so he can process all of this. im just glad he knows now and can get tested. and thankyou ill check that out.July 31, 2019 at 3:05 am #39328
How do i get him to forgive me for not telling him sooner and start to rebuild trust between us?August 19, 2019 at 2:41 pm #39392
ssshangaParticipantThis reply has been marked as private.August 19, 2019 at 2:59 pm #39393
Unfortunately, one can never make a partner forgive. The best thing you can do is have your actions align with your words. Recommit to being your word and honoring your truth. Sometimes the trust can never be repaired and other times it can. Practice forgiving yourself and make a new commitment to speaking your truth even in the face of FEAR. This is one of the tenants of really being a
Pink Tent Goddess
Dr. KellyAugust 20, 2019 at 12:20 am #39394
Thanks for the response I will honor my words going forwardAugust 20, 2019 at 12:26 am #39395
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