Diagnosed 6 weeks ago, life has stopped

[Wynne]

I didn’t know much about herpes, as no one I knew had it. I had not ever been tested for it even though I got tested for other STD’s fairly regularly. My doctor said if I never had symptoms or had a partner who had it, I didn’t need to get tested.
About 7 weeks ago some crazy stuff happened at work and they laid off most of my department without warning. There were only three of us left and suddenly we were doing (and still are) the work of all the others who had been let go. The stress was unexpected and heavy. I couldn’t sleep, I ate terrible foods and I cried all the time. I was in front of the computer way too much and didn’t get regular exercise. I broke out in blisters on my genitals. I had no idea what was going on so I Googled it and decided that I better have a herpes test. Just to rule that out, as my boyfriend didn’t have it and I had never known any of my past boyfriends to have it. Well, the blood test was positive. My world changed right then and there. I told my current boyfriend (9 monthsdating) and he thought he must have had it unknowingly and gave it to me. He had a blood test. Well, his test was negative. I asked my doctor how that could be and he said I could have caught it as many as 20 years ago and never had an outbreak until now. I then remembered someone who I dated in 2003 right after I got divorced. I found his prescription for Valtrex in his bathroom and asked him what the hell he was keeping from me. He swore it was for “lip sores”. We broke up soon after, and then I never got any outbreaks after that so I didn’t think I had it. Well, now I know I do, maybe I have had it all this time and didn’t know, and my boyfriend does NOT, so the world has stopped for us. He won’t kiss me, hold my hand, or of course, have sex with me now. I’m on daily Valtrex but he is very scared of catching it. I don’t have a current outbreak but I still feel like I am u unlovable.

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