Diagnosed 4 days ago, devasted.

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Mikayla 3 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #31402

    natber2788
    Participant

    My name is Natalie and I’m 31 years old I have been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend of 13 years. About 2 weeks ago I started having symptoms of what I thought was a UTI, burning during urination, and by day 3 my vagina felt swollen by day 4 there were what looked like blisters along my labia and my butt cheeks the pain was horrible I went to the doctors as I could no longer bear the pain. A swab was done and sure enough the rules came back HSV1. At hearing those words I felt nothing at first I was numb but not too long after it hit me like a ton of bricks I have something incurable how could this happen! I am still trying to process this. I told my partner he has been supportive but soon thereafter guilt sets in for him as he came to the realization that when he was 13 he had a bad bout of cold sores all over his mouth and nothing like that had happened since but he did have one bump on his inner lower lid and I guess ignorance got the better of the both of us and we didn’t realize the virus lays dormant and once you have a cold sore it’s already in you and of course we did not realize it could be transmitted from his mouth to my genitals. My partner is filled with guilt that he is the reason I am infected I keep reassuring him it’s not his fault but emotions are high and all over the place right now. I feel so many things and have so many questions like can my boyfriend pass the oral hsv to my mouth by kissinge or am I immune because I already have the virus I’m scared to kiss him and we just don’t know what we are doing…

    #31478

    Liv
    Participant

    Hi Natalie, I’m so sorry to read about your diagnosis. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 about two weeks ago and since then I’ve done a ton of reading. My doctor wasn’t much help to me when I asked him questions. But one of the things I learned is that once you and your partner have it, it’s in your blood and you can’t pass it to each other. I’m not sure how true that is, and I am still trying to understand it all myself. I also read that it’s extremely important to be abstinent from sex during an outbreak because you can develop sores in other places if exposed to the already open sores. I hope I am explaining it right. For me this is all still so confusing, and I’m trying to take it one day at a time, with the coping stage. I also learned that stress can cause outbreaks as well. It’s a hard thing to do, avoid stress but once we know something, that information makes it harder for us not to stress. I hope everything gets better for you however. I feel like this is a time for you and your boyfriend to really bond and get through this journey together. You both can learn about the virus more and support each other. I hope it all works out for you Natalie, if you need anyone to talk to, you can always reach out to me here. Thanks so much for sharing your story.

    #31631

    natber2788
    Participant

    Thank you for taking the time to read and respond some kind words! Your words put some peace in my mind and makes me feel less alone! Even though your diagnosis is recent as well you seem to be doing quite well keeping it together and your right getting a ton of information is important my boyfriend and I have been doing alot of research it just sucks when we have such specific questions but all we can do is keep our heads up and stay strong! If you ever need to talk know that I’m here!

    #34893

    Mikayla
    Participant

    Hi Natalie, I’m sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. This virus is so strange to how it attacks everyone so differently and sometimes does nothing to others. And your story is like many I’ve seen on other forums. You’ve been with your boyfriend for 13 years and just now contracted the virus. You would think it would have happened right in the beginning of your relationship. Have you been taking medications for this or letting your immune system do it’s thing? I’m very interested to see how your outbreaks are. According to a lot of research I’ve been doing, people rarely experience recurring HSV 1 genital outbreaks.

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