I am currently in college, and I am interested in a more casual sex/hook up lifestyle. I was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 last March. I broke up with my ex in May (for reasons besides getting a herpes diagnosis), but now I am wanting something more casual. I am from a small college where word gets around easily, so disclosing this information to a potential (and possibly talkative – sometimes it’s hard to tell) one night stand or hook up is daunting. If I am not having an outbreak, am on antivirals, and always use condoms would it be necessary to disclose the information? I am a very educated woman. I have read up on HSV to a great extent. One of the reasons why I question it is that people with cold sores kiss their partners all the time when no cold sore is present. Is this the same risk as having sex with no outbreaks genitally? The person I am hooking up with may not even ask if I have been tested, so are they are putting themselves at risk too? I do not want to seem immoral with this reasoning, but I guess I just do not know how easily transmitted this virus is even in terms of asymptomatic shedding. I do not want to feel like my sex life is completely changed now that I am single and do not want anything serious with anyone. I know having an STI is a big responsibility for myself and others, but any advice would be great.
Your post is super honest and normal. I appreciate you for sharing it. I’ve felt and thought all of the same things. Since I’ve been diagnosed I’ve had 6 partners and using I was careful. I told them. I used antivirals during outbreaks, reverted to oral sex and condoms if I was unsure but 3/6 still got it. I don’t have an answer for you at all but in my experience giving it to someone unintentionally feels awful.
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