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December 14, 2014 at 2:18 pm #19568Dr. KellyKeymaster
Here is my story. I know every story is different but every story is important to hear. From every story I have read I connected to something in it. I am amazed at the honesty and diversity of every story and it has saved me from some deep places. I was only diagnosed a week ago.
I was divorced a year ago. I was married for 14 years and with my ex-husband for 17 years. Our reason for divorce was his inability to help support us and the secrets he kept. I tell you this because I never thought anything of it when he never shared his past, his struggles in life and was hiding his feelings. I never knew about his past girlfriends, I never knew about how he felt about life in general, I would ask and he would brush it off. I found out things financially he was doing behind my back and when he was approached by me he blamed others and said he didn’t want to bother me with it. I wanted more in my life with my partner. He never showed up for the divorce hearing – for me or our two boys. We were seperated in the house for 1 1/2 year because he could not afford to move out. When he finally left I felt a freedom. I got on line dating and probably dated 30 guys. I wanted to wait until I meet someone I connected to before I had sex. I hadn’t had sex or been intimate in 3 years. I met a man and we hit it off and on our second date we had unprotected sex and I got herpes. When I found out I went home and got a bottle of sleeping pills and Advil and wrote a letter to my friends and family. I had it all planned – I had been through too much and this was another thing. I could not go on. Who would care? I don’t know why I didn’t do it but I would say it had something to do with this website. I read stories all night of women who never told their husbands and had children, women who had great relationships, women who saw it only as a part of them not all of them, I listened to stories and stories and for some reason I decided to live. Is it easy? No we all know that – but I believe everything happens for a reason – and I will find my reason. I know it doesn’t define me but sometimes I have my moments. My diagnosis is new and still in the fresh stage. I contacted the man who I believe gave it to me – he went and got tested but has not shared the results yet. I have always had a trust issue and I am not completely sure he will share honestly – to be honest?! But I felt he needed to know….he took me to lunch and we talked about other things. He said I like you but did not discuss contining to see me…I am fine with that but he was kind and supportive and didn’t run away. I guess it could have been worse. I have decided to only confide in one close friend and keep my diagnosis to myself until I can come to grips with it.
I have started the 30 day challenge and hope it will bring me strength inside and out. I am physically active and eat well already. It will take some courage but I was so excited because medication in my body is hard I don’t feel normal and don’t like the way it makes me feel so I am looking forward to using the supplements and controlling it naturally. It is a set back once again in my life but I will handle it. I am scared – I am frightenened. I am a realist and I take things by the horns and control them not let them control me. I know this will be hard but with the support of this group and seeing my boys I think I can do it. For me I wrote in my journal last night – open and honest – it will help me be open and honest with myself. I have always been increbibly hard on myself and I think it will help me to be gentle on others and myself. Thank you for reading.
KathrynDecember 16, 2014 at 10:01 am #19570Dr. KellyKeymaster
You truly are an amazing woman! Your story brought me to tears. Thank you for reminding me of why I continue to work so hard to make this platform and information available to women. We are so blessed to have you here and no matter how hard life gets, you have the strength to keep on going and you are loved beyond your wildest dreams. Your boys need you! I believe in you and want you to know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers as you move forward with this 30 day challenge. Take everything one day at a time and know that your health and wellbeing are worth the hard work.
Live. Love. Thrive.
Dr. KellyJanuary 6, 2015 at 12:31 pm #19569Karma2001Participant
Kathryn, you. like me, have had so much dumped on us in the last couple of years. I truly wish I could sit next to you and hold you and share this sadness. I just told my story, and am trying, really trying, to reach out to people as I feel so all alone.
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