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  • #43292

    Good morning everyone from a very gloomy UK!
    I would like to introduce myself as a 31 year old women, who has been in a relationship for 13 years with my husband, on fertility treatment and whilst trying regularly for a baby was diagnosed with Herpes.
    Throughout my university years I would always have flare ups of ‘vaginal/labia splitting’ this would come and go with stress and although uncomfortable I never really thought much of it. I used to get the occasional cold sore but again, nothing too concerning.
    I put feeling ‘run down’ due to stress of uni, studying to become a nurse and living away from home.
    Fast forward a few years and into my late 20s, I was working full time as a nurse, trying to be in a relationship with someone in the army and I always thought my stress levels were easily settled.
    Year after year, I would get vulva tearing and finally after a smear I was asked to be referred to a specialist. I was seen, swabbed, given steroid creme and soap substitute and diagnosed with genital psoriasis (all STI came back clear- thankfully after being in a relationship for 10 years I hoped this would be the case).
    The cremes and washes helped whenever I had an outbreak, but there were still moments when I would feel down below and think “when am I going to feel better?”
    Sex has always been a concern, my husband is quite ‘big’ which isn’t always a good thing when you have vaginal problems, we have great sex but at times I can be in a lot of pain. This is a bit of a running joke between us, that my vagina obviously dislikes the goods received.
    Now moving into my 30s, my friends are having babies, people are moving on in their lives, my husband and I decided that maybe we should try. 1 and a half years later with no success (although not actively trying before this, we never used protection so unsure how I never fell pregnant) our alarm bells began to ring!
    We visited our GP who started the process, semen samples, blood tests, internal ultrasounds.. everything was normal and the drs couldn’t understand why we were having trouble except for “it must just be timing!”
    I was started on clomid which gave me the worst hot flashes, made me extremely agitated and emotional (which is not normal
    For me), I was researching every symptom, thinking about it 1000000 times a day and I just couldn’t let it rest, we were having regular FORCED unsexy sex which made me feel horrendous and crushed mine and my husband libido. Fast forward to two days before my period … on my FIRST cycle of clomid. I began to feel burning and itching in my vagina. My period arrived with vengeance (I felt gutted about not being pregnant). I started my SEcOND cycle of clomid and then I felt different down below, I felt my vulva tearing (was this from all the sex we had?), I immediately rang my GP who re prescribed the steroid cremes and wash however after 2 days the symptoms worsened, I now had blisters and ulcers around my vulva, labia, vaginal opening and right up to my anus and bum crack. I knew something wasn’t right. The pain was unbearable, there was puss and oozing, I couldn’t pass urine without crying and whenever I moved I would fee every single bit of skin rip! On a Sunday evening I couldn’t take it much longer, I rang our NHS 111 who immediately referred me for an urgent appointment. The DR took one look at me and said “I think you might have Herpes”. I was stunned! How could I have Herpes? But it made sense. Years of memories came flooding back, the flare ups, the way it felt and looked and how I didn’t really do much about it until I was older. I probably had dormant herpes for a long long time but it has taken a stressful month for it to rear it’s ugly head.
    The next day (during the pandemic) I travelled 40miles to the nearest STI clinic the only place who had space to see me, they swabbed me and said that it is most definitely Herpes but that I must wait for the result without overthinking.
    I left the clinic feeling emotional but OK about what the result might say. What can I do about it other than be honest and learn to love myself?
    For me it was the psychological implications, trying for a baby, doing all that I can but then falling ill with someone which now made it physically impossible to try for a baby. I’m not halfway through my second cycle of clomid I’m on my fertile window but the sores are so bad I can’t even think about making baby let alone sex! This seems like a wasted month.
    My husband has been understanding and has told me to come off the clomid as it clearly has effected me. I will not be taking my next months dose- what will be will be!
    I have started aciclovir to help clear the ulcers and I’m taking regular pain meds.
    I am obviously new to all this but as a nurse I understand that lack of self care is the biggest reason for us becoming unwell, this is something I have neglected this month! And although I am awaiting my result I am 99% sure that what I have is Herpes and I will strive to be as confident, open and honest with myself moving forward. Once I am healed, I will do what I can to make myself the happiest I’ve ever been.
    I think herpes might have saved me!


    Hi there Iv just found out today I have hsv2
    Iv been having symptoms since the beginning of November Iv been to sexual health clinics doctors and hospital and had to have a catheter put in the clinic said it was 3 weeks wait for results Iv been really suffering from vaginal itchiness and back buttocks and leg pain burning sensations and tingling and all sorts but I called the clinic and finally got results and I’m slightly traumatised can’t say this months been great I’m in a new relationship he’s been very understanding so I’m very lucky he doesn’t seem to be bothered but I feel horrible I feel disgusting and ashamed and very mentally depressed at the moment will this pass I knew from the beginning from self diagnosing but obviously wanted proper diagnosing I feel like the last two weeks have been hell I found this group which so far seems amazing but how does everyone cope I just feel infected and gross and I just don’t know how my boyfriend is even still happy to be with me I just feel like this is the worst thing I still unable to wee properly also I don’t know if anyone else has had that the sores Iv had are healing I suppose that’s a good thing but now I feel like Iv got a rash on my bum cheeks I am going to get treatment today so hopefully that’ll help I just feel lost and horrible and I just need to vent sorry for such a long thing I just need to get out what I’m thinking and feeling my names amber btw evrruone and I’m 20 Either way I hope to make friends with people who understand have a nice day everyone


    Has anyone tried the the luminance red light therapy on sores? It’s a new device that came out in 2018. It’s supposed to reduce ob when used regularly..


    Hi everyone,

    I have been watching this forum for a couple days before signing up and figured I should reach out as I’m struggling with my diagnosis.

    I’m 21 F, I was diagnosed a couple weeks ago after having my first outbreak I developed flue like symptons the sores the whole thing. Iv been with my boyfriend for 3 years we live together and co parent a child together he suffers from cold sores frequently in changing seasons and when I was diagnosed the doctor said it was likely I contracted genital herpes from his cold sores. Especially since he was having a flare up within a week of my symptoms starting.

    Iv been on the medication and my sores and symptoms have cleared I also developed whitlow on my fingers throughout the treatment which has cleared as well but I keep the area bandaged for now becuase I’m afraid.

    We have never worn condoms our whole relationship because hes had a vasectomy but now we have to wear condoms and I feel so gross like I’m this disgusting infectious thing we tried to have sex for the first time since everything’s happened which has been about 3/4 weeks and it was terrible..

    Anyone have advice or shared situation. He is afraid of getting it and I of course dont want him to get it because of my terrible experience with my first outbreak but our sex life is suffering which we have always had a very active healthy sex life.

    I dont know how to live with this diagnosis.

    Please reach out.


    I was diagnosed today with hsv 1 in the anal area. I have had symptoms for 7 days and some blisters are now ulcerated. I started treatment 2 days ago but I am concerned there are new blisters in the area and that it is spreading locally. Is this normal?


    I am a 47 year old who has had HSV2 for 29 years. I usually had outbreaks at my tailbone area where the nerve is and rarely had them on the vaginal area. In the last 2 years my husband has left me, I am in school full time, working part time, trying to pay all the bills and perimenopausal with depression and hormone swings. My sleep has been difficult and I have been super stressed. For whatever reason, I the virus moved directly onto the clitoris area and has not gone away for 5 weeks now. I have tried acyclovir/famcyclovir, red marine algae, L-lysine, topical zinc sulfate cream, and NOTHING has relieved it. I can’t sit comfortably, every night I try to leave my vaginal area open to air and pray it will stop causing searing nerve pain to the clitoris. I am afraid now that I will never be able to have a partner, or even masturbate because I can’t get the virus to leave the clitoris area. So sad and frustrated. Does anyone know if any topical treatments exist that work?


    Hi Everyone,
    I received the terrifying news last week that I have both HSV-1 and HSV-2. I went to my OBGYN because I’ve been having recurring outbreaks of bacterial vaginosis, but I also developed 2 sores on my labia around the same time. My boyfriend and I really thought the sores were friction blisters because we weren’t having vaginal sex due to the BV and using other measures to fulfill our sex drives (if you follow me). So I figured I’d ask my doctor about this during my exam. She took a quick look and told me it was herpes (OMG!!! Complete SHOCK!!!). She didn’t do a swab test because there were no supplies due to COVID testing. I asked about treatment and she brushed me off saying it wasn’t necessary because I have a boyfriend (ridiculous advice). After leaving the appointment I learned there was a blood test and requested I get this done to have some sort of confirmation…which came back positive for HSV-1 and HSV-2. My concern is that my symptoms were not at all consistent with a normal outbreak. I only had 2 sores, they never blistered- just turned into small “lesions”, and I never had any scabbing when they were healing. They just went away. So is there a chance my test was a false positive? I’ve read a lot about this being a possibility. PS- My boyfriend is so freaked out we’re likely breaking up because of this nightmare. I don’t know what to do!!!

    Thanks for your advice…


    Hello hun, I know that feeling, when you start having suicidal thought. I too went through worst times and all I can say now is thank God for the doctor who helped me with his treatment, for over six months now, I haven’t experienced any pains or outbreaks. You should mail me on so I can tell you how to reach the doctor so you too can be free from the horrible pains, symptoms and outbreaks.


    In reply to: Is this normal?


    Hello dearie, what you are going through is completely normal. There are people who also went through worse pains than you are going through because we all have different bodies so it is completely normal. I will advise you go back to you Dr or you use a completely different kind of medicine like I did which really worked for me. The everyday suppressant I was taking was having no effect at all that I had to seek treatment elsewhere and for some months now, I can happily tell you I have had no symptoms whatsoever. If you want to try the medication I used, you should contact the Dr through


    Hello @caherbert, I completely understand what you are going through as I also went through similar outbreak, only that mine was worst. Valtrex and lysine couldn’t help me anymore and I felt that ibwqs just going to die since nothing was working. I even had to stop work cos staying in the water was the only relief I could get. I came across a lady’s post here where she talked about a Dr, to cut the story short, I contacted him and I can tell you for many months now, I haven’t experience any outbreaks or symptoms whatsoever. There are some good treatment out here that we don’t know about, not the ones am seeing people spamming here with. If you want to reach the Dr, you can do that through


    I’d like to tell you my story. I am a man. I don’t know how I ended up in this forum. I was just trying to understand what happened a 14 months ago and I ended up here.
    I was dating this girl. She is beautiful, intelligent, smart, cute (I still think the same about her). After two months being together, being happy, and having sex, she disclosed to me that she has HSV-2. I didn’t know how to react. My instinct was to call my psychologist. I asked her to leave my apartment.
    I was in shock. I suffer depression with a GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). It really fucked me up. I felt so betrayed. It still hurts to remember when she said “even if you get a positive result, you can’t know if you got it from me”. The next days, I had panic attacks. I went to get tested (8 days after last exposure) and I got a negative test. However, I had to get tested again three months later. It was negative again. In 14 months, I have been tested four times, all negative. The four times I also got tested for HIV as well. In my mind, I was like “if she lied about it, she maybe has lied about other things”. I could not believe in doctors. I needed a lot of psychological therapy and several visits to the psychiatrist to be able to sleep and manage anxiety (which became OCD). It really affected me psychologically. Even though I got all the information about the low rate transmission from a woman to a man, that she already had it for several years and was really wise about her symptoms, I could not believe that I did not have the virus. A lot of people catch it in a hook-up, and we were having unprotected sex almost every day. Now I understand the days she avoided sex with me.
    All the time, I loved her. Before the disclosure, we were already talking about doing a trip during the summer and maybe living together after it if things went well. It was soul-destroying to end the relationship, to talk to her and understand that she has her own moral in relationships about when to disclose. Even though she said she liked me, loved me, and wanted to be together, I could not believe her. The trust was destroyed. I considered going back together for three-four months. In fact, I thought I could be able to overcome it and go back together, but I couldn’t. Even though I had therapy, I just realized I would not be able to trust her in simple things. In my mind, I just think any guy she disclosed it before having sex is better than me. I understand it’s hard to disclose and be exposed to rejection (I don’t think she was evil at all. She made a huge mistake), but I just feel I was not respected. I can just tell you that if she had told me before having sex, I would be with her, cause I really liked her since the beginning. I am okay with the decision. I miss her, but the trust is already damaged.
    I knew nothing about herpes before being with her. Just that is is an STD that requires treatment and causes breakouts. I am not American and we don’t even have the stigma you have in this culture. Having herpes is not a big deal, but not disclosing is a big deal. It is important to ask for consent.
    My only advice is to always disclose. I understand it is hard, but there is plenty of people that would accept you by the simple fact that “they really like you” and will take the risk.


    hey this is verry serious please help me help you get the treatment you need…


    In reply to: New to this

    This reply has been marked as private.

    I was given some tablets and numbing gel yesterday which does not work at all it is more painful to put it on that the actual passing urine which it is intended to help me with.
    But in general anything hurts, I keep getting a kind of shooting pain around the sores and it really makes me jump sometimes, the whole area is getting quite hard and the odd bits (sorry for the gross information..) especially where the first sores appeared and slightly crisping over, I assume this is a good thing but the pain is still unbareable, I would have imagined that once they started to heal the pain would slowly fade out, I understand I’m still very very early into the treatment and I know a lot of advice is to have a salt bath but Unfortunately I only have a shower cubicle and do not have access to a bath.
    Any advice?


    In reply to: Help!


    Hey, hope you are doing well. I can only say sorry but, if you want to save your relation it is better to take action now, I know its not been easy for you to go through with this alone, sometimes we feel like just given up but I know you won’t tap out yet coz you are a warrior, I have met people with the same problems but they are ok now thanks to this powerful treatment, I really think you should give a try.

Viewing 15 results - 1 through 15 (of 138 total)