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  • #42570

    I’d like to tell you my story. I am a man. I don’t know how I ended up in this forum. I was just trying to understand what happened a 14 months ago and I ended up here.
    I was dating this girl. She is beautiful, intelligent, smart, cute (I still think the same about her). After two months being together, being happy, and having sex, she disclosed to me that she has HSV-2. I didn’t know how to react. My instinct was to call my psychologist. I asked her to leave my apartment.
    I was in shock. I suffer depression with a GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). It really fucked me up. I felt so betrayed. It still hurts to remember when she said “even if you get a positive result, you can’t know if you got it from me”. The next days, I had panic attacks. I went to get tested (8 days after last exposure) and I got a negative test. However, I had to get tested again three months later. It was negative again. In 14 months, I have been tested four times, all negative. The four times I also got tested for HIV as well. In my mind, I was like “if she lied about it, she maybe has lied about other things”. I could not believe in doctors. I needed a lot of psychological therapy and several visits to the psychiatrist to be able to sleep and manage anxiety (which became OCD). It really affected me psychologically. Even though I got all the information about the low rate transmission from a woman to a man, that she already had it for several years and was really wise about her symptoms, I could not believe that I did not have the virus. A lot of people catch it in a hook-up, and we were having unprotected sex almost every day. Now I understand the days she avoided sex with me.
    All the time, I loved her. Before the disclosure, we were already talking about doing a trip during the summer and maybe living together after it if things went well. It was soul-destroying to end the relationship, to talk to her and understand that she has her own moral in relationships about when to disclose. Even though she said she liked me, loved me, and wanted to be together, I could not believe her. The trust was destroyed. I considered going back together for three-four months. In fact, I thought I could be able to overcome it and go back together, but I couldn’t. Even though I had therapy, I just realized I would not be able to trust her in simple things. In my mind, I just think any guy she disclosed it before having sex is better than me. I understand it’s hard to disclose and be exposed to rejection (I don’t think she was evil at all. She made a huge mistake), but I just feel I was not respected. I can just tell you that if she had told me before having sex, I would be with her, cause I really liked her since the beginning. I am okay with the decision. I miss her, but the trust is already damaged.
    I knew nothing about herpes before being with her. Just that is is an STD that requires treatment and causes breakouts. I am not American and we don’t even have the stigma you have in this culture. Having herpes is not a big deal, but not disclosing is a big deal. It is important to ask for consent.
    My only advice is to always disclose. I understand it is hard, but there is plenty of people that would accept you by the simple fact that “they really like you” and will take the risk.


    hey this is verry serious please help me help you get the treatment you need…


    In reply to: New to this

    This reply has been marked as private.

    I was given some tablets and numbing gel yesterday which does not work at all it is more painful to put it on that the actual passing urine which it is intended to help me with.
    But in general anything hurts, I keep getting a kind of shooting pain around the sores and it really makes me jump sometimes, the whole area is getting quite hard and the odd bits (sorry for the gross information..) especially where the first sores appeared and slightly crisping over, I assume this is a good thing but the pain is still unbareable, I would have imagined that once they started to heal the pain would slowly fade out, I understand I’m still very very early into the treatment and I know a lot of advice is to have a salt bath but Unfortunately I only have a shower cubicle and do not have access to a bath.
    Any advice?


    In reply to: Help!


    Hey, hope you are doing well. I can only say sorry but, if you want to save your relation it is better to take action now, I know its not been easy for you to go through with this alone, sometimes we feel like just given up but I know you won’t tap out yet coz you are a warrior, I have met people with the same problems but they are ok now thanks to this powerful treatment, I really think you should give a try.


    Hi. I just joined today. I got my HSV2 diagnosis on Friday. I found out my ex-live in bf of nearly 4 years was sleeping with me & someone else who has Herpes. He knowingly stopped using a condom with her all the while still having sex with me over a period of 7 months. She had no idea about me nor I her till I found out recently he got engaged to her. This is a devastating blow. I am looking for guidance & support. Has anyone taken Lysine supplements or any herbal treatments to combat outbreaks? My nurse advised me my doctor does not prescribe antiviral meds unless I get an outbreak. I think back & I might have had an outbreak last year but I am not 100% sure. I have been plagued with yeast infections my whole life & some symptoms are similar. Any help is greatly appreciated. If anyone needs to talk or email I would be happy to be in touch.


    My ex and I broke up months ago oh, and I did not find out until I was diagnosed and my first outbreak did he knew well before we broke up he was positive. He never told me. I started my first round of treatment 4 days ago yet I am still having new ulcers. They have doubled since last night. I am terrified and do not know what to do! Please help. I started taking 3000mg l-lysine a b12 complex and zinc. I also am taking 800mg Acyloviar 5* a day.


    Hello hun, why not use a better treatment. I was diagnosed 2017 and had the worst outbreaks anyone can think of. I even at a time was having suicidal thoughts. I just couldn’t bear it not even minding my family until later when a friend noticed how depressed and withdrawn I was and I had to confide in her. Am so glad I did cos she actually told me about a herbal Dr and said I should give him a trial. I actually did that and that was one of the best decisions I have made in this life cos for over two years now, I haven’t experienced any outbreaks, sores or pains. I am actually glad I found this forum some months back and I believe we should be able to help each others the best way we can. I really don’t talk about the Dr but realised its not a nice thing to keep mute, so I have mentioned him on some occasions here before. Here is a link to reach him should anyone wants to do that.


    Hi everyone,

    I’ve been looking for a community I can ask questions and find support and clarity from for the last couple of days. I was diagnosed with this condition approximately 10 days ago and confirmed via blood test 4 days ago. No other symptoms accompanied it as Google claims. Within this time, I’ve had 2 outbreaks.

    I’m 31, sexually active since I was 27, and only had 5 partners up to this point in my life. I got a hormonal IUD placed in about 6 months ago, and had my first ‘unprotected’ sex for a month since that time. (By unprotected, I mean no condom). I did not have sex for the last 5 months because my partner is in the medical frontlines of COVID. With the IUD in, I experienced three skin condition issues since that time–HSV2 was the most recent. I am Mediterranean and of course, appreciate that diet the most, I exercise 4 times a week, don’t drink or smoke or do leisurely drugs–I like to think that I maintain a good and balanced lifestyle.

    I maintain good relations with my 4 previous partners and current one obviously and I ALWAYS practiced safe sex up until after the IUD was placed in. When I asked them to be tested with my reason, their reaction was…shocked to say the least. All 5 were negative. The tests were repeated: same result. How is it possible that I have it then? I can’t argue with the results of a PCR test or the obvious outbreaks.

    I asked my PCP, GYN and dermatologist if the IUD could have something to do with this. Especially since along with my diagnosis, I also got BV and a yeast infection. I was prescribed antivirals that gave me chest tightness, stabbing chest pain and abdominal pain, headaches, toothache, nausea, insomnia and loss of appetite. Three days into the 5 day regiment, I stopped and was rushed to urgent care.

    To note, I quickly had accepted the fact that I have an incurable disease, but I still refuse to accept the fact that all three docs tell me that there is only one treatment option available and that the ‘benefits outweigh the costs’. More importantly, I refuse to accept the tonality of the responses: it’s a ‘you have it, so learn to live with it’ approach. This is a skin condition, yes; there is a societal stigma associated around it, yes; it’s also not discussed and there’s little to no support from the medical community, yes; …but who are you to tell me that ‘that’s life’ and expect me to swallow mechanical, repetitive, nonchalant reactions to something that is not only affecting MILLIONS of people?

    My current partner is clearly more medically minded than myself and mature enough to accept what this condition is and wants to find ways to work around the outbreaks. But how do I work around those when I seem to have them every week? I’m almost convinced that the IUD could be a stimulant of this condition. I wish there was a medical practitioner out there that is willing to look into all factors…not just one. In reading up on the herpes condition in general, it appears the whole population has a string of herpes in their system. What if it reactivates in other ways depending on environmental factors? Why does it have to be JUST sexually transmitted?

    Thoughts? Experiences? I’d love to hear about other with a similar situation.



    In reply to: Newly diagnosed


    Hello! I am 22 and was diagnosed with genital herpes HSV-2 back in March. I had an aggressive first outbreak and was put on treatment several days before my lab results were confirmed, so I had come to terms of what it probably was before I got my diagnosis. I had done a ton of research during those few days and learned so much about herpes! The important thing to understand right off the bat is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! and you are no different because of your diagnosis. you are not dirty or damaged, but a human being that contracted an incredibly common virus! Herpes is a very livable condition, I personally am using daily suppressive antivirals to prevent future outbreaks and preventing spreading it to my partners. I haven’t had any issues since my first outbreak! I confided in several friends and my family members, and they have been so supportive! Talking about it helps a lot and helps squash the stigma surrounding herpes! If you ever want someone to talk to, please message me and we can get into contact ❤️


    Hello! I am new to the group and was diagnosed with gHSV-2 in March. I was 21 at the time. At first I noticed some small tears and itching, I thought I had a yeast infection as I’ve had a few before. The sores developed within a day and were incredibly painful. I got on antivirals the day I was diagnosed but didn’t feel relief until almost the end of the week long treatment! I googled an at home treatment of hydrogen peroxide and baby powder and it worked wonders!! Keeping the sores dried out is crucial. I would reapply after every time I used the restroom, which was complete hell!! About a week after treatment my sores had healed almost completely with no scarring or marks. I have started daily suppressive Valacyclovir 500 mg and I have not had any symptoms since! Trust me, it will get better and you will feel normal again! Since my first outbreak was so aggressive and painful, I get the daily suppressive antivirals were the right choice for me. Hope this helps! If you want to chat, message me and I’ll let you know how to be in touch!


    It is so nice to read a post that is so similar to me and how I have been coping with all of this.

    I was sad for a few days and then just got into natural ways of keeping it at bay. I am doing all the things similar to you ladies. I like the idea of upping Lysine at certain times – weirdly I tend to get a small flare up sometimes about 2 weeks before my period?

    Also just a note; I thought I had got mine from my ex partner but I suffered with cystitis symptoms for years and I wonder if it may have just been dormant and I just didn’t show signs. I think they say around 80% of carriers can not show signs. No idea really but it may not be from your current partners?

    I also wanted to talk about sex and if you ladies had noticed a big difference in sex since being diagnosed? I am just starting to date someone and he is amazing and knows I have it. But I am so worried that when we start having sex that it might trigger it and will effect our sex life! 🙁

    I haven’t tried oregano oil so definitely going to add that to my list of things. I had considered the suppressive drug treatment or chinese herbs but I still feel I can control it myself.

    Lovely to read more positive messages! Thanks for that ladies!



    hi….I was diagnosed with hsv1 of the genitals about 2 weeks ago. I finished a 10 day course of valtrex after which all my sores had cleared up. Its now 3 days later and I have new sores forcing on my perineum and around my Anus (the original outbreak was around my clitorus and the upper part of my labia majora) is this normal? Do I need to get some supressi e treatment?? Please help


    I had barely turned 18 yrs old in my fourth inpatient treatment center for drugs and I got in an altercation with another female of course being young and impulsive. I got kicked out and sent to jail w two assualt charges this time not juvy but jail. I was released after do my time and was back on the streets homeless again being that I aged out of foster care at 18. So being in a tough spot I messaged a friend that was suspiciously trying to hard to make me hang out w her. But, of course being in that situation I had no where else to go and was going to figure it out that night but, it was the worst choice of my life, I know I sound dramatic but I was drugged w date rape drug and blacked out and woke up in bruises head to toe and slapped a Glock Everytime I didn’t call him daddy. He gorilla pimped me for a few months before I escaped. I was a virgin b4 my first date but one of those men gave me herpes and I felt like my life was over as soon as it just begun. I remember my first outbreak I was in SO much pain begging them to take me to the doctor bc I couldn’t sit/walk without it feeling like it was ripping and tearing. I remember peeing and the burning feeling like acid. What triggers my outbreaks is being sexually active but, I’m 20 now and I don’t even think about having a boyfriend I’m too scared of having to tell him and the rejection or judgement of something I didn’t even agree to. So I’m thankful I found this page and relate to every single one of these post🖤


    In reply to: Unofficially Diagnosed


    Are those tests reported to his job? I heard they were confidential unless the state requests them… he could get an at home test or go to a private clinic. I thought about doing this because I was embarrassed but because my outbreak was so severe I decided to get checked immediately so that I could begin treatment. I haven’t told my bf yet that Ive had an outbreak but I have mentioned that I got tested and that he should too. He has NEVER been tested, but says he’s never had any signs or reasons to believe that he had it. Im pretty sure he gave it to me, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions till we both have our results. Ive read several posts that say that their boyfriend refuses to get checked and honestly that just baffles me.

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