Topic: Freaking Out
I am trying to be positive but on the inside I am freaking out. I’ve decided to have sex In January of 2020 with a guy who I’ve know for months and the first time we had sex protected and then finished unprotected. I shortly got tested after and everything appeared to be okay. I usually get waxed and days after I re-wore some shorts while commando. The next morning I got some vulvar itching. A couple days later when I thought it had subsided, I had sex🤦🏽♀️, then comes my period and irritation from pads and tampons. I also scratched myself really bad in the process down there. So I noticed the bumps and a few ulcers a couple days after my period and booked an appointment on Sunday for Thursday and blisters did not appear till Wednesday. I seen a CNM who immediately looked and told me it was herpes. She took a swab test as well as regular pap testing. She prescribed me Valtrex twice a day for 10 days. A week later I’m waiting for my results but according to the note my sample was put into an expired container even though today she said there wasn’t enough fluid in my blisters even though they were fresh. I also have a yeast infection and BV that I am taking care of. I’m just so upset. I’m considering not seeing her anymore because she ruined a crucial moment in determining if I have it for sure and now I have to play the waiting game. Pray for me!
I was seeing a guy for a couple of weeks. We were out late one night, the weather turned bad and I was about an hour from my home. He insisted I stay at his place. I told him I wasn’t ready for intimacy with him yet but he was not hearing me. Eventually, we had sex. About 4 days later I started to have mild discomfort and redness, by one week I couldn’t sit down or walk comfortably. I went to the PCP because OBGYN is not open Saturdays. He said definitely HSV and put me on meds. I called the guy (who I already decided not tos see again based on bad behavior that night). He immediately got defensive. Started blaming me for infecting him. I told him I was tested negative for HSV 1 & 2 as well as all other STDs 2 weeks prior to meeting him and was with nobody else between testing and him. He then in one of his defensive rants mentions that he has had HSV1 since childhood and he isn’t having an outbreak and therefore not contagious and besides he can’t pass it to my genital area. I explained that I was told otherwise. He went to his doctor to get tested again for everything. His results and mine are both still pending.
I am so angry with him. He is not stupid. He had to have known he could pass it to me. I own my part for getting into the situation to begin with. I am still upset that he was so wreckless with my health. I have a compromised immune system with 2 autoimmune diseases as it is and now this. I am so sad. I just wanted to forget about him and now he is going to be a memory every time I breakout as well as every time I need to have “the talk” if I even get over this enough to consider datig again. I am 50 yars old, not sure it is worth the humiliation and rejection to consider dating in the future. More anger for feeling ruined and cheated. I am in too much pain to wear pants so I bought a bunch of skirts and have traded my thongs in for cotton briefs which are not very comfortable either. I would rather give birth to a porcupine than have this kind of pain!
I have burning sensation on my glutes and back of my thighs. I am trying to accept this and breathe and be ok. I am so paranoid that I will pass it to my 14 year old daughter via cups, silverware, towels etc.
Any precaustionary advice to make sure I do not pass it to her is really appreciated! Any advice suggestions etc. for someone who is just getting a handle on this, the guilt, the dirtiness, the I am ruined feelings, how to get past them?
Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.
Thank you to everyone who is on this forum. This is priceless for me.
I was recently diagnosed (last week Tuesday) and to summarize how I feel in one word is numb. I had all the typical symptoms and was doing my research and thought it may be HSV2. I went to gyn, who really didn’t say anything- took cultures and I didn’t hear back. There motto is no news is good news but what I didn’t realize is that the traditional sti/STD test doesn’t include hsv testing so I opted for to find my own way to get tested. Used an online company that gives you a requisition for urine and blood work and my igg was positive being greater than 5. Fortunately, that some company allows you to use their physicians to call in prescriptions. I immediately started valtrex with some relief. My question for you all is willy skin return to normal after the outbreak ends? Currently I feel like a lizard with how my skin looks.
Also if anyone could give me pointers to mentally manage this. I ordered Dr Kelly s book, received it yesterday and started as well as been listening to various interviews.
Any suggestions would be more than welcome
Thank you all again
Topic: Recently Diagnosed
My story…I’m a supervisor and had to recently terminate one of my employees. This employee in return was able to log into company email and send out mass email stating I have herpes. Hurt, confused, and embarrassed was an understatement. I set up an appointment with my doctor. He asked the normal questions as to why I wanted to get tested. I lied and said he missed my yearly testing when I went for check up. Results came back and everything was negative but for HSV1 and HSV2. My igg numbers were 50.8 for HSV1 and 18.1 for HSV2. No comments or nothing from my doctor. I’ve been doing my own research and I’m guessing I have genital herpes. But the question I couldn’t keep asking myself was how did this employee know my status before I did. I investigated a little more and found out she has a friend that’s a nurse that works at the hospital I got tested at several years ago. She stated that she had her friend look into my medical records. I was dating a guy who was also seeing someone else. He called me up one day and said I needed to go get tested because he thought he had something. I went and got tested and the nurse that took my bloodwork told me that they would call if my test came back abnormal. I never got a call so I went on like with my life like nothing was wrong. Now I feel like my life is over and don’t want to leave my bed. How do I suppose to handle the nurse that violated my rights? How do I suppose to live a normal life although I feel dirty and damaged? My head has been hurting since getting the news, I barely eat, and haven’t talked to my boyfriend since I got the news, actually thinking about breaking up with him because I feel like he will look at me differently now. Just need answers
I’m 20 years old and contracted HSV1 on my genitals. I feel especially stupid because it was from someone who was not worth my time at all. He promised me he was clean -stupid of me to believe him- and turns out he had never even been tested before in his life (he was almost 30!) upon asking the parter he had before me and getting testing done, it was confirmed he gave this to me. I am angry and I am hurt he didn’t care about my safety the way I have always tried to care for myself and others, and I’m mad he didn’t care the way he PROMISED me he cared. Silly is a good word. I feel silly.
I have really bad PTSD and this first outbreak has been so so triggering, I have felt foggy for most of the week and can not stop biting my lips and my nails, I have barely slept. I feel so uncomfortable in my skin. I honestly wish I could step out of my skin and walk away… if only humans could molt like tarantulas, or snakes.
What can I do? Since I can’t molt.
What if it spreads to my lips? It would honestly be impossible to tell right now if my lips are symptomatic because they hurt from anxiously biting any form of flesh off of my lips that I can. How can I keep my friends and family safe from the walking virus that I am now? I don’t know what to do. My outbreak on my vulva has basically completely gone away, and I am swearing off sexual ANYTHING for a long time. I don’t want to ever put anyone at risk of feeling this way and I don’t ever want to be made to feel more gross about myself than I already do. I’m so scared that in the stupid and pathetic search for love in some boys bed, I robbed myself of ever finding true love because now I am tainted. I hate this feeling and I hate sounding so self deprecating but I feel so weird. I feel very hopeless.
Topic: So confused- need answers
So for about 6 months now I’ve had symptoms of herpes, I’ve gone to the doctor numerous times all for them to tell me there is nothing wrong. I’ve never seen a sore down there but at least once a month I experience a burning, uncomfortable feeling. I did swab testing and also blood test and it all came back negative. I know I’m not crazy and something is wrong. I just need answers!!
I just got tested yesterday by my OB. She wasn’t clear on what it could be, but said it was “textbook looking herpes”. I cried leaving her office and haven’t stopped; my eyes are so swollen. I made my husband get tested. I feel so ashamed and dirty. I can’t stand to touch my husband or my kids. I can’t scrub my hands hard enough. There’s so much information out there on it and not a lot is helpful!
Well, today I tested positive. I remember bursting into tears. I had prayed and prayed that it would come back negative. I’m crying as I’m writing this actually and the appointment was 3 hours ago. Honestly, when I first heard it the news I didn’t want to be alive anymore. Still kinda feel that way. I feel like my world is crashing down around me. For days I have been telling myself that it was going to be negative. That I was going to be fine, that the doctors were wrong. How am I going to date? Whose going to want to date me? Let alone have kids with me some day? I don’t plan on telling my family. I don’t think I can deal with the shame that I know I’m going to feel. I can hardly handle it now. The only plus right now is that my best friend since 7th grade is sticking by me. I don’t know what I would do without her. She is literally my best friend in the whole world. I called her and just broke down and it felt good to tell her everything that I’ve been feeling these past few days. I still feel like I’m in a dream and I’ll wake up and I won’t be positive. But I know that’s not going to happen. I’m going to have this for the rest of my life and I’m going to have to be careful. Something I thought I was doing. Clearly I am very wrong. It’s funny how this is more devastating than testing positive for tb at 12. And that was something that could’ve killed me if I hadn’t gotten treatment. Definitely one hell of a Christmas present. I know that I’m not alone in this but right now I feel like I’m alone. Sure I have the support of my best friend and some other friends but they don’t get it. And everyone on here has been amazing, I just feel scared. What is my future going to hold? Is my mental health going to hold is the real question. I already have bad depression, I think it might be time to go back on my antidepressants. I honestly feel really numb, but I know I’m going to cry again later. This all just feels like a dream. Like it’s happening to someone else. I never thought in my life that I would have an STD. But yet here I am.
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