Hi, I’m 45 and was diagnosed 5 months ago. It was the worst timing as I was breaking up with someone and was like – this isn’t working and btw I just tested positive for hsv2 so you should get tested. I felt like a monster. He ended up testing negative. What a relief. I have no idea who I contracted it from and have done the mental gymnastics and list making to try and figure it out but i know it’s an exercise in futility. And at the end of the day – I have it.
I have told two previous partners – one of whom is still a very good friend now. They both reacted with kindness and respect. One negative and one yet to be tested.
While i have been keeping a very low profile on the dating scene since the diagnosis (and COVID) I have recently reconnected via email with a guy who I dated pre-diagnosis. We were intimate when we dated. We have only been communicating via email and I feel like it’s going in a great direction and I’m getting excited to see him when it is safe to do so. I’m struggling as to whether or not I should tell him before we see each other in person because who knows what that in-person vibe will be like – maybe none at all. I’m nervous that if I wait – he will react poorly and question why I waited so long. I just feel like I don’t want to tell him, if I don’t have to.
What to do?
I went in to the doctor for suspected bacterial infection and my routine STD screening as I have had multiple partners since breaking up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. I still have sex with my ex boyfriend as we do have plans to get back together after working on our mental health issues (sounds silly, but it works for us). I am 20 years old and tested positive for HSV2 with an IgG test of 1.12. I have never had symptoms so this was a huge shock. I have been reading a lot of information online, and have been wondering if it’s possible to be a false positive? I am just above the point of testing positive, so I am very skeptical. I have an appointment with my OBGYN in a couple weeks (as soon as I could get in with her) and I am just wondering what questions to ask about my condition, and what tests can be done to see if it is a false positive. I am aware of the Western Blot test, and will begin saving up for it. I am an emotional wreck, and i told my partner yesterday and he took it well, but is still very upset (he has also had multiple partners since the break up). My mental health is in a very fragile state…Help!
Topic: Really Frustrated
This guy I’ve been seeing for 3 months casually mentions recently that he cut the base of his cock shaving. Which seems very common and normal. I just so happen to make a joke that he has herpes. Now this was merely a joke as I believe the common “go to” for anything on your genitals is jokingly herpes. I definitely didn’t believe what I said considering I even “kissed it better”. We went on vacation that weekend and had sex numerous times, in every orifice possible.
The night we returned from our trip we were engaging in foreplay prior to intercourse and my vagina felt a little tender, so I cautioned him to go slow. It just so happened I had an appointment for a biopsy of my cervix that Tuesday to test for cell abnormalities due to my last Pap smear. When I saw my gynecologist I mentioned the tenderness and how sensitive I was when he did the exam. He said he didn’t notice anything of concern and wrote it off to irritation from too much friction.
My vagina was very swore and agitated from the biopsy, but I assumed it was normal. I didn’t have flu symptoms, it didn’t hurt to urinate, I was just sore. The day immediately after I’m washing myself and I feel 2 bumps on the inside of my thigh. They felt like pimples. I immediately got out of the shower and got a mirror to examine myself. The bumps were just raised. There was no puss filled anything or rash but there also appeared to be a Very small sore (literally one and very tiny) on the upper lip near my clit. Coupled with that the discomfort from the biopsy seemed like it was excessive. I had this liquid draining from me that my doctor did mention would happen for about 2 weeks but the smell was profuse. I felt something was wrong.
I Immediately went to see him the next day and upon my exam, he casually says, “oh, you have herpes”….WTF?!! He did a swab, wrote me a scrip (just in case) and sent me for bloodwork.
I took the prescription and 2 days later the sores were gone. So I figure based on all the information I read in horror over the weekend he had no idea what he was talking about because what I experienced was nothing close to the herpes I read about online, let alone the clinical symptoms.
Then Wednesday comes and I get a call I have herpes. I immediately call my partner. He gets a blood test. We’re both freaking out. BUT THEN I see my blood test and I’m only positive for HSV1 and he gets his blood test and he’s only positive for HSV1. However my doctor explains my swab came back positive for HSV2 which means it was a newly transmitted virus since I’ve yet to develop the antibodies. So I tell him the last person I slept with was back in June, it’s now November and you’re the only person I’ve slept with. Therefore you must have recently just contracted it hence the “razor cut” on your cock and now I have it.
What sucks is on paper as of now I’m the only one who “technically” has HSV2. And I’m 10000% certain he gave it to me. But with all this misinformation I’ve been reading online false tests, monogamists who suddenly contracted it, positive test with no symptoms, negative tests with symptoms; I’m really upset and confused. ESPECIALLY if he tests again in a couple months and just his luck gets a negative test (when he could actually be positive) and I’m the only one feeling like an outcast and HIGHLY discouraged.
Every itch, tingle, etc freaks me out. I’ve probably looked at my vagina 1000 times in the last 2 weeks. I feel gross, frustrated and sad.
This virus is ridiculous. You’re supposed to tell people but condoms aren’t fool proof, it might be a pimple but it just may be herpes, you can get it without symptoms, it’s not apart of standard STI testing, your test may be inaccurate…wtf is going on
It started in August 2020 with body aches and pelvic pain that lasted only a week and since I had a history of unexplained body aches, I didn’t look into it; however I went to quest and got tested and I was negative for HSV 1&2. Three week later I got a sore throat (the throat wasn’t inflamed at all according to my ENT) but I had a burning sensation in my throat. After two weeks it slowly faded away but then my tongue became inflamed. Slightly swollen with a white tongue. Went and got tested for HSV 1. Tested negative with IGG test. A week later my anal became irritated (not painful) so when I took a mirror to it, I saw little tears. I was stunt by that since I never had anal sex of any sort. I always had a burning sensation in my vaginal area. Went to my doctor and they did a vaginal culture which came back negative. A week after that I got a 24 hour rash in my cheek that I didn’t even know was there but stumbled acrossed it since I was on high alert. I went back to get another blood test (7 week post exposure) and tested negative for IGG 1&2. I don’t know what to do. Most of my painful feeling has nothing to do with a sore but more of body aches, headaches, sore tongue and occasional stomach pain and anal irritation. Now my daughter is itching all over and rubbing her eyes (I hope I didn’t expose her to it unknowingly). I’m in a nightmare because I don’t know how to accept something I keep testing negative for. I wish I just knew! Any similar stories of constant negative results? I’m going to retest at three months which is next week.
Topic: Question about testing
Does anyone have any experience or insight about blood testing for HSV1 and HSV2? Last year October I was tested for every STD, including HSV 1&2. It was after I got out of a bad relationship and hadn’t had sex with anyone (even my boyfriend) for at least 8 months to 1 year. All tests came back negative. Fast forward 9 months, I am in a new relationship and am now having my first outbreak. I did not have sex with anyone up until this new relationship. Could I have contracted the virus from my previous partner almost 2+ years ago, have negative blood test results, and just now have my first outbreak? Or is it more likely I contracted from my new partner? I know it doesn’t matter where I got it, what’s done is done, but I honestly wouldn’t be mad if it was a recent exposure, I’d actually be relieved that I didn’t just expose him now.
Topic: Is it really HSV-2?
I received the terrifying news last week that I have both HSV-1 and HSV-2. I went to my OBGYN because I’ve been having recurring outbreaks of bacterial vaginosis, but I also developed 2 sores on my labia around the same time. My boyfriend and I really thought the sores were friction blisters because we weren’t having vaginal sex due to the BV and using other measures to fulfill our sex drives (if you follow me). So I figured I’d ask my doctor about this during my exam. She took a quick look and told me it was herpes (OMG!!! Complete SHOCK!!!). She didn’t do a swab test because there were no supplies due to COVID testing. I asked about treatment and she brushed me off saying it wasn’t necessary because I have a boyfriend (ridiculous advice). After leaving the appointment I learned there was a blood test and requested I get this done to have some sort of confirmation…which came back positive for HSV-1 and HSV-2. My concern is that my symptoms were not at all consistent with a normal outbreak. I only had 2 sores, they never blistered- just turned into small “lesions”, and I never had any scabbing when they were healing. They just went away. So is there a chance my test was a false positive? I’ve read a lot about this being a possibility. PS- My boyfriend is so freaked out we’re likely breaking up because of this nightmare. I don’t know what to do!!!
Thanks for your advice…
Topic: Urgent help/ advice
Hey guys, I’m new to this forum. I am going to explain some back story so you can kind of understand my situation as best as you can. About 10/11 years ago i developed sores down there. They were on the outside of my labias. VERY painful. When i was first examined i was immediately told i had herpes. (No tests were done this was just diagnosed visually) This was by my gyno. The medication she prescribed me wasn’t working so i went to the hospital because i was in unbearable pain. After a bunch of tests including a swab, my results were that i had shingles. At the time i was only 19/20 years old so i was a very rare case. After proper medication it cleared up. Fast forward to the present and i have developed sores again, not in the exact same area but very similar sores. I went to the hospital and upon observance i was again told i had hsv 2. Within the ten years between my shingles and now i have always gotten std testing at every annual gyno appointment. This was always done through blood tests and the normal swab that they do. I never once got a positive or abnormal test result. Now, i am shocked, scared, and just dont understand. The doctor from the hospital this time said that they probably misdiagnosed me last time because shingles and hsv 2 are in the same family. I was swabbed again and i am waiting on those results. Has anyone been tested negative with all their blood tests but still had herpes? Is that actually even possible? Why would the blood tests not be accurate enough and be able to give false negatives? I just have never heard of it before. Im at a loss for words and dont really know what to expect as i wait for my swab results.
Topic: First Outbreak
Hello I was recently diagnosed and am having my first outbreak and am trying to grasp everything. I was a victim of rape and everything that could have possibly gone wrong did. When I got tested initially they didn’t include hsv testing so I will never know if I contracted it from that horrible experience or if I contracted it from my now ex. I have not been able to sleep and have just been crying over feeling like my life is over
Hey guys I’m back again . So it’s weird to me bc I got checked for all STDs bc I had sex with a new partner they asked if I wanted HIV testing I said yes but didn’t know I was getting tested for herpes as well . Two days later I got the call that I was diagnosed with hsv-2 I had no symptoms the doctor said she couldn’t do anything and didn’t offer anti virals how weird is that . It’s about two weeks since the diagnoses and I get very inconsistent symptoms . I’ll get a random tingle maybe an itch . I did have one single bump appear in the upper pubic hair zone like right below my belly button it mimicked an ingrown hair and it was gone within two days . I found a another bump even tinier on opposite side a little lower but still in the pubic area . It went away within a day or two as well . These bumps don’t hurt they don’t itch they are there and they are not . I’d also like to point out that my blood tested positive which means I would’ve had this for a while , back in January I had a procedure done where they checked for ALL stds and I came back negative. I had one partner before the procedure and didn’t have sex for two and half months after the procedure. Since March I had sex with that same partner (who had sex with one person for that period of time thag I didn’t have sex with a condom ) and I had my most recent partner whom I was with for about a two weeks when I got the diagnosis . Should I get retested ? Should I ask for antivirals? A lot of things just aren’t adding up
Topic: New Diagnosis
I just got diagnosed. I started having pain that turned into an incredible amount of pain I have never experienced. I have an autoimmune disorder and take immunosuppressants…I tried assuming it was something else… anything else. So I pushed off going to the doctor. Then it was the weekend and I couldn’t get in when it had gotten much worse. I finally went and the doctor said it was likely I had herpes…they started me on meds and did testing…gave me lidocaine..etc… I feel just so defeated. I have been reading a lot and trying to get my head right about this but all I keep feeling is how am I going to find someone who will be ok with this. How will I be able to start a family. I have been talking to one guy who is so sweet and I think we could be great together, we haven’t slept together yet..but have talked about it. Now I have to tell him this and all I keep thinking is I wish there was a way I didn’t have to.
My doctor asked if I want to be on suppressive daily therapy or wait and see how many outbreaks I get and how bad they are after this initial one. I don’t know what to choose. I am leaning towards daily suppressive therapy because of my immune problems already but what if I do that and I am one of those percentages who get one outbreak and then don’t get another one which I have read about.
Topic: Telling new oartner
Hello, I am new here. Divorced after 23 yrs of marriage. Was told as a teen after an assault that I had HSV..fast forward two marriages and a couple of long term relationships, never passed on HSV nor had any notable symptoms. Talked with my doctor during STI screening (husband had affair) and she didn’t think testing for HSV was necessary or anything to worry about after all of these years. Now here I am finding myself dating for the first time and whether to share my story with someone that is not a serious relationship. Also a first for me, being intimate when not really in a relationship with someone. Bottom line is, things got really hot and heavy and I did not share this info. A condom was used the first round but regrettably not the second. I’m terrified after all of these years I could infect someone, and two that I didn’t have the talk first. I feel disgusted at myself for the lack of integrity. Please, how do I fix this? I haven’t seen him since due to schedules etc and that was two weeks ago. I know the feeling of having someone not respect my body from the assault and husbands affair..I am no better 😢
Topic: FEELING CRAZY
After I found out my boyfriend and I were positive i became so distant with him. I couldn’t think or want anything from him. I know I am the reason he has what he has. Months have passed since our diagnoses and he has been patient, loving, caring. But it didn’t matter to me, all i can think about is what we have. When he touches me all I wanna ask is if he has it at the moment. Which I’m sure it has made him feel very ugly about himself because I haven’t let him touch me. He has had some terrible outbreaks and I haven’t had any, that I’m aware of but that’s all I picture whenever we try to be intimate. He has tooken the news way more calmly than I have. I am a terrible person. I honestly don’t understand how he has outbreaks and I don’t. Ive been grateful that I don’t have it as bad but angry at myself trying to figure out who gave it to me. We weren’t together for a whole year and I Slept with maybe 5 people.I keep trying to think back if I ever felt abnormal down there but I cant think of anything. I am ashamed of myself in so many ways. I thought about suicide before I had this diagnoses. It has amplified that feeling even more lately, I cheated on him recently for the first time. Its something I have to live with for the rest of my life. I didn’t think I would ever become this person (a cheater). It didn’t start off that way he was my friend. Whats worse he was a guy from work, I told him about what I had and after we had relations. But by the end of it he said he felt sorry for me and wanted me to feel better. After I told him we were still talking as friends he made me forget that I was broken, it was intoxicating… almost like a drug. I didn’t realize I was feeling more for him until I saw he had hickies on his neck by another person…it broke my heart. He has become a stranger overnight.During my time with him, I was falling out of love with my boyfriend. I don’t know maybe I was never in love, we had so much bad history with each other that all the good he did for me vanished. Within one diagnoses, one argument, it popped my bubble of the love I had for him. I wanted to forget I ended up losing my friend and someone that loved me. I don’t know how anyone can be so calm or accepting of this, I’m so upset. How do you even get past this? This whole time I thought I was clean. Why do doctors not tell you its not in the STD testing. Why not warn others, this is not normal, why discourage people from having herpes test? I wasn’t even aware it was an option unless you have an outbreak. all of my doctors looked at me like I was crazy for being this upset. They told me it was not a big deal, how could it not be? My freedom of sexual interaction will always be clouded by this darkness. I will always have to tell them, nothing will be the same again.
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