Topic: Just diagnosed hsv 1
Just diagnosed yesterday, I have been with my partner about 4 months and we have been having sex unprotected.. I’ve never had an outbreak until last week, my normal STD testing has been normal . He does not know yet because I wanted to wait to find out for sure before making him panic. One night we had sex, he gave me oral with whipped cream and literally two days later, I am having what my doctor has told me is an outbreak . What the chances that he has this considering we’ve been having unprotected sex for months ? What’s the chances he has given this to me? Since being with him unprotected I’ve had two uti’s and now this, however my std testing all was negative but i was Not tested for herpes considering I’ve never had an outbreak or sores. I havent seen anything on him orally . But i feel There is no way he doesn’t have it we’ve been having unprotected sex four months and this is the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like this. He still has no symptom or idea of this but after i follow Up with my doctor i want to tell him . I want To tell him now but I think I should wait til I know more.
Topic: Newly Diagnosed
Hello. I’m new to the group and newly Diagnosed. I was diagnosed earlier today was both HSV-1 and 2. I wasn’t surprised about HSV-1, because I have struggled with cold sores since I was 8. My mom got cold sores and kissed me one night, two days later I woke up to cold sores all in my mouth and down my throat. I can’t really remember, but I was told it lasted for a week. Being diagnosed with HSV-2 was shocking. Honestly I feel like my whole world has stopped. I’ve never had an outbreak or any symptoms that I know of. I’ve been with the same man for 1.5 years. I decided to get tested because it had been awhile, and I had never been tested for HSV or HIV. I’m a Health Educator and I teach my students the importance of routine testing. I would have never thought that I would come back HSV-2 positive. I’m confused and keep wondering where I could’ve contracted it. Like I said…I’ve never had an on outbreak or symptoms. Could it be possible that I contracted it when my original HSV-1 outbreak occurred? Could I have touched my mouth then touched my genitals and contracted it that way? I always thought that I knew everything there was to know about STI’s but now I feel like I know nothing. I can only hope that as the days go on that I feel more positive and hopeful.
I’m 64 and have been married for 40 years. My husband and I are like room mates and no longer have sex. 17 years ago I began seeing other men. I currently have 3 FWBs that I see occasionally – 2 I’ve known for 3 years and the third for 9 months. The 2 long term ones tested negatively for STDs when we met, as did I. The more recent FWB I took at his word when he said he’d never had an STD symptom. Silly me. About a month ago I was hit with the ‘mother of all yeast infections’ that quickly turned into something much worse. Herpes has always scared me, and as I read up on the symptoms I realized I was experiencing them one by one. It was horrifying.
I was diagnosed with HSV2. The OB was harsh, complete with oozing, stinking sores, excruciating urination, fever, rapid weight loss, and extreme leg pain. 5 weeks later I’m a lot better, but still have significant genital discomfort.
I informed my partners immediately. One of the long term ones has tested negative for HSV, for which I am extremely thankful. The second long term partner has not gone in for testing yet, but I’m optimistic he too will be negative. The 9 month FWB tested positive for HSV2. He still swears he’s never had any symptoms. Whether or not this is true I don’t know, but he remains serenely asymptomatic while I’ve gone through purgatory. My partners have all been extremely supportive.
Like many I’ve run a gamut of emotions and am trying to sort them all out. After the first shock, the biggest challenge has been not to let this define me. The knowledge is like a stain that won’t wash out. I have learned so much, including the fact that HSV testing is not standard, so if I’d sent my 9 month partner for testing, I’d still be in the same situation.
I fluctuate between disbelief, anger, resentment and uncertainty. I do not feel shame or embarrassment, just a little foolish for not being better informed.
Figuring out a new sexual protocol has been interesting.
I’ve had 2 sessions with Valtrex, and am now working on shoring up my immune system. Moducare is an immune balancer that helped my sick dog for many years, so I’m trying that. I’ve also ordered Monolaurin, an anti-viral, so will give that a go. I figure prevention is better than treatment. Still looking for a magic bullet for the nether regions.
This is a very long post. It’s good to get it all out, as I often feel very much alone. If you have made it this far, thank you. Any tips on bolstering the immune system and calming the raging vulva will be most appreciated.
My heart and hand go out to you all, and particularly to the baby boomers on here.
Topic: My story
Hello, my name is Jenna and I am from Ohio. I will be turning 30 in December and learned about a few weeks ago that I have Hsv2, genital herpes. I hope that my story below gives you hope that all will be okay, especially if you do your research on this site.
How was I diagnosed with genital herpes? A few months ago, I noticed a cut inside my cheek. Over a few weeks, it developed into a lump. I was worried that it was cancerous or even an oral hpv wart.. (I was diagnosed with high risk hpv in 2012 so that is how I came up with the oral wart story).
I went to my doctor and told him about my past Hpv history and how paps are now clear and no concerns since 2013. I showed him the inside of my cheek. He barely examined it and said that I should do a cold sore test first and if it is negative, he will refer me to ear, nose and throat doctor. I agreed and afterwards told my boyfriend of 4 years how herpes test was ridiculous because I have never had Cold sores and totally would know if I carried herpes!
So after a week, I get a call back from nurse asking for me to come in to review results. I became afraid, panicked. I began to worry about carrying HIV (remember I was sure that I didn’t have herpes so I thought perhaps every blood test looks for HIV and because my immune system was low due to virus, I wasn’t able to suppress my past hpv causing oral wart now……crazy, I know!)
I get online and check doctor’s medical portal and find where it has detected Hsv2 antibodies. I was panicked and shared news with my boyfriend. I told him to schedule doctor’s appointment asap to test for Hsv2 and HIV. I looked at my past doctor records… I knew that I had sti testing in 2013 after I met my boyfriend. Every test but hsv1 and 2. I couldn’t believe it. My last herpes test was in 2012.
Week later, boyfriend finds out that he is negative for Hsv2 and hsv1 and HIV. I am the carrier! But hey that demonstrates that you CAN have sex without transmitting to others. I had no idea about the herpes and we had unprotected sex for 4 years.
But get this, when I found out my diagnosis, I started having herpes symptoms.. tingling, slight ache, 3 to 6 tiny sores. I guarantee it is due to stress. It was like I called out to the herpes to appear due to my disbelief.
But this shows that I probably had herpes since 2012… For 5 years and it didn’t affect my life or my partner’s…. Until I got the diagnosis but I plan on following pink Tent’s course and managing these symptoms and destroying this shame. I am a beautiful woman and I know that herpes from experience is a minor inconvenience. It is a slight skin irritation or even a major one at times. Everyone’s symptoms vary. It doesn’t define someone. Please don’t listen to all the scare tactics out there (some of it was fueled by the herpes drug companies to get business).
I have faith that my life is going to be fantastic and contracting herpes has already taught me to be more empathetic and compassionate to others. If someone judges you or rejects you, that is a sign that you can find a better friend or lover out there. It is a sign that person may not be safe or empathetic, traits desirable for friendship. You now have a better detector out there to weed out the people not worth your time.
Don’t hide in shame. We must embrace what life throws at us. If you stop the self-hatred and shaming, your stress is going to decrease and the outbreaks most likely will lessen. Our bodies can be the best teachers in life.
Oh and guess what.. the sore/wart inside my cheek was scar tissue due to a cut from my teeth retainer…
My boyfriend still wants to have unprotected sex with me after my outbreak goes away. He understands there is a slight risk but I wonder how many times we had sex over the last 4 years raw with no issues. I just get so mad at the online articles saying that a condom should always be used due asymptomatic shedding. Of course wear a condom with a new partner to protect both parties (we don’t know what he has) but that isn’t realistic for committed couples and another scare tactic to reduce intimacy.
Thanks for reading my story. Remember this to will pass if you are feeling blue 😀
Topic: Mind over matter
I was diagnosed almost a month ago. The stigma and my ex-lover have been the biggest obstacles since I haven’t had to deal with severe symptoms. I contracted HSV-2 from my ex-boyfriend. I sought treatment for a yeast infection a few days after exposure, and requested a full STD screening. I tested positive via swab. Unfortunately, I slept with a friend/business associate before receiving my results. The yeast infection cleared within a few days of taking my meds so never in a million years did I expect to be HSV . Hours after receiving the devastating news I had to muster up every last bit of nerve and courage to tell my friend the news and he would need to get tested. He went that same day to my doctor for a blood test. The longest hour and a half of my life waiting with him to get called in for testing. He tested positive via blood test. This was one week after we first slept together, which now I’ve come to learn, if he didn’t have it before me, he should’ve tested negative. I told him a positive IGG blood test indicates he’s had the virus for at least 3 months, but he refused to accept the fact and blames me. Needless to say, we are not together and do not talk. I still have to deal with him for business matters. The hard part initially was the guilt and shame I felt thinking I had infected him. I was unable to deal with my own diagnosis because I was so preoccupied with his diagnosis and feelings. I’m still preoccupied, but I’ve also decided to accept I have a virus/skin condition and I will be ok. Most days I have anxiety, some days I forget. I work hard to ‘practice calm,’ and use other coping mechanisms I’m learning through Dr. Kelly’s support and coaching. I know it will be a challenge, but I’m determined to minimize it to eventually be an afterthought. This won’t define me. I hope to find support and encouragement in this forum, as well as provide support and encouragement when I can. We’re not alone and we’re still the same amazing beautiful women we were before the news. Let’s keep shining and not dim our own light.
Though my REAL Self is a vivacious and sexual being who craves passionate Love making and Intimacy. The self I wear about town always dressed modestly and holds in the sway of her hips. The spectrum of my life has been depraved of the intensity and enjoyment of sex that my body and soul is capable and desirous of.
I have lived my life repressing my Sexy sexual self for fear of Rape; Fear of pregnancy; Fear of getting a STD. I just turned 40 and have been feeling that my sexual prime is slipping away and I may never get to have some of these deep physical/spiritual experiences I crave.
SO MANY of my girlfriends have had lifelong practice of being loose and sexual with many partners and they (as far as they know) do not have any STIs. I began to experiment with loosening my standards. Everyone is doing it… It is the new normal. I basically allowed myself to engage in sexual relationship with a man who I knew was not “The One” but believed to be an earnestly good person. I got into sexual relationship before I knew him long enough to see the darkness.
When I brought up the request for monogamy he said, “I would be honored to make that commitment with you”. I never doubted he meant it because I am so incredibly wonderful and out of his league that of course it was an honor for him to be with me. I saw that this man was deficient in certain areas like finance, but I truly believed that he was a genuinely kind person with integrity. I see now that I projected a story based upon behavior he was putting on for me.
His last girlfriend was a really quality amazing woman and they had dated for 4 years with plans to get married. Turns out they were always a polygamous couple. I had just assumed that this man was a serial monogamist; and that he had stood the test of time in terms of commitment and valor. I believed his story of sexual history and recent testing. We agreed to do STI tests and I moved ahead on actualizing this and he did not..
I was in daydream stages of our involvement, thinking he was such a nice guy and there were possibilities of noble learning with him..
I had a handful of unprotected moments with this man; each one introduced by him and ended by me. It felt physically good, but I felt uncomfortable about it and still allowed those fleeting moments. I was staying up too late, partying too much, and leaking energy in my life because I was sleeping late and not standing up to my own professional goals and follow through. There was a real underlying negativity to my overall life force.
The mirage took a mere two months to completely shatter. He behaved despicably; in such an unbelievably disgusting manner by holding secret the worst most monstrous lies. I wonder if he knew he had herpes and lied about that too. It’s almost too terrible to believe.
I was so overly clear in my request and expectation: I enunciated in detail TWICE: That if he ever did have sex with another he needed to tell me BEFORE sleeping with me. I don’t even have to tell the story for it to be known. It is an archetypal story..
Two weeks in or so into our “honeymoon” stage of dating I declined an invitation to go to a bar with him for music. I was tired from staying up too late with him the previous evening and I opted to rest. That evening he had unprotected sex with a woman who sleeps with multiple partners. He never told me and he continued to engage with me intimately.
I began to feel some inner stirrings of unrest and jealousy about his texting and talking to other female friends. He emphatically denied any sexual relations with these women. However, it turns out he was sleeping with more than one. I still can’t believe he could lie to my face about something that could so negatively impact my health. Yuck x 10!! This guy so UNloved HIMSELF that he likely slept with a woman who has Hep C! I have tested clean and will retest. This is the stuff of nightmares.
I DID, of course, test positive for both HSV 1 & 2.
I currently have un-relenting growing discomfort and pain of an anal fissure and hemorrhoid at the moment. It has been 3weeks and getting worse with remedy… Inspired by the “Fear Cuts Deeper than Swords” post I am acknowledging that I may be experiencing my first herpes outbreak.
I am stunned that anyone could treat the sanctity of my body with such disrespect. Oh, the brutality of total betrayal and dishonesty.
Is looking into the ways that I allowed it!
Dear Self, what was I thinking!?
How could I have sold myself out so cheaply?
Believed fantasy and words over my own inner knowing?
And some immature part of me is just so resentful that I arrived late to the party and was duly and immediately punished. Why does everyone else get away with it!?
And here I am, slowly Surrendering to what IS
Topic: Nerve pain the vagina
Has anyone every experienced vaginal verve pain after an outbreak? I was diagnosed 15 years ago with genital herpes and I take 1 gram of Valtrex daily. However, I have been experienced pain in the vagina. I went to see my GYN and PCP both and requested testing for yeast and other STIs. All were negative. I am still in pain and have no diagnosis as to why I am in pain. Help?
My name is Melissa. I was diagnosed with herpes last Friday, Oct. 14. After days of hell and experiencing the worst pain I have ever felt in my whole entire life I am know faced with aftermath of emotion, guilt, shame and embarrassment. I was in a relationship for 8 years prior to my current relationship that I am now in. I remember vividly about 5 or 6 years ago discussing herpes with my ex. He has an extreme case of psoriasis and had develop what he thought were psoriatic patches on his penis and went to a physician for testing. When he came back from seeing the doctor he told me that he was told that he has herpes and that it was not in fact psoriasis. In disbelief, I spoke to the physician and he confirmed what my now ex-bf was telling me. We both could not believe his diagnosis and he went to another physician for a second opinion. I was told by my ex- bf that the prior diagnosis was incorrect and that it was not herpes and it was psoriasis. Moving forward, that relationship ended and I am now in a new happy relationship with a man that in my eyes is perfect. We have been together for 2 years now and last week I began to feel itchy in my vaginal region and I just thought it was a yeast infection. I went to my employee clinic and was examined and treated for yeast infection but days later I was getting worse. I was desperate so I went to an urgent care center and was diagnosed with herpes. The next 72 hours were pure hell but I survived. I am now facing major guilt, embarrassment, and I feel as if my sex life will forever change. Not only that, but I also feel as if I am now looked at differently and that I will forever have to walk around with a sign on my head that says “HERPES”. I found this blog by chance and I am hoping that I can find some comfort and find answers to my questions.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and I look forward to hearing from you all.
Hi guys– so I am no expert at writing, but I am going to share my story the best I can because I believe that I could potentially encourage someone to share theirs, or just to inspire. I was getting ready to move to Chicago this summer and I was so happy to be able to move from my hometown and start over. I needed to cover all my bases before I left my medical group by my parents house, so I decided to get a full STI screen– she asked if I wanted the blood test that tests for HIV/HSV/Hep… I said no and just received the standard vaginal swab. I left the exam room, and thought to myself, I should just get the blood test for my own peace of mind. I had never had any symptoms or ANY reason to believe that I could have an STI. I simply was being tested just so that I could continue my behavior and tell future partners I was clean.
I walked back into the office and mentioned that I would like the blood work done. I left the lab that day, even called my mom and LAUGHED about how I got the blood test done but “since I was there, I may as well”.
A week later (July 2016), I received an email through my healthcare portal saying that I had new test results in. I opened those test results that said, “Blood work shows a positive result for herpes 2. All other testing negative”.
I was crying hysterically to my mom. I told her, “Now I really have to become a doctor or there is no point to life”. I was so devastated– I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. I called for my aunt to come over right away, I needed as much support as I could possibly find. Being someone who constantly struggles with depression, it is important to me to ask for help and support when I need it. I needed everything that day.
I woke up the next morning and I felt disgusting. I felt worthless, un-loved, un-deserving of any love. I thought that since I was careless enough to go out and get herpes, I didn’t deserve a good man. I skipped class, I didn’t turn in my final paper the night before, and I could not focus on anything. I ate, slept, and did nothing. I couldn’t talk to any of my friends and I felt so discouraged.
Feeling alone and depressed, I finally opened up to a few friends, since I needed the interaction. It was hard for me to hang out with friends if I couldn’t tell them since the diagnosis was the only thing on my mind, all the time. I ended up opening up to a lot more people than I originally planned. I regretted it, I felt stupid for opening up, I felt like I was exposed and gross to everyone regardless of their reaction to the news. I felt like I was back at square one, making no progress processing this.
I moved to downtown Chicago a few days after the diagnosis, and it was emotionally challenging and stressful. I thought FOR SURE I would have developed a sore through this hard time, but I didn’t. I spent the first few days in my new apartment depressed, crying, and trying to keep it together since it was also my last week of summer semester. It was still too hard to talk to people that didn’t know because I just couldn’t keep it together long enough to enjoy anything. I made it through my classes, but I was not in a good place emotionally, and I desperately needed help. I started taking my anti-depressant again in hopes that it would help me get through the day. I was journaling, sleeping, and doing anything to somewhat make me feel better.
I thought to myself that telling my most recent partner (the one I was the most emotionally invested in, AND the one who has a girlfriend) that I received the diagnosis, but I quickly realized that I wanted to tell him for all the wrong reasons. I wanted him to be miserable like me, I wanted him to be upset like me. I didn’t know how he would react, but I wanted his life to crumble. I wanted him and his girlfriend to break up. Then I realized, that he probably would blame it on me, although there are MANY reasons that I strongly believe he is the one who gave it to me (not that it matters). Then I thought, maybe if we both have it, we can continue to have unprotected sex without an issue. Thats where I drew the line, and postponed telling him until I was in a better mental place.
I slowly started to realize that I needed to take care of myself, and not worry about 1. other people involved, and 2. what others would think about me. I was now in a new city and starting a new semester. I started taking an amino acid called L-lysine, which supposedly helps prevent outbreaks and also helps with symptoms of depression, which helps me a lot.
With the amino acid, my anti-depressant, new school courses, a new apartment, and time to myself, I realized that I was starting to feel better. Nothing about my daily life had changed because of the diagnosis, other than the fact that I was doing things to help myself. I was going to yoga, eating better, and exploring Chicago. I opened up to a few more of my closest friends, and I felt amazing about it. They all knew what I was going through and they were able to be there. They were able to recognize that I was such a strong, beautiful person who was overcoming obstacles that we never imagined I would have to.
Believe it or not, there were days where I honestly forgot I had herpes. I wouldn’t open any books for forums about it for a while, and I would just totally forget. Nothing about my body was different, other than the virus inside my spinal cord. I do think I developed a sore a few weeks after, but it was mild and it wasn’t confirmed. Occasionally I will feel some itching, but nothing terrible. I was able to somewhat keep positive thoughts circulating my mind.
There are many bad days, and some times I need some reassurance. When I start to itch, I sometimes freak out and start to cry. My depression is still an ongoing issue, and of course the thought of me having herpes comes to mind. When people ask if I’m seeing anyone, I automatically want to say, “No, not like I can because I have herpes”. I definitely fear for the future in the sense that I feel like it will be harder to find a partner, but not necessarily. Thinking about it, herpes is literally just a virus that occasionally sparks and is completely manageable. THAT gives me hope.
I also decided to look on the bright side, , and realize that maybe this is the universes way of telling me that I needed to be serious about using condoms, and not sleep with people when I don’t know their sexual history. I had a bad habit of never using condoms, and sleeping with people when I wasn’t in a disclosed relationship. I will from here on out be extremely careful, safe, and open with a sexual partner because of this. And even though it may seem like “too late”, the safety measures that will be carried out from now on will protect me from even worse diseases, that I was fortunate enough not to contract.
About a month after the diagnosis, I went a good week without thinking about the it at all. I threw myself into my studies, received an amazing internship at a major hospital, received a great review at work, and I am all these steps closer to being the doctor I want to be some day. The personal accomplishments and happiness that I can feel from that is so much stronger than the herpes diagnosis. The love from friends and family is so much louder than the negative thoughts in my head about the diagnosis.
When I finally decided to open up to one of my best friends after avoiding her for so long for “personal reasons”, she said, “Oh my god, I thought you were going to say something much worse than that. I’m so happy you’re okay”.
I am not saying I am totally okay. I am hoping to seek help in therapy, continue to practice yoga, and I journal every day. There are days where I break down and none of the good things in life matter one bit. I always remind myself, “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise”.
Now I don’t know 100% exactly who I got it from, and I will never know. According to my index level (level of antibodies), I have probably had it for a year or longer. Which means, that I have potentially given it to two new people, excluding the person I (think) I got it from. For my own mental health and stability, I have decided to keep the news from past sexual partners. I have decided against going back to them and telling them I had a recent diagnosis. I am 99% sure I know who I did get it from, and I am not even mentioning it to him. It makes me feel better, and it helps me cope with the diagnosis. I have decided that I do not owe anyone anything, as no one owes me an explanation or reveal if I were to go back and ask partners. (There is no right or wrong decision when it comes to disclosing health information. People have judgements but ultimately, everyone has to do what is best for them. Everyone owes it to themselves to do what is best for their emotional and physical health).
We will all always have bad days, but having support and keeping yourself motivated is so important. It’s been almost two months since I found out, and I consider myself to be doing well. And EVERYONE can be doing well. I NEVER thought I would consider myself to be “doing well”, after I found out about this. I thought my life was over, but that was so far from the truth. Herpes is not something that should ruin someones life. We can all be happy, even if it takes an insane amount of effort. Having herpes is not the worst thing in the world, and although it may seem like it, the battle with yourself and your feelings will end!
If nothing else, I hope that my story could potentially give someone a little inspiration on a bad day. I know what everyone’s going through, and although I am not perfect, I try my best to shine a light to others that I desperately needed myself.
Topic: New Diagnosis
My situation still has me confused. Last year in July I experienced some pain in my vaginal area whenever I had to wipee after using the restroom. So I decided to go see my gynecologist and she examined me. Before even testing me, she looked at the painful area and told me it was herpes. I broke down and lost it in the examination room. She then sent me to the lab for blood work and immediately put me on antivirals as precaution. A few days later I received a phone call with the test results, the results were all negative! You could not imagine how ecstatic I was at that very moment. Six months go by and we are now in present day, I start experiencing the same pain as before. I went back to the doctor and just as a precaution I asked to be tested again. To my surprise, the test was positive for HSV2. How can this be? I have always been the one to advocate safe sex and my boyfriend at that time was tested twice. Once during my first outbreak and again recently, both times his results were negative. Is there an explanation out there?
Hi ..I have been married to a man for 15 years, he suffers from hsv2,
we have separated and have been apart for approx 18 months.
I went to a doctor 15 years ago when my husband told me about his condition and was told blood tests were useless and you could only be diagnosed if a lesion was present. I have never had a lesion, ever. i assumed i was asymptomatic.
years later, when I got my own computer and started surfing the net for information, I discovered there was a new blood test!! I eventually got up the courage to go to the doctors and tell about my situation. I have been getting blood tests for nearly 2 years and all test have come back negative.7 in total.
i have had mixed opinions from various medical sources, about the validity of the tests.
One nurse told me i was positive, without even examing me or seeing blood test results,She is of the belief that the blood test are unreliable, so told me i was positive!!
I have had one doctor tell me to stop testing that i am negative for hsv2. Another doctor i went to confided in me he suffered from the virus, but also is of the belief that blood test are not reliable, however he did say it was unsual to have so many negative results.
Who do I believe?? the medical proof of negative blood tests. OR that i am positive without any medical proof .
would be grateful for any feedback. I do not want to have the “talk” with everyman i go on a date with..Sex is assumed to commence after dating a guy a few times, ad quite frankly it terrifies me.
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