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    I wanted to share that there are people in this world who can look beyond this diagnosis. Don’t lose hope in people. I say this as someone who chose to be with a man who had hsv2. I met him online and because I am careful and cautious I made him get sti testing. When he came back positive for the blood test for hsv2 I had a choice. Stay with him or leave. I chose to stay with him and eventually I chose to stop using condoms and got it. I dont regret meeting him or the life we have because it is so much more than just 2 people that have herpes. We got married, had a baby and now are on baby #2. We are taking all the precautions to not pass them onto our children and there is no reason to believe we ever would since we both have hsv2. We use proper hygeine and have normal boundries with baby (no bathing together). I had to have a c section because after 30 hrs of labor I failed to progress so this next baby will also be via c section. I took the antivirals during the end of my pregnancy just in vale I go into natural labor I want to minimize the risk of transmission as much as possible. Anyways I just wanted to share my story because I see so many people terrified of never finding love again. I found love with someone with hsv2 so I encourage yall to keep an open mind and an open heart. The main deciding factor for me being ok with it is that this diagnosis does not reduce your life expectancy and is not contagious unless you are having sex/touching privates. So it’s manageable so long as you take standard precautions.i hope this helps! You can have herpes and live a beautiful normal life. Ill add that only my husband and I know about our diagnosis. I have told my doctors, my sister and my best friend. No one else needs to know unless you want them to. Disclosure is only for people who need to know. And if they aren’t touching your genitals then they don’t need to know is how I view it.


    I’ve always been careful with my sexual partners. I also haven’t had many. I started seeing someone and it got serious, quick. We had sex with condoms and eventually stopped using them. I had asked him about testing and he said he was in the clear. I also hadn’t known how many partners and how recently he had had sex. I trusted him. Three months in the relationship I was diagnosed. I was in shock and shut down. He said he didn’t know. I felt beyond betrayed. Eventually I said, “we need to learn how to tell people if we ever break up”. He said, we’re never breaking up. The stress of herpes went away when I realized he was the one. 3 years later we broke up. So hear I am feeling the stress and depression of a breakup with someone I thought I’d marry, along with having a new world of realizing I’m going to have to date with herpes for the first time ever.


    In reply to: Help please


    The best way to know is to get tested specifically for HSV. I had the same thing a year sgo, just one sore. Looked like a pimple really. But went to my physician to get her opinion. She said it ‘didn’t look like herpes’ and ‘not to worry about it, it was very common’.

    I said, ‘I’d still like to be tested.’

    I was surprised because just two months earlier during my annual physical I had been tested for STD’s as part of the health screening. Lo & behold, as it turns out, their STD screening (which came back negative) doesn’t include testing for herpes. Isn’t that crazy?

    Anyhow, I would suggest getting tested for your own piece of mind and your own knowledge!


    I recently got a std panel which included hsv 1 & 2. I am positive for hsv1 and relatively can come to terms with this, as it’s super common. My results for hsv2 are what confuse me. My result being 2.6 – sometimes considered a “low positive”. Any literature or article I’ve read about low positives (below 3.5) claims that there is a possibility (or even 1/2 chance) that it is a false positive. The professional that called me insists that anything about a 1 is a true positive. Should I be concerned? I’m thinking of possibly requesting a retesting. Also I’d like to say that I would hate to come off as insensitive to anyone who may have hsv2 – there is no shame in having any type of STI. I’m just still young and don’t want to put myself through any medications if unnecessary. I would also like to note that I’ve never had an outbreak. Any advice is very appreciated!


    In reply to: Newly Diagnosed


    I was considered newly diagnosed in 2020 during pandemic and I was in a very new and serious relationship at the time. The only upside was that my partner was super supportive during my testing and results and didnt break up with me afterwards. We arent together now, and I did transfer the disease to him. I felt nothing but negativity during the time and still do. I still feel i have been robbed of my old freedoms while trying to date and meet new people but two years later I feel everything has happened for a reason and although coping with this is still hard, I’m glad to say it has gotten easier. Somehow….



    I’m a 33 year old, I was diagnosed 18-20 years ago with genital herpes. It was so long ago that I don’t remember if I got a treatment for it.
    When I was 21 I had a D&C abortion, please no judgment or rude remarks. Sometime after that between 21 and 23 I started getting chronic pelvic ppain. I have had numerous testing done in the past 10 years. Ultrasounds, mris, laproscopy to try and find out what’s been causing the pelvic pain. In 2016 I think I also started experiencing urinary problems, retention and frequency. I’ve never gotten a diagnosis for my pelvic pain and I still have it almost daily. It an feel deep and go down into my leg.
    Does anyone know if herpes has cause long term pelvic pain, has anyone had similar experiences?


    Hi everyone I just need some guidance and help. I recently went for a general check up to the doctor, I asked for my annual STD testing and I asked for a herpes test as well since they don’t normally check for it. I was fine until this morning my IgG for HSV2 was a 3 and I was blown away by that, I have no symptoms never had any break outs, I have no idea where it came from I have gotten tested before and it was negative about 6 months ago. I have a bf right now and I don’t know when to say something. I’m going to a check up soon but I just don’t know what to think. I read about “low positives” “false negatives” Im in shock right now.


    I am a 61 year old woman who had her first outbreak of genital herpes ever; after testing negative for STDS 30 days ago. The outbreak occurred 4 days after having sex with a man I have been seeing for 16 years. Is it mostly like I got the virus from him.

    I am confused, struggling, embarrassed and ashamed. He didn’t seem angry or surprised when I told him what was going on.



    I was told it’s hard to get results without an outbreak. So many don’t even put it on the sti screening. He may have it and the antibody needed for a positive might not be there if he’s never had to fight off an outbreak. But as far as Terri g goes you should know what’s hes bringing to the bed too. Theres many sti where men are only carriers of stuff and never sick from it.

    Testing is always a great idea


    This is a tough issue for me, not sure how i feel about it yet. My personal experience after my diagnosis (on an STI screening, I’m asymptomatic so far) was to tell my partner & NOT recommend that he get tested b/c of unreliability in testing (false negatives & positives, plus I agree with the CDC recommendation of not getting tested unless you have symptoms). However. On a recent STI test as part of general health care screening, his Dr. tested him for herpes & he came back negative…which is great. But we are now taking a break due to his not being sure he wants to continue the relationship since he’s negative & I’m positive. I don’t blame him for this, we are friends & lovers & not in love…honestly in his place I might run too. But it does bring this question up for me in the future. I don’t think I’ll get into a sexual relationship with anyone again without being sure they give fully informed & processed consent (a counseling session with a Dr. or STD counselor, Google does not count). & maybe I’ll require a test too. Still pondering, seems like it could be helpful to me moving forward.


    I came to this community seeking help and wisdom with my current situation. I already feel horrible and ashamed because of the stigma that comes with mentioning Genital Herpes. I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for four months, and I haven’t told him about my condition. Before we starting having sex we told each other our tests results which were both good. My anxiety is through the roof, and I’m not sure what else to do or how to explain. He has gone to his doctor for his routine blood work for blood pressure and also asked for full std testing. I’m waiting to see what his results are. I did go to a lab a few days ago to confirm, and all came back clear except positive for HSV-2.

    Im seeking prayers, help and advice. I know that I may get some backlash or harsh responses.


    I’ve been on a rollercoaster the last week.

    Background – I had sex for the first time in years a couple weeks ago. This was the day after I went on a long, strenuous hike in hot, humid weather and was wearing tight yoga pants the whole time. Within a few days, I felt yeast-infection type symptoms (itchy all over, which progressed over a few days and then I felt raw and itchy). I self-treated with MONISTAT 1, then got in touch with a provider who prescribed fluconazole. Swabs came back negative for chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, BV, and yeast.

    A couple days later I went in for a physical exam and was told it was definitely a yeast infection – not in the canal, but on the exterior instead. It was the result of being sweaty and wearing tight yoga pants for 12 hours. I was given anti-fungal cream. The next day I went to the bathroom and as I pat myself dry (carefully, because it was tender) I feel a very painful spot. I look in the mirror and have a single lesion, it looked almost like a cyst, and was firm and tender to the touch. I kept using the anti-fungal cream and took my second fluconazole pill. Second swab came back negative, I’m told it’s because I’d already used two anti-fungals.

    The next day, the pain was much worse in that location so I went to urgent care. I’m told it looks like herpes. They do a PCR swab on the lesion. She uses a decent amount of force and was thorough to make sure she got a good sample. I’m given Valtrex.

    Next day – I get a call from the nurse, the PCR swab was negative. I’m told it was highly unlikely that it was a false negative because it was taken from the lesion, but PCP wants me to come in for another evaluation. I’m told to stop Valtrex.

    I go into PCP today. I ask him to test me for a plethora of things (infected cyst, strep b, mycoplasma, urealplasma, etc), including more resistant yeast infections (I ask for a culture instead) he says no. He does a bacterial swab (pending) and syphilis test (negative). He does the exam and is convinced that my single lesion must be HSV because it is tender. He said he didn’t know why my PCR swab came back negative. I explain that everything I’ve read says that PCR is highly sensitive, highly accurate, the nurse was thorough with the swab, and that I had it done within the “right” timeframe for accurate results. I read it was over 90% accurate and another doctor said it was 95% accurate. He said well that still leaves room for error. I ask him to repeat the test, he says no. He tells me to take valtrex and start doxycycline (which I was due to start for a facial rash I’ve had since long before this all started).

    Now I’m confused – different practitioners are telling me different things. As I said, everything I’ve read says PCR swab is the gold standard for testing and it’s highly sensitive, highly accurate, highly reliable. My PCP says it isn’t sensitive and that it was not reliable. But he wouldn’t repeat it even though I still have the lesion (which looks worse). He wants me to do antibody testing in 4 weeks (which is a LONG time to wait for results?). When I got my syphilis blood draw, my neurologist had randomly already ordered HSV 1 & 2 tests so I got those done as well (and another set in 4 weeks from PCP).

    Does anyone have insight into this? How likely is it that a thorough PCR swab is a false negative, especially when I had it done within the “right” timeframe? I’m lost and having a hard time navigating this on my own. It’s been a rollercoaster and causing a lot of anxiety. I asked the nurse if I could see an OBGYN and she said “what for” and wouldn’t refer me. Thanks.


    I’ll start with my questions.
    1. Does anyone else get hemorrhoids in correlation to HSV-2? I believe I may have anal herpes as well as genital due to a prolonged period of non diagnosis. I’m still sorting out what is and isn’t a symptom for me, but seem to be getting hemorrhoids or something very similar now after my ‘first outbreak’ and was wondering if other people experience this too as there isn’t much I can find on the subject.
    2. Has anyone tried Gene-Eden-VIR or Novirin?

    Here’s my story:
    I’ve known for years that something was wrong, I just didn’t know what until a few months ago. I thought I most likely had interstitial cystitis or painful bladder syndrome due to recurring UTI type symptoms that never tested positive for bacteria in a urinalysis. I think it started with a trip to the ER 3 years ago due to intense lower abdominal inflammation and an acute pain in my right lower abdomen. I thought it was appendicitis but the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with me. Over the next 3 years I saw 12 different doctors, had a CT scan, bloodwork, countless rounds of antibiotics, changed my diet, went to acupuncture, magnesium salt baths, probiotics, oil of oregano etc. (it’s too long to list everything I tried).
    A few months ago as I was taking one of these baths I discovered tiny water blister looking sores on my inner labia. When I showed my husband, he confessed to having been diagnosed with herpes-2 30 years prior.
    I believe I went undiagnosed for years because I never found any external symptoms, but I talked about my ‘mystery illness’ almost daily with my husband who claims that he never connected the dots. Along with this most intimate betrayal, I feel let down by the medical industry, who told me during that first ER visit that I was tested for STDs and they were all negative. Not one of the 12 doctors I saw suggested a herpes test. Many people on this forum have experienced similar resistance, or neglect in terms of testing for HSV.
    My first outbreak was horrific, sores all over the left side of my vagina and butt, my left labia had so many that it swelled to 3 times its normal size and felt hard like old leather. I had a herpetic rash that went between my butt cheeks to just above my pelvic bone. I also had striation-like ‘bruising’ that ran along my veins on the back side of my left thigh. I’m still not really sure what this is called, I sent a photo to my doctor who just prescribed a topical cream but this was more internal/nerve oriented than surface bruising. I peed in the tub for a week to alleviate the sting and as I’ve mentioned earlier, I believe I have the virus anally, so my bowel movements were stressful as well.
    The worst part of this whole experience is how avoidable it all was. This was not an accident. My husband knew he had it and did nothing to protect me from getting it. What’s worse, he then allowed me to suffer for years claiming that he didn’t think that I could get it from him since he hadn’t had an outbreak in over 10 years. It is basic human morality to inform a partner about a communicable disease you know you have. It’s hard to believe that there are people out there that don’t know this. Please tell your partners, not everyone has symptoms but a percentage of people do and it is not something I would wish on anyone. Allowing people to make informed decisions about their own health makes all the difference.
    Thanks in advance for any responses. I’m hoping this post will help me in my recovery.


    In reply to: Seeking friends


    Hello. 24 female. Just diagnosed a few days ago by symptoms of herpes. No testing. I’m honestly a bit scared and would love to maybe have a support system of women that have this condition as well. My email is


    Hi everyone,

    Im new here, my bf recently got tested and he said he got a mouth saliva swab. He has no sores and got a positive diagnosis for hsv1. I didn’t go with him so I didnt see the process. But is this a thing? I didnt know they can detect the virus in saliva.

Viewing 15 results - 1 through 15 (of 130 total)