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    Here are some facts you need to know:
    – HSV-1 –> 50%-80% of people have it.
    – Normally, you catch the virus during childhood with the kiss of a relative.
    – When you catch as a kid, you build immunity and won’t get it genitally.
    – What happened to you is that you didn’t get herpes type 1 in your childhood and initiated your sexual life without antibodies. You got it from oral sex. That was your first exposure to the virus.
    – Genital HSV-1 viral shedding (when you shed the virus without symptoms) is 2-5%.
    – It’s super rare to transmit HSV-1 through genital to genital contact, you get it from oral sex.
    – So, if you are not having an outbreak with genital HSV-1, you don’t need to disclose it (scientifically, not morally). Just give your body a year to build antibodies.
    – Since the sacral ganglion is not its’ favourite place, people with HSV-1 have fewer recurrences. The average is 0,7 per year (3-8 when people has HSV-2). Most people with HSV-1 have 1-3 outbreaks in the first 2-3 years, and then no more. (There are people with G-HSV1 that would say that they have more recurrences, but still, it’s rare). I have only had 2 in seven years. The first one was pretty bad, the second one was a rash and a cut 7 months after. After that, not at all. Nothing.
    – Scientifically, disclosure of genital HSV_1 shouldn’t exist since the transmission from genital to genital is extremely low.
    – Since almost everybody has it, you can just tell your new partner to get tested, chances he already has it are high. Since my diagnosis, I always asked my partners to get tested (I wouldn’t like to get HSV-2), from 10 guys I dated, just one didn’t have HSV-1. Three knew they had it because they remember having cold sores when they were kids (confirmed with the test), and 6 had it and didn’t even know it. They just knew it with the test. Fact: I’m in my 30s. So at 30, the stats of HSV-1 are 70% at least.
    – I disclose this by saying, I have the virus that causes cold sores, and it is herpes type 1. And then I explain the differences between type one and two. I say that I was unlucky to get the virus during childhood, and that was unlucky but lucky enough to catch Herpes type one, the nicer one, and that disclosure of genital HSV-1 is more trust than transmission.
    So, if your new partner has it, it’s okay, you don’t ping-pong the virus.
    I have never been rejected (and no, I’m not a hot girl. I consider myself average). I explain all this by looking at their faces, being calm, and I make sure to explain the differences, I also give them the fact sheet from, and I normally ask them to listen to a podcast called “The Big herpes episode with Terri Warren” on youtube. In my experience, it’s really refreshing when my partners listen to this podcast. It answers all their questions.
    – Last thing. Don’t read or try to watch videos about herpes. A lot of people and even doctors don’t know this information and say “herpes is herpes”. I would suggest reading about it with Peter Leone, Terri Warren and Hofdsman. They are researchers dedicated to this virus.


    In reply to: It’s been a month


    Hi Rae, I am so sorry you are dealing with so much right now. I can relate! I was just diagnosed last Sunday and am dealing with the physical and mental symptoms. I have no idea where I got this virus either. Have been in a monogamous relationship since last January. Stay strong and hang in there. Glad we have this forum in which to share our experiences and feelings.


    Hi all. So….I really like to give oral sex. More so than getting it. I am all sorts of confused about what I can and can’t do. I don’t have any symptoms at all but I was told I had both HSV1&2. I have no symptoms anywhere on my body. I am taking the supplements Dr. Kelly suggested and also am on valtrex. Do I really have to have “the talk” with every person I want to kiss? I am a make-out whore. I love love love to kiss. Do I really have to tell someone about the H before I kiss them? Idk. Am I ever allowed to receive oral sex again?? If I don’t have any symptoms at all, should I let someone down there? I feel like I can never do it / get it again and it’s frustrating.


    I am still in shock after my diagnosis 2 days ago. Can the virus really be dormant for over 22 years? Or is it most likely I’ve got it from my husband -who’s the only man I’ve been with in the last 22 years? He does not know if he has it and has never had any symptoms in his life. Now I am devastated to face the truth if he has been disloyal to me. I really thought we had a great relationship. What to do? I can’t stop crying.


    I just officially found out that I am HSV1 positive (genital.) I have done research so know that it is common but my mood seems to be in and out. I’m looking ahead and wondering how I can do this. I started seeing someone and we fooled around. A few days later I started showing symptoms. I went to the clinic which they swabbed. I did share with my person what was happening and he said he gets cold sores. I know I could have gotten it awhile ago as it is hard to trace. My person is supportive and nothing has changed. But I keep thinking about the future just in case and telling people. I’m meeting with a good clinic doctor (he did the swab) on Sunday. The doctor who phoned me with results was not helpful nor kind. How did everyone get through the initial shock? I’m a hot mess!!! Thank you!


    This is a tough issue for me, not sure how i feel about it yet. My personal experience after my diagnosis (on an STI screening, I’m asymptomatic so far) was to tell my partner & NOT recommend that he get tested b/c of unreliability in testing (false negatives & positives, plus I agree with the CDC recommendation of not getting tested unless you have symptoms). However. On a recent STI test as part of general health care screening, his Dr. tested him for herpes & he came back negative…which is great. But we are now taking a break due to his not being sure he wants to continue the relationship since he’s negative & I’m positive. I don’t blame him for this, we are friends & lovers & not in love…honestly in his place I might run too. But it does bring this question up for me in the future. I don’t think I’ll get into a sexual relationship with anyone again without being sure they give fully informed & processed consent (a counseling session with a Dr. or STD counselor, Google does not count). & maybe I’ll require a test too. Still pondering, seems like it could be helpful to me moving forward.


    In reply to: Support Help needed


    Hello and welcome, no judgement here at all. You had tests done before intimacy and they were clear? Or did you test again, I am unclear. But either way it is best to be honest with him as difficult as that conversation will be. I wish you well, my dear and try to have a positive mindset and keep your anxiety and stress levels low as that can exacerbate symptoms. Did they put you on meds?

    We have discussed other helpful tips here as well. Taking lysine and CoQ10 among them. Wishing you peace!


    Hi all, I am 25 years old and was just diagnosed with HSV-1. I never thought this situation would happen and I am extremely scared, uncomfortable, and ashamed of what has happened to me. Still trying to figure out how I contracted it. This is my story. I am currently kind of seeing some guy who lives in a different state. We have been seeing each other for a few months now- he visits me once a month. We are not exclusive and have never had that conversation. I went out one night and went to my friends house and we started hooking up. He performed oral sex on me and that’s all that happened. Fast forward a week and my guy came to visit me. I was starting to feel severely fatigued and sick. He and I had unprotected sex all week and I noticed I was getting sore down there- I figured it was from having sex a lot. But my gums and my mouth hurt so so much, like more than ever before.
    He left and I went to urgent care. They diagnosed me with strep throat. The following day I still didn’t feel right. I felt a bump down there and I decided to go back. I had a doctor look at me and she said it might be herpes. I was crushed. Very emotional but I still had a few days until my test results came back. I drove myself to my parents house and told my mom. I was bedridden and she took me to the ER and the doctors couldn’t pin point what was causing my severe drowsiness and flu like symptoms.
    Yesterday I called the man I think I contracted it from and he apologized and said he would get tested. I asked him if he gets cold sores and he said yes so I think that is where I got it from. But honestly i feel like it could have been from either man. I’m scared to tell this guy I actually have feelings for about this. He’s planning to fly to see me again and meet my family at a wedding next week. He is starting to show flu like symptoms… but is negative for strep.
    I just need advice in what to say to him and I really want a friend while I go through this. I feel awful that I may have passed it on unknowingly. Like who uses dental dams?!?! I didn’t even sleep with this other guy and now I’m paying the price… ): I don’t know of anyone that I can relate to and ask questions to.


    It’s almost been a full year since my initial break out which was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever endured. I haven’t experienced a full blown breakout since but recently I’ve been having small flare ups that last for 2 days. I finally made the connection that every time I take my weekly probiotic drink shot my body is triggered and will start getting prodrome symptoms. I’m 100% positive the probiotic drink is the cause of my flare up but its suppose to have the opposite effect, right?!? Has anyone else experienced something similar or understand the connection? Any suggestions are welcome, it’s been emotionally hard dealing with the recent flare ups so I appreciate any insight / support on this topic.

    These are the drink’s ingredients:

    Apple Juice*, Aloe Vera Juice*, Apple Cider Vinegar*, Coconut Water*, Lemon Juice*, Ginger Juice*, Bacillus Coagulans Gbi-30 6086 *Organic Ingredients

    • This topic was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by ilmmpw.

    In reply to: New here!


    Hi Rae! Thanks for replying:). I’m sorry to hear about that mean outbreak. I haven’t had any symptoms at all, I guess I’m lucky..for now. Did you go on any meds or start this course/program yet?


    Hi everybody!
    First of all, thank you for sharing your experience, it’s been helpful. Sending love to you all, we’re in this together!
    Now, it has been a year since the initial episode and I have outbreaks twice, three times a month. The strange thing is that I usually have two, red, small bumps and they heal within two days. At this point, my doctor started doubting that I have herpes because of mild symptoms. On top of that all, swab and blood tests were negative every time. But when I do have a problem, the bumps are always on the same place and acyclovir helps.
    I’m reaaaally confused and irritated. Has anyone had similar experience?


    I’ve been on a rollercoaster the last week.

    Background – I had sex for the first time in years a couple weeks ago. This was the day after I went on a long, strenuous hike in hot, humid weather and was wearing tight yoga pants the whole time. Within a few days, I felt yeast-infection type symptoms (itchy all over, which progressed over a few days and then I felt raw and itchy). I self-treated with MONISTAT 1, then got in touch with a provider who prescribed fluconazole. Swabs came back negative for chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, BV, and yeast.

    A couple days later I went in for a physical exam and was told it was definitely a yeast infection – not in the canal, but on the exterior instead. It was the result of being sweaty and wearing tight yoga pants for 12 hours. I was given anti-fungal cream. The next day I went to the bathroom and as I pat myself dry (carefully, because it was tender) I feel a very painful spot. I look in the mirror and have a single lesion, it looked almost like a cyst, and was firm and tender to the touch. I kept using the anti-fungal cream and took my second fluconazole pill. Second swab came back negative, I’m told it’s because I’d already used two anti-fungals.

    The next day, the pain was much worse in that location so I went to urgent care. I’m told it looks like herpes. They do a PCR swab on the lesion. She uses a decent amount of force and was thorough to make sure she got a good sample. I’m given Valtrex.

    Next day – I get a call from the nurse, the PCR swab was negative. I’m told it was highly unlikely that it was a false negative because it was taken from the lesion, but PCP wants me to come in for another evaluation. I’m told to stop Valtrex.

    I go into PCP today. I ask him to test me for a plethora of things (infected cyst, strep b, mycoplasma, urealplasma, etc), including more resistant yeast infections (I ask for a culture instead) he says no. He does a bacterial swab (pending) and syphilis test (negative). He does the exam and is convinced that my single lesion must be HSV because it is tender. He said he didn’t know why my PCR swab came back negative. I explain that everything I’ve read says that PCR is highly sensitive, highly accurate, the nurse was thorough with the swab, and that I had it done within the “right” timeframe for accurate results. I read it was over 90% accurate and another doctor said it was 95% accurate. He said well that still leaves room for error. I ask him to repeat the test, he says no. He tells me to take valtrex and start doxycycline (which I was due to start for a facial rash I’ve had since long before this all started).

    Now I’m confused – different practitioners are telling me different things. As I said, everything I’ve read says PCR swab is the gold standard for testing and it’s highly sensitive, highly accurate, highly reliable. My PCP says it isn’t sensitive and that it was not reliable. But he wouldn’t repeat it even though I still have the lesion (which looks worse). He wants me to do antibody testing in 4 weeks (which is a LONG time to wait for results?). When I got my syphilis blood draw, my neurologist had randomly already ordered HSV 1 & 2 tests so I got those done as well (and another set in 4 weeks from PCP).

    Does anyone have insight into this? How likely is it that a thorough PCR swab is a false negative, especially when I had it done within the “right” timeframe? I’m lost and having a hard time navigating this on my own. It’s been a rollercoaster and causing a lot of anxiety. I asked the nurse if I could see an OBGYN and she said “what for” and wouldn’t refer me. Thanks.


    Well you have us now! Ask any question you want.

    I wouldn’t stress so much any more. It sounds like it’s not pleasant to look at or makes you not feel as sexy. But try change your mindset to you are very blessed to have such mild symptoms. I officially took that step into a major outbreak. Im nearly done my 10day meds for a nasty outbreak. I have fissures (cuts), bumps/welts, ulcers,and they are every where and sooo painful.

    They are around my pee hole area, to my vag opening, in between those two areas. Up inside my vag. The worst ones were around my anus. Pooping was a nightmare i wouldn’t wish on anyone. Also between my vag and my anus has stuff going on. Im talking itchy, burning, pain shooting in all directions from every where.

    Stress and many other things are known triggers. So if your stressing try to relax about it. Try find some hobbies to get your mind off of it. But deff try get the next one tested as untreated herpes is not a good idea either.

    I do hope you don’t have this but if you do your not alone and have a community here ready to support you.


    Hello. My outbreaks never had bumps or pimple like things but would be more red angry irritated areas that would swell and itch. It is really strange but it seems there are different symptoms for different people. Common though is the extreme itch, burning and swelling. Mine would actually look like split skin when it gets bad. I wish you well!


    In reply to: Any Positive Stories?


    Lovely to hear these positive stories x ive been with my partner 18 months and we don’t know how this came to rear its head now. He was very supportive when I told him my diagnosis, he has had symptoms himself, although I get the feeling he is slightly in denial and that uts something I have.. . Time will tell x

Viewing 15 results - 46 through 60 (of 860 total)