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    I do not yet have a positive HSV diagnosis, but I had protected sex with someone who is HSV positive 5 days ago and have experienced a sudden onset of symptoms consistent with herpes infections. Very early so no blisters yet, which means I can’t get tested yet, and so I’m just left to stew in my own feelings of intense anxiety, sadness, fear, and regret. After 5+ years of being celibate, I’m so upset that this has happened right away – wish I had stayed celibate now 🙁 if it’s as I fear, it will complicate relationships for me, which I am already very unskilled and shy at navigating….

    I feel so isolated and lonely with no one to discuss my fears with – I don’t dare bring it up to friends or family. I don’t even know for sure if I have HSV but I know when something in my body is off, and the timing makes my heart sink…it seems almost certain. Is there anyone who had a scare like this and it was fine? Perhaps that’s just wishful thinking……… I can think of nothing else right now. Anyone in the same boat? 🙁

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by Page.

    So, I got herpes about 8 years ago in my early 50’s after dating someone after my divorce. I’m now 59. It was devastating and I’m still struggling with the physical symptoms as well as the shame and disappointment of knowing I’ll never be free to really enjoy sex again. It’s just not fun for me, and I’ve resigned myself to celibacy. I have a partner of 5 years, but we don’t have sex and neither of us cares. To be honest, sex is just too much trouble (the condoms, the lube, no oral sex, the breakouts from friction! Ugh) and the spontaneity is gone, not to mention the worry of me passing this virus on to him. The whole thing is stressful so I avoid sex completely. It is an option, and one that I’m ok with (for now).
    I know this isn’t what most people want to hear, but this is the conclusion that I have come to, and it’s alright to NOT have sex. I’ve had great sex in my life, so I’m grateful for that but it’s not the end of the world if I never have it again. There are many other things in
    life, and it can be freeing when sex isn’t central to the relationship. Just another perspective! Hope it’s helpful to someone.


    Hi. I was diagnosed with herpes two months ago. My boyfriend gets cold sores (HSV1) but did not have any noticeable symptoms at the time. He performed oral sex and I was diagnosed a few days later, around the same time the tell tale blisters appeared on his lip. Thankfully I’ve only had one recurrence since then and was extremely mild. Ever since my diagnosis I’ve felt dirty and unlovable. I’m worried that even though he says I’m not dirty; he believes it and he won’t want to be with me anymore. I can’t help but feel like my diagnosis was my fault and that if I had just remained celibate nothing would have happened to me. I feel like I have all these negative thoughts surrounding sex all of a sudden and I’m afraid to do it. I want to be with him like we were but I’m so afraid and I don’t know what to do. I keep thinking that maybe I should leave him and be on my own so I don’t have to deal with it but I don’t want that at all. I love him I’m just worried he won’t love me anymore. What can I do to help get rid of these feelings and be ready to have sex again?


    I am so sorry to hear this Jade. He acted out of anger and said things that were not true. Sometimes it easier to blame others because it’s easier than turning the blame inward. At the end of the day, people are not screened for HSV, they are only tested when there are symptoms. There is no way of knowing who gave it to who or how long either of you have had it. Like you said, if he didn’t get tested after cheating, he has no idea when he got it. Regardless, that sounds like a painful conversation and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.


    I recently got tested a couple days ago after my boyfriend suggested. I had no symptoms whatsoever and had previously been treated for chlamydia. I find out that I tested positive not only for chlamydia but also HSV1. I’m not so sure he got it from me since he never went to get tested and cheated on me. My whole life shattered when 15 years of my life went up in flames in an instant. The worst part is that he accused me of knowing all along when I was just as shocked and confused as he was. I was angry and blamed myself for our relationship being over. I felt disgusting and thought the life we planned together could never happen for me. Who will want me now ?


    I am waiting on my diagnosis (both oral and down there)

    My symptoms are mostly all oral (I had some discharge and very mild itching burning down there but nothing else) orally however I have sores coming through, red/bruised lips, burning and a white/yellow tongue.

    Anyway. Time for my “worst luck” story.

    About 6 months ago I came out of a very unhappy 8 year relationship. I didn’t think I’d find anyone who ticked all the boxes, treated me like a princess, made me believe in that “once in a lifetime” love but I did. We are very new but we’ve known each other for quite some time. Anyway. I had a one night stand in between breaking up with my ex and meeting my person🥺 I’m pretty sure that’s where if I have it, I got it from. He denies any symptoms or knowing.

    Me and my new man have kissed lots (before my mouth symptoms) and I have given him oral. I did not have any sores or anything at the time. I have since refrained from sex because I’ve been worrying I have it so I’m thankful I’ve done that. But I am worried I may have passed it to him before the signs showed up? Is that likely?


    I mean prodome symptoms not profile


    Hi guys, I was recently diagnosed with HSV-1 in November 2021. I had a pretty bad first outbreak but got it sorted with meds. However, since then I have had the typical profile sypmtoms a lot and no sign of any blisters/sores. Basically, I get the shooting nerve pain down my legs, tingling down my legs and butt, a lot of vaginal itchiness and lower back pain. A strange thing that happens when I get these symptoms is I get one small red spot that forms on my butt cheek. It’s only one and they look like pimples and don’t blister or itch or hurt. I’m just concerned because why do they appear every time I get these prodome symptoms? Does anyone else get this? Is this a mini-outbreak? Does this mean I’m shedding/contagious all the time? Also, I feel like my nerve pain gets triggered by alcohol, is this common? I’m really nervous because I’m constantly worried if I’m contagious when the nerve pain hits. Or is this all just post-herpatic nerve pain? Will it go away?


    I’m in my 50s , we’re not married but been togeher over 10 years! And the same story.. he had/has no symptoms.. and neither of us have been with anyone else! I know exactly how you both are feeling!!! Never saw this coming!!

    Jess Jess

    Hi KD,

    I’m in the same boat as you now. I just turned 30 over the weekend and noticed some sharp pain down there but figured it was period related because I had just started. Then the Monday after the weekend, the pain got much worse and I noticed bumps on me and immediately called my DR to make an appointment. She told me she thinks it’s definitely one of the HSV’s and took a swab to test. I’m still waiting on my results but I know how you feel. I cried in the patient room and when I got into my car. I’ve been with my partner for over 5.5 years and never had any signs or symptoms until this past weekend. My whole world has turned upside down at this point. Just know you aren’t alone!


    In reply to: Confused on results


    I have no advice , but I’ve ask some questions and no one has answered so I at least wanted to reply..
    My gf and I been together 10+ years, we are in our 50s and monogamous
    I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago and test reveal that this is a new infection for me, meaning I’m newly infected.. no antibodies
    My bf had cold sores as a child but hasn’t had any other symptoms all these years..
    But here we are 😩. I’m type 1, but genitally… I don’t get it, and I’m gonna have to have an appointment I guess with my dr just to understand this whole mess… idk if I can pass in genitally, as it’s oral, but down there.. very frustrated and not how I expected to spend my golden years for sure😔


    Hi, I’ve had genital herpes for 20+ years, I’ve had varying degrees of symptoms during that time. OBs had slowed in recent years until I was only having 1-2 per year until last June when everything changed. Since then I’ve had OBs approximately every 6 weeks, again with varying degrees of symptoms, currently feels as bad as my first OB. The only thing I can put it down to is having had the covid vaccine 2 weeks before the OB in June. This is starting to rule my life again and it’s really getting me down. I really need some help/advice/support.


    In reply to: Newly Diagnosed


    I completely understand this, I have had constant genital herpes symptoms for 6 months. I’ve tried medication, diet change, natural remedies I’ve tried everything in the book and my symptoms are so severe nothing seems to work! I haven’t even had a day of relief for 6 months which I am aware is not normal so hopefully you get some relief soon. I unfortunately don’t think I can help much on the mental strain, I think I’ve mentally got worse because my symptoms just are not clearing! All I can hope is one day we get some relief and we don’t have this mental struggle forever


    Hi everyone, I am 21 y.o., diagnosed with genital herpes 3 weeks ago. Initially, I thought it was a UTI because of the burning sensation and constantly needing to pee with little output, as did the NP I had seen. A few days later, I developed red patches that were very itchy. The next day, I had gone to urgent care, but I did not have any sores at the moment, so they wouldn’t test me for HSV. The following day, sores had appeared and I immediately went to a different urgent care. I then found out I have genital herpes after a swab test. Along with this diagnosis, I had also been told by the original NP who thought it was a UTI, that I actually had a yeast infection and BV, all at the same time. With the sores, I had flu-like symptoms (fever, chills), excruciating itchiness and pain. I couldn’t even sit or lay down comfortably, let alone walk. I also had to pee in a bathtub full of water (read about it online) to help the burning sensation and bowel movements were very painful and honestly, I think I had gotten constipated. I was given Valtrex for 10 days for the herpes, as well as medication for the yeast infection and BV. My initial outbreak was extremely painful and honestly traumatizing, I was bawling my eyes out everyday.

    Fast forward 3 weeks, here I am. I currently am not partaking in suppressive therapy, but I am thinking about it because the slightest itch makes me paranoid, thinking I’m going to have another outbreak. Just a few days ago, I saw another NP and turns out I have a yeast infection and BV again. As stated above, I’m only 3 weeks into my diagnosis, but it has taken a toll on my mental and emotional health. Not that I worry I won’t be in a relationship again, but more of I stress over another outbreak. I’ve been incredibly stressed and have also gotten my period since, and luckily, no new outbreaks. I started taking vitamin C everyday and recently purchased Lysine.

    I know that herpes is more common than people think and just that the stigma surrounding it is so awful, but I have had a lot of times where I feel as if I don’t want to be alive anymore because of this diagnosis and my worry of future outbreaks. I’ve read other forums and I know that symptoms and experiences vary from person to person, but a lot of women had said they would have an outbreak even from masturbating, whether with a toy, water, etc. I am a person who has a high sex drive, so you could imagine the stress I have knowing it’s possible to have another outbreak from that.

    Since the ending of my initial outbreak, I took precautions and bought several new feminine products. Cotton underwear for when I have outbreaks or even just an itch, medicated anti-itch wipes (OTC), fragrant-free soap that has colloidal oatmeal (for down south), switched to sensitive skin body wash, and also have unscented wipes specifically for my genital area.

    I know that was a lot of information, but I wanted to share my experience, as well as sharing the products that have helped. If anyone has any advice/tips regarding preventing outbreaks, products/supplements to invest in, their opinion on suppressive therapy, how to deal with mental/emotional toll, or really anything, please share! Like I said, I am extremely new and I have lots to figure out. Oddly enough, deep down I keep thinking maybe my herpes results were a false positive, considering the yeast infection and BV, is it possible? Or am I just in denial?

    Side note: I have a great support system, being one of my best friends and my parents. I also struggle with mental illnesses and am soon to be back on those medications, hopefully that will help with my anxiety over future outbreaks and the increased depression since my diagnosis. I have yet to get bloodwork done, so I am unsure if it’s HSV1 or HSV2, the person I had got it from has HSV1 (it was a fling, I was unaware, and he claimed to be unaware of being positive)

    Thank you all in advance, I really appreciate it and am so happy I found a forum where I do not feel alone. Wishing you all the best!


    I’ve had HSV2 for 16 years not had 2 out breaks in all those years until now. Same kind of symptoms as you and this out break has lasted about 6 weeks now

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