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    I had protected sex with a man I am dating. He disclosed that he does have herpes beforehand. I did not perform oral on his m. I feel we were pretty safe. I did not realize the major anxiety I am feeling the next day. I feel as though it is a waiting game now to see if I am now infected. My question is what are the chances I have the virus and do I get tested regardless if I ever show symptoms. I am not sure I can deal with feeling this way everytime we would decide to be intimate in the future. Any advice is appreciated.


    In reply to: Feeling Alone


    I have HSV-1 so my doctor told me the first outbreak would be severe. It has been. The first few days (maybe actually day 3-4) because I didn’t see a doctor until I noticed full symptoms were horrible. The first day I was only taking the antiviral so was in immense pain. I am finally feeling much better today, what I think is day 7, and hope it continues to improve. I had to work the whole week and some of the things that really helped me through towards the end were Tylenol extra strength (I was scared to take it with the antiviral, but haven’t had problems). Epsom Salt baths, this has helped more than I can say, including with the pain. I take two or three a day. At least in the morning and before I sleep. Also, if you are really having trouble peeing drink more water, it sounds crazy but works. I was struggling with posting on here or not, but I was so alone and in so much pain my first few days that I decided I would do anything to help those going through the same thing. It does get better and even with outbreaks at least in the future you a) aren’t dealing with the unknown which was the scariest part for me and b) have tools to handle the temporary pain. Lots of good vibes being sent to anyone dealing with this!

    • This reply was modified 4 days ago by  Lila.
    • This reply was modified 4 days ago by  Lila.


    I’ve had herpes for nearly 5 years, diagnosed after a brief promiscuous period when my boyfriend of 6 years cheated on me and we broke up. But for the last 4 years or so I was taking antivirals daily so haven’t had an outbreak in years. Recently my doctor has told me that I shouldn’t be taking them daily and to stop. The first month or so was ok… No symptoms. But in the last 3 weeks I’m on my second outbreak! I also have ulcerative colitis which makes my immune system low. I’m also a nurse which is high stress.
    I’m not sure if I should go back on the antivirals to suppress the symptoms or what I should do.
    I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and he knows about my herpes but we haven’t communicated a lot about it because we haven’t had to with me taking the antivirals.
    I feel defeated and am looking for advice.


    In reply to: Depression with Dx


    I am having a hard time, with the same issue. I never realized how many cruel jokes ppl makes about those with STI’s until I was diagnosed. I want to defend others so badly, but I don’t to disclose my status. Over the last few months some of my family members have made statements about HSV unknowing of my diagnosis.It is very hard not to let these jokes or statements get be depressed, but I am working on that daily.

    Since my diagnosis it has made me realize how uneducated people are about herpes even though so many people have HSV 2. I also wonder how many people who judge those with herpes actually have it themselves. I have seen statistics saying that 80% of those who have HSV 2 are unaware because they have little to no symptoms.

    To make me feel better I often count the ppl in the room and think statistically I’m not the only one in the room with HSV 2, so I am not alone.According to the CDC more than 1 out 6 ppl aged 14 to 49 has HSV 2. So look around the room and know you are not alone we are not alone.


    In reply to: Feeling Alone


    Wanted to give an update and thank everyone for making me feel less alone. I spoke with my boyfriend last night and he was so understanding and was primarily upset that I hadn’t told him, as he wanted to be there for me. He made something that felt like the end of the world a few days ago, feel like it is no big deal, as it is. The medicine is finally working and my symptoms are subsiding so I am in significantly less pain. He is going to get tested this week so we can see where to go from here. I feel so much better than I did last week as I am surrounded by supportive people. I know that this does not have to define me and I wanted to write back in to let those who are just now beginning to go through it that it does get better – something that I didn’t necessarily feel when I first found out.



    Hi everyone, I was diagnosed today. Im just wondering if anyone has had any similar symptoms as me? Feeling kind of concerned and not sure if this is the side effects of my medicine or not. I have had a lingering headache the past few days. I first noticed the sore about 3 days ago and went in yesterday and they called me with results today. I also have a sensitivity feeling I guess on my right leg like it’s a sore tingling, raw kind of feeling on my hip, thigh and lower leg. Very weird and random and makes me nervous. I never had any flu like symptoms. The pain of the sore doesn’t burn necessarily it more so stings to me and only when it touches other skin or when I move to fast. Thanks ladies.



    Tell your partner, even if you are not sure. Being truthful and transparent is important. Get checked by a medical professional to be sure as there are many different symptoms of an outbreak.


    In reply to: Just Been Diagnosed

    Dr. Kelly

    I remember when I was diagnosed at 23 years old and it felt like my whole world was tumbling around me. Know that you will get through this and it is not a journey to be taken alone. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please get immediate help!

    Call 800-273-8255 (24/7/365)
    Text 273TALK to 839863 (8am-11pm PST daily)

    You can text them or call them and they will be there for you any time of day!

    I have been working with women with herpes for over a decade. We all are just normal, everyday women that happen to carry a virus. In many ways, it is no different than having the chickenpox virus, which also a herpes virus and lives with you forever. Please don’t let a little virus have power over your life. You can learn to have a totally normal sex life and develop awesome loving partnerships. I highly suggest reading my book where I share what my personal experience was like and how I overcame the symptoms and herpes stigma. If I can, so can you!
    Dr. Kelly Schuh


    In reply to: Feeling Alone


    Hey Cassi, I know exactly how you feel! My boyfriend knew about all my symptoms and when I came back from doctor and told him what I had, he was not mad at all, he actually apologized to me for what I was going through and said it wasn’t my fault at all and that it will be okay, my advice would to be honest with him and tell him that the meds prescribed will help with outbreaks but the virus will be in your body forever and as long as you guys use protection he should be fine, but to get tested anyways. good luck!



    Hello everyone.

    I am 21 years old and have just be diagnosed with HSV-2 about a week ago.
    It started with what I thought was just a UTI. I went to the doctors and they proscribed antibiotics to treat the UTI. It didn’t help so I decided to examine myself and noticed red sores inside and had a bad feeling. I immediately became sad and went to the urgent care the next day. I broke out in tears trying to tell the nurse what was wrong. They did an examine and tested for everything. Upon looking at the sores the doctor told me it will most likely come back positive and it did. I’ve been prescribed Valtrex and on day 5 I feel a lot better. Just body aches and my sores have pretty much healed after just a week.
    Overall, I just feel depressed. I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years now and both being faithful it was a shock. However we’ve both never been tested for HSV before due to lack of symptoms. He’s been really supportive and wants to stick by me, but I feel disgusting and worthless. I don’t feel deserving of his love anymore. I am terrified to pass it on to him since he doesn’t have a spleen and can’t fight infections as well. I plan on taking antivirals as a suppressant to reduce the risk. But I know it will always be there. I am trying to be very positive in knowing I am not alone and I will make it through this. It’s just hard to see the good in this right now. I am just so unhappy. I haven’t gotten to vent and have read forums really help so I thought I’d give it a try.
    I hope everyone on here happiness and the best. I hope for this to get better quickly.


    when i was diagnosed with genital HSV-1 3 months ago i was out of the country. the doctor at the sexual health clinic told me that a lot of people have HSV 1 anyway, and that it can only be passed on during an outbreak.

    i recently had sex with a partner (one time unprotected, one time protected) and didn’t disclose my HSV-1 status because i wasn’t having an outbreak. (FYI my first ever outbreak was very mild, and maybe lasted 4 days with antiviral medication – no flu symptoms just sores).

    after the sex i felt worried, and low and behold saw through some of my own research that it can be transmitted even when there is no outbreak. what is the likelihood of those two occasions transmitting something? i’m stressing about the situation quite a lot.



    At 47 and in a committed relationship for the last 13 months with a wonderful responsible 52 year old divorced father of two college daughters. Neither of us had any symptoms or any problems issues or diseases before this. He got a major case of jock itch from walking in the heat. We had a lot of sex on a Sunday and by Wednesday I was at the dr with a burning crotch. Nurse practitioner took one look and said this looks like herpes. She tested me for yeast infection(none found) and vaginitis (present) and herpes (hsv 1 found). There are a lot of sores. It burns like the fire of a thousand suns when I pee and it hurts a lot. They prescribed anti viral meds that I have been taking for 5 days (not improving) and some insert antibiotic that I insert 2X a day. I can’t believe this has happened. I don’t understand where it came from. Neither my boyfriend or I would ever cheat on each other. Why is this happening now? Did he give this to me or did I give this to him? How does he have a yeast infection and I don’t? None of this makes any sense. I go to the dr regularly and get check ups and they have never found traces of any sexually transmitted diseases. I assumed that meant I didn’t have herpes. I was shocked to read that drs don’t test for herpes during routine check ups! What the heck! I seriously thought that would be one of the main things they checked for. This whole thing has me in a tailspin but mostly just trying to stop feeling the intense pain. I started using neosporin and the urinary track medicine you can buy at cvs that turns your pee orange. That seems to have helped the pee not feel like I’m
    Pouring acid on an open wound! I want to know how this happened. Is there any way it was not transmitted sexually? Like from a pool or hot tub or bar of soap or toilet seat or from work? And how long will it hurt?


    Dr. Kelly

    I too acquired this virus through a cold sore and my first outbreak was horrendous! Know that it does get better.
    For now, you can use ice to decrease the pain and consider peeing in the shower or in a tub with a little bit of water in it and then drain the water. It will really help with the stinging. Also, just pat the area dry after showers/baths/wiping and you can use coconut oil or vitamin E topically to speed up healing.
    There are several other suggestions I have in my book where I share my personal journey and what I did to overcome the symptoms and the emotions.
    Hang in there!!!
    Live. Love. Thrive.
    Dr. Kelly



    You should have been stated on antivirals right away. They will help with the healing process faster. I would call and request that she prescribe them. They are best stated as soon as you notice symptoms of an outbreak. I hope you can get some relief. The first outbreak is usually is the worst and lasts the longest. Nerve pain, fatigue , aches is all very common. And as for normal , I haven’t felt normal since I was infected either. Some people are lucky tho and are asymptomatic most of the time with no pain. I think the pain and the number of outbreak recurrences are correlated with how you feel emotionally. I know I struggle with repeat outbreaks and pain over a year now because I still have trouble accepting this virus as a part of my life now. It’s difficult for sure. I’m sending you support and know you’re not alone . I’m dealing with an outbreak now as well



    Hi everyone. I’ve been with my partner for about 5 months but have known him for years. When we got together, he told me early on about his HSV2 status. We practiced safe sex but about two weeks ago I fell ill with what felt like mono. A few days later blisters appeared and I returned to my NP and asked for the HSV swab. Unsurprisingly, it was positive.
    I’m so lucky that my partner and I love each other and while this wasn’t planned or wanted, at least I knew it could happen because he was honest. And we did try to be careful.
    What concerns me is how sick I’ve been. My partner had no physical symptoms, but I’ve been battling a low-grade fever, body aches, fatigue, and nerve pain for nearly 2 weeks. I had to ask my NP for cream and she’s yet to say anything about antivirals. I’m so afraid I won’t feel better. I’ve read posts online where people said they never felt normal after the first outbreak. I’m unsure what to do, if I should still try to start antivirals or if it’s too late. I’m thankful I’m not alone but my partner is helpless too, as this is a different experience than what he had.
    Any advice is so very much appreciated.

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