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  • #43655

    Topic: Anger

    MZ
    Participant

    Hey all, I’m new to this forum but I’m beyond thankful to have found a platform where I can talk about my hsv diagnosis. I’ve had a lot of anger since I got diagnosed last year. My boyfriend of three years and I were on a “break” as you would say, where I was trying to find myself again and he slept with other people lol. When we got back together, he didn’t have any symptoms so he wasn’t aware. Once he did get symptoms, he informed me and well there you have it. We broke up about five months ago.

    In the last five months a lot has been going on emotion wise. I’m still healing from the breakup but the idea of being with someone new with this diagnoses scares me to death. I’m young, I haven’t even been able to fully get out into the world yet. And then the wave of anger shoots over me. I’m angry at him, at me, and at the world for making my chances of finding someone who loves and accepts me harder than it already was. I hear all the “if a new partner can’t accept the diagnoses he wasn’t the one”, which calms me to a point. But how do you even put yourself out there? How do you tell someone? How do you stop feeling like this is the end of your dating life? And most importantly, how do you stop yourself from being so angry and bitter about it?

    The only person that knows is my ex, which I no longer communicate with. So I would greatly appreciate hearing about your stories and how you’ve overcome these difficult times.

    #43654
    NyGirl03
    Participant

    Hey guys 6 months ago I was diagnosed with HSV2 I know hsv2 can be asymptomatic it was just very weird to me being that my vagina is crazy sensitive anything can knock off its PH. If i do not pee directly after sex I WILL get an UTI etc, ive also struggled with BV and I know this is a little tmi but a couple years ago I got chlamydia and I had sever pelvic pane and an odor i say all of this because i got rechecked for hsv2 and my igg was 1.36 , which is an EXTREMELY low positive. A low positive so close to the cut off with no symptoms I heard from Terri Washington that has an 85% chance of being a false positive. 6 months after being officially diagnosed and it is 1.36 it just seems off. I am wondering how likely it is that I really do have a false positive and is there anything else out there that can confirm this false positive. and if anyone knows how to go about it

    #43653
    crystalsmyth198
    Participant

    Hi everyone,
    I just recently found out I have genital herpes. It first started off with symptoms similar to a yeast infection until I started getting sores and blisters. I was so confused I had been with my partner for almost 9 years there was no way I could have herpes. I confronted him and he finally admitted to having an affair with a prostitute at those happy ending massage places. Now because of his betrayal I have to live with this forever. It’s my first outbreak and the pain is excruciating. I can’t believe I have caught this disease because of him. I trusted him and I never in a million years thought he could do this to me. How am I supposed to live like this? No one in my life knows only him I am terrified to tell anyone. My family are strict Christians they will think I am disgusting. Idk what to do..

    #43639
    Nancy
    Participant

    I am so sorry you are you going through the emotional pain. I had a similar experience a year ago when I was diagnosed with HSV 2. The doctor had such a nonchalant attitude about my diagnosis and I was shocked. I fell into a depression and contemplated suicide and totally suppressed my feelings and ignored my diagnosis. I didn’t have any symptoms or outbreaks until I received my test results…probably because I was stressed out to the max. There’s a me two aspect to dealing with herpes. First you have to accept it and then educate yourself and find what’s right for your body. This forum is a great start to get educated and feel supported. You are not alone!!

    #43636
    MJA
    Participant

    Hello! I read your post and wanted to let you know that person is out there! I know it. I know someone who feels the exact same way as you do about navigating having herpes and wanting to be fully embraced in a sexual relationship – unprotected (note she is fine with me sharing this story). She was 100% upfront with her new partner, at the time, about what she wanted and needed in a sexual relationship. Her new partner was initially shocked at the bold statement so early on but was so taken with her that she was okay with the risk. I wanted to let you know that they have been together for 3+ years now and are happily married. Her partner recently went to her own doctor and asked to be tested, even though she had never had any symptoms, and her doctor recommended against it. There are people out there who will be on the same page as you, will love you so much that it won’t matter.

    I hope I can find the same! xx

    #43616
    lovelost
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I know the feeling far too well and it sucks. Please try not freak out until you have confirmation from your doctor. I know it’s easier said than done but stress will only make you sick. If you develop symptoms make an appointment right away so they can swab the area and provide a more accurate result. I know it’s hard not to think about everything that can go wrong, but for now my advice would be to take it one day at a time. Sending you hugs

    -Gab

    Claire
    Participant

    Hi All,

    Never knew forums such as these existed and I’m so glad I came across this one. I’m 23 years old and recently got out of a toxic relationship with a man. I have been having symptoms following almost 2 months after we started dating and have honestly been in denial about it. I have my appointment with the OBGYN and I’m expecting the worst. Should I have the virus, I would not feel comfortable reaching out to him, as I’m 99.9% positive I contracted it from him. If any of you could provide support or advice, that would be awesome.

    #43592
    Tiffdonttrip
    Participant

    Hi How long after exposure did you display symptoms? What were your symptoms? Curious to know, I was diagnosed in September of this year. I had flu like symptoms followed by what I thought was BV or yeast infection but instead found out I had Herpes 🙁 my current partner tested negative twice by blood and urine test. Could my ex of 2 yrs had given it to me and I just had my first outbreak? If so would the flu like symptoms appear if this virus had been dormant for that length of time? Any answers/advice would be appreciated. My ex recently reached out and I feel the need to tell him

    #43571
    Sundari
    Participant

    Very sorry and I completely understand. I contracted it from my ex-husband while we were dating. We got married after. Honestly, I felt forced to marry him because I didn’t want to go out and date with this condition.

    He claimed he didn’t know but later he suggested that might have had symptoms before. The person who gave me my results also was not clear. She said I had “one.” But what she meant was that the test they gave at that point was not type specific and I had one of the two types. My then husband said nothing even though he know it was HSV2.

    Anyway, I found out about at least 9 different women during our marriage, including prostitutes. It was horrible. Then he was an alcoholic on top of it.

    So I understand your bitterness. It’s understandable when people break your trust. Not being honest about having HSV is a huge breach of trust. My bitterness comes and goes almost 10 years after my diagnosis and 4 yrs after my divorce. It has never fully left.

    Here I am at 39, desiring a husband and children…but dealing with this condition.

    #43562

    In reply to: How to live life after

    Amara
    Participant

    Medication really helped my first outbreak. I was in similar pain to what you’re describing & it lasted for nearly two weeks before I got the medication, but once I did it cleared up so many symptoms in just a few days, so hopefully once you have that you’ll feel better soon.
    As for your experience with date rape, i’m so sorry that happened. Although mine isnt the same, I did have a roommate who contracted herpes in the same way. it was difficult for them but they were able to have a very normal sex life & dating life once they were able to process their emotions, you’re not dirty or alone in this

    #43545

    In reply to: Herbal medicine

    Sian
    Participant

    Thanks. I have used your link to ask for advice. So does he ask about information about your health and symptoms?

    #43512
    emma
    Participant

    I think it’s good that you have been doing your research. Even finding this forum and trying to get an opinion is very mature and kind of you. That being said I’m sure you know the statistics that 1 in 8 people have it. If you’re considering being with this man, you could even get tested to see if you possibly have it. Most people don’t know they do and it’s a blessing that he is responsible enough to tell you.

    If you’re unsure about him, you could still continue get to know him without sexual contact. Make sure that you really like him and really know who he is.

    Is he taking any kind of suppressant? Not having sex with symptoms, taking a suppressant, and using condoms are all separate forms of protection. With all 3 the chances of you getting it is slim. But it’s still not 100% effective.
    Is he doing everything he can to protect others? It’s ok to ask him questions

    Rejecting him for that reason does not make you shallow or an asshole, but it is a test as to whether you truly liked him. You should think about how much you value him. Could it be long term? Is it worth the risk? That’s all up to you.

    I’m sure he would be happy to answer any questions you have. It doesn’t change who he is, if anything he might be a stronger and more loyal companion because of it.

    #43508
    emma
    Participant

    I had sex with someone who knew they had HSV-2 but did not disclose it to me. This was in Dec-Jan, maybe 3 times we had contact.

    I found out and got tested in March. Test came back negative. I heard from my university doctor that I should wait 6 months to test instead of 3 months. So I wait another 6 months just to be safe. (We are in a pandemic anyway ain’t gonna be meeting people.)

    This test in late Sept. comes back as “equivocal”. I have HSV-1. I got it when I was a kid. Nurses at UNI doc say its unlikely that I have type 2. I have not had any symptoms (that I have noticed anyway) and its been 9 months. They tell me to get tested again in 2 weeks.

    Its Oct. I get tested again. Test comes back as “equivocal” again. Uni doc say I have it. The numbers for detection are 1.09 and I got 1.08.

    Every test I got was $100. The first test they had to redo bc it came back that I didn’t have HSV-1.

    Should I get retested again? Are student tests accurate? Has anyone had a similar experience? If I get retested, is the western blot worth it?

    I also started taking medication called “acyclovir”. Would taking this medication affect my results?

    I don’t have health insurance at the moment. I have been going to my university health center bc its cheaper. Any insight would help.

    Cami
    Participant

    Hi guys!
    I am 26 just got out of a long term relationship about 6mo ago and have been frequenting tinder since. The dates come very easily, but they all kinda suck. Didn’t know it would be so hard to find someone, but finally I meet this guy and I really like him! So 3 dates in and we’re making out and stops me and says we need to talk. Well I’m sure you can guess he told me he has herpes.

    I wish I could have gotten a chance to get to know him more before considering all of this, but either way I am so grateful that he told me. Even if we never have sex, it’s a wake up call to me. I’ve had plenty of unprotected sex with people I shouldn’t have in the past and I sympathize with him.

    Been researching everything and still not sure what to do. Seems like if we only had sex a few times with condoms I would probably be fine taking that risk, but that’s not really what I want in a relationship. The main goal is long term, and eventually I’ll want to have sex more and probably not use a condom. Soon enough I would probably end up with the virus.

    Seems like the stigma is worse than the symptoms. I don’t wanna be that peice of shit who runs away as soon as I hear, especially because I really like this guy.

    For most people, catching herpes is just bad luck. Yes there were things you could have done to prevent it, but let’s be honest, everyone makes mistakes, and it’s not your fault. But if I take this risk, it’s completely my responsibility to deal with any consequences that follow

    My biggest fear is things will be good for a few years and then they turn bad and then I’ll feel stuck because now I have herpes and no one else will want me. That’s so dumb, I know there will be people who understand and still think I’m worth it. I want to be one of those people who understands and doesn’t care. But I’m honestly scared to death.

    Open to all opinions/ stories just looking for someone to chat with because I’m not so comfortable talking with my friends about this yet. Thanks in advance!

    #43465
    Abigail
    Participant

    @indigiblue what if you could take a med that could control the virus and the symptoms and never get worried of telling anyone you have the virus?
    Write me on gracejohnforever@gmail.com

Viewing 15 results - 1 through 15 (of 699 total)