My name is Natalie and I’m 31 years old I have been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend of 13 years. About 2 weeks ago I started having symptoms of what I thought was a UTI, burning during urination, and by day 3 my vagina felt swollen by day 4 there were what looked like blisters along my labia and my butt cheeks the pain was horrible I went to the doctors as I could no longer bear the pain. A swab was done and sure enough the rules came back HSV1. At hearing those words I felt nothing at first I was numb but not too long after it hit me like a ton of bricks I have something incurable how could this happen! I am still trying to process this. I told my partner he has been supportive but soon thereafter guilt sets in for him as he came to the realization that when he was 13 he had a bad bout of cold sores all over his mouth and nothing like that had happened since but he did have one bump on his inner lower lid and I guess ignorance got the better of the both of us and we didn’t realize the virus lays dormant and once you have a cold sore it’s already in you and of course we did not realize it could be transmitted from his mouth to my genitals. My partner is filled with guilt that he is the reason I am infected I keep reassuring him it’s not his fault but emotions are high and all over the place right now. I feel so many things and have so many questions like can my boyfriend pass the oral hsv to my mouth by kissinge or am I immune because I already have the virus I’m scared to kiss him and we just don’t know what we are doing…
Topic: MY TRUTH-my diagnoses
I will start by saying I have NEVER told anyone my truth and have never shared with anyone other than my gynecologist. I am hoping that by telling my story here I will find the confidence to share it with a potential partner. My reason for not sharing has been embarrassment and fear of being looked at differently or rejected. Also, I don’t want “friends” telling other “friends” or anyone else knowing my personal business. For example one of my best friends who I usually confide in made me aware years ago of another mutual friend who was devastated by a diagnoses. I am pretty sure it was herpes and I wanted to reach out when I was diagnosed but I couldn’t because I wasn’t supposed to know she had it. (crazy huh) She has since been in an amazing long term relationship and I want guidance on how to share with a potential partner and what her ups and downs were but I can’t ask.
I have probably had herpes well over 25 years but was diagnosed almost 4 years ago. As Dr. Kelly states in her book, Drs. sometimes brush it off for various reasons. I remember telling my gynecologist in my late 20’s (I’m early 50s now) that I had the strangest symptoms. Whenever I got my period I would get a rash on my right hip. He lightly said “Oh it’s probably just herpes” and moved on. I now know that it was the symptoms of herpes. Honestly I am glad I wasn’t made aware then because I don’t know how my life would have turned out or how I would have handled it but I often wonder if I have exposed anyone else unknowingly.
Originally I diagnosed myself. I have always been conscious of my health, getting yearly exams including checks for STDs. I ended up getting a cold sore under my nose and went to the pharmacy to get an ointment. Because I am also indecisive I couldn’t figure out what to get so I asked the pharmacist. He informed me it was a virus that was internal and I should try the Abreva. What…. an internal virus! I turned to google when I got home and realized the images staring at me on the screen looked very familiar to what I experienced monthly on my thigh. Yes I said monthly! The blessing is I don’t have vaginal issues, my symptoms are sacral meaning I “only” get a small patch of bumps on my thigh or on my buttocks.
My marriage was causing severe stress for unrelated reasons and my symptoms were out of control. Fast and frequent when one would leave, another would come. I had to confide in someone so on my next visit to a new gynecologist I stated “I need to tell you something….I think I have herpes” His reply was ….is that all? What? Long story short I had a blood test done to find out I have HSV types 1 and 2.
The original plan was to take Valtrex only when I had an outbreak but they were too frequent. My doctor couldn’t believe that I experienced them once or more a month. I have been on suppressive therapy for almost 3 years and it has been a God send.
I have been following a cleanse that has helped me to lose weight ONLY to find out that the foods required cause outbreaks! Protein bars, meal replacement shakes, protein powder, and nuts. I have been eating this way DAILY almost 2 years. By reading Dr. Kelly’s book I know this is a definite no no. I am so lost at this point I don’t know what to do or eat. Strenous exercise…..what? I am now on a journey to heal from within and following Dr. Kelly’s book. I do know my emotions trigger outbreaks. I can feel the tension in my back when something or someone gets on my nerves or I get stressed. I have found solace in the PinkTent website and am Optimistic that I can eliminate my symptoms altogether.
I have met a man that I am quite interested in. We have similar marital situations and have been communicating well over a year and have a chemistry that you know sex is forthcoming. We’ve even talked about it. I have to tell him of my issue but I don’t know how, where to begin, or what to even say. The caveat is we work together. I am terrified of how he will respond. My fear is having a coworker knowing something so personal about me if it doesn’t work out.
Any suggestions or guidance is appreciated!
Topic: hsv1- looking for answers
So I was just diagnosed with HSV-1 today. I’ve been researching online to see how this will affect my life now and I have several questions I’m hoping someone here can help me answer.
1) My initial outbreak was a tiny ulcer on my genitals. I went into the clinic the day after my initial symptoms and got anti-virals and it subsided after a few days. I haven’t had any signs of herpes in my mouth…I don’t think. I had a small bump on the inside of my lower lip but it didn’t hurt in the slightest and went away after a day or so and these bumps are something I have had waaaay before my initial outbreak. Could these bumps in my mouth be from HSV-1 all this time and I just had no idea until it reached my genitals? I guess my first question is, how obvious are oral herpes outbreaks? Could that have been one? And since I have the HSV-1 virus does that mean I will inevitably have an oral outbreak?
2) My second question (the one that originally brought me here) is about how to have sex now. I’m not gonna lie, this diagnosis has probably stopped me from having sex for quite a while just because of the mental component, but I want to be well educated on this topic. In my research I came across the information that non-spermicidal lubricant often has nonoxynol-9 (N-9) which irritates the vagina and can cause outbreaks. I was incredibly irritated to find that its nearly impossible to find information about what products I can use that DO NOT have N-9. I found a certain lubricant that is recommended for people with herpes but I’m more curious about condoms, or condom brands that don’t use N-9. What does “natural” condom mean? Will I always have to use non-lubricated condoms? I know these questions might be dumb but I’m just having a hard time coping with this and I’m finding it stressful that a virus this common is so hard to study 🙁
3) I think one of the hardest most stressful parts about this diagnosis is how to tell my friends and family. I told my twin sister who was very supportive and awesome about it, but I have no idea how to approach it with my friends. I don’t want to share drinks or lipstick or any of that with them anymore to avoid the risk of passing the virus onto them. I realize that this is low risk but I’m trying to be careful. Have any of you told your friends? If so, how? And are there any tips you can give me? I love my friends and I think they’d be supportive but I’m just terrified that they’re going to look at me differently, even though they’re well aware of my sexual history (girl talk and all that). I’m just worried about the social stigma surrounding the virus and I don’t want my friends to see me as “dirty” or a risk to them in any way.
Sorry I know this post is long and I didn’t even realize I had this much to say until I started typing. Thanks for sticking with me this long. Any advice will help! I’m so glad I’ve been able to join this community and read your guys’s stories. It really helps knowing I’m not alone in this. Thanks!
- This topic was modified 2 months, 2 weeks ago by cowgirl222.
Topic: HSV1 and disclosure
Hello all, this is my first post. I did a routine blood panel for STI’s and asked to make sure a bunch of tests were run including for Herpes. Came back positive for HSV1 but not HSV2. I was told that HSV1 could be just oral or both oral and genital…not sure if it can be just genital? In any case, how is one to find out if it’s genital or not? Do you disclose if you are HSV1 but not HSV2? I have no symptoms on or in mouth and never had. I can only gather that I’ve contracted it somehow in the last 8 years because my son is 8 and I was tested when I was pregnant for everything and everything was negative. I’m not that sexually active…aside from some make outs with my ex boyfriend that i’ve known 20 years. So do I tell everyone that I have HSV1. What is the standard protocol or is there one? Also is there a way to find out if it’s oral vs. genital or both? thanks. any advice would be helpful.
Topic: A new beginning
Yesterday I was diagnosed with genital herpes and here is my story. I am a 19 year old student at Bloomsburg University of PA. I have become quite a drinker since high school and have been permiscuous and negligent. I slept with someone I trusted, and he told me he was recently checked and is clean. Two days later I started getting painful symptoms. For some reason my initial outbreak was so severe that I went to the hospital. I have sores on my anus, butt, and inside/outside of vagina. I also feel sick and can’t get rid of this awful headache. The headache is like the worst I’ve ever had. I can’t even use the bathroom without crying from the pain of urine and wiping. The part that bothers me is that the man who gave me this disease was my “friend” and he was super nice and caring and I felt like he was genuine. But I’m reality, he was just trying to get into my pants. I feel violated. And dirty. And scared. The love of my life & I are in an open relationship and we have been together since high school. Idk how I’m going to tell him. I hate this. I’m scared of medicine and illnesses so it makes it even worse. I’m gonna try to look at it in a different light as time goes on. I want to learn from my mistake and hopefully get forgiveness from the man I love and have a monogamous relationship. I really hope he will look past the herpes and still be with me. I also will need to quite drinking so much. I feel like I deserved this. But idek what to think or feel yet.
Back in the beginning of August I was diagnosed with Herpes type two. The way in which I was diagnosed was extremely difficult.
Prior to meeting my partner who I received HSV2 from I had not been out on a date/relationship in close to a year. Wanted to get back out there again. We met and talked for close to three weeks before becoming intimate.
A week later I became very ill. High fever, body aches and chills and my lower abdomen hurt. I was send to the hospital after five days of symptoms not subsiding.
The doctors wanted to keep me over the weekend, do to an Ovarian cyst or and infection in my fallopian tube. They ran me for the most common STD ; trig, clap and gino. all came back negative.
The reason they kept me over night is that my white blood count was not at the right level. Night two of being in the hospital my throat began to throb and my lymphnos on my neck were extremely swollen.
Right before leaving the hospital (a totally of 4 days) they ran a viral culture on my throat. With 48hours i received results that my test on my throat came back as herpes.
Of course once I started reading about Herpes I wanted to know which kind. I took a blood test and it stated in the IgG test was that my index was 7.42 which suggested I had a early infection of HSV 2.
Two days later I received more results stating that I recently tested positive for HSV 1 and 2 in the IGM phase of the reaction. Also stating both HSV1 and 2 share many cross reacting antigens. Elevated titers to both HSV1 and 2 may represent cross reactive HSV antibodies rather than exposure to both HSV 1 and 2.
What does that mean? Do I have both? I have no idea. Its been over a month and I have had no vaginal outbreak and no sore throat. My only outbreak was in my throat. Can i pass it orally and vaginally? Or just orally because thats where my only outbreak was.
I am considering going back to the doctors for more test and more answers. I am just still so confused and frustrated.
Thank you for reading, i know i was long. Any advise would be greatly appreciated!
- This topic was modified 4 months, 3 weeks ago by Elizabeth.
Topic: HSV & HPV
Hello all! I am new to the site and this forum, but am excited to find a safe place full of like-minded people. I have had HSV2 and was recently diagnosed with HPV too. I feel alone and was wondering if anyone else suffers from two STDs with physical symptoms? How do you build yourself back up to be a confident woman?
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