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  • #44740
    daffodils252
    Participant

    Hi, I just got diagnosed this year with Hsv2 the initial outbreak was just uncomfortable and I felt so low for a while then I kind of just forgot about it and went about as normal you know worklife then boom quite a bad outbreak and ofcourse I read online feeling low and under the weather are ofcourse running up symptoms but it totally slipped my mind and now I’m sooooo uncomfortable, stopping myself from crying because I hate that I was stupid enough to put myself in this position, I just keep feeling very low because is this my life now after 2months I end up in uncomfortable pain scared that I’m going to spread it by accident to another part of my body incase I’ve not washed my hands good enough even though I know I have.

    #44738
    Brightangel
    Participant

    Hey everyone,

    This is mostly a vent post, I feel betrayed by men and I hate them too because those jerks barely get symptoms and throw their penises around like it’s nothing without the bad affects. They rarely get tested, because ….. MEN…..

    I was diagnosed about 3 weeks ago.

    I was obstaining from sex for about 7-8 months and got tested two weeks before I decided to have sex with this guy I was talking to. Unprotected of course. (Biggest mistake of my life)

    My tests came back negative, as it always has the in the past. (I used to be a sex worker so safety is a huge thing for me)

    Anyways, a couple days later I got itching, over a period of 12 weeks my symptoms got worse, from burning,It turns out he gave me Trich, Yeast infection and HSV1 and also a severe bladder infection AND UTI. I had to go to the hospital because of the pain and sickness.

    Being an ex-sex worker I already felt that I had no worth left, now I feel that I’m utterly worthless and disgusting. My best friend had it and was helping me through it but she passed away a mere 4 days before I got the official results.

    I don’t ever want to date or have sex every again. I feel like no one will ever love me or want me. I don’t want kids because what if I infect my child? Who would want a kid with me anyways ?
    How does everyone else feel about dating after being diagnosed? How have you gone about telling the other person?

    I’m bisexual and with women it’s such direct sexual contact that I can’t have anymore, unlike men if I really wanted to a condom would be used but doesn’t work for a woman.

    I lost the person that was my support, and I’ve been wondering who out there had things like this to share. I’m truly thankful for this forum.

    #44735
    mj
    Participant

    Hi all. New here. Diagnosed 8 years ago, never had a breakout since that first time. Thought I could just remain single and never have to talk about it again. Then I met someone, and before getting to the point of having sex, had the conversation. After processing the information and educating himself, he has alot of anger and resentment (understandable), but he’s afraid that he could have infected his child, because the information he’s read thus far leads him to believe that kissing and holding hands is enough to transmit HSV2. I want to re-assure him, but published research indicates that you can transmit HSV2 without active symptoms. Anyone have any literature that I can share that might ease his (and my mind) at all?

    sugar
    Participant

    Hi,
    I was recently diagnosed in June with a first outbreak of HSV-1, and haven’t had a outbreak since. like you I have feared contracting herpes all my life and when I got it I was in complete denial. I still am having a hard time coping but I honestly have been feeling healthy and have had no other symptoms of the herpes virus since my initial outbreak. I recommend you read Kelly’s book it helped me immensely with coping and treatment for the virus.
    I do recommend telling you partner it will relief alot of stress and anxiety for you. I finally told my best friend/partner and he handled it better than I thought he would although I was prepared to be rejected, I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t tell him and he became infected.
    Im going through the same thing that you are. Remember that you are not alone, we are not alone.

    #44709

    In reply to: White cloudy discharge

    harmony.zing
    Participant

    I would love to know the answer to your questions. I also suffer from discharge. Mine tends to have a slight odor, nothing as bad as when I’ve had BV but noticeable and it sometimes gets worse after sex. I started suppressive therapy with with antivirals a month ago but still experiencing the discharge and some minor symptoms. I use boric acid inserts from time to time and that helps but doesn’t stop it. I’ve been treated for BV and it still persists. I’m unsure where to turn because I can’t a ready solution.

    #44707
    sandrapeople96
    Participant

    So sorry about the behavior of your doctor, many acts that way and make one feel dirty. I feel you should seek out a professional who is also a specialist in herpes, he will also help with the symptoms and outbreaks. Just try to reach him on his WhatsApp on +2348148717513.

    #44697
    hopelessnow71
    Participant

    Hello everyone I’m happy I found this form. I’ve been dating somebody for 6 months I kind of feel like I’m into him more than he is with me but hes just monotone so maybe I misunderstand him.
    It’s happened twice that I got irritated after having relations.
    I never told him about it I just figured it was a ph balance issue no big deal the last time though it was more intense i went to get tested, I thought maybe he went outside of our agreed upon exclusive dating relationship. The results came back simplex one.
    Of course I was devastated and scared I Google everything and of course traumatize petrified all the words you can think of.
    I also read how it could lay dormant and I could be the one who was carrying and I could have passed this on to him.
    I recently had been superstressed and I read that during terms of stress you can have an outbreak even if you’ve never had one before among other things of course.
    I talked with my doctor he tried to give me hope I was just emotional the whole time figuring well that’s the end of this relationship that I really wanted and that’s the end of me ever finding love and I still feel that way somewhat as my symptoms have slowly began to go away.
    Any hue through the embarrassment of it all I sent him the information via text because I wasn’t sure on how to verbalize it to him and of course he called.
    He was concerned that maybe he had passed it to me and didn’t know about it and that I shouldn’t be embarrassed and that it’s OK and that he will go get tested he was very calm then I started thinking maybe he knew he had it and hes trying to get away with giving me something and having the discussion that he maybe didn’t want to have with me the whole time that we have been together.
    My mind was racing just all kinds of thoughts very emotional and depressed.
    And got his test results back and he is negative.
    I didn’t want to answer my phone I didn’t want to answer my text and when I finally did I told him how heartbroken I was and that I would have to let him go I just wouldn’t feel like spreading something to him and I will just not think of having a partner anymore it’s something I have to deal with now.
    He immediately made a joke and was like I’ll call you later OK?
    As he was at work and couldn’t talk about anything, he actually called me later I was nervous to answer the phone I was quiet I was expecting to hear you know it’s been fun I care about you but I don’t want to risk it.
    Instead he says well he was told he needed to get another test week down-the-line since hes been exposed and that was it And he went on to talk about how his day was when and what he was doing what he was going to do how I’m doing as if nothing.
    I told him doesn’t this basically seal the fate of any real long term relationship that we were going to try to have?
    His answer was you’re so silly you’re the one tripping about this not me He said we’ll just have to be more careful now that’s all it’s not a big deal.
    But in my mind I’m thinking what does he mean I know if it was the other way around I would be saying it’s no big deal I care about you we’ll deal with it because I’m me and I know my caring for this man and wanting to be with him I’m not worried about this diagnosis if it was the other way around. But I can’t imagine him doing that to me and I don’t understand why I can’t.
    He literally still wants to be with me he wants to be around me, I don’t understand I should be happy right right but I’m not.. I feel confused and I’m worried.
    He’s so handsome hes so professional hes such a great parent why would he even want me anymore I don’t understand.
    He has a chance to run, he has a chance to not come down with something that he’ll never be able to get rid of.
    Why is he choosing to act like it’s not a big deal?
    I know how I would respond as I said before it would not matter to me, I care deeply for this man he is something I’ve always dreamed of having. I felt before this diagnosis I had some confidence but now I have this diagnosis I am tainted, extra flawed. Why wouldn’t he move on? We are complete opposites hes very monotone, Doesn’t really seem like he has feelings but you know that he does but he doesn’t show it. I can’t explain I know it sounds weird. A part of me wants to push him away but a part of me wants to continue to be with him. We aren’t even in a actual boyfriend girlfriend relationship we both agreed to exclusively only date each other. I would love to be officially in a relationship but he says we should take our time there’s no rush, with this diagnosis why stay? I haven’t seen him for about 2 weeks by my choice though,
    I’m too embarrassed to look at him in his face, how could he even look at me? He gives me compliments and I don’t know how to accept them. How could he think I’m still pretty how can he be still attracted to me I’m disgusted with myself.
    Sorry for all the long paragraphs sorry for all the typos I’m using my talking text it adds words when it wants to.
    If you guys know how I feel or have an opinion and would like to chime in please let me know, I have an appointment for follow up care and I’m going to talk to my doctor about my feelings and maybe some counseling.
    I’m so lost.

    #44695
    Maria89
    Participant

    I just copied and pasted something I wrote to another user with the same case.

    Here are some facts you need to know:
    – HSV-1 –> 50%-80% of people have it.
    – Normally, you catch the virus during childhood with the kiss of a relative.
    – When you catch as a kid, you build immunity and won’t get it genitally.
    – What happened to you is that you didn’t get herpes type 1 in your childhood and initiated your sexual life without antibodies. You got it from oral sex. That was your first exposure to the virus.
    – Genital HSV-1 viral shedding (when you shed the virus without symptoms) is 2-5%.
    – It’s super rare to transmit HSV-1 through genital to genital contact, you get it from oral sex.
    – So, if you are not having an outbreak with genital HSV-1, you don’t need to disclose it (scientifically, not morally). Just give your body a year to build antibodies.
    – Since the sacral ganglion is not its’ favourite place, people with HSV-1 have fewer recurrences. The average is 0,7 per year (3-8 when people has HSV-2). Most people with HSV-1 have 1-3 outbreaks in the first 2-3 years, and then no more. (There are people with G-HSV1 that would say that they have more recurrences, but still, it’s rare). I have only had 2 in seven years. The first one was pretty bad, the second one was a rash and a cut 7 months after. After that, not at all. Nothing.
    – Scientifically, disclosure of genital HSV_1 shouldn’t exist since the transmission from genital to genital is extremely low.
    – Since almost everybody has it, you can just tell your new partner to get tested, chances he already has it are high. Since my diagnosis, I always asked my partners to get tested (I wouldn’t like to get HSV-2), from 10 guys I dated, just one didn’t have HSV-1. Three knew they had it because they remember having cold sores when they were kids (confirmed with the test), and 6 had it and didn’t even know it. They just knew it with the test. Fact: I’m in my 30s. So at 30, the stats of HSV-1 are 70% at least.
    – I disclose this by saying, I have the virus that causes cold sores, and it is herpes type 1. And then I explain the differences between type one and two. I say that I was unlucky to get the virus during childhood, and that was unlucky but lucky enough to catch Herpes type one, the nicer one, and that disclosure of genital HSV-1 is more trust than transmission.
    So, if your new partner has it, it’s okay, you don’t ping-pong the virus.
    I have never been rejected (and no, I’m not a hot girl. I consider myself average). I explain all this by looking at their faces, being calm, and I make sure to explain the differences, I also give them the fact sheet from herpesopportunity.com, and I normally ask them to listen to a podcast called “The Big herpes episode with Terri Warren” on youtube. In my experience, it’s really refreshing when my partners listen to this podcast. It answers all their questions.
    – Last thing. Don’t read or try to watch videos about herpes. A lot of people and even doctors don’t know this information and say “herpes is herpes”. I would suggest reading about it with Peter Leone, Terri Warren and Hofdsman. They are researchers dedicated to this virus.

    #44691
    Maria89
    Participant
    This reply has been marked as private.
    #44668
    Tryingtobestrong
    Participant

    I’m going through the same thing right now. I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I’m so glad I’m not alone because doctor google absolutely freaked me out. All of my other symptoms are resolving but this new symptom came 3 days ago. I know I need to pee, I just can’t quite get it out. I hope you’re doing ok!

    #44662
    Maria89
    Participant

    Olivia,

    Here are some facts you need to know:
    – HSV-1 –> 50%-80% of people have it.
    – Normally, you catch the virus during childhood with the kiss of a relative.
    – When you catch as a kid, you build immunity and won’t get it genitally.
    – What happened to you is that you didn’t get herpes type 1 in your childhood and initiated your sexual life without antibodies. You got it from oral sex. That was your first exposure to the virus.
    – Genital HSV-1 viral shedding (when you shed the virus without symptoms) is 2-5%.
    – It’s super rare to transmit HSV-1 through genital to genital contact, you get it from oral sex.
    – So, if you are not having an outbreak with genital HSV-1, you don’t need to disclose it (scientifically, not morally). Just give your body a year to build antibodies.
    – Since the sacral ganglion is not its’ favourite place, people with HSV-1 have fewer recurrences. The average is 0,7 per year (3-8 when people has HSV-2). Most people with HSV-1 have 1-3 outbreaks in the first 2-3 years, and then no more. (There are people with G-HSV1 that would say that they have more recurrences, but still, it’s rare). I have only had 2 in seven years. The first one was pretty bad, the second one was a rash and a cut 7 months after. After that, not at all. Nothing.
    – Scientifically, disclosure of genital HSV_1 shouldn’t exist since the transmission from genital to genital is extremely low.
    – Since almost everybody has it, you can just tell your new partner to get tested, chances he already has it are high. Since my diagnosis, I always asked my partners to get tested (I wouldn’t like to get HSV-2), from 10 guys I dated, just one didn’t have HSV-1. Three knew they had it because they remember having cold sores when they were kids (confirmed with the test), and 6 had it and didn’t even know it. They just knew it with the test. Fact: I’m in my 30s. So at 30, the stats of HSV-1 are 70% at least.
    – I disclose this by saying, I have the virus that causes cold sores, and it is herpes type 1. And then I explain the differences between type one and two. I say that I was unlucky to get the virus during childhood, and that was unlucky but lucky enough to catch Herpes type one, the nicer one, and that disclosure of genital HSV-1 is more trust than transmission.
    So, if your new partner has it, it’s okay, you don’t ping-pong the virus.
    I have never been rejected (and no, I’m not a hot girl. I consider myself average). I explain all this by looking at their faces, being calm, and I make sure to explain the differences, I also give them the fact sheet from herpesopportunity.com, and I normally ask them to listen to a podcast called “The Big herpes episode with Terri Warren” on youtube. In my experience, it’s really refreshing when my partners listen to this podcast. It answers all their questions.
    – Last thing. Don’t read or try to watch videos about herpes. A lot of people and even doctors don’t know this information and say “herpes is herpes”. I would suggest reading about it with Peter Leone, Terri Warren and Hofdsman. They are researchers dedicated to this virus.

    #44661

    In reply to: It’s been a month

    Paloma
    Participant

    Hi Rae, I am so sorry you are dealing with so much right now. I can relate! I was just diagnosed last Sunday and am dealing with the physical and mental symptoms. I have no idea where I got this virus either. Have been in a monogamous relationship since last January. Stay strong and hang in there. Glad we have this forum in which to share our experiences and feelings.

    #44660
    J
    Participant

    Hi all. So….I really like to give oral sex. More so than getting it. I am all sorts of confused about what I can and can’t do. I don’t have any symptoms at all but I was told I had both HSV1&2. I have no symptoms anywhere on my body. I am taking the supplements Dr. Kelly suggested and also am on valtrex. Do I really have to have “the talk” with every person I want to kiss? I am a make-out whore. I love love love to kiss. Do I really have to tell someone about the H before I kiss them? Idk. Am I ever allowed to receive oral sex again?? If I don’t have any symptoms at all, should I let someone down there? I feel like I can never do it / get it again and it’s frustrating.

    #44653
    bela
    Participant

    I am still in shock after my diagnosis 2 days ago. Can the virus really be dormant for over 22 years? Or is it most likely I’ve got it from my husband -who’s the only man I’ve been with in the last 22 years? He does not know if he has it and has never had any symptoms in his life. Now I am devastated to face the truth if he has been disloyal to me. I really thought we had a great relationship. What to do? I can’t stop crying.

    #44640
    tranquility
    Participant

    I just officially found out that I am HSV1 positive (genital.) I have done research so know that it is common but my mood seems to be in and out. I’m looking ahead and wondering how I can do this. I started seeing someone and we fooled around. A few days later I started showing symptoms. I went to the clinic which they swabbed. I did share with my person what was happening and he said he gets cold sores. I know I could have gotten it awhile ago as it is hard to trace. My person is supportive and nothing has changed. But I keep thinking about the future just in case and telling people. I’m meeting with a good clinic doctor (he did the swab) on Sunday. The doctor who phoned me with results was not helpful nor kind. How did everyone get through the initial shock? I’m a hot mess!!! Thank you!

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