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    In reply to: Recently Diagnosed


    Sue her. File a complaint. That’s wrong and illegal.

    Also your boyfriend probably already has it and just hasn’t had symptoms. Just tell him you’ve been tested and you tested positive and that he should be tested too. It can appear out of nowhere so if he actually winds up blaming you for it what sort of emotional intelligence is that, lashing out at someone else? How decent is he if he responds that way? Naturally, I don’t know the dynamics of your relationship and I only offer what I can. I hope taking action against the nurse gives you some sort of feeling of control and power. I think with herpes it’s mostly about the hopelessness and the helplessness feeling.


    Hi everyone. I have a situation that I think I am psychologically reacting worse to because I have been previously through traumas and I think I’m having trauma responses to this situation, like it’s not just the herpes element, it’s the situation too. So any reassurance would be helpful!

    I had a low immune system for about three weeks before this while I was travelling in UK France and Italy- cough that went on for a bit, then period, then down feelings in general. While I travelled I met this couple briefly, had a chat, they mentioned they were coming to my city, Milan, and I said ‘hey hit me up while you’re there, I’ll give you some tips.’ Cool. Whatever. Keep travelling, eventually return to Milan. I’m there for two days, just settling back when the guy contacts me – they’re in town tomorrow and we could do dinner or something. Ok cool, next day Jan 13th book aperitivo at a place.

    I meet them, we have dinner. I don’t want to go over the specifics but when I think about it the guy wanted to get drunk even over dinner. I thought we were only having dinner – the two of them pressure me to find a place that does more drinks. It’s a Monday night, most places seem to be closed, it’s 10pm, they’re like ‘oh we should get a new host’. Anyway, they’re keen for the first place we come across. Somehow there’s maxi drinks. They’re paying. The girl brings up a drinking game – the first question is related to who wants to fuck who at the table. I was like ??? no one?? The guy was like ‘only you, babe, haha’. I go to the bathroom. I come back. The girl is like ‘ohhh I know the look in his eye he wants to have a three way with you!!’ I am baffled. He is repeatedly saying ‘I’m so drunk, oh I’m soooo drunk’. ‘It;s ok baby!’ she says to him. ‘ I knoow!’ I think I say ‘no, I can’t my landlady is home’ – she cuts me off ‘we can go to our airbnb! and drive you home tomorrow no problem.’ I think I was pressured into a yes, like it was SO SUDDEN this topic came up. I was SO DRUNK. And she puts in ‘the only thing is I have genital herpes!’ and I was like???????? and she dismisses it quickly with ‘that ONLY means you can’t do oral on me! It’s ok, it’s ok’.

    Literally my next memory – I am not kidding – I’m in their hotel room taking my contact lenses out VERY BADLY. I’m already naked. Not to go over details unless it’s necessary but I do remember touching her and then myself — I also vaguely remember that I noticed she was quite dry and putting my fingers in my mouth. I also had sex with the man who was using a condom. It was 1) bad sex 2) really weird 3) ?????????? 4) I don’t think the girl actually wanted to have sex with me.

    Next morning I wake up in their bed, shitting myself. I cannot believe it happened but I was so placid and thought ‘well I did agree to it’ and ‘wait did I just contract herpes’. Anyway, they drive me home, they’re really weird. In talking with a friend over the next few days I realise that I was too drunk to have done that and how the fuck did that night go from me taking these people to dinner in my city to having sex with them? I message them, they tell me yes, it was genital herpes that she has but dont worry! I didnt give her oral!! It was safe! I was definitely consenting!!! How dare I express anger and confusion!!! I apparently ordered the uber!! They apparently offered me the couch!! Things I do not remember at all. They block me and change their names on facebook.

    Ok so symptoms. About a week later I notice tingling and a light burning, some yellow-ish discharge – period is also due soon. I go for a walk and I get friction burn wearing pants I normally wear, a think I felt a tingle down the back of my leg. I don’t know if it’s my mind. Also I was crying so much. And then I got conjunctivitis – and I cry even more thinking I might have got it in my eyes. I have swollen tonsils and sore armpits and elbows which makes me think shit it’s in my hands?? HYPOCHONDRIAC MUCH? As I said, probably also my traumatic past flaring up big time because I just don’t want this to be true. Right. So I go to a GP, GP says it looks like allergy dermatitis – there’s no vesicles. Also eyes are just puffy, don’t be a sook (Italian style doctoring). Doctor is also like ‘who ever you had sex with wouldn’t want to have sex because they would be sore.’ ????? GP is an idiot.
    Somehow got an appointment with an ophthalmologist – I have a history with glaucoma so I would test normal eye conjunctivitis anyway. Eye doc says it’s dangerous to test for ocular herpes because it means scratching the conjunctiva just to test the cells – and in making that scratch puts you at risk of getting herpes in the stroma and making everything so much worse. Eye doc says here’s some eye drops.
    Get a blood test, test results come back igm herpes 1/2 = 2.3; igg herpes 1 = 0.1; igg herpes 2 = <0.5
    Go to gynocologist. Now, my symptoms lessen actually – eyes go down, idk what my minge is like hard to tell with hair, no oral symptoms so far. Then I have some drinks with some mates and the next morning they’re all back. Ok drinking is a confirmed No. Left eye has this little red welt next to it on the inner half and the right itches in the same area but no redness and outer corner is a bit red. Eyelids feel oily (but I guess my face is oily because I’m confused how to wash my face properly being freaked out). Get a little bit of yellow goop a few times a day. Red rash on minge is back. Gyno says it looks like friction burn and based on what she could actually see it’s not herpes BUT because of the blood test she could prescribe me oral acyclovir and because of the yellow discharge (which she says could be anything) she gives me meclon. Tells me to come back for another blood test four weeks after I finish the antivirals.
    Cool. Taking meds for a few days. Get thrush yay. Suddenly get a feeling on my upper lip – could it be a pimple or is it a coldsore? It could be burning, it could be tingling. Why is this appearing AFTER I take the medications?? If it’s a coldsore it’s more likely I have it in my eyes. Stressstressstress. Put acyclovir cream on the area, as per instructions. Area seems to expand the next day. Put more on that. Area expands again. I realise this isn’t normal. Skin is VERY dry and red and swollen. Stopped using acyclovir cream. In general I think the red rash on the vaginal area is reduced but still present – not sure if solution was antibiotics or acyclovir tablets and whatever remaining redness is now I guess the thrush? I’ve finished course of antivirals and the antibiotics now. Eyes still have small yellow discharge, the itchiness is still present on the eyelids on and off throughout the day.

    Today skin on my upper lip came off in big pieces. Using moisturiser to maintian that area. I use disinfectant whenever I touch my face or my vaginal region, very careful. Use gloves in the shower. I probably sound like I’m overreacting – especially since these symptoms I’ve shown are apparently very mild?? But I am acknowledging now that I have been through some very dark places in the past and my responses to this horrible situation is probably normal in the scheme of those things.

    I hope the igm herpes 1/2 reading 2.3 is a false positive and I am actually just a hypochondriac with idk stress hives or bacterial vaginosis and normal conjunctivitis and idk a shit immune system that’s allergic to everything or something. Can anyone else tell me about their herpes symptoms or if they’ve gone through something similar?


    so long story short, about a year ago I went to the doctors thinking I had a bartholins cyst… he told me no and that he thought it was herpes and tested me… it came back negative.. I was elated. well fast forward and here we are my symptoms have come back and I got back to the same doctor and he tells me the same thing. he sent out for a culture and this time I also did a blood test. to say I am devastated would be an understatement. I don’t receive my results till next week but I hold out no hope. doctor said “sometimes it takes more than one test”… I have been married for almost 5 years and we both have been faithful and he says I could have had it for a very long time and not known…. I feel like depression is swelling me and I don’t know what to do with myself


    So I just started seeing this guy about a month ago. Prior to me and him getting together I actually went and got tested because I had been intimate with someone else and the condom broke.
    All results came back clean, but I’m not sure they tested specifically for Herpes? Someone else on here said HSV isn’t part of a standard screening. I’ve never had any symptoms till now. After me and the guy I just started seeing have already had unprotected sex, which was stupid in retrospect, and I feel terrible because what if I gave it to him??!?! His last relationship was his ex wife, and their issues never involved cheating. I’m panicking here


    Hi everyone,
    Thank you to everyone who is on this forum. This is priceless for me.
    I was recently diagnosed (last week Tuesday) and to summarize how I feel in one word is numb. I had all the typical symptoms and was doing my research and thought it may be HSV2. I went to gyn, who really didn’t say anything- took cultures and I didn’t hear back. There motto is no news is good news but what I didn’t realize is that the traditional sti/STD test doesn’t include hsv testing so I opted for to find my own way to get tested. Used an online company that gives you a requisition for urine and blood work and my igg was positive being greater than 5. Fortunately, that some company allows you to use their physicians to call in prescriptions. I immediately started valtrex with some relief. My question for you all is willy skin return to normal after the outbreak ends? Currently I feel like a lizard with how my skin looks.
    Also if anyone could give me pointers to mentally manage this. I ordered Dr Kelly s book, received it yesterday and started as well as been listening to various interviews.
    Any suggestions would be more than welcome
    Thank you all again


    Good on you for having such a great attitude, I travelled through south america with my partner on 2018 and so I can imagine the challenge you are having! I actually havent had symptoms as severe as yours, but they did go on for many weeks (but it was manageable!) … maybe in your case, once the severe part is over, it will just be your sores healing and not too bad. In terms of travel tips though, definitely go ocd on your hygiene so you dont pick up a secondary infection while your immune system is being smashed… with the pain/discomfort, try soothing aloe or cold tea bags – you could even try to make ice blocks with coconut oil and aloe but might be hard depending on where you are staying… keeping the area cool helps though, so an ice pack type thing if you have access can help you sleep.
    I would double check your insurance to see if you are covered because you also have a bacterial infectiom, definitely at least check the wording (i can help check for you if you want to send privately)…
    In terms of disclosure, i agree with Kay, its so hard to know who has it and how long it stays dormant etc… it is so common and can also be passed through sexual contact even when using condoms… so it’s really just bad luck… but it’s manageable (though it can take a while)…
    Suerte!! Y besos tambien xx


    Topic: Help


    I was diagnosed with HSV-1 on my genitals several years ago.
    My first outbreak was painful, but any since then I have barely noticed. But I now have the worst outbreak of my life.
    I noticed mild symptoms a couple of weeks ago but this happens on occasion and resolves without anti-virals needed. The symptoms got severely worse a few days ago and I saw the doctor today. I am now on Valaciclovir 500mg 3 times a day and antibiotics for a subsequent pseudomonas infection. My doctor also gave me lignocaine ointment.
    My problem is that I am in constant agony, I cannot touch the area or even put anything on it without screaming in pain. Water on the area is also agony. I am unable to urinate without crying for at least half an hour after, the peeing in water trick is no less pain.
    Has anyone got any ideas on how to reduce the pain?


    In reply to: going crazzy :(

    This reply has been marked as private.

    hello to everyone. i’m very confussed. i had protected sex with someone who had hsv2 on 18 th oct. i did blood test 23 of nov. and it came negative. after a week i bleed during sex but no pain or so. after that my vagina is so dry and not smelly discharge comming out. not very itchy but little tingles… i did blood test again 24 jan and waiting results… im so worried. could be possible to have hsv 2?!?! anyone with simmilar symptoms. my muscless on my legs twitching when im in relaxed position. also on glutes. i just realize little bit redness around my vagina… not pain…just wired feeling. never had cold sore or something like that..PLEASE HELP!! anyone …. im so lost


    If you have any outbreaks Olive Leaf Extract is perfect for your symptoms. I’ve been taking it for months and I’ve had little to no symptoms. I started taking 3 150mg capsules per day then 700mg once or twice daily. It really works and I hope this will stop your frequent outbreaks.


    I just recently found out that I had been diagnosed with HSV2 and I was floored. The reason why it was so shocking is because I didnt even have sex with this guy. We got pretty close, and he started to give me oral and I stopped him cause I wasnt ready to have sex with him. Thinking that I would avoid any risks and adding to my body count. Never thought this would happen. Fast forward to the week before last, I started itching and eventually came the discharge. I called my doctor, went in to get tested and the next day I found out. I was confused and lost. I still am even after reading up on the disease and how I could’ve caught it. I’ve only told my partner and he’s upset, and feeling every emotion that I felt the first day. So far i have been on my medication but i also have Olive Leaf extract in liquid form and also capsules. It is basically an anti-viral herb. I didnt really have an outbreak, and I’m so happy for that. Just mild symptoms. I just dont know where to go from here, and I do not want to tell everyone that I’m talking to. I just esnt to be friends with guys first and then tell them later on if they want to be with me. How you ladies handle that type of situation??


    In reply to: Not sure what to do?


    Hi, I just wanted to reply to you because you sound like you need some help, but I have not had symptoms as severe as yours before. However, I would try to clean the area and keep it as dry as possible. Try making a really strong black tea bath, or salt water. Once you pat yourself dry, try dabbing a bit of lemon balm oil mixed in a carrier oil like coconut oil. I know it sounds a bit fiddly but once you have the things and do it the first time it will be easier. As i said, you want to keep the area as clean and dry as possible. I would not be wearing underwear, just loose cotten shorts or pants, nothing that is constrictive. I always go commando at home.
    In terms of long term medication and therapies, it is really hard to know what works and what doesn’t. Which is a bit shit, I know. But just stay calm, read as much as you can, dont be afraid of asking wuestions here, look into alternativr therapies also which will help calm you mind etc. Ive heard that good quality red marine algae is very good for preventing frequent outbreaks but Im yet to try it.

    I hope that helps a little. Hang in there!
    Hugs xx


    Honestly I’m not sure how I can help unfortunately I wish I could. I’m only just finishing my first outbreak myself. But I understand in a way because I had to get my fiancé to get checked for it as well and I felt awful still do. He thought he had some symptoms but it turned up negative for him. He was so embarrassed to get checked and it was all my fault that he had to get checked so I feel awful that this could have been avoided too. So I know you don’t want him to get checked but that’s all I can really suggest to make sure if he does have anything that he can be treated or like with my fiancé turned out he doesn’t have it so he’s relieved. All we can do is work on ourselves and try to do better from our mistakes that’s all I’m focusing on. I wish I could go back in time and not make the mistakes but that’s not possible we have to live with our actions. I don’t judge you in any way I feel for you and am sending good vibes your way 💜

    Story of a girl

    This will be the first time in over six months I’ve ever opened up about this to anyone other than my boyfriend, so here goes nothing!

    So, in July of last year (2019) I made the ultimate mistake and not only put myself in jeopardy but I also put the love of my life there too. I cheated on him in July (over 6 months ago now..) and even more stupidly, I did it with a man who I knew had HSV-2, genital herpes. I made sure to use protection and had sex the safest way that I knew how. Fast forward to now, over 6 months since the initial affair with this other man.. I’m in pure panic mode because my poor boyfriend is breaking out in what he believes to be herpes and I cannot even bare to think that this stupid thing I did months and months ago is just now going to pop up out of no where..

    Just to give a little bit of a back story.. as this affair was happening, I was not sleeping with the man who openly admitted to having herpes and then sleeping with my S/O who’s never had any type of STD/STI’s. And also this man and I only “hung out” for ONE WEEK, and had sex TWICE. Both times he was not having an outbreak and we also used condoms, which I know now doesn’t protect you completely.. but my S/O caught us red handed together & early in the morning and put two and two together and figured it out on his own. So I know he knew deep down what was going on that week after catching us together at 8am.. but, I also lied through my teeth when the topic came up. I denied it literally until recently not only because I’m a coward and also a compulsive liar (I know it’s horrible and I absolutely am working on fixing myself and repairing the unimaginable damage I’ve caused..) but about a month or so ago, my S/O built up the courage to talk to me about something not being right with his penis. He’s always been very adamant about cleanliness and hygiene down there especially. So he explained to me his symptoms and that he’s been secretively hiding out in the bathroom not only investigating his dick but also researching what in the hell it could possibly be and sure enough the one thing he kept landing on was HERPES.

    It’s been a long time and I haven’t had any virtual signs of herpes. Now, I also know there have been people who’ve been infected with HSV-1 for decades without showing any signs once so ever, so my question is, instead of making my man go and get tested for it when this is something that SHOULD’VE and absolutely COULDVE been avoided had I not made that decision and possibly impacted both of our lives in such a critical manner. Please help! I will take any piece of advice or comment, anything at all at this point. I’m at a complete loss and I’ve broken this amazing mans heart and I don’t want to break his spirits too. I’m hoping it’s something that won’t be a lifelong

    If you’ve read this far, then thank you so much. I’m 100% ready for anything you have to say or suggest to me. I am literally stuck between a rock and a hard place right now and I don’t have many options left. I want to save my fHey amily and I want to make things right, and I don’t even know if that’s possible anymore.


    Hi! I was dating a man who told me before we were intimate that he was positive for hsv2. I fell in love with him and had lots of unprotected sex, mostly anal. Even after we broke up, we continued to have sex (he was not seeing anyone else or sleeping with anyone else).

    Then in October, he called me a couple days after we had sex and asked if I was ok. I said yeah. He told me he had what looked like a single pimple thing on his penis amd he’s going to get checked out to see if it’s an outbreak (he only had one outbreak before and he wasn’t even sure if that’s what it was). I had been sir on my bottom but that’s normal for a few days after the sex (it was usually kinda rough). My bottom got more and more sore each day. It became unbearable so i saw a Dr. She said it looked like hsv2 lesions but they had already broken so she could only do the blood test. The blood test (she tested for all STDs), came back negative. It could have been too soon to detect right? This was back in October. I have stopped sleeping with him and reduced contact so we can be friends and not have sex.

    The last week I met an awesome guy. We agreed to both get tested prior to having sex. I haven’t told about what happened with this. I’m planning to tell him today and I’m scared. I just want to give him the option to take thia risk or not. I don’t even know if I for sure have it. The dr seemed pretty sure that the stores were hsv2.

    I haven’t had any symptoms since. I don’t take medication for it.

    Is it possible to just have an outbreak but not contract the actual virus?

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