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Viewing 15 results - 31 through 45 (of 1,833 total)
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  • amber_mcdonagh
    Participant
    This reply has been marked as private.
    #44892
    G
    Participant

    So I was diagnosed with genital herpes 6 months ago, It still doesn’t feel real. I still haven’t told any friends or family, I just cry every night and then wake up and hope I can get through the day before I get myself back into bed and cry myself to sleep again. I have had an outbreak for 6 months straight, not a single day of relief. I have tried medication, suppression tablets, diet change, home remedies, daily vitamins, I’ve tried everything in the book and nothing clears it up not even for a day. Sometimes it looks like it’s healing and then before I know it it’s back to being severe. I’ve thought about suicide many times, I guess I just can’t bare the thought of missing my families life but sometimes I think maybe it would be better because I’m just so unhappy and scared. I’m 23 and all I can think is who would ever love me now, how could anyone accept all of this enough to have children, marriage a family with me. If this doesn’t clear up even for a couple of days how could I ever have children anyway! I feel like my life is over and I don’t know what to do!!!!

    #44890
    Ang
    Participant

    Hi everyone, I am 21 y.o., diagnosed with genital herpes 3 weeks ago. Initially, I thought it was a UTI because of the burning sensation and constantly needing to pee with little output, as did the NP I had seen. A few days later, I developed red patches that were very itchy. The next day, I had gone to urgent care, but I did not have any sores at the moment, so they wouldn’t test me for HSV. The following day, sores had appeared and I immediately went to a different urgent care. I then found out I have genital herpes after a swab test. Along with this diagnosis, I had also been told by the original NP who thought it was a UTI, that I actually had a yeast infection and BV, all at the same time. With the sores, I had flu-like symptoms (fever, chills), excruciating itchiness and pain. I couldn’t even sit or lay down comfortably, let alone walk. I also had to pee in a bathtub full of water (read about it online) to help the burning sensation and bowel movements were very painful and honestly, I think I had gotten constipated. I was given Valtrex for 10 days for the herpes, as well as medication for the yeast infection and BV. My initial outbreak was extremely painful and honestly traumatizing, I was bawling my eyes out everyday.

    Fast forward 3 weeks, here I am. I currently am not partaking in suppressive therapy, but I am thinking about it because the slightest itch makes me paranoid, thinking I’m going to have another outbreak. Just a few days ago, I saw another NP and turns out I have a yeast infection and BV again. As stated above, I’m only 3 weeks into my diagnosis, but it has taken a toll on my mental and emotional health. Not that I worry I won’t be in a relationship again, but more of I stress over another outbreak. I’ve been incredibly stressed and have also gotten my period since, and luckily, no new outbreaks. I started taking vitamin C everyday and recently purchased Lysine.

    I know that herpes is more common than people think and just that the stigma surrounding it is so awful, but I have had a lot of times where I feel as if I don’t want to be alive anymore because of this diagnosis and my worry of future outbreaks. I’ve read other forums and I know that symptoms and experiences vary from person to person, but a lot of women had said they would have an outbreak even from masturbating, whether with a toy, water, etc. I am a person who has a high sex drive, so you could imagine the stress I have knowing it’s possible to have another outbreak from that.

    Since the ending of my initial outbreak, I took precautions and bought several new feminine products. Cotton underwear for when I have outbreaks or even just an itch, medicated anti-itch wipes (OTC), fragrant-free soap that has colloidal oatmeal (for down south), switched to sensitive skin body wash, and also have unscented wipes specifically for my genital area.

    I know that was a lot of information, but I wanted to share my experience, as well as sharing the products that have helped. If anyone has any advice/tips regarding preventing outbreaks, products/supplements to invest in, their opinion on suppressive therapy, how to deal with mental/emotional toll, or really anything, please share! Like I said, I am extremely new and I have lots to figure out. Oddly enough, deep down I keep thinking maybe my herpes results were a false positive, considering the yeast infection and BV, is it possible? Or am I just in denial?

    Side note: I have a great support system, being one of my best friends and my parents. I also struggle with mental illnesses and am soon to be back on those medications, hopefully that will help with my anxiety over future outbreaks and the increased depression since my diagnosis. I have yet to get bloodwork done, so I am unsure if it’s HSV1 or HSV2, the person I had got it from has HSV1 (it was a fling, I was unaware, and he claimed to be unaware of being positive)

    Thank you all in advance, I really appreciate it and am so happy I found a forum where I do not feel alone. Wishing you all the best!

    #44884
    rvanness
    Participant

    I have been married for 17 years and now I had my very first outbreak. I am scared he cheated but my doctor says I could have had it. I’m in pain and very depressed.

    #44883
    June
    Participant

    Hi, I’ve had HSV 2 for two years now and I’m getting back to back outbreaks. I have swollen lymph nodes, a few sores and my body aches all the time. One of my friends told me that maybe maybe it’s not HSV outbreaks, but vulva cancer. These symptoms seem very similar. I was tested and did has HSV 2 years ago. I’m just a nervous wreck and want to cry. I have at least two outbreaks a month. My sores are very painful. Does anyone else have a lot of outbreaks? I sometimes miss the signs of an outbreak coming on and then the sores form. I’m so sad. Can anyone give me advice. 🙁

    #44867
    Whiteboard
    Participant

    A doctor included hsv in my routine without my knowledge. It came back positive for both hsv 1 and 2. I have never had an outbreak, I have a very low immune system due to also having kidney disease. I have had shingles in the past as a child and I have read some articles that say the shingles antibodies can be detected as herpes antibodies. Do you guys know if there is some truth to that? Also my doctor told me there is no need for me to disclose as I have the antibodies and not the infection (because I have never had an outbreak and I may have just came into contact with hsv as a child unknowingly). I am struggling with this diagnosis especially because I do not know how/if/when to disclose. Please help

    #44856
    queenzeppelin
    Participant

    I just wanted to share that I have had my first reoccurrence outbreak a year after the initial breakout and the pain was no where near as bad when I first broke out. I just wanted to share with you ladies that it might get easier. Obviously I’m not a doctor but from personal experience the first one hurt more then child birth and the second outbreak was like nothing, basically just made sure my lady parts where kept clean and dry

    #44855

    In reply to: Fissures after herpes

    Sophie
    Participant

    Same!!!!! Every time after sex they rip open and I’ll have an outbreak. It drives me insane

    #44852
    BeLove
    Participant

    I feel your frustration. I stopped Valacyclovir as well as it stopped working I am taking the lysine and zinc too but I seem to have outbreaks just as one goes away, another appears. Doing my best to not scratch but it is awful!

    #44850
    anh31528
    Participant

    Has anyone all of a sudden had an increase in outbreaks? I thought it was food related originally but I cut back on the sugar and I’m still getting an outbreak every other week! I’m taking 1g valacyclovir, 3000mg of lysine and 250mg zinc daily. I’m thinking of stopping the valacyclovir because it doesn’t seem to be helpful. Does anyone have any insight? I’m so frustrated. I do have an appointment next month with infectious disease. I’m so worried they won’t be able to help me. 😞 I’m at my worst end

    #44849
    Brooke
    Participant

    I have been struggling so much lately, and just feeling unable to see a future at all. So I’ve decided I should probably share my story and start trying to heal emotionally. So here we go!

    I was diagnosed with a new infection of HSV2, and an existing infection of HSV1, 5 months ago after having protected sex with someone on a casual basis. He did not tell me he had herpes, I have been getting sexual health check ups with any new partner for many years (HSV isn’t included on these apparently!) and until my diagnosis I had no idea you could get HSV if you used a condom. I was and am obviously a very naïve 28 year old.

    I have been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years, having not seen my partner for most of that time due to Covid border closures. It’s been a really hard lonely few years so we had agreed on being able to sleep with other people in the meantime until we were reunited. Stupid idea in hindsight and we both regret it a lot but whats done is done.

    My diagnosis was a huge shock to me and it did not come with any support or kind words. I burst out crying when the doctor just non-chalantly said oh yeah it’s just probably herpes. He flat out just said it’s nothing to cry over, I’m overreacting. It was truly horrible. The official diagnosis then took 4 weeks for me to get because they lost my blood tests. It was a really hard long wait, to then find out I had both forms of HSV.

    My partner (fiance) was initially really supportive. When I called him crying saying the worst possible thing has happened, he was relieved when I told him I had HSV and not something terminal. That’s how upset I was to be admitting my diagnosis. With his support I really felt like it was going to be okay, that it didn’t really matter and he’s my forever person so disclosure never needed to be an issue again. It all felt like it was going to be okay and my life was not going to be any different, only that I would have to try protect my partner from contracting it.

    A few weeks later things changed. He suddenly got really mad about it, and we had a huge fight. He used my herpes diagnosis to call me a slut, dirty, disgusting, cheap, used, diseased, worthless, unlovable and all the rest. It was completely Earth-shattering to have the person I love tell me my life was never going to be okay, that I had done something so disgusting and shameful and I wouldn’t ever be accepted or loved again. He even told his Mum, and his friends, he really tried to destroy me emotionally over it. And he succeeded. Everything he said about me I have felt about myself since. It’s been really hard.

    I went crazy at him for making me feel so terrible about it, we had a very big fight, weeks long. And he popped back and apologised and cried and blah blah blah a few days later. I truly couldn’t see a future where if he didn’t love me then who else ever could, with what I was now. I felt like a rotton apple and that I didn’t have anything to offer anyone. So we made up. And it’s so embarrassing, because I’m a strong woman and I would NEVER in a million years let anyone treat me that way, but he had really made me feel like I deserved that. That the things he said about me were true and that if I didn’t take him back I couldn’t ever be loved again.

    When we made up, he tried to make amends for what he’d done to my self esteem, there were lots of apologies and kind words and love bombing, but he avoided talking about my diagnosis at all, and I was too ashamed to tell him I needed some compassion through it. So I suffered alone with no support, into a spiralling depression, through my first 5 months after diagnosis and through another outbreak. It was absolute hell.

    Fast forward to this weekend. My relationship had obviously turned to shit and we called it quits for good a few days ago. Aside from the way he made me feel about my HSV, I had really thought this was my forever person. So it’s obviously very hard on its own. But a traumatic break up combined with facing the rest of my life and one day dating with HSV, it seems almost insurmountable.

    I know I am a strong, funny, kind, caring, and all round awesome person, I deserve to be loved, and more than that I know whoever ends up with me is one lucky bastard! But gosh it’s so hard to even understand or see how I’ll ever get there. It feels like I’m in for a really lonely life.

    After some serious soul searching I’ve acknowledged that I’ve never had much of a healthy relationship with sex, and I don’t even know how to date without it. I feel a lot like, nobody loves you before you sleep with them, and nobody would choose to sleep with a person with herpes unless they already loved them, so it’s an impossible predicament and what am I supposed to do! At this point it’s not relevant because the thought of sex at all makes me physically feel ill. But one day maybe I’ll want to be loved again, and I’m so scared that I won’t even know how to begin climbing that mountain.

    BUT, today I am really trying to see a path to where I can love myself again. Which is I guess why I’m here. I don’t want to feel ashamed anymore. I don’t deserve to. I’m lucky in a way, my outbreaks aren’t that severe, and a stupid little skin blister shouldn’t feel like the end of my life.

    I know we are all going through this and I’m sorry if this sounds a bit self-indulgent and dramatic, I’m just a bit all over the place at the moment. I hope with some support and kindness from other strong awesome women who understand what I’m going through, that this will get easier.

    #44846
    hopeh5154
    Participant

    Does anyone have kids? I’ve had herpes for a while and I’ve been in denial. I do everything so that I keep my toddle safe. I read about this stuff and I take meds but not always. My outbreaks aren’t bad but I’m still afraid to transmit it to my toddle. I’ve never sat down with an expert and asked how to avoid transmission and just know what I’ve read. This page seem to have a good Dr and I decided to join. Can it be transmitted through sharing a bottle of water or utensils? I always try to be careful with these stuff. Any moms out there?

    #44844

    In reply to: My Herpes Journey

    BeLove
    Participant

    Yes, he disclosed it early on and told me he has been very careful. I wasn’t worried as I loved him so very much and as it turned out, I didn’t even have an outbreak until a few years ago. He has not had one in many years but I seem to have an outbreak very often, like if I am getting over it immediately it comes back. But I am blessed and just realize this is my new normal. Having gone through breast cancer, I try to embrace each day and it is gift of life. Sometimes it is hard though but I have to shake up myself to reality that this the way it is and deal. Being grateful and thankful for the beauty all around us. I wish you well!

    Kee
    Participant

    Hi Kay!!! I’m sure so many can relate. I still have no clue who I received it from since they used condoms but by the time I found out I had it, I was only with my now husband and he doesn’t have it (now 24 years later). I can tell you that it gets manageable and better. I don’t have many outbreaks or issues from it. It’s unfortunate that some people know they have it and still insist on bedroom action without offering the other person a choice. This shows how we have to be proactive with our health and ask for paperwork no matter how uncomfortable it may be. I don’t want another STI. I recently started looking around online after all of these years and I am blown away with how many people are in the same situation. You hear that it’s common but to actually but names and faces to it is soMething different. It’s good to know we’re really not alone and so many people are thriving.

    Your emotions are warranted and some deal with this differently than others. I don’t recall feeling too sad, more of confused. I just picked up the pieces and figured out my next steps. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Do not let this diagnosis define who you are as a person. Continue to love yourself and know your self worth. You still have your health and many other blessings that life has to offer. Do whatever you need to do to heal and cope so you can get to a good place of being able to accept it.

    I don’t take daily antivirals but I minimize eating the triggering foods and stress.

    There are many resources online that are informative and with uplifting information.

    #44832
    anh31528
    Participant

    I’m new to the forum but I’ve been struggling with genital HSV1 since March of 2020. A little back story on how it happened. My husband and I got married that January. About a month later I stopped taking my birth control, which I was on for over 15years. Anyway one day I remember having this sharp pain like something was inside my vagina. It was painful to sit. And I was super itchy near my rectum. I’m a nurse and I assessed the area and I thought it was some kind of rash. Never once thought it was herpes. Called my GYN because I couldn’t get rid of it. Was ordered a steroid cream with no relief. Went into the office to be seen and they took a swab of the lesion. A few days later while at work I got the call. I was positive for HSV1. My heart dropped.
    Fortunately my husband is very supportive. And since then he has developed oral hsv1. Neither one of us is sure who gave it to who. And it honestly doesn’t matter. But it’s the stigma around it that makes it so difficult to deal with. Since my diagnosis I gave birth to a healthy baby boy.
    I should add that after diagnosis I started taking valacyclovir 500mg for suppression. But I was still getting outbreaks so it was increased to 1000mg. But recently I’ve been getting outbreaks every few weeks. It seriously makes me so depressed. I just feel so disgusted with myself over the whole situation. So now I am waiting to hear back about seeing an infectious disease doctor and see what they can do. In the mean time I’m trying the Lysine and zinc. I hope it keeps it at bay.

Viewing 15 results - 31 through 45 (of 1,833 total)